少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S06E01

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:14 p.m.

Oh, my God!
我的天啊
There he is, and he's huge.
他在这儿他好大啊
You gotta admit, that's a big burrito.
你必须得承认这个煎饼真大
Danny, do you remember this morning
丹尼你还记得今天早上吗
when you said I've been "edgy" for the last two months,
你说我最近两个月很"暴躁"
and if I don't calm down, I'll never make it through the next 11?
如果我不能冷静就熬不过接下来的十一个月
First of all, honey, your math is off.
首先宝贝你的数学太烂了
And second, you're about to see the next level of edgy
第二如果你再继续捣乱
if you don't stop messing around.
你就会看见升级版的暴躁
Because if we get thrown out of here and I lose my doctor,
因为如果我们被丢出去我失去我的医生
I will rain down a level of edge on you
我会让你见识见识
you never even knew existed.
你从未听说过的暴躁
Doctor Hastings and I have been planning
黑斯廷斯医生和我
the birth of my first child
从我还是小姑娘时
since I was a little girl,
就开始计划我第一个孩子的出生
and she is the only woman who can deliver this baby.
只有她才能帮我接生这个宝宝
So if I lose my doctor, I lose my mind.
所以如果我失去我的医生我就会失去理智
And if I lose my mind...
如果我失去理智...
Well, I think we both know how that goes, Danny.
我觉得咱俩都知道会是什么后果丹尼
Don't we? Don't we?
不是吗不是吗
I think so.
是的
I'll go find the doctor. Yeah, good idea.
我去找医生好主意
I swallowed a penny when I was six
我六岁时吞下了一枚硬币
and I wanted to see if it was still there.
想知道它还在不在
Where's the doctor?
医生呢
Honey, Dr. Hastings has gone to a better place.
宝贝黑斯廷斯医生去了一个更好的地方
She switched hospitals? She didn't even tell me.
她换医院了吗她没跟我说啊
Well, she's dead, so she probably didn't have time to call.
她死了所以可能没时间打电♥话♥给你
**It's amazing how the unexpected*
*人生妙无边惊喜无极限
**Can take your life and change directions.*
*劝君莫等闲雌雄随我愿
I'm just saying, if you're gonna call someone fat,
我只想说如果你想说一个人胖
you've gotta use your inside voice.
你得在心里默默地说
"Oh, come to LA. It's amazing."
"来洛杉矶吧特别棒"
"Oh, oh. Oh, LA?"
"洛杉矶吗"
More like Hell-A!
应该是"地狱矶"吧
Oh, look, Uncle Tucker's getting snap,
看塔克尔叔叔又把
crackle, drunk for breakfast again.
咬牙切齿地醉酒当早饭了
Yeah, well there's no reason to be sober
是啊当你无处可去的时候
when you've got nowhere to go.
还有什么理由保持清醒
I've got nowhere to go, man.
我没地方可以去了兄弟
You'll find another job, dude.
你会找到别的工作的哥们
Come on, just tell me what happened in LA.
好了你就告诉我洛杉矶的事吧
Was it that bad?
有那么惨吗
No. No, it was amazing.
不没有特别棒
Yeah, I just missed you all so much,
是的我只是太想你们了
I had to come back home.
不得不回来
Yes, it was bad!
是的很惨
Well, you gotta figure something out.
你得把这事理清楚
You're kind of pathetic.
你现在有点可悲啊
Hold up. I'm pathetic?
等等我可悲吗
How many times have you been to the dry cleaners this week,
你这周去过几次干洗店
looking for some girl you saw
去找两个月前
two months ago for, like, two seconds?
见过两秒的那个姑娘了
Zero.
零次
What's that in your hand?
你手里是什么
You owe me 26.50 for your boxers.
洗了你的短裤你欠我26块5
Light starch.
去污剂
I bet you don't even know her name.
我敢肯定你都不知道她的名字
Sure, I do. It's Mrs. Ben Wheeler.
我当然知道她叫本·维勒夫人
And it wasn't once, it was three times.
而且不是一次是三次
That has got to mean something.
肯定有什么特殊含义
Not really.
并没有
No, I ran into Bald Marcia from that weird
没有昨天我在那个奇怪的酸奶烤肉店
yogurt kabob place four times yesterday,
碰到鲍尔德·玛西亚四次
and I don't want to have sex with her.
我也没想跟她滚床单
I bet you don't even remember what she looks like.
