Yes, we know, Eddie.
是啊 我们都知道 埃迪
I engineered that orgasm.
我把他搞得高♥潮♥了
My hands, mouth, feet.
手嘴腿并用
I watched his jism form a slimy St. Louis arch
我看着他的精♥液♥在空中
in the air before landing comfortably
划出一道圣路易斯拱门般的形状
on the rug in the Lincoln bedroom.
然后妥妥地落在林肯卧室的地毯上
You performed fellatio in the white house?
你在白宫里口♥交♥吗
Shh, it's not appropriate, but yes.
确实不妥 但就是这样
I had an experience with a gent once.
我也上过一次男人
He was quite pretty.
长得挺秀气
Showed up in the backstage area.
突然跑到后台
Fooled the road crew. Sure as hell fooled me.
他骗过了工作人员 当然也骗过了我
He gave a lovely blow job.
他吹♥箫♥吹得很不错
I reached into his knickers,
我把手深进他裤裆
felt what I initially thought to be
摸到一玩意儿
a slightly oversized female clitoris,
我刚开始还以为是他的阴蒂偏大
but, no, it was a gentleman's short, but quite broad penis.
但其实是他的鸡♥巴♥ 短小但还是很明显
I thought to myself,
我心想
"What would Bowie do?"
"如果是鲍威会怎么做"
And then I gave up and got security to beat him senseless.
后来我放弃了 叫来保安痛打了他一顿
And then I felt sorry for him
我觉得挺对不起他
and let him blow me again.
又让他帮我吹了一次箫
Holes is holes when all's said and done.
一切结束后 还是一♥码♥归一♥码♥
That's exactly what I always say.
这不就是我常说的吗
I have big news.
我要宣布个重要消息
Tonight I'm gonna make love to a woman.
今晚我要找个女人上♥床♥
Oh, well, maybe we should alert the media.
好吧 我们也许该通知媒体
Entertainment Tonight or maybe National Geographic.
《娱乐今宵》 或者是《国家地理》
Well, I have been celibate for quite some time now.
我已经禁欲很久了
I thought that I'd lost all my loads.
我以为这辈子的精♥液♥都已经射光了
But they came back, and if I'm going to star
但没想到还有 如果我要主演
in a traditional love story, I need to remember
传统的爱情故事 那我就得回忆一下
what it's like to come again with a woman.
怎么跟女人相处
And, by the way, what's the deal with this party?
这场派对的主题是什么来着
'Cause seems like it's a little bit
感觉上会是一场
of a sausage fest.
肉林盛宴
Yeah, Runkle. Where are the girls?
是啊 朗克尔 姑娘们在哪
I'm sorry. What do you mean?
抱歉 你什么意思
I said we should have a party.
我说了我们要开派对
Did you expect me to send out the fucking invites,
难道你还指望我去发请帖吗
you senseless wanker?
你个蠢货
And what about the drugs?
还有毒品呢
Where are the drugs? Okay.
毒品在哪 好吧
Atticus, well, we had good luck with the chocolate bars
阿提库斯 巧克力棒和润滑剂
and the Astroglide, but there was
我们都搞到了 不过毒品
a little bit of a problem with the drugs.
碰到了点麻烦
Fuckin' fuck, Runkle.
操♥你♥妈♥ 朗克尔
Jesus. Aah!
老天
Was that a banana?
那是香蕉吗
I want drugs.
老子要毒品啊
I want some fucking girls
老子要女人
and some fucking drugs.
还要毒品啊
Drugs.
毒品来啦
Hank Moody. Boom.
汉克·穆迪 太棒了
Hey. How's my suit?
我的西服怎么样
It's aspirational.
挺不错的
Gonna fit in that fucker one day.
总有一天我会穿得进那破衣服的
Excellent, exce-- good luck with that.
那太好了 祝你好运
You know, you don't have to be so fucking snarky.
你不用这么拐着弯骂人
Slow and steady wins the race, asshole.
慢而稳者赛必胜 窝囊废
I'll fit in that suit before you grow your fucking hair back.
我会在你头发长回来之前穿进那件西服的
Boom!
太棒了
Frank! Widow.
法兰克 寡妇
Come here.
过来抱一个
And if it isn't the bloody warlock who turned me bum
这不是那个把老娘搞得欲♥仙♥欲♥死♥的
into the happiest place on earth.
超级魔法师吗
I've missed you,
我想死你了
you dirty, bald bastard, you.
你个光头下流小混♥蛋♥
Nice to see you, Trudy.
很高兴见到你 特鲁迪
How you been? I've been well.
你怎么样 我很好
I've been well, you know. Good.
我已经没事了 那就好
Thinking about finding me a new husband.
正在考虑找个新老公
Oh, really?
是吗
Tony left me in financial shambles.
托尼一死 我就没钱花了
You know. I mean, we spent it
他一赚到钱
as fast as he made it.
我们俩立马就花光了
I don't know if he's marriage material,
我不知道他适不适合结婚
but Eddie Nero right over here
不过这边这位埃迪·尼禄
is looking to bust a big, fat load
禁欲很久了
after being celibate for quite some time.
想找人好好发泄发泄
Really? Maybe you two could help
是吗 也许你俩可以
each other out. Oh, no.
各取所需 不要啦
He's a little too pretty for me.
他对我来说太花俏了啦
And he poops on people.
他还喜欢在人身上拉屎
Blue eyes poops on people. You're into the scat play, huh?
蓝眼睛拉屎君 你喜欢屎交 对吧
It was a phase but a messy phase.
这只是其中一个非常混乱的阶段
I've been there once or twice.
我玩过一两次
I have. Real messy.
我玩过 真的很混乱
Speaking of dirty,
说到脏
what do you say, Popeye?
你怎么说 "大力水手"
You ready to bust one out of the chamber,
准备突袭这屋里的某位
so we can sit back, relax,
好让我们坐下来
and enjoy the party?
好好享受派对了吗
Don't mind if I do.
如果真这样 你可别介意
Yay. Attaboy.
当然了 好样的
Stop.
停
Don't stop.
继续
Stop.
停
I'm almost done.
我快看完了
Fuck.
操
This is good, Hank.
非常棒 汉克
Almost makes me want to jump your bones.
我差点就想跟你开干了
Almost? What else--
差点 还差什么
I got a typewriter right here.
我这就有台打字机
Damn.
讨厌
Thank you.
谢谢
Well, your thoughts,
你的想法
and the kind, thoughtful,
温柔和体贴
long-legged manner
还有你
in which you chose to express them,
秀大长腿的方式
had much to do with the end result.
对结局帮助很大
Well, it leaves you with the same feeling
就像一首真正的好歌♥
that a real great song does.
给人的感觉一样
Sadly, I think my work here is done.
很遗憾 我的任务完成了
What? No more sexy time?
什么 不再玩玩吗
Say it ain't so.
快说还没完
Well, too much leads to too much.
操之过度会带来更多伤害
Sooner or later, someone gets hurt.
迟早会有人因此受伤
Yeah, well, you're right.
是啊 你说得对
You should probably do your best
你得尽最大努力
not to fall in love with me.
千万别爱上我
I wasn't worried about me.
我可不担心自己
No, no, be careful.
不 还是小心点
I have a tendency to take root in
我种本事
the hearts and minds of those
能让一开始讨厌我的人
who initially find me off-putting.
为我魂牵梦萦
It's a small, but loyal group.
潜移默化慢慢生根
Everything put together falls apart, Hank.
合久必分 汉克
Paul Simon. Very good.
保罗·西蒙说的 答对了
No, that was easy for me. Know why?
对我来说很容易 知道为什么吗
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