黄金女郎（1985）

The Golden Girls S03E10

Part 2 July 18, 2023, 3:06 p.m.

谢谢你斯坦
Thank you, Stan.
你戴的假发真漂亮
That's a beautiful toupee you're wearing.
现在咱俩都胡说八道了
There, now we're both liars.
好了斯坦我们快点搞定吧
Okay, Stan, let's get this over with.
好吧这是一份纳税申报表
Yeah, well, okay, here's a copy of the tax return.
我们得逐一检查每一个款项
We'll go over each deduction individually
并附上收据
and document it with a receipt.
好吧
Okay.
这是什么鬼东西?
What the hell is this?
哦呃那个…这是生意上的损失
Oh, uh, that... It's a business loss.
-我做了一个糟糕的投资 -什么投资?
- I made a bad investment. - What investment?
你从没告诉过我你在投资
You never told me you were investing.
其实我没打算这么做但是…
Well, I actually wasn't planning to, but...
我一看到它就知道它能赚钱
I knew this was a money maker the minute I laid eyes on it.
我说的是领带围嘴宝贝
I'm talking tie bibs, babe.
领带围嘴
Tie bibs.
是的戴在领带上的小围兜
Yeah. Little bibs that fit over your necktie.
你出去吃午饭不用担心弄脏你的领带
You go out to lunch, you don't worry about staining your tie.
这是一个多么棒的点子啊
It's a perfect gift, a great idea.
最棒的是从来没有人想到过这一点
And the best part was, no one else had ever thought of it.
直到今天我都不知道为什么我不能卖♥♥掉它们
To this day, I don't know why I couldn't sell them.
你听说过餐巾纸吗斯坦利?
Did you ever hear of napkins, Stanley?
我是没能上《财富》杂♥志♥的封面
Hey. So I didn't make the cover of Fortune.
我只是想做点什么来改善我们的关系
I was just trying to do something to make things better for us.
我们所有的朋友都搬走了
All our friends were moving up,
而我们只能去帕卢卡维尔
and we were stuck with a one-way ticket to Palookaville.
我想出人头地宝贝
I wanted to be someone, babe.
我也想争出一片天地
I wanted to be a contender.
斯坦利你是刚租的《码头风云》吗?
Stanley, did you just rent On the Waterfront?
1954年马龙·白兰度主演的电影
你太了解我了
You know me so well.
不我不了解
No, I don't.
2500美元的礼品收款是怎么回事?
What is this $2500 deduction for a gift?
这是买♥♥钻戒的收据
This is a receipt for the diamond ring
是你在我们结婚38周年纪念日送我的
that you gave me on our 38th wedding anniversary.
我知道
I know.
你为我花了2500美元?
You spent $2500 on me?
是的我想过了38年你应该得到一些重要的东西
Yeah. Figured after 38 years, you deserve something major.
我知道我们有分歧
Listen, I know we've had our differences,
但关键时刻你总是支持我
but you've always stuck by me when it really counted.
我会因此永远爱你
I'll always love you for that.
哦谢谢你斯坦利
Oh, thank you, Stanley.
斯坦利一辆雪佛兰和
Stanley, what are all these deductions
一个租来的车♥库♥要扣多少钱
for a Corvette and a rented garage?
桃乐茜别生气
Dorothy, don't get mad.
想打也别打我
And don't hit me if you do.
我瞒着你买♥♥了辆雪佛兰
I kind of bought a Corvette without telling you.
你没告诉我就买♥♥了辆车?
You bought a car without telling me?
我正在经历中年危机
I was going through a mid-life crisis.
我也是我烫了个发还练了爵士健身操
So was I. I gave myself a perm and took up Jazzercise.
你没告诉我就买♥♥了辆车?
You bought a car without telling me?
我该怎么解释呢?
How can I explain it?
当我坐在方向盘后面时吸引了很多注意力
When I sat behind the wheel, people noticed me.
人们注意到了我
People paid attention.
那辆车吸引了很多小妞
That car was a chick magnet.
行吧斯坦利赶紧给我出去
That is it, Stanley. That's it. Get out.
滚出我家滚出我的生活
Get out of my house. Get out of my life.
那审计呢?
What about the audit?
我们可能会陷入麻烦我们可能会进监狱
We can get into trouble. We could wind up in jail.
那好极了我要就是要你进监狱
Good, good. I want you to go to jail.
我要找一个叫布巴的秃顶囚犯
And I want a big bald convict named Bubba
选你做他的女朋友
to pick you for his girlfriend.
桃乐茜你才不会这么狠
Dorothy, you don't mean that.
我不敢吗这都是你的错
The hell I don't. This is all your fault.
听着这事怪谁不重要
Look, it doesn't matter who's to blame here.
我们是一条船上的如果你不想合作
We're in this together. If you don't wanna cooperate,
-你会伤害到你自己的
