少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S03E19

Part 3 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:35 p.m.

Thank you so much for giving that fake interview to Riley.
谢谢你给莱丽做了个假面试
She'll never know that job doesn't exist.
绝不能让她知道这工作是假的
Uh, I think she knows.
这个嘛我看她是知道了
Riley.
莱丽
I can explain.
我能解释
Okay.
好吧
But I'm gonna be listening for the phrase
但你的解释我听着都像是一句话
"I'm a bitch."
我是个贱♥人♥
So maybe I can't explain.
看来你不会听了
Why would you get my hopes up for a job
你为什么要凭空编一个工作出来
that doesn't even exist?
让我白高兴一场
I'm sorry.
对不起
I was just trying to get you to like me.
我只是想让你喜欢我
Oh. Oh my God, is that it?
呀天啊就因为这个么
Oh, well, we should just hug,
那我们还不如抱一抱
or braid each other's hair,
或者帮对方梳头
or throw each other off the roof.
或者把对方从屋顶上扔下去
I'll start.
我先来
Is there any way you could maybe not mention this to Danny?
能不能求求你别告诉丹尼
Mention it?
告诉他
I am going to turn it into a play
我打算写个剧本
and then perform it for him.
亲自演给他看
It's called "I told you so."
剧名就叫《我说啥来着》
So if you'll excuse me
所以原谅我失陪了
I'm gonna go high five myself.
我要跟自己击个掌庆祝去
Damn it, they really do keep it locked up.
可恶他们还真知道要锁房♥门
Oh, here they come. Abort abort.
他们来了中止中止
Pledges, step forward
申请人向前一步
and prepare to be marked for life.
准备好留下一辈子的标记吧
Bear your arms.
抬起胳膊
Oh, I was afraid of this.
我就怕这个
Branding.
烙印
Branding?
烙印
Like cattle?
像给肉牛烙印吗
Nope. Tattooed.
不对是纹身
Like a badass.
就像恶人那样
Seriously?!
没搞错吧
That's it?
就这破玩意啊
Dude, you're supposed to make us do naked push-ups,
几位你们该让我们脱♥光♥了做俯卧撑
give us humiliating nicknames,
起侮辱人的外号♥
blindfold us and drop us off in the woods
蒙着眼把我们扔树林里
with a match and a toenail clipper.
只留一盒火柴和一只脚指甲钳
I barely survived out there, man!
我当年差点没挺过来哥们
Why would we do that?
我们干嘛那么做
Because we're pledges.
因为我们是新人
It's what you're supposed to do.
你们就该这样
Here's an idea.
不如这样吧
Maybe we can clean the floors using toothbrushes
也许我们可以用牙刷刷地板
while you guys go out and party?
然后你们几个只管去玩
Or to the library, your choice.
或者去图书馆随你们的便
You'd really do that? Yeah, you bet.
你真这么想那当然
That's just how much we want to be here.
这才能显示我们入会的热情嘛
New plan.
新计划
I decree the pledges clean the house
我决定让新人们用牙刷
with toothbrushes.
清理整间房♥间
Brothers, get them your toothbrushes.
弟兄们把你们的牙刷拿来
Wait--
等等
But if you leave,
如果你们这就走了
how will you know we'll stay and do the work?
那谁能保证我们乖乖地留下干活
Excellent point.
此言有理
Remove your pants.
你们把裤子脱下来
There you go.
这才像样嘛
Good work, brother Tucker.
干得漂亮塔克尔兄弟
Oh, Danny Danny Danny.
丹尼丹尼丹尼
Do I have a story for you, all right?
听我给你讲个故事
Curtain rises on a beautiful girl.
大幕拉开美丽的女一号♥登台
Let's call her Riley.
暂且称她为"莱丽"
The evil ice queen, let's call her your girlfriend--
而邪恶的冰皇后暂且称为"你女友"
She's not my girlfriend. I just got off the phone with her.
她不再是了我们刚通过电♥话♥
Damn it. She told you?
可恶她抢先告诉你了吗
I wanted to be the one to tell you.
人家想亲自讲给你听嘛
Can I still tell you?
我再讲一遍行不行
Why would you want to tell me
她把我甩了
that she was breaking up with me?
你这么积极做什么
You mean you're breaking up with her.
你想说的是你甩了她吧
No. Why would I break up with her?
不啊我甩她做什么
I was falling in love with her.
我都爱上她了
You were? Yeah.
真的吗当然
I thought she was falling in love with me.
我还以为她也爱我呢
You did?
你真这么想
I just never had feelings like that really
我还从来没有过这种感受
except for you--
除了对你...
You know, no one.
你懂的谁也不除哈
Well...
那
What exactly did she tell you?
她怎么跟你讲的
Just that it was too hard.
她只说事情太艰难了
That she could see this was never going to work.
觉得这段关系不会有结果
That I had too many rules, which makes no sense
说我给她立了太多莫名其妙的规矩
Because I only had the one that she had to get along with you.
因为我只要求她能跟你好好相处啊
You said that to her?
你这么跟她说了
Yeah.
是啊
And now you guys are best friends,
现在你俩成好朋友了
and I just got dumped.
我却被甩了
Do you think it'd be weird if I asked you to stop talking to her?
你觉得如果我让你别再跟她说话会不会很奇怪
It's the least I can do.
这一点我还是能做到的
Dude, I can't believe you couldn't
哥们我真不敢相信
break into your own foosball table.
你连自己的足球桌都破不了
Hey, I called in an expert.
喂我都把专家叫来了
All right, almost there.
好啦马上就好
Oh, all right.
好嘞
And here we go. Emma's college fund is found.
搞定艾玛的大学基金找到了
And it's not even enough to apply to college.
这连申请大学都不够
Really, Ben?
不是吧本
A fistful of ones
一把一块钱
and an expired sandwich coupon?!
还有一张过期了的三明治优♥惠♥券
You know, now that I think about it,
我现在刚想起来
I only started doing this a couple weeks ago.
我才刚攒了几个星期
Let's get out of here.
我们快走吧
That was super funny.
那真是太好玩了
What the heck is going on here?!
这尼玛是什么情况
And why is the foosball cougar here?
桌上足球女郎为什么会在这
I knew you'd find me.
我就知道你找得到我
Look, here's the truth.
事实是这样的
This is my foosball table.
这是我的足球桌
My mom accidentally sold it to you.
我妈不小心把它卖♥♥给你们了
It has my daughter's college fund inside of it.
我女儿的大学基金还在里面
You have a kid?
你有孩子了
What's it like having sex?
滚床单是什么感觉
Hot-- that's not the point.
欲♥火♥焚... 重点不在这好吗
Look, there no longer is a point, okay?
现在也没有重点了好吧
'Cause there's no money in there, so we'll see you.
因为这里面也没有钱所以回见了各位
You guys are really leaving?
你们真要走吗
Oh, hell yes.
不走干屁啊
I am in my boxers for a fistful of ones.
我穿着大裤衩只为了一把一块钱
You might as well start calling me cinnamon.
你们如果也想叫我小肉桂皮就随你们的便好了
Well, it looks like we're not gonna be a fraternity anymore.
看样子我们也组不成兄弟会了
What are you talking about?
你说什么呢
We haven't met our minimum number of pledges.
我们还没达到最少预备会员人数
We stopped looking after you guys walked in
你们来了之后我们就没再找人了
and pledge week ends tonight.
预备招募周今晚就结束了