加州靡情（2007）

Californication S06E06

Part 2 Dec. 1, 2020, 11:57 a.m.

Do you know how many songs I've written
你知道为了我们这次冒险
for this venture of ours?
我写了多少首歌♥吗
No, but, uh,
不知道但是
why don't you tell me?
你直接告诉我吧
Zero.
一首都没有
Zero point zero fucking zero.
他妈的一首都还没写啊
That doesn't sound good. It isn't fucking good.
情况不妙啊他妈本来就不妙
It's bloody terrible. It's also not true.
太糟糕了也没那么夸张啦
You played a song for me at your party the other night.
前几天晚上在你派对上还给我写了首歌♥呢
I wrote that when I was 12 years old.
那是我十二岁时写的
I was trying to recycle it.
我想拿来炒冷饭的
That's probably why it sounded so shitty.
难怪那歌♥听着那么烂
Fuck you. Wasn't too shitty for the judges
去你♥妈♥的♥ 要是真那么屎
of my year nine talent contest.
我还能从那九个人里脱颖而出吗
What am I doing here?
叫我来这干吗
Hank.
汉克
I need you, Hank.
我需要你汉克
I need to get at the heart of this love story.
我要体会这个爱情故事的真谛
I need you to open a vein for me.
我要你为我打通任督二脉
I've been rich and famous for so long now
我很久前就已经非常有钱而且出名了
that I don't think I know what it means
但是我真的再也不能理解
to be a human being anymore.
做人意味着什么
You're real, Hank. You're--you're a real man.
你是真实的汉克你是个真实的人
You're a--you're a man who loves a woman
你是个你爱的女人
who doesn't love you back.
却不爱你
She loves me back. What--it's complicated.
她也爱我怎么了这很复杂
I love my wife. She loves me.
我爱我老婆她也爱我
We're together. It's not that complicated.
我们在一起这没那么复杂
You fuck other women. That's different.
你上了别的女人这不一样
How so?
为什么
Do you urinate, Hank?
你尿尿吗汉克
Do you defecate?
你拉屎吗
There are elements in the human body
人体内有一些成分
that need to take flight.
需要适时排出
Ejaculate's just one of them.
精♥液♥也是其中一种
Right, that's what masturbation is for.
好吧那正是自♥慰♥的目的所在
Ew, no. Masturbation?
不自♥慰♥吗
Masturbation's for the poor, the downtrodden,
自♥慰♥是穷♥人♥ 受压♥迫♥者
the silent unfuckables.
性无能的人才做的呢
I walk down the street and women present themselves.
我走上大街就有女人送上门
They want to extract my fluids.
她们都想得到我的精♥液♥
It's an honor and a privilege, Hank.
这是种荣誉也是种特权汉克
What--what sort of asshole would refuse such a kindness?
傻♥逼♥才会拒绝这种恩赐
What about your old lady? What about her?
那你家的黄脸婆怎么办她怎么了
What about her needs?
她想要怎么办
Wives are different.
老婆不一样
They don't rub themselves raw like we do.
她们不会像我们一样乱搞
They're ladies.
她们是女人
All right, well, you seem to have it all figured out.
好了看来你都搞清楚了啊
I'll be on my way. No, please.
我走了别走
Please stay.
求你留下来
I am flying to New York
我要飞去纽约
to play my music for the Broadway producers.
为百老汇制♥作♥人演奏我的曲子
But you have no music.
但是你都没有曲子
Which is why we need to hammer the story out.
所以咱们得把故事敲定下来
Once I know the story,
我一旦了解了故事
the music will-- will pour out of me
音乐灵感就会喷发而出
like a chunky hailstorm of shit
就像我前一晚吃了荷兰咖喱
after a night of Dutch curry.
第二天大便就会如雹暴般倾泻而下
Speaking of which,
说到这个
I have got to drop the kids off at the pool
我得在这群孩子弄脏我皮裤前
before I soil my leathers.
让他们在游泳池边下车