我敢肯定你都不记得她长什么样
Course I do.
我当然记得
She has beautiful... red--
她有一头漂亮的...红
Brown. Brown hair,
棕棕色头发
with piercing green--
和一双亮晶晶的绿
Blue. Bluegreen eyes.
蓝蓝绿色眼睛
And is about this--
大概这么
More. This tall.
高一点这么高
Oh, my God, dude. It's her.
我的天啊哥们是她
Emma! It worked!
艾玛有用啊
I posted one of those Missed Connections, and she answered!
我发了一条"失去联络" 她回复了
She's been looking for me like I've been looking for her.
她也像我找她一样在找我
I think I am gonna wear my favorite black shirt.
我觉得我要穿那条我最喜欢的黑衬衫
Blue. Favorite blue shirt.
蓝最喜欢的蓝衬衫
I mean, how can Dr. Hastings be dead?
黑斯廷斯医生怎么会死
She was such a vibrant 87.
她87岁还那么硬朗
What am I supposed to do now?
我现在该怎么办
"We," What are we supposed Not we.
是我们我们该怎么办不是我们
Not we. Me. Okay?
不是我们是我好吗
Only one of us is growing a human being in their uterus
我们之中只有一个人子♥宫♥里有个小孩
and having it yanked out by a stranger in six months.
六个月后还有个陌生人要把它拉出去
Hey, why don't we just ask my mom for her doc?
我们可以去找我妈的医生啊
I mean, she pretty much has the same lady parts.
反正她的女性器官和你的都差不多
Oh, God, I think I just ruined sex.
天啊我想我刚刚毁了我的性生活
Danny, you cannot tell your mother that my gyno died.
丹尼你不能告诉你妈我的妇产科医生死了
All right? She's already, like,
好吗她已经像是一个
some pregnancy advice faucet that I can't turn off.
我关不掉的孕期建议水龙头
Yesterday, she told me it's okay to drink
昨天她还告诉我可以喝酒
because I'm still not showing and no one will know.
因为我还没显怀没人会知道的
Okay, you have to promise me that you will keep her away from me.
所以你得答应我你会让她远离我
I promise.
我答应你
But she and Brad are leaving in a couple days
但是她和布拉德过几天就要离开
for their around-the-world tour,
去开始他们的环球之旅了
so you won't have to deal with it for about a year.
所以你大概一年都不用担心这个问题
Oh, sweetie, are you okay? What's wrong?
亲爱的你还好吗怎么了
A year?
一年
I'm just so happy.
我只是太开心了
Hey, Riles.
小莱
I just found the most amazing cream for your nipples.
我刚刚发现了特别适合你乳♥头♥的乳霜
My nipples are fine.
我的乳♥头♥很好
They won't be.
以后就不会了
Okay, hey. Honey, here. You've got to hide this.
好了亲爱的你得把这个藏起来
Why am I hiding your passport?
我为什么要藏你的护照
Because I'm not going with Brad to Peru
因为我不要和布拉德去什么秘鲁
or Kathmandu or, or any place ending in "Ooh."
或是加德满都或是任何以"呜"结尾的地方
What are you gonna tell him? He'll be so disappointed.
那你要和他怎么说他会很失望的
Which is exactly why you're going to tell him that I can't leave
这就是为什么你要告诉他我不能离开
because Riley needs me.
因为莱丽需要我
I'm not sure she does.
我不确定她需要
Sweetie, it's her first baby.
亲爱的这是她的第一个孩子
The first always needs extra attention.
第一个总是需要格外的注意
The second baby, that's when you can start slacking.
怀第二个的时候你就可以开始偷懒了
Listen, there's gonna be some problems.
听着可能会有些问题
Oh, there already are.
已经有了
Her lady doc just died.
她的女医生死了
That was a secret.
那本来是个秘密的
Why don't you just take her to my guy?
你为什么不带她去见我的医生
Dr. Marsh.
马什医生
So hot.
特别帅
There's nothing like a sexy mechanic working under the hood.
什么也比不上穿着大褂工作的性感技工
Sorry. Anyway, listen.
抱歉无论如何听好了
Remember, you and Riley can't live without me.
记住你和莱丽离了我不能活
Danny! Just the person I was looking for.
丹尼我正要找你
I need you to convince your mom to go away with me.
我需要你说服你妈和我走
You need to let her know that
你得让她知道