巅峰拍档（2002）

Top Gear S21E05

Part 5 May 28, 2021, 11:09 a.m.

所以如果取消公交车，对它不再需求...
So if we get rid of buses,remove the demand for buses...
我们又能得到一条额外的车道...双赢
We get an extra lane...everybody wins.
几天后，我们骑车来到Top Gear办公室
A few days later, we cycled to the Top Gear office to discuss
讨论新宣传片的制♥作♥构思
some new ideas for our important public information film.'
我认为片子的主题是要劝说人们放弃搭乘公交车
I think what that does is it dissuades people from using the bus.
是的，但这不现实。能行。不可能
Yes, but it isn't true.It is. It isn't.
能行，有回我坐了趟公交，后来就得了透针眼
It is, I went on a bus once and I got an eye infection.
还有人在公交上得了白喉，佝偻病和坏血病
Some people get diphtheria or rickets or scurvy.
真的。一派胡言，这没用的
They do. It is nonsense, it is not going to work.
之后我给杰瑞米展示了自己的新作
I then showed Jeremy something I'd put together.'
哈罗，车友们
Hello, cyclists
今天我向大家介绍单车维护技巧
I am here today to talk to you about bicycle maintenance.
让我们从单车主要部件讲起
Let's start with the most important part of a bike.
你只需转动这个旋钮
You simply rotate this adjuster
让刹车块几乎触及车圈
until the brake blocks are almost in contact with the wheel.
锁定螺母，然后...
（19分钟后）
Lock it with the nut and then...
链条和牙盘就会贴合在一起
the chain and the sprockets will grind together.
确保头管碗组之间没有松旷
Make sure there is no play in the steering head bearings.
如果有松动，你就会感觉轻微的咔嗒，咔嗒，咔嗒...
If there is, if you can feel a little clunk, clunk, clunk...
这玩意还有多久？很长。究竟多长？
How much more is there of this? Well, quite a lot. How long is this?
58分钟。什么，58分钟的片子？！
58 minutes.What, a 58 minute thing?!
说实在的，它更像一部公益纪录片
It is more a public information documentary, if I am honest.
无语的是，詹姆士另一个想法更烂
Annoyingly, James's other ideas were even worse.'
开拍！
Action!
为啥他穿的像希♥特♥勒♥？因为骑车人要容易识别
Why is he dressed up as Hitler? Because cyclists need to be visible.
骑车的耶稣！
Christ on a bike!
詹姆士，你不能这么拍。我当然能
James, you can't do that.Yes, I can.
当他掏出一枚十字架后
As he brought out a cross,
我扔下他干自己的事去了
I left him alone and went off to work on my own.
在骑行体验日，我发现的一个重要问题是
One of the problems I discovered on my fact-finding bike ride
行人通常察觉不到自行车的靠近
around London is that pedestrians simply don't hear bicycles coming.
他们走出人行道
They step off the kerb,
骑车人避让到公交线
the cyclist has to swerve into the path of a bus.
当场见红，血流如注，残肢断臂，
诉诸公堂，杀人凶手，人间悲剧
Blood, artery gush, burst,court case, murder, disaster.
骑车人，需要发出巨大噪音
Bicycles, therefore,need to be louder.
我的方案是给自行车装上喷射引擎
What I have done is attached to the back of this bike a jet engine.
现在行人绝对能听见我行驶的动静
And now pedestrians can definitely hear me coming.
开车人也能听见
And so can other motorists.
甚至住在地心的居民也能听见
And people in subterranean caves in other countries.
即使聋子都会察觉我的靠近
Even the profoundly deaf would know I was on my way,
他们能从空气的震动中感受到这点
they would feel a disturbance in the force.
当然，另一个显而易见的好处是
Of course,another advantage is, you don't
你不必再理会恼人的脚踏板了
have to do any of that annoying pedalling.
我再次被自己的高智商征服了，就是这样
Again my genius is staggering me,it really is.
噢，天啊，燃料耗尽了
Oh, dear, I am out of fuel.
燃料耗尽了
I have run out of fuel.
就是这么回事
That is what's happened now.
见鬼
Damn.
看，现在它又变成一辆混合动力车
Think of it, really, as a hybrid.
加油
There we go.
接下来几天里，我们尝试了各种想法
For the rest of the day,we tried all sorts of other ideas.'
准备
Here we go.
喔！
Ooh!
这是啥意思？这是自行车祸现场
What's it supposed to be? It's a cyclist after an accident.
我不能拿活人做实验，对吧？
I couldn't use an actual cyclist,could I?
举个例子，两个环形线路，OK？
So for example, the double mini-roundabout, OK?
你从这里出发，像这样走
So you come round here, then it is your right of way going up here.
但...开拍！
But... Action!
努力工作了几天后，我们带着
After a great deal of extremely hard work, we ended up with
完成的新作再次拜访专家组
a couple of films that we could take to our panel of experts.'
展示新作之前，请允许我说明
Before we show them to you,let me say,
还记得我们过去看过的那些公益宣传片吗？
do you remember the early public information films from our youth?
是的。他们总关注一些细节之处
I do. They always picked on some very specific detail.
不要在打蜡的地面铺地毯，不要在高压线下钓鱼
Don't put a rug on a polished floor or don't fish under power lines.
