少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S03E11

Part 3 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:34 p.m.

She is nothing like me.
她一点都不像我
She is nuts!
她是个疯婆子
I've gotta get those keys back.
我得把钥匙拿回来
Oh yeah, you've gotta get those keys back.
说得对必须拿回来
There, super glue and duct tape.
好啦万能胶和大力胶
This is never gonna work.
这绝对不行
It just needs to get us to the beach.
能撑到海滩就行
And then once we're there, we'll be all like,
只要到了那儿我们就说
"Oh my god, Danny, somebody sideswiped the car
"完蛋了丹尼有人碰掉了后视镜
and then tried to super glue and duct tape it back together."
还试图用万能胶和大力胶粘回去"
Here he comes. Hey.
他来了嗨
Hey, guys, ready to go? Oh my god!
嗨伙计们准备好出发了吗我滴个天呐
I think I forgot the chips.
我好像忘了带薯条
All right, that's okay. Who needs 'em?
没关系啦谁爱吃那玩意
All right, hop hop, chop chop,
好啦上车走着
'cause you don't want your mom walking by
因为你也不希望你老妈从这路过
and catching you in a great big lie.
发现你撒了个弥天大谎
Nope. Thanks, guys.
当然谢谢
Thank you. Great.
谢谢太好了
Oh my god, I think we're pulling it off.
天呐我觉着成了
Don't jinx it, don't jinx it.
别高兴太早别高兴太早
Bailey!
贝莉
Let's go. Ready to go?
走吧准备好了吗
Hey, what happened to the Oh! Look out!
怎么回事当心
Bailey, are you okay?
贝莉你没事吧
Oh my god.
我的天
Is this your father's car?!
这是你♥爸♥爸的车吗
Okay you just let us know if you need anything, Bailey-bee.
需要什么尽管招呼我们贝贝
Pillow, tea, perhaps a bus ticket to crazy town?
枕头茶再来张去疯狂小镇的车票
Well?
怎么样了
Well, it's just a bruised wrist,
手腕淤青而已
so unfortunately she's gonna make it.
所以很不幸她死不了
Yo, is it wrong to hit someone with a car
一天之内又是撞人又是打破禁令
and a restraining order on the same day?
好像不太好是吧
If only it were that simple.
要是这么简单就好了
It seems if you break up with her,
看样子你要是和她分手
she's gonna sue Danny for everything he's worth,
她就会起诉丹尼干的好事
which I'd be fine with if I didn't get 15% off the top.
反正即使罚金打不了八五折姐也无所谓
Mom, you have to fix this.
妈你得搞定这件事
You're the one that brought itsy-bitsy Bonnie into our lives.
是你把小版邦妮领回家的
Oh! And-- yeah, well, you're the one
是啊是你们
who mowed her down with dad's mistress,
是你开着你爹的小蹄子把她铲倒的
that two-door whore Adrienne.
那两门的小骚车艾德丽安
You know her name is Adele mom.
你明知道她的名字是阿黛尔妈
I don't care what her name is!
老娘才不管她的名字是个啥
I need all of us to focus!
你们别说没用的了
It's not really the problem right now!
这根本不是现在最紧要的问题
Mom, okay.
妈我问你
Since you seem to have one or two things in common with Bailey,
既然你和贝莉有这么多相似之处
what would get rid of you?
那我该怎么甩了你
Well, probably a single dad who works for tips
只要你是个单身爸爸靠小费吃饭
and lives with a giant and a dwarf!
还和一个巨人和一个矮人住在一起就行
But since that hasn't worked, I don't know!
但既然这一套没管用那我也没辙了
Great. So she's the mother of the mother of all crazies.
太好了那她就算是世间群疯之母了
That's it.
对了
You just have to out-crazy the crazy.
你只需要比她还疯就可以给她逼走
I think I know how to fix this. You do?
我想出办法了真的吗
Oh yeah, that Ray Wheeler is gonna rue
当然雷·维勒一定会为他背着我
the day he tried to hide Annabelle and double-cross me!
跟那骚车安娜贝尔厮混感到后悔的
Mom, you know it's "Adele"!
妈人家明明叫阿黛尔
I don't care what her name is!
老娘才不管她叫张三还是李四
Okay, mom!
打住老妈
Again, kinda missing the real issue here.
又来了你们是不是搞错重点了
No, I'm not. It's parked right downstairs.
我没有重点就在楼下停着呢
Well, I think mom's out.
