辛普森一家
The Simpsons S35E05
Part 3
March 18, 2024, 8:42 p.m.
Trope alert!
快找警卫
Call the first thought police.
丽莎教授在不知情的情况下做了我的共犯
Professor Lisa had no idea she was my accomplice.
不过她已经死了 她是最后一位受害者
But she's gone now. She was my last victim.
或者 倒数第二个
Or, rather, second to last.
倒数第二音节
The penultimate.
春田核电站
甜甜圈
一人一个
辛普森 涡轮室里不许吃东西
Simpson. No eating in the turbine room.
什么时候的规矩
Since when?
禁止饮食
一向如此
呵呵 保姆政♥府♥占上风
Pfft. The nanny state wins again.
不许在反应堆美黑
No tanning in the reactor core,
开车啃排骨的时候不许发消息
no texting while driving and eating ribs.
甚至不能用机♥枪♥修修树篱
Can't even trim your hedges with a machine gun.
什么时候都怂成这样了
When did everyone get so scared?
如果人们都像我这样依靠常识 世界该多美好
The world would be fine if people just used common sense. Like me.
它掉了
Ah! Jailbreak!
延长生命实验室
女人 女人
Woman. Woman.
此处亦禁止进食 说真的
侯默对保姆政♥府♥ 一比零
Homer, one. Nanny state, zero.
该死的放射脏甜甜圈在我睡着时改了我的DNA
Stupid radioactive garbage donut mutating my DNA while I sleep.
谁偷了我的弗兰德斯的报纸
Hey, who stole my Flanders's newspaper?
对不住了 小侯默
Sorry about that, Homer-ino,
但我在昨晚填字游戏后又把答案擦掉了
but I-I whited out the crossword after I did it,
这样你也能享受这游戏
so you could enjoy it, too.
比炉子烟囱冒出的烟好多了 是不是
Better from the chimney than the furnace, am I right?
由此可见 圣经从来没说过
So, you see, there's nothing in the Bible that says
牧师和他妻子不能分开各自度假
a pastor and his wife can't take separate vacations.
我的顶级生活
爸爸 你是在被圣灵纠缠吗
Daddy, are you being tickled by the Holy Spirit?
我被变成了没用版侯默
I've been neighborino'd into Home-diddly-omer.
而橄榄球赛正进行时候我为何还呆在教堂
And why am I in church when football is on?
去死吧 教堂
Kiss my ass, church-os.
我胖 我秃 可觉得自己前所未有的性感
I'm fat, I'm bald, and I've never felt sexier, baby.
为什么 你这小...
Why, you little...
春田第一教堂 煎饼早餐售罄
粗人间歇
一种神秘苦难降临春田
A mysterious affliction has descended upon Springfield.
不分年龄段 种族和口头禅的市民们
Citizens of every age, race and catchphrase
都奇怪的变成秃顶梨形头的呆瓜
are mysteriously transforming into bald, pear-shaped doofi.
多拿司徒有二型糖尿病
Donut Stu has diabetes type 2.
新闻好愚蠢
News is stupid.
有人放个摔跤节目吗
Somebody put on wrestling.
这些打嗝的秃头们有没有让你想起谁
Do all these burping baldos remind you of anyone?
到哪我都认得出那个挠屁♥股♥动作
I'd know that butt scratch anywhere.
大家都变成了爸爸
Everyone's turning into Dad.
孩子们 你们爸爸那并无优点的基因序列
Uh, children, your father's less than stellar genetic code
正通过打嗝形式四处传播
is spreading through burp-borne transmission.
如果想要治愈这个病毒 我们需要他的DNA
If we're going to cure this virus, we need his DNA.
你们三人是仅有能够不受病毒影响之人
You three are the only ones impervious to the virus.
你们必须找到他
You have got to find him.
已经是上午十一点半了
Hmm. It is 11:30 in the morning.
老谋子酒馆
啤酒 老谋子 啤酒 老谋子
Beer, Moe. Beer, Moe.
一杯啤酒 一个老谋子
A-beer, a-Moe.
你看到我爸爸了吗
Have you seen our dad?
没有 这只有成百上千的蠢版复♥制♥的他
No, just these hundreds of silly versions of him,
可也是我目前遇到过的最美好的事情
which is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
我是说 钱赚的简直如流水
I mean, I'm printing money over here.
马上就来 圣诞老人的小侯默
Coming right up, Santa's little Homer.
