马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S04E06

Part 2 Feb. 18, 2020, 10:37 a.m.

We can draw up a standard Hollywoo sham-marriage contract:
三年不用对对方专一大笔的经济补偿
three years, non-exclusive, huge payday.
我想你一定准备好了一切
And I presume you'll be arranging everything.
作为考特尼的经纪人我很乐意帮忙
As Courtney's agent I'm happy to help,
但是我认为从传统意义上来讲
but I believe traditionally
应该是新郎的经理人负责策划婚礼
it's the bride's manager who plans the wedding.
好吧
Okay.
傻♥逼♥ 二货白♥痴♥
Idiot. Stupid animal. Oaf.
你是最漂亮的
You are just the prettiest thing.
-是的你是最漂亮的 -你在和谁说话
- Yes, you are. - Who are you talking to?
小点声白♥痴♥ 你会把宝宝弄哭的
Keep it down, oaf. You'll make the baby cry.
-宝宝 -是的
- Baby? - Yes, you are.
她一直在问她的宝宝在哪
She kept asking where the baby was,
所以我让蒂娜把她的娃娃拿过来了
so I had Tina get her this doll.
-她特别喜欢 -妈"特别"喜欢一个宝宝
- She's totes into it. - Mom is "Totes" into a baby?
那宝宝是在白兰地里泡过吗
Is it possible the baby got dipped in brandy at some point?
或是在香烟还是什么关于移♥民♥的旧观念里泡过
Or cigarettes, or regressive ideas about immigrants?
-我想她只是想要个宝宝 -咯叽咯叽咯叽
- I think she just wanted a baby. - Coochie-coochie-coo...
你不应该纵容她的幻想这是不对的
You shouldn't indulge her delusions. It's not right.
但是她好像很不开心你又一直都不在
But she seemed really down. And you're never around anymore.
看她那样很令人沮丧
It was getting depressing to look at her.
所以我才做了这个枕头套
That's why I made her this pillowcase.
你把这个戴到她的头上一切就都美好了
You just put this over her head and everything is fine.
好黑啊
Dark in here.
有人吗
Hello?
他们这周末要播FHBA迈阿密马拉松
So they're airing an F.H.B.A. Miami marathon this weekend.
有人要来吗
Does anyone want to come over?
实际上我有一件大事要宣布
I actually have a big announcement.
我这周末要和考特尼·波特诺伊结婚
I'm marrying Courtney Portnoy this weekend.
-太棒了陶德不错嘛 -真棒
- Great, Todd. Good for you. - That's amazing.
我知道性冷淡的人结婚是一件疯狂的事
I know it's pretty wild for an asexual to get married, but...
不啊约翰和我都性冷淡我们俩就结婚了
Not really. John and I are aces and we're married.
-真的吗 -是啊
- Really? - Yeah.
我们的婚礼是航海主题的
Our wedding was nautical-themed.
为什么是航海主题是性冷淡专属的吗
Why nautical? Is that, like, an asexual thing?
不是哥们我们只是真的很喜欢船
No, man. We just really like boats.
性冷淡只意味着你对性不感兴趣
Asexual just means you're not interested in sex.
有些性冷淡者也是浪漫主义者
Some asexuals are also a-romantic,
但其他不是浪漫主义者的也会像别人一样约会
but others have relationships like anyone else.
但也包括船
But involving boats?
我觉得你真的对船这件事想多了
I feel like you're getting really hung up on the boats thing.
所以性冷淡结婚并不奇怪吗
So, it's not weird for an ace to get married?
不奇怪啊如果你找到一个
No, if you found someone who
真的能接受你的人就勇敢地爱吧
really accepts you for who you are, go for it.
我会的我是说我是是吗
I will! I mean, I am. I mean, am I?
美味的鸡蛋
Beautiful eggs of '44
给我的宝贝还想再来点吗
For my baby, want some more?
碧翠斯这咖啡的口感棒极了
Beatrice, this coffee is amazing.
你个垃圾笨蛋一切都糟透了
You stupid garbage fire. Everything sucks.
波杰克你看到你妈在做什么了吗
BoJack, did you see what your mother is doing?
很不可思议吧
Isn't it incredible?
是啊下午三点做早饭真是不可思议
Yeah, making breakfast at three in the afternoon. So with it.
这个宝宝真乖啊对不对都不怎么哭
Isn't this baby well-behaved? Hardly ever cries.
也许那是因为你是一个好妈妈碧翠斯
Probably because you're such a good mother, Beatrice.
别那么说
Don't say that.
我本来还很担心家里有个宝宝
I was very nervous to have a baby in the house,
结果它所需要的只是妈妈的爱
but it turns out, all it needed is a mother's love.
等你长大了你的梦想都会实现的
Oh, when you grow up, you can be anything you want to be.
烂娃娃它做过什么让它受到如此待遇
Lousy baby. What did it ever do that was so great?
我是在嫉妒一个娃娃吗
Am I jealous of a doll?
也许如果那个娃娃没有那样满脸自得
Maybe if that doll wasn't so smug,
用它那恐怖的娃娃眼睛看着我...
looking at me with its creepy doll eyes...
她在玩弄你霍莉霍克
She's tricking you, Hollyhock.
-这不是她真实的样子 -谁在乎呢
- This is not what she's really like. - Who cares?
