马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S04E04

Part 2 Feb. 18, 2020, 10:37 a.m.

She was the president of my fan club, I had sex with her.
我18年来没想起过她
Then I didn't think about her for 18 years,
现在我们要去找她了
and here we are.
圣伯纳德医疗中心
好消息结果出来了
Good news, the results are in!
但坏消息是结果不是很理想
Bad news, the results are bad.
就像猫鼬集♥会♥中的煎蛋卷吧一样
Like an omelet bar at a mongoose convention,
你的卵子[鸡蛋]量非常低
you are running dangerously low on eggs.
我还剩多少
How many do I have left?
打个比方吧比哈利波特系列电影多点
Well, let's just say it's more than Harry Potter movies,
但比007电影少点
but fewer than James Bond movies.
-医生不是吧 -那你的建议是什么
- Doctor, no! - What do you recommend?
你有考虑过让一个年轻点的女性受孕吗
Hmm. Have you considered impregnating a younger woman?
没有我想和这位女士做这件事
No, I want to do it with this woman.
你可以试试砸钱解决问题
You could try throwing money at the problem.
你们会需要孕前维生素宫颈粘液促进剂
You're gonna want pre-natal vitamins, cervical mucus boosters,
"你可以做到的"的海报还有排卵检测仪
a "You Can Do It!" poster, and an iOvulate.
-"排卵检测仪" -希望你还能排卵
- "IOvulate"? - Let's hope so!
这个最新科技的手环能追踪你的排卵期
This state-of-the-art bracelet tracks your cycle
还能显示你排卵的最新进展
and also gives you up-to-date info on your ovulation.
另外这是由哈维·菲斯特恩配音的
Plus, it's voiced by Harvey Fierstein.
美国著名男演员为《花木兰》配过音
你好我是哈维·菲斯特恩
Hello, I'm Harvey Fierstein.
我们来造人吧
Let's put a baby in you.
波杰克
BoJack?
玛尔希你好
Marcy, hey.
我就知道我就知道你会回来的
I knew it. I knew you'd come back.
好吧现在有个很具体的问题
Right. Um... here's a very specific question:
我们做完爱后你有没有可能
after we had sex, did you by any chance
怀了孕然后把孩子给别人收养了
get pregnant and put a baby up for adoption?
-有 -等下真的吗
- Yes. - Wait, really?
天呐你就是我妈妈我能拥抱你吗
Oh, my God, you're my mother. Can I hug you?
我抱住我妈妈了
I'm hugging my mother.
波杰克很抱歉我那时真的很想告诉你
BoJack, I'm sorry, I really wanted to tell you.
但我打给你给我的那个号♥码时
But when I called the number that you gave me,
却打到特曼库拉的一家三明治店里去了
it was for a sandwich shop in Temecula.
什么太奇怪了你肯定是拨错号♥了
Wha...? That's so weird. You must have dialed it wrong.
然后我就想
And then I thought, well,
反正你迟早会打给我的
you know, sooner or later you'd call me.
是是我是准备打给你但遇上了911
Yeah, yeah, I was gonna, but then, you know, 9/11 happened...
-你能原谅我吗 -我原谅你了
- Can you ever forgive me? - I think so.
真抱歉我怎么这么没礼貌快请进
Oh! I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? Please come in.
那时是国家的危难时刻...
And that was just such a tough time for our country...
女生最赞网
点击量排行榜
这些汤会令你发狂
明星被袭臀
六九式的六十九个日夜
我用润滑剂当过唇膏
只要把邪恶的刀具性♥爱♥带进我们的日常生活
So, once we introduced vicious knife-play into our routine,
真的会给性生活增添刺♥激♥感
it really gave our sex life the edge.
真喜欢爱死了
Love it, crooshed it.
所以这篇报道就是说
So the article is just about
性生活和谐的美满婚姻吗
a happy marriage with a healthy sex life?
已经有《拉克尔的六九式的六十九个日夜》了
We already have Raquel's piece about 69 days of sixty-nining.
太赞了
So croosh.
那那些没有和老公过性生活的读者呢
What about our readers who aren't having sex with their husbands?
这不会让她们觉得很不开心吗
Isn't this just gonna make them feel bad?
不是所有人都一直能性福的对吗
Not everyone gets to have great sex all the time, right?
你们说呢
Ladies?
戴安能去你办公室和你谈一会儿吗
Diane? Can I talk to you in your office for a minute?
我没有办公室
I don't have an office.
你说办公室有拐角而拐角就象征着男权
You said offices have corners and corners are the patriarchy.
好吧
Fine.
那我能在热进冷出的瑜伽区和你谈一下吗
Can I talk to you in the hot-take, cool-down yoga area?
做个有用的人
你看起来很紧绷
You seem tense.
你是不是在吃含麸质食物
Have you been eating gluten
而且和老公没有性生活
and also not having sex with your husband?
不要再说"我希望" 告诉自己"我很辣"
斯蒂芬妮不是...