- you're gonna be hurting yourself.
-你说得对我更恨你
- You're right. And I hate you for it.
怎么这么吵?
What's all the racket?
哦没什么我真想杀了斯坦
Oh, nothing. I could just murder Stan.
他没告诉我就买♥♥了辆雪佛兰
He bought a Corvette without telling me.
有什么可抱怨的?
Why are you complaining?
你父亲也瞒着我做了一些事
Your father did things without telling me.
不然你以为我是怎么怀上你弟弟菲尔的?
How do you think I got pregnant with your brother Phil?
记住我会处理一切我♥干♥过推销
Just remember, I'll handle everything. I'm a salesman.
我擅长打交道我知道该怎么做
I deal with people. I know what I'm doing.
闭嘴斯坦利
Shut up, Stanley.
放松一旦我们进去了
Mellow out. Once we get in there,
我们必须在心理上控制住自己
we have to exercise psychological control.
-所以我才穿这身西装 -你让我恶心
- That's why I'm wearing this suit. - You make me sick.
大家都知道好人穿白色
Hey, everyone knows good guys wear white.
这套西装在潜意识里告诉审计员我是个好人
This suit subliminally tells the auditor I'm a good guy.
看着你我都想吐了
I could vomit just looking at you.
兹博纳克先生和太太请到我办公室来
Mr. And Mrs. Zbornak, step into my office, please.
看我施展我的魔法宝贝
Watch me work my magic, babe.
下午好我是温德尔·默里我将负责你们的审计
Good afternoon. I am Wendell Murray.
I'll be conducting your audit.
见到你很高兴我是桃乐茜·兹博纳克
Nice to meet you. I'm Dorothy Zbornak.
这是我前夫斯坦利
This is my ex-husband, Stanley.
温德尔
Wendell.
老伙计
Paisan.
我们要进监狱了
We're going to jail.
你叫我什么?
What did you call me?
在他回答之前让我重申一下
Before he answers that, let me reiterate,
我们俩已经离婚了
we are bitterly divorced.
放松桃乐茜
Relax, Dorothy.
温德尔我叫你老伙计
Wendell, I called you "paisan."
朋友兄弟的头型
Friend, brother of the scalp.
恕我冒昧说一句
If I may get philosophical for one moment,
我一直认为秃顶的男人就像少数民族一样
I've always believed we bald men are like any other minority.
-我们要团结在一起 -你说谁秃头?
- That's why we have to stick together. - Who you calling bald?
没有人说
Nobody, nobody.
闭嘴把头发戴好
Just shut up and put your hair on.
是的亲爱的温德尔如果我可以叫你温德尔的话
Yes, dear. Wendell, if I may call you Wendell,
我说过我是彩虹联盟的成员吗?
did I mention that I'm a member of the Rainbow Coalition?
兹博纳克先生太太容我提醒你们
Mr. And Mrs. Zbornak, may I remind you
作为国税局的一名雇员
that as an employee of the IRS,
我唯一的责任就是确保政♥府♥
it is my sole obligation to see that the government
能收取到应得的税款
gets all the money it has coming to it?
-我打赌你会做得很好 -谢谢然而
- And I'll bet you do a fine job of it. - Thank you. However,
这事跟我个人没有任何关系明白了吗?
I have no personal stake in this whatsoever. Is that understood?
-哦是的 -当然伙计
- Oh, yes. Yes. - You bet, my man.
那就少废话了伙计
Then cut the crap, paisan.
伙计们我做这份工作已经快四年了
You know, folks, I've been at this job almost four years now,
在从业的这段时间里我可以诚实地说
and in that short time I can honestly say
我从未见过如此笨拙愚蠢的方法
I have never seen such an inept,
clumsy, downright stupid attempt
来避免缴纳所得税
to avoid paying income tax.
谢谢真是受益良多啊
Thanks. That means a lot coming from you.
我得实话说这样算下来我也很惊讶
I can also honestly say that I'm amazed the way this lays out,
你只欠很少的钱
you only owe a small amount.
-你开玩笑吧 -当然不是欠5000美元
- You're kidding. - No. $5000.
5000美元……我们可没那么多钱
$5000... We don't have that kind of money.
山姆大叔(政♥府♥)不喜欢听到这些
Uncle Sam doesn't like to hear that.
桃乐茜阿姨也不喜欢说这个
Aunt Dorothy doesn't enjoy saying it.
我们希望你们每个人在30天内拿出2500美元
We'll expect you each to cough up $2500 in 30 days.
如果我们做不到呢?
What if we can't?
我们会扣押和冻结你的银行账户财产和工资
We'll put a lien on your bank accounts, property, and your salaries.
如果还是不够我们就只能把你关起来了
And if that doesn't work, we'll just have to incarcerate you.
我的天啊我们要进监狱了
Oh, my God. We're going to jail.
对了斯坦利
That's right, Stanley.
记得告诉我你和布巴婚礼的瓷器是在哪设计的