辛普森一家

The Simpsons S35E15

Part 3 May 14, 2024, 10:19 a.m.

Larry's ashes were full of them.
怎么来的
What gives?
肯定是火化的时候
Larry must have had these Smurf-stones
拉里把这些蓝东西塞勾子里了
crammed up his wazoo when they crematized him.
肯定是他从北边塞
He must have been moving stolen gems
然后偷偷运到南边的
across the northern border by stuffing them up
小宝石
his southern pass.
不懂但是拉里没了咱肯定暴富了
All I knows is Larry is dead, and we are rich.
天哪是啊
Oh, my God, you're right.
走去告诉莱尼和卡尔
We gotta tell Lenny and Carl.
等会借一步说话
Uh, uh, real quick sidebar.
我们真的要用这种
Um, do we really want to bother
突发宝石状况
our gentlemen friends
来叨扰我们的绅士朋友吗
with this here, uh, gemological situation?
有何不可 - 哦我单纯善良的朋友
Why wouldn't we? - Aw, bless your heart.
不管这些小东西价值几何
But whatever money these corpse jewels yield,
想把它们分四份就是我们犯蠢了
we'd be crazy to split it four ways.
你看咱俩比他俩
Look, you and me need this money
可更需要这些钱呢是吧
way more than Lenny and Carl, all right?
你有一个吞金兽老婆
You got an expensive trophy wife
还有八百个小孩
and, like, a thousand crazy kids.
而我有一个穷的发霉的
And all I got is a crummy bar
破烂酒吧
full of toxic black mold.
啥
What?
我可能确实有挺多资金负担的
I guess I do have a lot of financial burdens.
喂开门
Hey, open up.
记录牙龈深度时间
I gotta record my gum depth.
二二二三二
Two, two, two, three, two...
来吧准备开始撒谎
Okay, getting ready to lie to our friends.
预备展示
And... showtime!
早安我亲爱的卡尔森
Good morning,dearest Carlton.
我知道你们密谋什么呢
I know what's going on in here.
我 - 呃
I, um... - Uh, uh...
你俩提前起床
You guys were getting up early
要去偷吃免费的欧式早餐
to use the two free continental breakfast vouchers
不想带我俩
without us.
没门我们要去了我们和拉里
Well, we're using 'em. Me and Larry.
没事还有机会
Don't worry, we'll get our chance.
等会这不是去大瀑布的路
Wait a sec, this ain't the road to the Falls.
我走的是观光路线
Yeah, I took the scenic route.
我想拉里会想看到这些野花的
I thought Larry would appreciate seeing those wildflowers.
猜猜是谁种的约翰逊夫人
Guess who planted those. Lady Bird Johnson.
怎么回事莱尼
What the hell, Lenny?
你知道我得回去
You know I gotta get back to save my lady
救我夫人于沉迷库尔邦之中
from the clutches of Kool and the Gang.
我以为你不担心呢
I thought you weren't worried.
废话我当然担心了
Of course I'm worried.
他们可是赢了2014年度灵魂列车音乐传奇奖
They won the 2014 Soul Train Music Legend award.
快点回主路
Now let's get back on the highway.
给我
Give it!
对不起卡尔我会回主路的
I'm sorry, Carl. I'll get back on the highway.
没关系按你的来吧
No. You go however you want.
我们应该顺拉里的意
Let's do right by Larry.
拉里
Larry!
我们的秘密宝石
Our secret gems!
你们啥也没看见啊
Nothing to see here, huh?
只是一些拉里的水晶残骸
Just, uh, crystalized Larry chunks.
宝石宝石宝石宝石
Gems. Gems, gems, gems.
宝石宝石宝石珍贵的宝石
Gems. Gems, gems. Precious gems.
拉里骨灰罐里有蓝宝石
There were sapphires in Larry's urn?
你们早就知道
And you knew?
听我解释你看啊
Look, guys, we can explain. You see...
侯默说服我去骗过你们
Homer talked me into screwing youse over
以便我们能独吞宝石怎么着
so we could keep them gems all for ourselves, all right?
什么 -你这个骗子
What? - You liar!
举起手来
Hands up.
离骨灰瓮远点
Back away from the urn.
你们都违反了
Y'all are under arrest for violating
美国商业法规第545条
