辛普森一家

The Simpsons S35E04

Part 2 March 18, 2024, 8:42 p.m.

卡尔·卡尔森大脑转储魔术师
Carl Carlson, braindump magician.
莱尼·莱昂纳德讲故事的忍♥者
Lenny Leonard, storytelling ninja.
侯默·辛普森失利摇滚明星
Homer Simpson, "Compet-ticy" Rockstar.
你是想说实力吗
Competency?
你说啥
Say it again.
如果有人能改变伯恩斯
If anyone can transform Burns,
宙斯之女被冥王劫持娶作冥后
那真是创造了像珀耳塞福涅一样的神话
it's a visionary like Persephone.
就像如果你在救生艇公♥司♥工作
Like, if you work at Lifeboat, you have to use
你得用这种金属吸管
these metal drinking straws.
每次用完清洗真是太方便了
It's so easy to clean after every use.
等一下
I'm just...
为什么会打弯啊
Why does it have to bend?
*这是我的战斗之歌♥*
* This is my fight song *
*掌控我的生活之歌♥*
* Take back my life song *
*证明我正确之歌♥*
* Prove I'm all right song *
*让我火力全开之歌♥*
* My power's turned on *
救生艇公♥司♥会员们
My fellow Lifeboaters!
很高兴跟大家一起踏上这段旅程
I'm so excited to have you on this journey with me.
想象一个有无尽饮用水供用的世界
Imagine a world with an endless supply of drinkable water.
一个酒店毛巾被用一次
A world where every hotel towel can be used once
就可以丢在地上的世界
and then dropped on the floor.
伯恩斯已经改变很多了
Oh, there are a lot of changes.
跟以前核电站不同
Unlike when this was a nuclear plant,
现在警戒特别严
security's super tight now,
我们必须签署严格的保密协议
and we have to sign stringent NDAs.
而我并不擅长保守秘密
And I am bad at keeping secrets.
就像我不该说出莱尼对他的
Like how I'm not supposed to talk about Lenny's crush
意大利家教老师有意思 -侯默
on his Italian tutor. - Homer.
我杀了你
Ti ammazzo.
你这个蠢货
Cretino.
救生艇公♥司♥数据很好看
Lifeboat was soaring,
但没人能预料到这家公♥司♥
but no one could've predicted what shocking turn
将会发生怎样的惊人事件
was in store for the company.
现在是在拍那种
Um, is this one of those documentaries
我不该看镜头的纪录片吗
where I'm not supposed to look at the camera?
还是就像《办公室》那样得一直看着镜头
Or is it like The Office, where I always look at it
然后做个大动作观众就知道
and do a big take so the audience knows
该笑了
when to laugh?
无论富裕还是富有无论富足还是富饶
In richness and wealth, for richer and richer,
我现在宣布你们结为夫妻
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
满船清梦压星河
救生艇公♥司♥的故事
第二章
波瑟芬和老蒙
我还在掐自己
I'm still pinching myself.
我竟然嫁给了蒙哥马利·伯恩斯
I'm married to Montgomery Burns.
核电业界传奇
Nuclear industry legend.
一个只对男性开放的权贵俱乐部
在波西米亚精英帮会上大受欢迎
Chief s'more toaster at the Bohemian Grove.
第一个没有血型的男人
The first man with no blood type.
想象每天早上醒来
What a joy to wake up in the morning,
在枕头上转过头去
turn my head on the pillow
透过我的高压氧舱玻璃
and see her bedroom door through the glass
看着她的卧室门
of my hyperbaric chamber.
很快波瑟芬妮和伯恩斯成了核电界新潮情侣
Soon, Persephone and Burns were the new it power couple.
《福布斯》
一位100岁以下一位100岁以上
《纽约邮报》
摇篮嫁给了坟墓
《任天堂力量》
超级夫妇
媒体永远拍不够这对情侣的
And the press couldn't get enough of this may...
极限浪漫
last-minute-of-December romance.
看着这样一位意气风发的年轻女性
It's so refreshing to see a young person
把蒙哥马利·伯恩斯视作荣耀
with the world at her feet
真让人♥大♥开眼界
who also sees the glory that is Montgomery Burns.
波瑟芬妮该开♥发♥她
Now it was up to Persephone
神奇的海水淡化机的
to create a working prototype of
样品了
her amazing desalination technology.
你们面前放着
The water in front of you comes from
救生艇公♥司♥海水淡化机
the functional prototype of
产出的试饮用水
