马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S03E05

Part 3 Feb. 17, 2020, 10:47 a.m.

就不能找点靠谱的司机吗
you'd think they could vet their drivers better.
是什么软件
Which app is that?
我不应该说因为法律上的关系
I probably shouldn't say, for legal reasons.
不过你应该知道我说的是哪个
I think we all know which one I'm talking about.
你知道解决方式是什么吗
You know what would solve a lot of problems?
要是有女性专用拼车软件
If there was a ride-share app
所有司机都是女性那就好了
for women that only had women drivers.
真是个好主意陶德
That is such a good idea, Todd.
你一向很有些不错的想法
You always did have such great ideas.
你知道我还有什么想法吗
You know what else would be cool?
迷你杯子蛋糕枪
A miniature cupcake gun,
用来把小小的杯子蛋糕打进嘴里
so you could shoot tiny cupcakes into your mouth.
"天哪那个人要吞弹自杀吗"
"Uh-oh! Is that guy trying to kill himself?"
"并不只是一个杯子蛋糕"
"Nope, just a cupcake gun."
不对继续说你的上一个想法
Wait, no, go back to your other idea.
-哪个 -关于女性司机的那个
- Which one? - The one about the women drivers.
塔妮莎凯伦
Taneisha, and Karen.
凯伦塔妮莎
Karen and Taneisha.
我的基金会重点关注水资源净化问题
And my foundation focuses on clean water initiatives
所以我才认识了卡洛斯
and that's actually how I met Carlos.
他拥有一项关于离子矿化过程的专利
He patented a process for ionic remineralization.
-很赞 -太厉害了
- It's crazy. - That's incredible.
别说话不离本行了来嗑药吧
Okay, enough shop talk. Let's roll.
-戴安 -要吸毒行我可以
- Diane? - Oh, drug taking. That's cool. I'm cool.
这是什么迷魂药吗
What is this, Molly?
是啊戴安活在2013年的一个毒贩子
Yeah, Diane, some drug dealer from 2013
发现了一台时空机器给我们送来了迷魂药
found a time machine and gave us this Molly.
-早就没人吸那个了 -这叫戈糖
- Nobody does Molly anymore. - This is Gush.
什么叫戈糖
What's Gush?
听我说戴安我知道你也许并不适应这些
Look, Diane, I get that this is maybe not your usual scene.
所以你不必勉强...
So don't feel like you have to do any--
没事我可以的来吸吧
No, no, I can hang. Let's do drugs.
来把这片药放进嘴里
Let's put the drug in my mouth,
来磕来卷来吸...
so I can trip or roll or gush or--
你们都吞了
Oh, you all did it. Uh...
嗨起来吧... 不是立刻见效的是吗
Here we go. Oh, it doesn't hit right away, does it?
-需要几分钟时间 -好吧
- No, it'll take a few minutes. - Okay.
你们是怎么认识屎台子的
So how'd you guys meet Shitshow?
我们去听了他的TED演讲
We went to his TED Talk.
TED是美国一家
分享关于技术娱乐设计的非盈利机构
尚象餐厅
能跟同龄女性约会的感觉真是太好了
Oh, it is so great to finally date a woman my age.
-是啊 -而且她很喜欢自己的肤色
- Yes. - Who's comfortable in her own skin.
我常说天无绝猫之路...
I always say, there's more than one way for a cat...
猫皮也一样
you know, to have skin.
而且已经接受了不生孩子的事实
And has come to terms with not having children.
你为什么觉得我不愿意生孩子
What makes you think I don't want to have children?
拜托你开玩笑吗你都这么大年纪了
Oh, come on. What are you, serious? At your age?
谁能生孩子谁不能什么时候由你来决定了
Since when are you an expert on who can and cannot have children?
我是妇科医生专攻生育方面
I'm a gynecologist. I specialize in fertility.
你可以到我的病床上躺下
I'd be happy to put you in the stirrups,
让我来看看你那些老卵子
look at the old cat eggs.
恶就算其他白犀牛妇科医生都死光了我也不愿意
Ecch! Not if you were the last albino rhino gyno on the planet.
我不认识其他白犀牛妇科医生
I'm the only albino rhino gyno I know.
要来点红酒吗
Should we get some wine?
真是绝了你还是个酒鬼
Oh, great. You're also a wine addict.
嗨起来
Oh, yeah!
起步时我们大概只需要十台车
So to do a soft launch, I think we'd only need about ten cars.
软件的功能由我来负责
I could work out any bugs with the app.
你真的很懂这些
You really know what you're talking about.
要是我们一起开始这个项目
So, do you think your girlfriend would get jealous
你女朋友会不会吃醋...
if we started this project together, or...
天哪这就让你很尴尬了
Oh, God, this is so embarrassing for you,
因为我没有女朋友
but I actually don't have a girlfriend.
你的猜测完全跑偏了
That's a really weird assumption for you to make.
这样显得你非常傻
You look really dumb right now.