section 545 of the U.S. Commerce code:
即宝石走私因而被捕
jewel smuggling.
所有人都进前箱里
Y'all get in the frunk.
"前面的后备箱" 简称"前箱"
Oh, "Front trunk." Frunk.
现在我明白了
Now I get it.
我可不想为你俩走私宝石
I'm not going to jail
把我送进去坐牢
'cause you two were gem smuggling.
比那更糟蠢货
It's worse than that, dummy.
侯默和老谋子根本就没打算告诉我们
Homer and Moe weren't gonna tell us about
他们找到的蓝宝石放在拉里骨灰中
the sapphires they found in the Larry crumbs.
我本想说的但侯默威胁说
I wanted to tell you, but Homer threatened
要烧了我的酒吧
to set my bar on fire.
什么是你说要我对宝石保密
What? You told me to keep the gems a secret,
听你的话纯粹因为我这人广纳贤言
and I only listened to you because I'm highly suggestable.
你才不是 -你说得对我不是
No, you're not. - You're right, I'm not.
谁会在意我只知道我们成了
Who cares? All I know is we were the victims
超级砸锅事件受害人
of an A-1 screw job.
这是你们办的最砸的一件事
This is the worst thing you guys have ever done.
是吗卡尔你呢
Oh. Yeah, Carl? Well, what about when you
你明明赢了老埃尔帕索一年的塔可套餐
won a year's supply of Old El Paso taco kits,
却从来没邀请过我
and never invited me over?
那比赛你赢了吗
You won that contest?
那首塔可诗是我写的
I wrote the taco poem.
肯定是你冒充自己作品交了
You must have submitted it as yours.
也许我就是听够了你的声音
Maybe I just got tired of hearing your voice
听着像得了鼻窦炎的鸭子一样
that sounds like a duck with a sinus infection.
"盒装酱汁和五只碎壳"
"The box contains seasoning and five broken shells.
"你和家人买♥♥了全部除了这只盒老埃尔帕索"
You and your family buy everything else. Old El Paso."
他听着真的像只鸭子
He does sound like a duck.
这下我想听不出来都不行了
Now I'll never not hear it.
你明知道我一直喜欢碎壳
You knew broken shells are my thing.
我们清醒时候就这样吗
Is this what we're like when we're... sober?
我们一点也不像欲望都市的婆娘们
We're nothing like the Sex and the City broads.
不在酒吧时能把我们聚在一起的还有什么
You take us out of that bar, and what's holding us together?
什么都没有
Nothing.
而拉里这辈子最想做的
And to think all Larry wanted out of life
就是成为这朋友圈的一员
was to be part of this friend group.
这个死鬼是多么的愚蠢
What a dumb dead chump.
老板我找到那几个
Hey, boss, I found the idiots
拿了拉里最后运送那批货的白♥痴♥们了
who took Larry's last haul.
他们就是一群互相讨厌的窝囊废
They're just a bunch of losers that hate each other.
都处理好了
It's all taken care of.
干的漂亮米奇·后顾无忧
Excellent work, Mickey No-Loose-Ends.
你想怎么处理他们
So what you want me to do with them?
让他们走吧
Mm, let them go.
他们一无所知
They know nothing.
明白后顾无忧
Got it. No loose ends.
下次再雇这些人
Ugh, I gotta pay more attention to the nicknames
我要注意他们的绰号♥
when I hire these guys.
现在你能帮忙去机场接康妮吗
Now, can you go pick up Connie at the airport,
布鲁诺·绿帽哥
Bruno Wife-Banger?
乐意效劳
Hey, with pleasure.
后顾无忧
No loose ends.
那疯子不是警长他是个疯子
This psycho ain't a sheriff. He's a psycho!
我们就是他的后顾之忧
Oh, and we're his loose ends.
我们都死定了
We're all gonna die.
别真是被莱尼说中了我们都要变灵魂了
Oh, what if Lenny's right, and we're all gonna be ghosts?
要是老谋子说中了纯就是序曲
What if Moe is right, and it's just a void?
根本什么也理解不了
Incomprehensible nothing.
我可受不了变成那样
I don't think I could handle that.
不不不我现在觉得侯默说的天堂很有道理
No, no, no, Homer's heaven makes sense to me now.
上帝我忏悔我做过的所有事
Hey, Lord, I repent everything I ever done.
仅限祂知道的部分