不管你和你妈之间有什么问题
Whatever beef you have with your mom,
她只是一位体贴迷糊的老妇人
that's just a sweet confused old lady.
-她说得对 -你说错了她没有迷糊
- She's right. -You're wrong. She's in there.
-她知道她在做什么 -你太多疑了
- She knows exactly what she's doing. - You are so paranoid.
麻烦你们别吵了争吵对孩子不好
Please stop fighting. All this shouting is bad for the baby.
50年前你这敏锐的为人父母的见解在哪里
Where was that keen parenting insight 50 years ago?
亨丽埃塔你不适合为人父母
Henrietta, you're unfit to be a parent.
-我不适合 -是的混♥蛋♥
- I'm unfit? - It's true, jackass.
你觉得当一个娃娃的父母很困难吗我也能做到
You think it's so hard to be a parent to a doll? I could do that.
看我正抱着宝宝呢希望我不会摔了它
Hey, look, I'm cradling the baby. Hope I don't drop it!
不我摔了它了但它没哭
Oh, no! I dropped it, but it's not crying.
估计没什么事我是个棒极了的家长
Guess it's okay. I'm an amazing parent.
如果我把它整天丢在家里
What if I left it in its room all day
不喂它不给它换尿布呢
and didn't feed it or change it?
那也没事我肯定是年度最佳妈妈
Oh, that's okay, too. I must be mother of the year!
-波杰克 -我知道如果我告诉它
- BoJack. - I know! What if for 18 years straight
18年来每一天它都是那样的一文不值
I just tell it how worthless it is every day,
令我蒙羞
how it embarrasses me,
如果没有它我的人生会更加美好
how my life would be better if it was never born?
这是个好主意吗也许吧对吗
Would that be a good idea? Probably, right?
把宝宝还给我你这个我丈夫精♥液♥的无用产物
Give me the baby back, you worthless waste of my husband's jism!
-所以你知道我是谁 -控制自己亨丽埃塔
- Oh, so you do know who I am. - Govern yourself, Henrietta.
如果我把这个娃娃扔下阳台
Hey, you think the baby would be okay
它应该不会有事吧
if I threw it over the side of my deck?
也许吧
Probably, right?
波杰克不要
BoJack, don't.
就这么做
Do it.
我开玩笑的给你妈妈
Nah, I'm just kidding around. Here you go, Mom.
不我的手好滑
Oh, no! My hands are so slippery!
不
Oh, no!
不
No!
扔得好
Nice arm.
你为什么要那样做
Why did you do that?
你这个操蛋的垃圾人♥渣♥
You goddamn piece of shit idiot asshole.
你就是这样你总是这样
This is what you do. This is what you always do.
所以妈妈喜欢娃娃多过你
This is why Mom loves Doll more than you.
她是对的娃娃从不伤害别人
She's right. Doll never hurt anybody.
娃娃不会把你扔下山崖
Doll wouldn't throw you over the side of a mountain.
必须弥补我的错误得把娃娃找回来
Gotta make things right. Gotta get Doll back.
先喝一杯然后就去捡娃娃
Okay, one drink. And then, Doll back.
你搞砸了你让女儿讨厌你了
You screw-up. You're making your daughter hate you.
这是好事瞧爱你的人都有什么下场
Which is good, because look what happens when people love you.
看看佩妮赫比还有萨拉·琳
Look at Penny. And Herb. And Sarah Lynn.
这都是因为你让他们爱上你了波杰克
It's because you made them love you, BoJack.
你得做出补救笨马怎样才能补救呢
You gotta fix this, dummy. How can you fix this?
卡洛琳公主她恨死我了
Princess Carolyn? She hates your guts.
陶德不行戴安可以好极了
Todd? No. Diane? Yes! Oh, good.
可靠的好戴安她会知道该怎么办
Good old responsible Diane, she'll know what to do.
"加州等不及了"
"California can't wait."
我现在成爱司基地乐队了吗
Am I Ace of Base right now?
因为我只想再来一杯这个
Because all that I want is another one of these babies.
马男波杰克
BoJack Horseman?
这是威廉·亚当斯风格的名人背书视频吗
What is this, a will.I.Am-style celebrity endorsement video?
音乐人黑眼豆豆创始人
-戴安在哪儿 -她在屋顶上
- Where's Diane? - Oh, she's on the roof.
她见到你肯定很惊喜戴安
Boy, will she be surprised to see you. Diane!
你这个白♥痴♥到底在干什么
What are you doing, idiot?
不能就这样见她她不知道我在这里
No, not like this. She doesn't know I'm here.
她第一次见到我不能是喝醉求助这副样子
First time she sees me can't be drunk asking for help.
-怎么了你需要帮忙吗 -白♥痴♥ 大白♥痴♥
- What's wrong? You need help? - Idiot. Idiot.
你得带我离开这里我车停在哪儿了
You gotta get me outta here. Where did I park?
你现在不应该开车
I don't think you should be driving right now.
不如我模仿埃迪·莫尼今晚送你回家
Why don't I make like Eddie Money and take you home tonight?
美国摇滚歌♥手
我不能回家得先找到娃娃
No, I can't go home. Not without Doll.
再说埃迪·莫尼在成名曲《今晚带我回家》里
Also, Eddie Money doesn't do the taking home
并没有送人回家
in "Take Me Home Tonight,"
所以如果你要送我回家那我才是埃迪·莫尼