the Lifeboat desalination machine.
大家请举杯
So everyone please raise a glass
亲自体验这一历史性的时刻
to milestone this history-defining moment.
哦不现在还喝不了
Oh, no, you can't drink it now. No.
潜在竞争对手可能会从你们的尿液中
Our competitors could steal the proprietary aquatech
窃取我们的净化技术
in your urine.
为防止我们专利的蒸发雾技术
And just in case any of our patented evaporated mist
进入你们的膀胱
made it into your bladders,
我们为大家安排了导尿手术
we've arranged to have you all catheterized.
救生艇公♥司♥只是在遵循科技行业的一贯操作
So Lifeboat was just following the tech industry playbook:
卡拉·斯威舍
硅谷记者
先画饼再化缘
Fake it till you make it.
我称之为"打幌子混上市"
Or as I call it, "Lie-po until you ipo."
但员工们已经开始梦想赚大钱了
But the employees were already dreaming of cashing out.
技术工种的薪水不要太高哦
Tech salaries are the greatest.
这周我给了马姬200份股票期权
This week, I gave Marge 200 stock options
用来买♥♥菜
to go grocery shopping.
根本花不了
It didn't work at all.
我还得把购物车里的东西都摆回去
I had to put all the food back on the shelves.
与此同时新晋的科技工作者们
Meanwhile, the newly minted tech workers
正在适应一种截然不同的企业文化
were adapting to a much different corporate culture.
新公♥司♥的同事们都神秘兮兮的
At the new company, people were so secretive
他们居然把锁屏密♥码♥的便利贴
they actually moved the post-it notes with their passwords
全部从显示器上撕掉了
off their monitor.
每天都有人被裁员
Workers were getting fired every day.
纹身属于公♥司♥的知识产权
That tattoo is the intellectual property of the company.
出口
整个公♥司♥闹得人心惶惶
The whole company got so paranoid.
因为侯默签了一堆保密协议
Because of those NDAs he signed,
他回家了都不能分享今天过得如何
Homer couldn't even tell me how his day was.
我无法承认或否认我过了一天
I can neither confirm nor deny I had a day.
奇怪的是他们不允许我
Well, it was strange they wouldn't let me
看一眼杯子的内部构造但我的职位
look inside the machines, since my title was
是机器内部技术主管
chief engineer of inside the machine.
每当有记者来采访
And whenever a reporter came by,
他们就像试图要掩盖什么似的
it seemed like they were trying to cover something up.
专利机密
好吧怎么也比为扎克伯格打工好
Well, still better than working for Zuckerberg!
他们在隐瞒着什么这让我很害怕
They were hiding something, and it was really freaking me out.
所以我给波瑟芬妮发了邮件
So I emailed Persephone.
结果第二天卡尔就被裁了
And the next day, Carl was gone.
卡尔·卡尔森
无名氏
卡尔的米粉
不许碰
尽管救生艇公♥司♥有很大的问题
Despite the red flags flying from this Lifeboat,
用杯子大小的机器改变世界
波瑟芬妮对抗全世界海水
水牛城新闻报
"可饮用"任务
波瑟芬妮·奥达伊尔离不开这几样东西
《财富杂♥志♥》这位首席执行官积攒了数百万
《高层办公室》“顿悟”时刻 Water2.0 海滩鞋独角兽骑行
他们还是招募了不少信徒
there continued to be believers.
波瑟芬妮是我的偶像
Persephone dominates my vision board.
她是嫁给了伯恩斯先生没错
Sure, she married Mr. Burns,
但她是首席执行官掌握着实权
but as CEO, a woman had all the power.
《当代猎狗》
所以网上的喷子才会急
That's what made the Internet trolls so mad.
所有这些负面的帖子
All the online negativity stirred up
波瑟芬妮是大骗子
首席执行官她不行
是董事会不是女人茶话会
看波瑟芬妮作死
激起了一位巨魔指尖上的愤怒
the finger-tempted anger of a different kind of troll.
救生艇的股价be like
*这是我的战斗之歌♥*
* This is my fight song *
波瑟芬妮盛会
生日快乐波瑟芬妮
*掌控我的生活之歌♥*
* Take back my life song... *
我想给我的妻子哇妻子
I wanted to give my wife... wow, wife,
还没习惯这么叫
still getting used to saying that...
一份特别的生日小礼物
a little something special for her birthday.
推特礼品卡
A Twitter gift card?
不我给你买♥♥下了推特