辛普森一家
The Simpsons S35E09
Part 2
March 18, 2024, 8:42 p.m.
No one murders a doll on my ship. To the brig.
我发誓 我没有弄坏那个手办
I swear, I didn't kill that doll.
别再撒谎了 儿子
Stop lying, boy.
不敢相信你毁了我的梦幻邮轮之旅
I can't believe you ruined my dream cruise.
你明明讨厌这次旅行
You hate this cruise.
不是 我是讨厌主题和船上的人
No, I hate the theme and the people and the boat.
但我喜欢食物
But I love the food.
辛普森夫妇
Mr. And Mrs. Simpson,
儿子被关在小邮轮监狱里你们心里一定不好受
I know it's hard for you to see your son in this tiny cruise ship jail.
是啊
It is.
你们别担心
Well, don't you worry.
明天他将被带上岸 关进成人监狱
Tomorrow he'll be taken ashore and locked in a full adult prison.
别啊 -那里条件很便利
No! - But with all the amenities...
好吧
Okay.
便利条件是指臭名昭著的监狱团伙
The amenities are a notorious prison gang.
他们特别讨厌小孩
They really hate children.
不要啊
No! No!
丽莎 我知道情况很糟 但我真的害怕了
Lis, I know it looks bad, but I'm really scared.
我发誓 不是我♥干♥的
I swear I didn't do it.
我说不准
I don't know.
你弄掉了我的很多手办头
You've beheaded many of my dolls,
从马里布·斯黛西到火岛弗兰克
from Malibu Stacy to Fire Island Frank.
那都是你的手办 不值钱的
Oh, those aren't valuable. They're yours.
巴仔 你之前对我撒过很多次慌
Bart, you've lied to me so many times before,
我该怎么相信你
how could I ever believe you?
好吧 但这次我说的是真话
Okay, but this time I'm telling the truth,
为证明这一点 我打算承认我过去所有的谎言
and to prove it, I'm gonna own up to all my past lies.
狗把你的萨克斯管埋在花♥园♥里的那次
That time when the dog buried your saxophone in the garden,
它得到了一些帮助
he had some help.
你生日那天 马拉拉给你打电♥话♥让你吃柠檬
When Malala called you on your birthday to tell you to suck lemons,
其实是我打的
that was me.
你醒来发现自己躺在装满蒜结面包的浴缸那次
That time you woke up in a bathtub full of garlic knots...
够了 我明白了 你是个烂人
I get it, I get it. You're terrible.
好吧 我觉得这句话我只会说一次
Okay, I figure I only get one time to say,
"丽莎 无论如何你得相信我"
"Lis, you gotta believe me no matter what."
我现在亮出了底牌
Right now, I am playing that card.
我没有毁掉辐射侠
I did not destroy that doll.
天啊 我相信你
Oh, my God. I believe you.
这小孩应该付出代价 以头还头
永远关押 巴仔对我有辐射 处刑
唯一能证明巴仔清白的办法
The only way to clear Bart's name
就是找出真凶
is to figure out who really did it.
但我势单力薄 我需要帮助
But I can't do it all by myself. I need help.
我来帮你
I'll help you.
等下 我重新出场
No, hang on, let me try that again.
我来帮你 就这个味
I'll help you! Nailed it.
塔伊加·维迪 真的吗
Taika Waititi? Seriously?
著名的新西兰导演 编剧 演员和制片人
执导过《雷神索尔3：诸神黄昏》等知名电影
你会帮我为我哥洗脱冤屈吗
You'll help me exonerate my brother?
当然了 为什么呢 告诉你吧
Of course. Why? I'll tell you.
因为我精神有点问题
Because I have a medical condition
必须一心多用 不然会死
where I have to be multitasking at all times.
我哥哥肯定不是这艘船上
Well, my brother can't be the only person on this ship
唯一讨厌漫画男的人
who hated Comic Book Guy.
所以这艘船上的每一个乘客
So, I guess we'll just have to question
都脱不开嫌疑
every passenger on the manifest.
我们可以从塔导的粉丝开始调查
Why don't we start with fans of the Taika-verse?
哎呦 那不就是所有人嘛
Whoops, that's everyone.
冲
Let's go.
我讨厌漫画男 更讨厌那个手办
I hate Comic Book Guy and I hated that doll
因为那个手办本来是我的
because it originally belonged to me.
断舍离
辐射侠
可动手办
嗨 你好 我想买♥♥你们这个
Hi. Excuse me, but I will take this, uh,
一点没价值 卖♥♥不了几个钱的垃圾
non-priceless, completely valueless garbage
11刀 出吗
off of your hands for, uh, $11.
但是 老爸 我觉得它值更多钱
But, Dad, I think it might be worth a lot more.
