少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S03E05

Part 4 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:33 p.m.

Ooh, wait.
等等
Like riding a bike, you know?
就像骑单车一样懂吗
Wait wait wait wait-- Bonnie...
等一下邦妮
Riley, I can explain!
莱丽我能解释
Where-- where are they going?
她们要去哪
And what did you do?
你干了什么好事
Ugh, I swear!
我发誓
This purse is just gonna be the end--
这是我最后一次把包
Brad?
布拉德
Tad?
泰德
So do you guys want one big apology,
那啥你们俩希望我们一起道个大歉
Or two little ones?
还是分别道两个小歉
Maybe if we... or we could just...
也许只要我们... 或者我们只要...
No, Ben, that's illegal.
不本那是违法的
Ben, it's over.
本死心吧
We are never gonna be winning any hearts and minds
我们不可能赢得大家的支持
once people find out that we killed Mrs. Curtis.
一旦他们发现是我们害死了柯蒂斯太太
Tucker, man, it's gonna be fine.
塔克尔不会有事的
You weren't the one who had to climb on top of her
又不是你爬到她头顶
and give her cpr!
给她做人工呼吸的
It is never going to be fine.
不可能没事的
I am never going to be fine.
我这辈子都不能好了
Her teeth came out.
她的假牙还掉出来了
Men.
小伙子们
I can't believe I made two of you.
真不敢相信我生了你们两个
I disgust myself.
我恶心我自己
You think you can walk all over us.
你以为你能就这样甩了我们吗
Well, guess what--
怎么着
I am not a floor.
老娘又不是地板
But if I was a floor,
就算老娘是地板
I would be covered in beautiful shag carpeting.
也要铺上漂亮的粗毛地毯
Sure, I might have some traffic patterns
当然上面可能有碾过的痕迹
and a bald spot near the floor lamp.
落地灯旁也许还有块秃斑
But my point is--
但我想说的重点是...
Do you actually even have a point?
您讲话真的有点吗
No, I am so upset, I have no idea
不我伤心死了我都不知道
where I'm going with this.
该怎么办了
Mrs. Wheeler.
维勒太太
I didn't-- I was--
我没有我不是
I didn't mean to--
我不是有意
Okay, boys, look at this face, huh?
看看这张脸
This is the face of a true friend.
这才是真正的朋友
She threw a $15 cocktail into a man's face.
她把一杯15刀的鸡尾酒倒在一个男人的脸上
For me. $15.
为了我 15刀呢
So, remember when I said
还记得我说过
that your boyfriend kind of hit on me?
你男友对我有意思吗
Yeah. Well, it turns out he didn't.
记得实际上他并没有
And his brother Tad really does exist.
确实有泰德这么个人
Oh, why are you trying to cover up for that
你何必为了那个既不好也不帅
no-good, gorgeous man that I dumped because of you?
而且还因为你被我甩了的人求情呢
I can't believe god made two of them.
不敢相信真的是俩人
All right.
好吧
Oh, my god. I've gotta go.
天呐我得走了
You are dead to me.
再也不理你了
Oh, hey, mom. Hi, honey.
嗨老妈嗨亲爱的
Hey, guys, it worked!
兄弟们成了
I set up a surveillance camera,
我装了一台监视器
and I caught the detergent thief.
抓住了偷清洗剂的贼
Wow, that's great.
太棒了
Hey, remind me to put that in today's list of amazing accomplishments--
提醒我把这条写进"今日大成就"里
Right after "We're getting evicted"
写在"我们被赶出去了"
and "I kissed a dead woman."
和"我亲了一个死掉的女人"之后
Evicted?
被赶出去
Oh, we'll see about that.
那可不一定哦
Wait for it.
马上
Wait for it.
马上
There! There.
到了到了
Gotcha.
抓住你啦
Now what have you got to say, huh?
你还有什么要说的吗
Okay, so maybe I borrowed a few drops
好吧我或许借了几滴
of your precious detergent.
你们宝贵的清洗剂
It is so not a big deal.
又不是什么了不得的事
Everyone does it. Everyone!
每个人都这样做每个人
Ho, ho! Then I guess you wouldn't mind me
那么你不介意我
emailing this video to everyone in the building.
把这段录像发到楼里每个人的邮箱里吧
You wouldn't dare.
你们才不敢呢
Oh, wouldn't I?
为什么
Obviously meaning that I would.
很明显我敢
Okay! Fine!
好吧好吧
He can be president.
他可以做楼管
Yes!
太好了
Make whatever stupid rules you want.
你们可以随便制定愚蠢的规矩
At least now I won't have people calling
最起码再也不会有人
and complaining 24 hours a day.
24小时给我打电♥话♥抱怨了
Wait, they call you? All the time.
慢着住客会给你打电♥话♥吗没完没了的
Oh, and no more of those horrible meetings.
还要开讨厌的会
So boring.
无聊透了
There are meetings?
还要开会吗
Twice a week.
一周两次
Plus there's the monthly chat with the plumber,
每月还要与水管工谈一次话
the daily argument with the super,
每天与超♥市♥争执
paying the maintenance bills-- oh, my god.
付维护费我滴个去了
The bookkeeping alone nearly killed me.
光是记账就折磨死我了
But you'll find out soon enough. See ya!
你们很快就明白了回见
Wait a second. Hang on.
等等别走
Congratulations Wheeler. You saved tar beach.
恭喜啊你保住了沥青海滩
And you know, if you squint,
知道吗斜着眼睛的话
the helicopters kind of look like fireflies.
直升机看起来就像萤火虫
So... turns out that politics really is about compromise.
那么政♥治♥其实就是妥协
Marshmallow, Madam president?
吃块棉花糖吗楼管女士
Oh, my god. How much fun is this? I love it!
天呐太好玩了我好喜欢
I cannot believe I was gonna try to shut this down.
没想到我居然还想禁止这个
Oh, my god, it reminds me of when I used to go to camp.
让我想起了我以前经常野营
I swear, I have a million stories from camp.
我发誓我野营的故事有一百万个
A million.
一百万
So here's the first one.
第一个故事是这样的
One day when I was seven years old...
我七岁的时候有一天
I'll give you five bucks to hug Sondra.
你去抱抱桑德拉我给你五块钱
For the last time, she died of natural causes.
最后说一遍那老太太是自然死亡的