少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S03E11

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:34 p.m.

Okay, Emma, next question:
好艾玛下个问题
I need two words to describe your daddy.
用两个字来形容一下你老爸
Ha. Fun.
哈哈幽默
Well, you wouldn't be here if I wasn't, right?
要是我不幽默的话就没有你了对吧
Ben, I can't believe you signed up for match-making night.
本真不敢相信你竟然报名去参加相亲
Someone having trouble meeting girls?
你最近桃花有点衰吗
No.
不是
But if a computer's gonna
但是如果电脑
help me custom-build one, I say why not?
能帮我量身"定做"一个姑娘何乐而不为呢
It's a girl, not a burger.
你是找女朋友又不是买♥♥汉堡
One of my clients actually met her husband
其实我有个客户就是通过
through one of these match-making thingies...
这种相亲认识的她丈夫...
See? It does work. ...And then she tried to kill him.
看吧确实管用然后她想谋杀他来着
I believe the word you're glossing over is "Tried."
你的意思只是"想"而已对吧
No no no. Ben, you do not want to meet Gretchen Schilling.
不不不本你是不知道那个格雷琴·希林
Truly the scariest client I've ever had.
真的她是我见过的最恐怖的客户
Wait wait wait, Gretchen Schilling?
等等你说的是格雷琴·席林吗
Didn't you try to set me up with her?
你之前不是还想撮合我跟她吗
Yes, but that was before I was 100% sure she was guilty.
是但那时候我还不十分确定她是有罪的
Which is why I'm asking a computer
所以我才让电脑帮我配对
to set me up instead of you.
而不是去找你
In a few hours I'll be standing face-to-face
几小时后我就能面对面
with my dream girl.
见到我的梦中女孩了
13. 13 here.
13号♥是谁我是13号♥哦
Any takers?
有人吗
13?
你是13号♥吗
Is somebody looking for 13?
有人在找13号♥吗
Mom?
妈
**It's amazing how the unexpected*
*人生妙无边惊喜无极限
**can take your life and change directions.*
*劝君莫等闲雌雄随我愿
第三季第十一集
少男奶爸
How could this happen?
怎么会这样
How could someone so awesome end up with someone so...
我一个条件这么好的人怎么会给我配一个...
equally awesome? Uhhuh.
条件同样好的呢这还差不多
Don't think I'm excited to find out I can't do better
我也没想到竟然自己就配找个酒保
than a bartender whose mother still cleans his room.
房♥间都还是他老妈帮他收拾呢
I wore my lucky bra for this.
我都穿了自己的幸运小罩罩了好吗
If everyone else's matches were this awful,
如果其他人的配对也这么糟糕的话
there's gotta be a bunch of lonely lookers out there.
肯定有一大帮孤单寂寞的美女帅哥还在寻寻觅觅呢
Oh! There's a girl I could bring home to mom.
发现目标那个姑娘不错吧
Oh, Benji, so young, so innocent,
小本本啊真是好傻好天真啊
I can smell her marital boredom from here.
我在这里都能闻到她浑身一股婚后无聊的气息好吗
Plus her husband hit on me
再说了上周他丈夫
at the dry-cleaner's last week...
在干洗店还勾搭我来着...
Which may explain why she's here.
可能这也是她今天来这里的原因吧
What about that one? Oh God no.
那个怎么样一看就不行
The boobs, the hair, the nose-- all fake.
她的头发鼻子还有胸都是假的
The maintenance alone would break you.
光是维护费就会把你搞破产的
Wow. I didn't know you were so good at this.
原来你这么会看人啊
Oh, Ben, the things you don't know about me
本你不知道的还多着呢
could fill an adult bookstore.
加起来都能填满一家成人书店了
I can't believe I'm gonna ask you this,
我也不相信自己会这么问你
but... will you be my wingmom?
但是你可以做我的情场战友吗
Wait. For the first time in history,
什么破天荒头一回
a son actually wants his mother's opinion
竟然有儿子想征求他老妈的意见
on who to go out with?
让老妈帮他挑对象
Yeah, I do.
对的
I think I'm gonna cry.
我都快♥感♥动哭了
Almost there. Wait for it.
就快到了稍等
Tada! That is so cool!
看吧太帅了
The laundromat re-opened.
自助洗衣店重新开张了
So that means they never found out
也就是说他们永远都不会发现
who was responsible for the drier fire.
烘干机火灾到底是谁的责任了
Right? No no, not the laundromat
对吗不是不是自助干洗店
The car! Adele the Chevelle... Oh my God.
是这辆车雪佛兰阿黛尔天哪
...the only woman my dad truly loved.
