辛普森一家
The Simpsons S35E04
Part 3
March 18, 2024, 8:42 p.m.
No. I bought you Twitter.
整个公♥司♥ 相当便宜
The whole company. It was a bargain.
马斯克的星舰被国际空间站撞毁之后
The previous owner had to sell it after his self-driving Mars rocket
就把公♥司♥卖♥♥掉了
crashed into the international space station.
伯恩斯先生 你删了所有波瑟芬妮的负面推特
Mr. Burns, you deleted all negative tweets about Persephone.
这是你信奉主一般狂热崇拜她
Is that evidence that you're in a kind of cult
不愿听任何批判她的言论的证据吗
and won't hear any criticism of your leader?
是 我确实信奉她 婚姻的力量
Yes, I am in a cult. It's called a marriage.
我老婆是我的主 我的任务就是支持她
My wife is the head of it, and my job is to support her.
也许事实上你是你婚姻中的主 安德鲁
Now, maybe you're the cult leader in your marriage, Andrew,
可我和皮拉尔熟 她肯定不会认同
but I know Pilar, and I suspect she'd disagree.
但目前救生艇公♥司♥声誉在经受考验
But Lifeboat was rocked by a fresh scandal,
救生艇
一个匿名消息提供者供出
when an anonymous whistleblower bravely came forward
美国有线新闻调查
一则惊人内♥幕♥
with damning new information.
我兄弟卡尔被救生艇绑♥架♥了
My best friend Carl was abducted because he was about to go public
因为他要向公众告发会毁掉公♥司♥的秘密
with a story that would destroy this company.
人♥民♥值得了解真♥相♥
People need to know the truth.
救生艇公♥司♥的机器根本没作用
The Lifeboat machine doesn't work.
救生艇
一时间 人尽皆知
The whistle was blown and the damage was done.
斯普林菲尔德报道 漏水导致救生艇沉没
论♥坛♥报 直到告发尽头
纽约发布 救生艇运送床铺
泰♥晤♥士♥报♥ 我们需要更好的船只
美国新闻 哀哉 你的船
女士 女士 有消息称唯一见过
Ma'am, ma'am, the whistleblower claims the only person
您公♥司♥生产的海水淡化机的人消失了
who has seen the inside of your desalination machine has disappeared.
您不认为这很可疑吗
Isn't that suspicious?
为什么你选择相信那个男性侧影
Why do you doubt a female CEO
而不相信我这个女性首席执行
but believe the silhouette of a man sitting in the dark?
重大新闻 现在女人抛头露面合法
News flash! Women have faces now.
目前 对于其核心科技无效的指控
At this moment, allegations that its core technology
关乎救生艇公♥司♥的存亡
does not work are threatening Lifeboat's very survival.
这会是曾被看好的新兴公♥司♥衰落的开端吗
Is this the beginning of the end for this once-promising start-up?
答案是
And the answer is...
当然不了
absolutely not.
救生艇公♥司♥将拯救全人类
Lifeboat will save humanity
成为世界最为盈利的公♥司♥
and become the world's most profitable company.
不信就加入救生艇漂浮分公♥司♥
Join us next time for Lifeboat Afloat,
波瑟芬妮的最佳辩护
Persephone's total vindication.
该纪录片在伯恩斯科海洋零售店有售
This documentary series is now a Burnsco production.
蒙哥马利·伯恩斯不满关于妻子创业的纪录片
Montgomery Burns wasn't happy with the documentary
于是收♥购♥其制♥作♥公♥司♥
about his wife's start-up, so he bought the company that made it,
但这也只能阻挡一家之言
but that didn't stop others from telling the story,
毕竟商业纪录片的生意是个大生意
because the business of business documentaries is big business.
盐以为你缺爱
彼得·杰克逊导演
我们找出更多前所未见的披头士珍贵影像
We've unearthed even more never-before-seen footage of the Beatles,
其中包括他们花费六小时谈论饮用水
including six hours of them discussing drinking water.
水 没有水 就沏不出茶
The thing about water, you can't make tea without it.
用咖啡也能泡茶呢
What if you made tea out of coffee?
用茶也能沏咖啡呢
What if you made coffee out of tea?
哥们 还是玩玩音乐吧
Uh, fellas, maybe we should play some music.
为什么叫它氧化氢
Why do they call it H2O?
我看毫无道理
I bet no reason at all.
娱乐体育电视网出品纪录片
如履薄冰
救生艇公♥司♥冠名风波
几周前 救生艇公♥司♥不再支付
Just weeks ago, Lifeboat stopped payment
名下♥体♥育场的冠名
on their stadium naming rights.
救生艇
FTX交易所
影飞
丘比
巴♥特♥尔♥詹姆斯葡萄酒冷却器
尽管救生艇公♥司♥的纪录片层出不穷
Despite the glut of Lifeboat documentaries,
最具权威版本却十分有说服性
the definitive version was made by a storyteller so compelling,
并且引人入胜
he made 12 hours on the national parks feel like 11.
救生艇 被弃船
肯·彭斯出品
第一章
眼泪含盐量
神秘的举报人指控
The mysterious whistleblower alleged that
波瑟芬妮的海水淡化机是个骗局
Persephone's desalination machine was fraudulent.
救生艇公♥司♥的机器根本没作用
The Lifeboat machine doesn't work.
