美国重案（2015）

American Crime S01E09

Part 6 April 14, 2021, 11:54 a.m.

Matt was real rough with her.
几乎要把她胳膊拧下来
Practically wrung her arm off
跟她打到了卧室里
Flinging her back into the bedroom.
把她胳膊抓青了
Bruised her arms up.
我讨厌看见男人那样对女人
Mm, I hate seeing guys do women like that.
我自己就受够那样的事了
I've been on the bad end of enough of that.
所以我试图离开
So I tried to split.
但马特不让
Matt wouldn't let me.
他不让你走
He wouldn't let you leave?
对
No.
他拧着我的胳膊就跟拧她一样
He wrung my arm, just like he did with her.
我还手的时候他打了我
When I fought back, h-he punched me,
把我推倒开始扯我的衣服
Shoved me down, s-started tearing my clothes off.
感觉就像我哥哥和他的朋友
It was like my brother and his friends
又来伤害我了
attacking me all over again.
所以我用了唯一办法回击
So I fought back the only way I could.
那是什么办法
Which was how?
我冲他脸开了一枪
I shot him in the face.
我不想那么做的那是自卫
I didn't mean to do it. It was self-defense.
他老婆听见枪声
When his wife heard the shot,
从卧室跑出来看我
she came running out of the bedroom at me
手里拿着点东西
with something in her hands.
你知道是什么东西吗
Do you know what that was?
我只知道够大也够硬能杀掉我
All I knew was it was big and gnarly enough to kill me,
所以我...
so I...
也朝她开了枪
I shot her, too.
之后我跑了
Then I split.
拿着枪丢进了默瑟得河
Took the gun, threw in in the Merced River.
你们在那里找到它的那周围对吗
That's where you found it -- somewhere around there, right?
之后我去了酒吧要了瓶啤酒
Went to a liquor store, got a pbr.
他们可能有我的录像或什么
They probably got a video of me or something.
-你好 -怎么
- Hey. - what?
我能进来一下吗
Uh, can I come in for a minute?
我知道这事会怎么发展
You know where this goes.
就一分钟
Just for a minute.
我在马特家发现一些照片
I found some photos at Matt's house
想给你看看
I want to show you.
感觉像再看别人的家庭
It's like looking at pictures of somebody else's family.
回忆也不全是糟的
It wasn't all bad.
是的
No.
我戒赌的12步里
Part of my 12-step for my gambling addiction
有一步是承认自己犯的错误
was to admit fault for the mistakes I made.
-好吧 -你能接受吗
- Okay. - Can you ever accept that?
我都不理解
I can't even understand it.
是你让我开始赌博的
You're the one that started me gambling.
我第一次赌博是跟你一起
F-first time I ever gambled with you --
在拉斯维加斯加州旅馆玩视频扑克
quarters at video poker at the California Hotel in Vegas.
是的
Yes.
所以因为那个就是我让你上瘾的
And from that dollar, I got you addicted.
不我跟你一起在那儿坐了一夜
No. Well, I-I was sitting there with you all night.
你可以拿20块钱赌8个小时
You could take $20 and turn it into eight hours of gambling.
那只是为开心一下
It was just meant to be fun.
你赢的时候总是很开心的
It's always fun when you're winning.
你根本不知道怎么骗过机器
You never understood how to play the machines.
你得随机抽签
You'd get these random draws,
你得永远握着最大的边牌
and you'd always hold the kicker.
你不能玩双倍奖金
You can't play a double-double bonus
学百搭二王的规则
like it was a deuces wild.
那才是我爱的芭布
That's the Barb I love.
玩视频扑克整夜战斗
Video poker and an all-night buffet --
她只需要那些
That's all she needed.
我们本可以很开心的
Oh, we could have had fun.
但你赌得太贪了
But you got greedy with your gambling.
-不是贪 -不你贪
- Not greedy. - Yeah, you were greedy.
你永远想赢
You wanted to win all the time.
赌瘾不是那样的
That's not how gambling addiction works.
跟钱无关
It's not about the money.
你输了很多还偷了很多
You lost enough of it. You stole enough.
我去桌前了忘掉视频扑克吧
You know, I'm at the tables -- forget video poker.
我坐在桌前庄家一副大牌在手的样子
I'm at the tables and the dealer's got an ace showing.
你要像他脸在洞里那样玩牌
You're supposed to play like he's got a face in the hole.
我就是知道我能打爆他
I just know I can bust him
或者看着他转一张7
or watch him turn a 7,
或者换张3来比我拿着的一对8
then draw a 3 on the crap pair of 8s I'm holding
就可以赢牌收钱了
and collect.
我坐在那儿桌面上放着钱
I'm sitting there, money on the felt,
我知道我能做到就像轮盘赌那样
and I know I can do it -- same with roulette.
其他的笨蛋都把钱散着投
Every other sucker's placing wide,
我赌活动数
I lay the action numbers.
我可以让球落在赢的地方
And I can make the ball land winner.
让它落进去
Make it land.
他们滑进我选的数里
Now they're sliding over my chips.
赢10块还是100万都不重要
Don't matter if it's $10 or $10 million.
我做到了
I did that.
宇宙几率
The universe, the odds,
一切都说它不肯能实现
everything that said it couldn't happen --
但我让它实现了
I made it happen.
控制感
Control.
没长处的莱斯·斯柯奇有宇宙所有的力量
No-good Russ Skokie has all the power in the universe
让球落今黑3
to make the ball drop black 13.
戒断前就是那样的感觉
And I felt that way before I got sober.
你不能控制宇宙
You can't control the universe.
你连这里发生的事情都控制不了
You can't even control what's going on here.
马特需要你你却不在
Matt needed you, and you weren't here.
我得忍♥受那些
And I have to live with that.
我们都得忍♥受我们自己做下的事
We all have to live with the things we've done.
我们得忍♥ 芭布
We got to live, Barb.
我很感激你为马特和马克做的一切
I'm grateful for all you did for Matt and Mark.
我知道那不容易
I know it wasn't easy --
你做了那么多艰难的决定
all the tough choices you had to make.
无论那两个孩子得到了什么好东西
But whatever good things the boys had,
都是你给的
they had because of you.
记得那点
Remember that.