都很短小紧凑
They were very tight.
所以，我们决定也效法前辈
And so, we have tried to focus on very specific details
关注那些我们体验到的细节。我们希望这些...
of cycling that we experience.We hope that erm...
先播这部？好的。OK
This one first? Yes。OK.
切断绿线。看在上帝的份上，不要剪红线
Cut the green wire. For God's sake,do not cut the red wire.
必须剪绿线
（车友们。选红线还是绿线。请做正确决定）
It is imperative to cut the green wire.'
好吧，我想说...我不明白这片子表达了什么...
Well, I mean... I'm not sure we're getting anywhere here...
你们想通过这片子说明什么？
What are you trying to achieve with that?
众所周知，骑车人喜欢闯红灯
Cyclists jump red lights,we know this.
人人都能看见
Everybody has seen that happen.
这就是骑行者不招人待见的原因
It is what annoys people most about bicycles.
这会让道路变得更加秩序，因为骑车人需要
This is making the roads a happier place because cyclists
遵守交规，司机们才会心情舒畅
wait like they are supposed to,car drivers aren't infuriated.
这样骑车人就不会被炸上天了
And cyclists don't get knocked off or indeed blown up.
你们完全没听懂我们话的意思，对吧？
You didn't listen to what we said,did you?
您说过我们要让道路变成一个和谐的地方
You said we had to make the roads a more harmonious place.
炸死骑车人不能契合这条宗旨
Exploding cyclists doesn't really get that message across.
你们完全是在浪费我们的时间。
You're really trying to waste our time today because that is way off.
啥意思，你们希望他们闯红灯？
不，我们没这么想
What, you want them to jump red lights? No, we don't.
我是说那片子，简直无厘头
I'm talking about that commercial,it is absolutely wrong.
好吧，换B方案...好的，好的
Well, let's try... Yes. Yes, please.
这次一定符合你们要求
This may be more to your taste then,I think.
我有一个梦想。所有人都生而平等
I have a dream.That all men are created equal.
马丁路德金博士被枪杀
Dr Martin Luther King was shot
在孟菲斯的一个汽车旅馆内
and killed on the balcony of his motel in Memphis.'
♪ 试想如果世界没有天堂...♪
（约翰·列侬歌♥曲《Imagine》）
♪ Imagine there's no heaven...♪
前披头士乐队主唱约翰·列侬，被发现枪杀于纽约
The former Beatle, John Lennon, has been shot and killed in New York.
♪ 如果你愿意，其实这很简单... ♪
♪ It's easy if you try... ♪
耶稣之死的意义
The righteousness of Jesus Christ.
耶稣为众人的原罪死于十字架
（正义并不能确保安全）
Jesus died on the cross for our sins.
就是说这条也不合格？
So this is a no, isn't it?
就这样，回到演播室吧
And with that,it was back to the studio.
所以...一点办法也没有...好吧。
不。所以，你们彻底弄砸了
So... There is no way... Come on. No.So, you two completely cocked it up.
我不明白我的喷射自行车哪里不好了
I don't know what was wrong with my jet bike.
说实话，你就是给自行车加个发动机
Well, it was a motor on a bicycle
理论上，就是辆摩托车
and therefore it was a "motor" cycle.
才不是摩托车，那是天才之作。它能开多快？
It wasn't a motorcycle,it was superb. How fast did it go?
我测过最快能到73英里每小时（117公里）
At one point I was clocked at 73mph.
是啊，也就是一辆摩托车的速度
Yes, that does sound like the top speed of a motorbike.
他说的没错，你懂的。谢谢。他胡扯
He is right, you know. Thank you.He isn't right.
不论如何，听着，最后我们还是做出一段我们认为
And anyway, listen, eventually we did come up with a film which
能让专家们满意的片子
we think will keep that panel of experts happy.
因为，本质上来说
Because, in essence,it makes everybody happy
它能让看的每个人都高兴
and gooey with everybody else.
让我们看看最终作品
Here we go, let's have a watch.
骑车人浑身湿透，冻得发抖，筋疲力竭
Cyclists get wet, cold and tired.
他们带着汗臭来到办公室
They turn up for work with revolting armpits.
他们的服装愚蠢至极，并且为了防止患上痔疮
Their clothes are hideous,and to prevent boils and sores,
他们不得不给PP涂上凝胶
they have to put gel on their buttocks.
但正因为有75万骑车人每天过着这样
However, because three-quarters of a million people are prepared
悲惨的日子，道路才会少有堵车
to go through this misery every day,there are fewer traffic jams.
没有噪音
The roads are quieter
对普通人来说...
which is good news...
这是件好事
for normal people.
对骑车人。请给他们留出一英寸空间
因为他们能还你一英里坦途
Cyclists. Give them an inch because they have given YOU a mile.
不，1英寸？他们需要6英尺！
No, an inch? They need 6ft！
哈蒙德，这只是种比喻，你个二货
No, Hammond, it is a figure of speech, you idiot.
我不会说，比如，给他们1.85米，那样太荒谬了
I couldn't say, you know, give them 1.85m, that is ridiculous.
事实上，我们解决了自行车问题
The fact is, we have solved cycling.
如果观众没把频道切到另一边的助产节目去
If people weren't watching Call The Midwife on the other side
那么自行车悲剧就不会再发生了
（BBC助产类节目，米兰达·哈特主持）
tonight, there would be no more cycling-related accidents.
你是说