谁在乎啊 苗浩斯
Who cares, Milhouse?
这可是一顿赛百味双人餐加小食曲奇
This is two $5 footlongs and a weird cookie.
孩子妈 结婚纪念日晚餐有着落了 宝贝
Hey, Luann, anniversary dinner is back on, baby.
我没有弄坏那个手办
I didn't destroy that action figure,
但我确实有动机
but I sure had a motive.
充足的动机
A clear motive.
我不知道审问我有什么用
I don't know why you're interrogating me.
我和漫画男没有任何接触
I have no bone to grind with that comic book chap.
真的吗 听说他最近买♥♥了一批水军
Really? Even after Comic Book Guy led an online troll army
在网上给你写差评 让你没法参演这部电影
to demand you be fired and replaced in this?
《疯狂麦克斯》制片团队倾力打造
From the producers of Mad Max comes a vision
一场黑暗暴♥力♥和怪咖云集的视觉盛宴
so dark, so violent and so wacky.
戏子梅尔
Sideshow Mel.
把他们都杀了 不然我就不叫迪克·达斯德利
We'll kill them all, or my name isn't Dick Dastardly.
1968卡♥通♥《怪车大赛》中的反派
甜茶饰演狗狗玛蒂
And Timothée Chalamet as Muttley.
《怪车大赛》之毛茸茸公路
我诅咒那个漫画恶魔男
Curse that funny-book fiend.
他动员了制片团队
He mobilized both the Hanna-Barbarians
和怪车系列的粉丝们针对我
and the Wack-olytes against me
用一个投票推送彻底把我毁了
in a devastating online petition.
不要让戏子梅尔玷污《怪车大赛》
获得一亿六千万票
保护濒危的珊瑚礁
获得四十九票
首先 预告片效果真不错
First of all, that looks so good,
我在想这片为什么不是由我导演
I'm surprised I didn't direct it.
还是我导过了啊 十月过的迷迷糊糊
Did I? October was crazy.
但是梅尔 你对漫画男这份
But Mel, would your bone-trembling anger
刻骨的憎恨
lead you to destroy
真的会促使你摧毁他价值连城的手办吗
Comic Book Guy's most prized possession?
会的 但我并没有
It would! But it didn't.
但我本可以 如果是我做的
But it could! And if I did,
我现在会对你们撒谎
I would lie about it to you now!
但我没有 但我会的
But I'm not. But I would!
为什么要浪费时间在我身上
Why are you wasting your time with me?
我爱我那油腻的胖老公
I love my greasy snowman husband
也爱他正在经历的这场手办悲剧
and his tragic blooper of an action figure.
监控录像的说法可不太一样
We have security footage that says differently.
慢放
是真的 我太讨厌那个破塑料玩意了
It's true, I hated that injection-molded monstrosity.
我第一次遇见漫画男时
When I first met Comic Book Guy,
我才是他无价的宝贝
I was his priceless collectible.
但是现在 就连做♥爱♥的时候
But now, when we make love,
他都会喊那手办的出厂序列号♥
my husband calls out the doll's serial number.
我只是想要那个可爱贴心的漫画男回到我身边
I just want back my sweet comic book gaijin.
破坏手办的嫌疑乘客太多了
So many passengers could have committed doll-icide.
嫌疑人 动机
苗浩斯 被漫画男敲过竹杠
戏子鲍勃 被漫画男毁掉事业
久美子 嫉妒漫画男的手办
迪斯科司徒 痛恨漫画男
奥拓 被漫画男偷走大♥麻♥二酚
内德·弗兰德斯 被漫画男嘲讽过其偶像
丘墨士 被漫画男替享大餐
大黄蜂人 痛恨漫画男物
可怜的巴仔 但是天呢
Poor Bart. Ah, but geez,
看他留下的一片狼藉
look at the mess he left in our cabin.
老 天 爷
Oh, dear God.
我不觉得是巴仔做的
I didn't think Bart did it
但是我在他的狼藉里
but then I found this radioactive head
发现了辐射侠首级
from the decapitated doll in Bart's stuff.
他当时看着我的眼睛
He looked me right in the eyes
说不是他
and said he didn't do it.
我再也不能相信他了
I can never trust him again.
宝贝
Oh, sweetie,
你在接受人生最难接受的事
you've just learned one of life's hardest lessons.
经常地 不论你多爱这个人
Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone,
他都会让你失望
they're just going to let you down.
对你妈妈来说 那个人就是我
For your mother, it's me.
睡吧 宝贝
Just try to get some sleep, honey.
明早巴仔还是会一样有罪
Bart will still be horribly guilty in the morning.
雷尼尔.沃卡索
Rainer Wolfcastle?
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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