我老爸唯一真爱过的女人
Wait, I thought your mom made him sell that car in the divorce.
我还以为你妈跟你♥爸♥离婚时让他把车卖♥♥了呢
Well, yeah, he said he'd do a lot of things that he didn't,
他说要做的事多着呢到头来还不是没做
like stay married to her and not hit on guys.
比如说不跟老妈离婚不去勾搭男人
Which reminds me-- do not tell my mom about this.
说到这儿我突然想起来千万别告诉我老妈
Wait. So what are you gonna do with it?
等等那你是想用这辆车干什么呢
And by "You," I mean "We."
我说的你是指我们
Well, he's finally coming to pick it up out of storage in a week,
我老爸终于想在一周后让这辆车重见天日了
so I said I'd make sure she's ready.
所以我跟他说我会保证车况良好
And how could I do that without a little test drive?
要保证车况良好不试开一下怎么知道呢
which will probably last a week.
可能会持续一整个星期
And I know where we are going first--
我知道咱们该先去哪里
the beach.
那就是海边
We're gonna take this hot rod to meet some hot bods.
这辆拉风老爷车一定能吸引不少妹子的视线
Yeah, but the beach is only the first stop.
没错但海边仅仅只是第一站
I've been waiting to drive this car my entire life.
我等着开这辆车已经等了一辈子了
My life just flashed before my eyes.
我的一辈子差点就玩完了
This is never happening again.
我再也不要开了
We only went around the block. -
我们只是在附近街区转了一圈而已
But that block was like a war zone,
但那个街区简直就跟战场一样
with 200 giant yellow tanks all aiming for Adele.
还有两百辆巨型黄色坦克在追赶着阿黛尔
I believe they're called taxis.
我想它们应该叫计程车
Yeah. Bro, you were going so slow,
哥们你开得实在太慢了
I bought a hot dog from the back seat.
我坐在后座都买♥♥到了个热狗
Just one mark on this car and my dad will disown me.
要是这车被刮花了一丝半点老爸非杀了我不可
You know what? I totally get it,
知道吗我完全明白
And I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with.
我也不会逼你做任何你不想做的事
So why don't you take Emma upstairs
不如你先带艾玛上楼
and we will make sure everything is spotless?
我们会帮你好好检查检查的
Yeah. Thanks, Tuck.
没错谢了塔克
Don't forget the keys. Oh, I won't.
别忘了钥匙不会的
Whoo. Okay.
好吧
Whoa. Hey, what are you doing?
你要干什么
I'm going to the beach.
当然是去海边了
I have to. I already updated my status.
我一定要去人家已经更新个性签名了好吗
Hey, I know that you boys have no morals or integrity,
我知道你们这群小子什么事都干得出
But I will not lie to Danny like that.
但我绝不会这样欺骗丹尼
All right? He's my best friend and we have a code.
他是我最好的朋友我们有相处守则
I'll let you drive on the way back.
回来的路上我可以让你开
Code broken. I'm in.
管它的什么守则我加入
I call this one "The Ben," because it's strong, smooth
我给这酒取名为"本" 因为它浓烈香醇
and might just get you in trouble.
随时会让你陷入其中
Okay, thanks for playing.
好了多谢你的参与
We'll see you next time on "Who wants to date my son?"
咱们下次"谁想与我儿子约会"节目再见
Okay, byebye. Mom, what are you doing?
慢走不送老妈你在干嘛
You're the one who told me to talk to her in the first place.
不是你叫我跟她搭讪的吗
Yeah, for practice...
没错用来练习
until I found you a good one,
在我帮你找到完美人选之前
which I just did... in the men's room.
而我刚刚发现了她... 在男洗手间里
And that's why you're my wingmom. Yeah.
真不愧是我的恋爱军师那当然
I never would've thought to look for a girl in the men's room.
我就没想过到男洗手间认识妹子
Uh-huh. Yeah, well, she's gonna be out here any minute,
那可不是她随时会出来
So stand up straight, fix your collar
挺胸收腹整整你的领带
and whatever you do...
不管做什么都好
don't be yourself.
千万别做你自己
Yeah, all clear.
我们安全了
Maybe if we don't say anything,
如果我们什么都不说的话
he won't notice.
说不定他根本不会发现
Really? Yeah, I think he's gonna notice
开玩笑吗难道他不会发现
that he's missing this.
这玩意不见了
But I mean, you never know.
不过那也说不准
maybe the giant scratch on the side of the door
说不定车门上那条巨型划痕
will distract him.
会分散他的注意力呢
You know, I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
真不敢相信我居然被你说服了这么做
Oh, you are not pinning this on me.
别想把这事赖我头上