These pants? $7,000.
这条裤子 7000刀买♥♥的
It's good to be the king.
当老大的感觉真好
Make yourself comfortable, Hank.
你随意吧汉克
There's pizza and... cocaine and...
这里有披萨和可♥卡♥因♥还有
apple juice.
苹果汁
Hello, sweetheart.
你好啊甜心
Hello, Hank.
你好汉克
Mrs. Fetch.
费治太太
Or perhaps I should say Mrs. Fetching.
也许我现在还能这么称呼你
I've been wanting to have a word with you.
我一直想找机会跟你聊聊呢
Regarding?
聊什么
An extramarital affair.
婚外恋
Oh, my. Mm.
天呐嗯
I know my husband fucks around on the road.
我知道我老公在外面到处乱搞
You do? Mmhmm.
你知道嗯
But we have an agreement.
但是我们有一份协议
Are you sure?
你确定吗
Well, we've never actually discussed it,
虽然我们从来不讨论这个
but I have needs too, you know.
但是我也是有需求的
That's what I said.
我也是那么说的啊
I mean, that-- that's totally understandable.
那是完全能够理解的
Would you like to take care of those needs, Hank?
你愿意满足我的这些需求吗汉克
Me? Uh, why me?
我为什么是我
'Cause.
因为
This whole rock-and-roll idiot man-child shit
这个又傻♥逼♥又幼稚的摇滚男
gets old.
老了
I need a-a real man from the real world.
我需要的是一个真实世界里的真实男人
Are you man enough to be that real, Hank?
你达到我的标准了吗汉克
I-I-I don't think so.
我我我觉得没有
I mean, in fact, you should speak
其实你可以和我
to my estranged better half.
已分居的老婆聊聊
She would tell you that I fall
她会告诉你我比你老公
more into the idiot man-child category.
更幼稚更傻♥逼♥
Karen? She speaks the world of you.
凯伦吗她说过很多关于你的事
Really? Yeah.
真的吗是啊
That's sweet. What does she say?
她真好她怎么说的
Enough about Karen.
别谈凯伦了
Isn't it weird, though, because she works for you?
你感觉奇怪是因为她在给你打工吗
I'm paying Karen to remodel my home.
我请她装♥修♥我家
If she thinks she can expect more than a paycheck
如果她认为以她的能力
for her services, fuck her.
应该拿更多薪水去她妈的吧
All's fair, Hank.
这很公平汉克
I see you and your husband have
我发现你和你老公
the same twisted sense of entitlement.
有一样扭曲的权利意识
That's--it's actually kind of cute.
其实还挺可爱的
I don't want to twist your arm, but, um,
我不想把你的手扭断但是
I'd like to take your hand here
我会把你的手放到这来
and shove it up my skirt.
撩起我的衣服
Ow. Yum, yum.
噢真美味
You making a play on the boss's wife?
你是在调戏老板娘吗
You've got no fucking shame.
真♥他♥妈♥不要脸
Kruller, it is not what it looks like.
克鲁尔不是你看到的那样
I'm just meat. Man meat. You know how that goes.
我只是她的玩物任她宰割你懂的
You know.
你知道的
Gimme an excuse, pal.
给我个理由老兄
You won't even hear me coming.
你还不知道我的出现
I'll slice them fucking cheeks wide open.
我就已经把你的小脸划得皮开肉绽
They'll be flapping about like
像"慷慨号♥"的帆
the sails on the H.M.S. Bounty.
一样摆动拍打着
See what a fucking charmer you are then, son.
看你到时还多迷人孩子
What are you doing?
你在干吗
What's it look like I'm doing? I'm getting ready for takeoff.
还能在干吗我正准备起飞
What's wrong with you? You're sweating like a pig.
你怎么了汗流浃背的
You know what a nervous flier I am.
你知道我多怕坐飞机的
No, I don't. I've never flown with you.
不我不知道我又没和你飞过
That's because I never fly, Hank.
因为我从来不坐飞机汉克
It scares the shit out of me.
会把我吓尿的
What's supposed to keep this whole thing
要怎样才能保证这庞然大物