不幸的是
Unfortunately for him,
伯恩斯先生的法务团队已经获取了
Mr. Burns' legal team had acquired the raw footage
举报人采访的原始素材
of the whistleblower's damning interview.
那机器根本没作用
The machine doesn't work.
我点的明明是深烤焦黄 这才是轻度焦黄
Hey, I ordered this sub toasted. This is only lightly toasted.
你们就这么对待一位举报人吗
Is this how you treat a whistleblower?
现在伯恩斯先生和波瑟芬妮已经知道
Mr. Burns and Persephone now knew
背叛他们那个人的身份
the identity of the man who betrayed them.
而聘用律师要摧毁侯默·辛普森的行动
And the hiring of lawyers to destroy Homer Simpson
却看起来非常催情
proved to be quite the aphrodisiac.
救生艇公♥司♥律师们不断地试图给侯默送传票
Lifeboat lawyers were relentless in trying to subpoena Homer...
传票
并控告他违反保密协议
...and sue him for breaking his NDA.
达夫啤酒 传票
很高兴为您服务
传票
我爸收到匿名信息
My dad got an anonymous message
说有东西要给他看 所以我和他同去了
saying there was something he had to see, so I went with him.
我看到的事让我改变了曾以为永远不变的东西
What I saw changed the one thing I thought could never be changed...
我的想法
my mind.
冷却塔 视频由丽莎·辛普森友情提供
零食
卡尔 是你发的信息
Carl. You sent the message.
你一直都在实验室工作吗
You've been working in the lab all along?
如果我不做他们的脏活 他们会揭发我的黑料
If I didn't do their dirty work, they'd tell the world my dark secret.
我去过700次吉米·巴菲特演唱会 我是鹦鹉头
I've been to 700 Jimmy Buffet concerts! I'm a parrot-head.
《芝士汉堡天堂》
"Cheeseburger in paradise"!
那么他们让你都做些什么
So, what are they making you do?
我把"猛击糖"这种东西放入救生艇公♥司♥的机器
I'm putting something in the Lifeboat machines called "jab-a-tose."
请允许我解释一下
Well, if I may frink-splain.
上世纪七十年代叫"猛击"的节食汽水被禁售
In 1970, a very popular diet soda called Jab was discontinued
因为它使用的人工香精导致极甜的味道
because of the overpowering sweetness of its artificial flavor.
救生艇公♥司♥买♥♥下了成千上万箱没卖♥♥出去的汽水
Lifeboat bought up thousands of cases of unsold Jab sodas
由于猛击糖味道极为强烈
because jab-a-tose was so strong
足以彻底遮盖掉盐的味道
it could completely mask the taste of salt.
我的天啊 这机器根本不是滤除了盐分
Oh, my God. This machine doesn't take out the salt.
而是用甜味将其遮盖
It masks it with sweetness!
这就是猛击糖的作用
That's the jab-a-tose.
海水进入机器后
Ocean water enters the machine,
再被倒出 尝起来就正常了
and when it comes out, it tastes normal
但实际含盐量高于玛格丽塔镇的任何一杯水
but still has more salt than all the glasses in Margaritaville.
救生艇公♥司♥完全是谎言 波瑟芬妮是骗子
Oh, my God. Lifeboat is built on a lie, and Persephone is a fraud.
但她的周边产品真的...
But her merch is...
非常不错
solid.
需要采取行动 这座岛要没时间了
Action was needed, and island time was running out.
本校因救生艇公♥司♥而存在 救生艇公♥司♥
救生艇公♥司♥最终在春田小学
The fateful demo day had arrived
证明自己理念的关键展示日已经到来
for Lifeboat to finally prove its concept at Springfield elementary.
而学校的饮用水也早已换成救生艇公♥司♥的水
The school's drinking water had been replaced with Lifeboat liquid...
含有猛击糖的盐水
jab-a-tose-infused salt water.
救生艇公♥司♥的员工们喝的是酷爱饮料
Lifeboat employees had drunk the Kool-aid,
而现在它被拿给孩子们饮用
and now it was being served up to the children.
伯恩斯先生 救生艇公♥司♥的水并不安全
Mr. Burns! The Lifeboat water isn't safe.
它就是一种超级甜的海盐水
It's just super sweetened ocean brine.
胡说 我妻子是一位美丽的天才
Nonsense. My wife is a beautiful genius,
她做的每件事都大获成功
who succeeds at everything she touches.
而她说的每句话都极为有理
And everything she says makes perfect sense.
明日之轮是一个水循环 让我们降雨吧
The wheel of tomorrow is an aqua-circle. Let's make it rain.
老兄 老兄 老兄
Buddy, buddy, buddy.
你现在对这位女士的感情是新鲜之爱
What you're feeling towards that lady is fresh love,
还不是婚姻之爱
not married love.
但我们已经结婚了
But we are married.
对 但婚姻之爱的效力还没开始
Yes, but the married love hasn't kicked in yet.
婚姻之爱能让你看见你伴侣的瑕疵
When it does, you'll see your spouse's flaws
而且是关不掉的超高清版本
in 4K HDTV you can never turn off.
你到底想干什么
What are you driving at?
我觉得你需要用已婚的眼光来看待你老婆
I think you need to look at your wife with marriage eyes.
水是原始的密♥码♥
Water is the original crypto.
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