不其实我挺希望你是单身的
No, actually, I was kind of hoping you weren't seeing anybody.
其实我也是单身呢
I'm also not seeing anybody, for what it's worth.
陶德你这人一定特别酷
Hey, Todd, you must be a real cool dude
要不一个电影明星怎么会跟你是朋友
if a movie star wants to hang out with you for no reason.
我把我订好的房♥间钥匙给你
Just wanted to give you a key to the room I booked,
现在没人在里面
which nobody is in right now.
-你懂的 -波杰克
- Winkity dinkity. - BoJack.
你们两个应该上去看看床能不能用
Maybe you two should just go see if the bed works.
现在好多房♥间的床都有问题
A lot of these rooms have faulty beds.
-好主意 -好
- That's a great idea. - Uh, yeah.
让我先喝完这杯酒
Okay, let me just finish this cocktail real quick.
好陶德快喝加油
All right, Todd. Yeah, go.
好的我再去拿一两杯酒
Cool, I'm just gonna get one or two more drinks
然后我们再上去看那张床
and then we'll go check out that bed.
好吧
Okay.
大家好
Um... hello, everybody.
我一直在想波杰克之前说过的话
I was thinking about what BoJack said before.
他说当你确定的时候就确定了
About how when you know, you know.
于是我在问自己 "我确定吗"
And I'm sitting there, and I'm thinking, "Do I know?"
我大概确定吧
I mean, I think I know.
但是如果确定的时候就确定而我只是大概确定
But if you know when you know and I only think that I know,
那也许就是不确定的意思对吗
maybe that means that I don't know, right?
-天哪 -凯伦对不起
- Oh, boy. - Karen, I'm sorry.
我爱你但是我做不到婚礼取消
I love you, but I can't do this. The wedding's off.
-这是预演晚宴 -谢谢你波杰克
- It's a rehearsal dinner. - Thank you, BoJack.
感觉没反应啊
I don't think it's working.
我是不是做错了
Am I doing this wrong?
我吸毒都能吸错吗
Am I doing drugs wrong?
亚力克西那个妞回你信了吗
Alexi, did you hear back from that piece you texted?
"那个妞"
"That piece"?
那个妞可真辣她叫什么名字来着
That girl was hot. What was her name again?
无所谓了享受现在就好了对吗
Doesn't matter. I mean, let's just enjoy ourselves, right?
-戴安 -怎么
- Diane? - What?
不是那个辣妞好像名字叫戴安
No, the hot girl. Her name was Diane.
你把她的号♥码存成了大美女戴安
You saved her in your phone as Cool Sexy Diane.
行了别说了
Let's just, like, drop it, now.
好巧啊你有两个朋友都叫戴安
That's funny. You have two friends named Diane.
我还认识戴安·莲恩[美国演员] 所以嘛
You know, I also know Diane Lane. So, there's that.
我们为什么要说其他戴安的事
Why are we talking about other Dianes?
你想象一下你本想发短♥信♥给大美女戴安
Hey, wouldn't it be funny if you tried to text Cool Sexy Diane,
但是却不小心发给了很无趣的戴安
but then instead you texted Regular Boring Diane by mistake?
结果我来了然后你一看 "这人是谁啊"
And then I showed up and you were like, "Who's this chick?"
然后我一晚上都跟你们一起玩
All night, I'd be hanging out with you,
以为自己是你们的一员
thinking I was one of the gang,
结果发现根本是搞错了
but it was just a big mistake
因为你本来是想发给...
because you meant to text--
天哪原来真是这么回事
Oh, shit, that's exactly what happened.
等等戴安听我说
Wait, Diane, please hear me out...
完了药效来了我得走了
Oh, shit. It's hitting. I gotta go.
-戴安等等 -我明白的
- Diane, wait. Come on. - I get it, okay?
你很酷我很呆我早就该知道
You're the cool kids. I'm the nerd. I should have known.
我确实发错短♥信♥了
So I texted the wrong person.
那又如何这又不是高中
So what? This isn't high school.
没什么呆不呆酷不酷的大家都是成年人
There's no nerds and no cool kids. We're all adults.
在一起玩得开心最重要
We're hanging out together and having a good time.
跟我回去吧
So just come back inside.
大家都知道我不适合那里
Everyone knows I don't belong there.
你想待在哪里就适合哪里
Hey, you belong wherever you want to belong, Diane.
-真的吗 -当然看着我
- Yeah? - Yeah, look at me.
我是个很帅的白人从不会觉得自己是局外人
I'm a handsome white guy and I never feel like I don't belong.
而且你磕了很多戈糖
Also, you took a shit ton of gush.
-待会世界都要颠覆了 -我吃了一片而已
- Things are about to get insane. - I just took one pill.
一片就很多了
Yeah, that's a shit ton.
-我的牛仔裤感觉好舒服啊 -那就好
- My jeans feel amazing right now. - That is great.
我感受到了好多爱我必须说出来