Whoa, Stefani, that's not--
戴安放松这不是员工
Diane, relax! This is not a conversation
和老板之间的对话
between an employee and her superior.
这是场朋友和她老板之间的对话
This is a conversation between a friend and her superior.
这场选举一直在考验我们的婚姻
The campaign has been testing our marriage.
很显然看见花生酱先生这么激动是件好事
Obviously, it's great to see Mr. Peanutbutter so excited,
我也很支持他
and I am supporting that.
但说实话
But if I'm being honest,
我巴不得选举快结束我们好回归正常生活
I can't wait for it to be over so things can go back to normal.
-要是他赢了呢 -他不会赢的
- Hmm. And what happens if he wins? - He's not going to win.
你看了美国有线今早的民♥意♥调查吗
Did you see the new CNN poll this morning?
他能赢大家都很喜欢水力压裂
He could win. People do love fracking.
这样说很有趣
It's fun to say!
"水压水压贱贱的水压"
"Frack! Frack! Fricky-fricky-frack"
如果大家明白它的真正含义
People wouldn't love saying it
就不会喜欢这么说的
if they understood what it actually was.
-那你去告诉大家啊 -我不能反对我老公
- So tell them. - I can't go against my husband.
管它呢为什么不你要做自己
What the frack? Why not? You gotta do you, girl.
我一直都在说你要做自己
I always say, you gotta do you.
如果他在做他自己那谁来做你呢
And if he's doing him, then who's doing you?
因为现在看来没人在做你
Because right now, it seems like no one's doing you.
北好莱坞公♥寓♥
我八岁那年
...and then when I was eight,
我去丽姿·邓巴家过夜
Lizzie Dunbar's mom rented us
她妈妈给我们租了整部《辣妈辣妹》
all Freaky Friday for a sleepover,
我非常伤心因为
and I got really sad because
我没有一个能互换身体的妈妈
I realized I didn't have a mom to switch bodies with.
我是不是讲太多我觉得我讲太多了
Am I talking a lot? I feel I'm talking a lot.
-是的 -我要给你看个东西
- Yes. - Oh! I need to show you something.
好吧这个可能看起来很疯狂
Okay, so this may seem cuckoo,
但我完全痴迷地爱着你♥爸♥爸
but I was so head over heels in love with your father
在我们共度良宵后他没有再打给我
that after we made sweet love, and he didn't call me again,
我醋意大发
I just got so jealous,
列了一张所有和他在一起过的女孩的名单
so I made a list of every girl he was with...
不不不
恨恨恨
丑陋的野兽
找到了她们的家庭住址
and I found their home addresses...
还在她们的眼睛上画叉叉
...and drew Xs over their eyes.
和你聊天很愉快但我要去一下洗手间
I'm loving this conversation but I have to go the bathroom now,
不是因为我觉得
for non-me being weirded out
这场谈话非常不自在
by this conversation-related reasons.
我总是在想如果你给我打电♥话♥了
I just keep thinking about how different things would have been
一切会有什么不同
if you'd have just called me.
我们本可以组成家庭幸福地生活18年
We could have had a family together for 18 loving years.
-其实那可能会... -波杰克
- That actually might have been really-- - BoJack!
孩子啊怎么啦
Kids. What?
可以到卫生间来一下吗
Can you join me in the bathroom for a minute?
什么不行
What?! No!
要我去吗亲爱的
Do you want me, sweetheart?
不是需要爸爸在卫生间解决的事
No, it's a dad bathroom thing.
霍莉霍克
Uh... Hollyhock?
那个女人不是我妈她在骗我们
That woman is not my mother. She's lying to us!
是吗不会吧
Was she? No way!
看这是《纽约之秋》首映式上的照片
Look. This is from the premiere of Autumn in New York.
这部电影2000年8月上映我9月出生
That movie came out in August of 2000. I was born in September.
你觉得她看起来像有八个月身孕吗
Does this woman look eight months pregnant to you?
为什么要在仲夏发布名叫《纽约之秋》的
Why would they release a romantic drama called Autumn in New York
浪漫爱情片
in the middle of summer?
李察·基尔刚拍完《落跑新娘》
Richard Gere had just done Runaway Bride,
薇诺娜·瑞德因《移魂女郎》而炙手可热
Winona Ryder was hot off Girl, Interrupted
-所以公♥司♥开始自大了 -你怎么知道的
- so the studio got cocky. - How do you know all this?
我在网上查的因为看到这张照片的时候
I looked it up on the Internet because I saw this picture
我不明白为什么玛尔希会穿夏季裙装
and got confused why Marcy would wear a summer dress
去看一部名叫《纽约之秋》的电影
to a movie called Autumn in New York.
这是夏季裙装吗我真是不了解裙子
This is a summer dress? I guess I don't know dresses.
波杰克认真点她不是我妈
BoJack, focus! That's not my mom!
这就说明我没联♥系♥她是对的