我看老妈指望不上了
Now what are we supposed to do?
现在该怎么办
It's Riley's phone.
是莱丽的手♥机♥
Pete's Auto Body?
皮特汽车修理
Riley, that girl's body bouncing off the windshield
莱丽那个撞到车窗上的肉感姑娘
is the best thing that's every happened to us.
简直就是天降鸿福啊
You know, just play it cool
只要你假装没事儿人
and he'll blame all the damage on her.
她就会把所有的损伤全怨到她头上
Great. You're right. I can do this.
你说得对我能行的
"Scratch? What scratch?"
"刮痕啥刮痕"
That was the repair guy.
刚才是修车的打来的
Scratch? What scratch?
人家不知道什么刮痕啦
The scratch he got when he hit Bailey,
就是他开车撞到贝莉弄出来的刮痕
and the scratch that your good friend Riley
而你的绝世好朋友莱丽
already called to have taken care of for you.
早就替你安排了车身修理
Oh yeah, that's me, just always thinking ahead.
我就是这样的人总是走一步看十步
So far ahead, you actually called
能预判这么久以至于你一天之前
a whole day before the accident?
就已经知道车需要修理了吗
I got nothing.
我无语了
I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened.
太对不起了我都不知道怎么回事
Okay, that mailbox just jumped out of nowhere.
路中间就那么拔地而起个邮筒
I'm sorry, I just-- I don't know, I panicked.
真抱歉我我慌神了
I mean, a mailbox is federal property.
邮筒可是联邦政♥府♥的财产
I could go to jail. I could end up like Gretchen Schilling,
我会坐牢的就像格雷琴·希林那样
behind bars with a stainless steel toilet
关在牢里守着个磨得发光的铁马桶
and-- and no hair product.
而且还没法洗头
I wouldn't make it.
我根本活不下去
I mean, those girls are even crazier than that one.
牢里的女的比屋里那位还要疯
Oh my god, that's exactly what we need.
天啊这正是我们需要的
Oh my god, Ben, listen No no no no,
我的天本你不不不
it's like what mom said,
就像老妈说的
we need to out-crazy the crazy.
我们得找个比疯子还疯的
Where's Gretchen these days? No. No no no.
格雷琴最近混哪去了不行没门
Ben, I am not calling the scariest person I know
本我绝不会把我见过最吓人的人叫来
to come threaten your new roommate.
只是为了吓唬吓唬你的新室友
Oh, so you would rather let your best friend
是吗也就是说即便我和邮政部长
get dragged into court for something both myself
一致认定错的是你你也要
and the postmaster general
让你最好的朋友
would agree is actually your fault?!
替你担责上法庭吗
Well, now that I think about it,
我又仔细想了想
her number is still in my phone.
我手♥机♥里还是有她的号♥码的
Oh, I wonder who that could be.
哎呀竟不知今日有客来访
Are you gentlemen expecting anyone?
两位先生可是有约在身吗
I know I am not.
我不曾有啊
Nor am I.
我也没有
Riley, what are you doing here? Where's Gretchen?
莱丽你来干什么格雷琴呢
Turns out the number I had was from a stolen phone.
原来我存的她的号♥码是一部失窃手♥机♥的号♥码
But don't worry. I got this.
别担心交给我
Shut up, Wheeler, and let me see my baby.
闭上嘴维勒我要来看俺闺女
Mama's home!
妈妈回家啦
Yo, who's the wigstand?
哎哟这谁家小妖精
Better question: who's this?
更该问的是这是谁
That's Gretchen, Emma's mom.
她是格雷琴艾玛的妈咪
Yeah. Yeah, she's been away for like the last six months.
是啊是啊她走了大概六个月了
Supposed to be nine but, you know, good behavior.
是九个月好吗你在家还挺乖的吧
And how about you get your feet
你要不介意的话不如把你的臭脚
off my coffee table?
从我的茶几上拿下来
I didn't steal it for you to ruin.
这可不是老娘偷来让你糟蹋的
And this is Bailey. She's a-- a friend.
这是贝莉我一个朋友
Oh, I am a lot more than a friend.
不只是朋友好吗
Well, you're not anymore, 'cause now that I'm out,
就算是现在你也没戏了
I am back with my man.
因为老娘要回到我的男人身边
And I'm warning you--
我警告你
Don't get in my way.
挡我者死
Was that a threat? Yes.
威胁我啊是的
Yeah, I believe it was.
我想她是在威胁你