辛普森一家
The Simpsons S35E10
Part 2
March 18, 2024, 8:42 p.m.
简妮申请的夏令营都回复了 甚至那些难的
Janey got responses from all her camps, even her reaches.
她论文写了她祖母的移♥民♥经历
Her essay was about her grandmother's immigrant story.
她祖母是渥太华人
She came from Ottawa.
这也算移♥民♥
That's barely an immigrant.
稍后将举♥行♥利雅得利夫匹克球巡回赛
Coming up later, the LIV Pickleball Tour from Riyadh,
沙漠高约43摄氏度 比赛局势如火如荼
where it's 110 degrees in the desert and the action's heating up.
现在进行的是打水漂比赛
But now it's time for competitive rock skipping!
春田打水漂比赛
他们确实在寻找新的体育项目上
They are really scraping the bottom of the barrel
费尽心思了
for new sports content.
是啊 接下来就是刮桶底比赛
Yeah, and barrel scraping is up next.
西雅图木桶剃刀
春田打水漂比赛
戈迪牌投石手套 一万名暴徒的选择
走来的是去年的冠军
Here we have last year's champion,
克里塔斯·斯帕科勒 他正靠近河边
Cletus Spuckler, taking the shore.
电视机前的观众会注意到
Home viewers will notice
他脚上的对号♥不是穿了耐克鞋
that's not the famous Nike swoosh on his shoes
而是光脚吸着水蛭
but, rather, leeches on his bare feet.
要投了
Here comes the skip.
排名 第一 22次 克里塔斯·斯帕科勒
第二 16次 肖娜·丘墨士
第三 14次 吉尔·冈德森
跳了22次
22 skips!
堪比已故的伟大的大♥麻♥·安德森
That's a throw worthy of the late, great Doink Anderson!
有趣的事实是 他没给遗孀留下任何遗产
Interesting fact... he left his widow nothing.
接下来上场的是 侯默·辛普森
Next up, Homer Simpson,
新手 但用的是专业人士的装备
a first-timer but using the same equipment as these pros,
地上捡的扁平石头
a flat rock he found on the ground.
排名
第一 46次 侯默·辛普森
46次
46 skips.
几乎让我觉得搭车来这里是值得的
This almost makes my hitchhiking here worth it.
春田镇银行
一百美元
享受作弊的快乐吧
This, this is what we do it for. The cheater's high.
你能感受到在血液中欺骗的脉动
You can feel the scam pulsing in your blood,
就好像吸食乐透刮刮乐的灰尘
like snorting lotto scratcher dust
或者像被选为"汉堡星球之王"一样
or being elected king of Hamburger Planet!
爸爸 以前我作弊的时候...
You know, Dad, all the times I cheated on stuff before...
学校考试 新冠病毒测试...
school tests, COVID tests...
我都会觉得有点内疚
I always felt kind of bad about it,
但跟你作弊感觉是对的
but cheating with you feels so right.
我们能再搞一次不
Can we do it one more time?
儿子 我们不会停下的
Son, we're never gonna stop doing it.
玉米洞比赛
cornhub赞助
*该作弊了 宝贝*
* Come on, let's get our cheat on, baby *
*遵守规则多累啊*
* No need to follow rules, we're lazy *
冠军 侯默·辛普森
戈迪牌玉米洞手套
时尚与体育相遇
*用雪碧装满水杯*
* Order water but fill your cup with Sprite *
*说自己是军人 优先登机*
* Say you're in the Army to preboard your flight *
飞盘高尔夫比赛
*伪造公♥司♥推特卖♥♥空股票*
* Fake a corporate tweet to sell a stock short *
*带着猪上班 作为安抚动物*
* Take your pig to work as emotional support *
*两人的阴谋团队*
* We're a two-man scheming crew *
*欺骗让父子感情升温*
* Cheating's our father-son glue *
*老实说 我们从没合得来过*
* Honestly, with honesty, we never got along *
扑克比赛
*成长路上我没教你好*
* I raised you right by teaching you wrong *
*开医院证明拖延大学考试*
* Get a doctor's note for more time on the SAT *
臀部震动器
直肠信使
*用ChatGPT写你的学期论文*
* Write your term paper with ChatGPT *
男士选 女士选
*输掉选举就说它不公平*
* Lose an election and call it unfair *
扇巴掌比赛
*靠租来的轮椅不排过山车的队*
* Cut the roller coaster line with a rented wheelchair *
最后一扇
*把你当做我的作弊灵魂兄弟*
* I reckon you're my cheating soul brother *
*一切都作弊*
* Cheat on anything *
*唯独不骗你*
* But never each other *
*唯独不骗你*
* But never each other *
巴仔 我终于明白为何有些人故意要当爸爸
Bart, I finally get why some dudes become dads on purpose.