真的爸爸不在保龄球馆 不在糖果店
Real Dad wasn't at the bowling alley, the candy store,
也没在动物园嘲笑河马
or mocking the hippos at the zoo.
等等 爸爸昨晚吃了一桶这种鸡肉
Wait. Dad ate a bucket of this chicken last night.
雷氏鸡肉店
他吃鸡肉后 一般第二天都会在哪
When that happens, where does he always spend the next day?
桑西洗车店
男厕
我一会就出去
I'll be out in a minute.
这真的是你父亲最感觉舒适的洗手间吗
Um, is this really the most convenient bathroom for your father?
是妈妈允许他用的卫生间里最近的一个
It's the closest one Mom will let him use.
爸爸 我们需要你拯救世界
Dad, we need you to save the world.
行了行了行了
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
你敢相信有个白♥痴♥
Can you believe some idiot
把这么好用的痒痒挠落在里面了吗
left this perfectly good back scratcher in there?
看 它可以
Look, it goes all...
一路...挠到...底
the way... down.
咋了
What?
只要你登上付氏直升机
Now, if you'll just board the frink-ama-copter...
没人这么叫它
We're not calling it that.
然后把你的基因放到付氏制表机里
And then we'll pop your DNA in to the frink-tabulizer...
没人这么叫它
We're not calling it that.
一切就会回到原样的
And everything will go back to the way it was.
等下 我为什么会想回到原样
Wait. Hold on. Why would I want that?
大家终于和我想法一致了
Finally, everyone thinks the way I do.
没人再给自行车头盔制定愚蠢的规则了
Nobody's making up stupid rules about bicycle helmets
也没人管该去哪儿抽雪茄
or where you can smoke cigars.
你想不想不系安全带开车
You want to drive without a seatbelt?
一边视频通话一边乱穿马路
FaceTime while jaywalking?
享用高糖汽水
Enjoy a sugary soda?
想干就去干 没人会受伤的
Go ahead! You're not hurting anyone!
这就是个乌托邦
It's a utopia.
不 是我托邦
No, a me-topia!
好吧 你不会希望每个人都变得和你一样的
Yes, well, you don't really want everyone to be like you.
看我闪瞎你的眼
Earth-shattering reveal!
保险广♥告♥什么时候这么有意思了
When did insurance commercials get so funny?
马姬
Marge!
和我们合作是唯一让你老婆恢复正常的方法
Cooperating with us is the only way to get your wife back to normal.
你从未如此美丽
You've never looked more beautiful.
往边上挪挪 美人
Scooch over, gorgeous.
等我们回家以后
When we get home,
我们可以接着口鼻相亲
let's you and I bump muzzles.
求你了 如果没人能管事
Please. Please! If we don't have some competent people left
这个社会会瓦解的
to run things, society will collapse!
没有管理网络的程序员
Coders to run the Internet
给你送上最新的不实信息
that feeds you the latest misinformation.
没有飞行员驾驶把你捆在座位上的飞机
Pilots to fly the planes you need to be restrained on.
如果这个世界失去各位专家
I mean, a world without experts...
尖嘴什么时候能闭嘴
Does Beaker ever shut up?
说得好 我版马姬
Good one, me-Marge.
好吧 这是你逼我的
Mm, well, you leave me no choice.
我要发动核空袭
I'm calling in a nuclear air strike
把所有侯默化的春田镇居民全部消灭了
to obliterate all the Homerized Springfielders,
非常不幸的是
including, very sadly,
《长靴妖姬》的巡演剧团也包括在内
the touring company of Kinky Boots.
消灭倒计时三 二
Obliterating in three, two...
你知道你最需要什么吗
Hey, you know what you need?
有人给你好好放松地挠一下背
A nice, relaxing scratch on the back.
不 不 我一辈子的研究和教育都
No! No! Oh, a lifetime of study and education down the...
*这一定就是天堂的模样*
* This must be just like living in paradise *
*我再也不想回家*
* And I don't want to go home *
*这一定就是天堂的模样*
* This must be just like living in paradise *
*像天堂一样*
* Just like paradise *
盖·菲里当选总统
《舌尖上的美国》主持人
*我再也不想回家*
* And I don't want to go home *
温布尔登中心球场
温布尔顿沙包锦标赛
*我不想回家*
* And I don't want to go *
泰姬无限♥量♥自助餐欢迎光陵
欢迎来到玛格丽塔镇
旧称巴黎
*这一定就是天堂的模样*
* This must be just like living in paradise *
*我再也不想回家*
* And I don't want to go home *
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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