这是我这辈子过的最棒的一周
This has been the best week of my life.
我也是
Me, too!
而且我的人生不像你的那样无聊
And my life's not a barf-nado like yours.
你不觉得有点奇怪吗
Do you think it's a little strange
你♥爸♥爸怎么突然赢了这么多比赛
that your dad is suddenly winning all these contests
获得这么多大奖
and giant prizes?
我也注意到了
Yeah, I've noticed the same thing.
我猜我就是假设美国的体育运动
I guess I just assumed that sports in America
越来越简单了吧 -亲爱的
were getting much, much easier. - Hey, honey.
你想要这套女士吉利服吗
Do you want this ladies' ghillie suit I won
是我在吐烟圈比赛上赢来的
at the tobacco-spitting competition?
侯默 我们得谈谈
Homer, we need to talk.
我喜欢跟你说话
Oh, I like when we talk.
但不喜欢"得谈谈"的时刻
I don't like when we need to talk.
你最近可真是赢了不少
You're sure winning a lot of activities
以前从未试过的比赛
you've never even tried before.
抱歉我问这种问题 但是
I'm sorry to ask this, but...
你在作弊吗
are you cheating?
扑克比赛
重量级选手
我不能跟你说谎
Oh, I can't lie to you.
等等 那是个谎话
Wait, that's a lie.
我可以说谎 也确实说过 但这次我不会
I can lie and I have, but I'm not going to now.
我有作弊 但不是为了奖品和荣誉
I am cheating, but not for prizes or glory.
我跟巴仔以团队身份在作弊
Me and Bart are cheating together as a team.
这是父子感情维系的一种方式
It's our father-son thing.
你不能跟巴仔做点别的吗
Can't you do something else with Bart,
比如给他的足球队当教练
like coach his soccer team?
足球 你是说贿赂裁判吗
Soccer? You mean bribing refs?
这有什么难度呢
Where's the challenge?
这种程度的作弊
That's not the kind of cheating
不能让父子关系更亲密
that brings a dad and his son closer.
我们有特别的羁绊 就像失和之前的
We have this special bond, like LaVar and Lonzo Ball
拉瓦尔与朗佐·鲍尔和塞索与普林斯·菲尔德
or Cecil and Prince Fielder before they became estranged.
都是运动员父子
不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no.
作弊是不对的
Cheating is wrong.
你得跟儿子找到其他提升感情的方式
Maybe you should find another way to bond with your son,
比如做个好父亲
like just being a good dad.
那样有什么奖品呢
Oh, where's the Jet Ski in that?
马姬 你总是说
Marge, you're always saying
想让孩子们成功
you want our kids to succeed.
那说不定不作弊就是骗他们
Then maybe not cheating is cheating them.
刷新
Refresh.
没有
Nothing.
刷新
Refresh.
还是没有
Still nothing.
刷新
Refresh.
旋转的彩虹特效
Spinny rainbow!
没有
Nothing.
丽莎·辛普森
Lisa Simpson,
我是春田大学夏令营的
I'm here from the University of Springfield Camp.
很激动地通知你
And I'm very excited to tell you
你已经被录取到我们的夏日项目中
that you've been accepted into our summer program.
我进了
I got in?
太好了
That's amazing! Oh!
谢谢 谢谢 谢谢
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
亲自来告诉每个人录取结果好有仪式感
It's so classy that you came to tell everybody in person.
作为赛艇教练 我喜欢当面欢迎
As the rowing coach, I like to personally welcome
我们未来赛艇队的小队员们
all the incoming members of our camp rowing team.
什么 赛艇
What? Rowing?
你申请上配的图很让人眼前一亮
Your application photos were amazing.
你在轻型赛艇 船尾 船头 宝力豪
You can row anywhere in the shell...
宝力豪奥体运动店 津城最具性价比的健身房♥
都划如鱼得水的
stroke, bow, powerhouse.
什么
Uh, what?
夏令营见
See you at camp.
你的亨利汗衫
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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