巅峰拍档（2002）

Top Gear S21E04

Part 6 May 28, 2021, 11:09 a.m.

不对？好吧，没事
No? Right, OK, fine.
他一直沉默吗？
Was he completely uncommunicative?'
连个点头都没有
He didn't even nod.
很好！
Yes!
Stig，我可能需要你更多的帮助
Stig, I might need a little bit more from you than this.
好吧，这个按钮没用
OK, right, so that's not working.
用排除法
By process of elimination,
如果松开离合，踩下油门...
if we come off the clutch and press this...
转速提升。没错，油门声。准备好了
Revving. Yeah, that's revving.Getting ready.
手刹没放。听起来很正常
And your handbrake's on.That sounds good.
不，一点也不正常
No, it doesn't.
OK，感觉好多了
OK, this is getting better.
噢，上帝...
Oh, Jesus...
我想说，干的不错
I mean, well done.
我们要把你从那样变得能在赛道上做圈速
But we had to go from that to getting you round a lap
时间很紧张。我觉得自己一开始就失策了...
in the space of an hour.I think my priorities were...
他一定认为我没认真对待
He didn't think that I was taking it seriously,
当我一坐进车里
cos when I first got in the car - a perfectly valid thing,
我就一直想问他
it's the thing I always ask when I get in a car,
有没有带手♥机♥充电器
is whether he had an iPhone charger.
因为我手♥机♥没电了，我想拍点有趣的照片回去
Because mine had died and I wanted to get some photos of the journey
他对此很不高兴
and he wasn't happy about that.
他真太不随和了！
He's so moody!
我又问他有没有老婆，似乎把气氛弄得更冷了
I asked him if there was a Mrs Stig and that didn't go down well.
不，不会的。我猜他需要一个女朋友
No, it wouldn't.That's what he needs
或许他在家很久没得到爱的供养
maybe he's not getting enough of it at home.
我觉得有个人很适合Stig
I thought of the perfect person for The Stig as well
绝对天造地设
match made in Heaven
异次元杀阵里的那个
him and the woman who does the demonstrations on The Cube.
面具女
With the mask.
他们一定很般配！
They would be perfect together!
他们的结晶会是啥样子？
What would the babies be like?
他们的孩子会很拉风！你们节目能做个挑战
The babies would be amazing!You could do it as a challenge
把他们送到费尔南多群岛去！
send them to the Isle of Fernandos!
调侃Stig是不够的
Talking of The Stig not getting enough,
当你17岁时
how, if you're a 17-year-old youth,
你是怎么...载女孩兜风的
do you get any... at all from girls
你连车都不会开？
if you can't drive them anywhere?
是的，很艰难。尤其我成名后
Yeah, it was hard.Especially when I became a stand-up
要参加很多巡演
and it was like, stand-up,you're going around on tours,
很疯狂的生活，好多年轻MM慕名而来
quite rock'n'roll,there would be groupies and stuff,
但我不能带着女粉丝
but it's very hard to pull a groupie
坐着我妈开的车去开房♥
when your mother has driven you to the gig.
于是后来就发展成这样“你想和我回家？
Afterwards, you'd be like, "Yeah,you want to go back to my crib?
我的车就在外面，那辆沃尔沃
"My ride's outside,it's the Volvo just there.
但你只能坐后排，因为我要和老妈坐前排
"You'll have to sit in the back,cos I ride up front with Mummy.
希望你满意广播节目！”
"Hope you like The Archers!"
你现在再做巡演
So when you're doing your gigs now,
不用再让老妈开车送你了吧
presumably your mum doesn't take you around.
不用了，最近一场巡演是我做过规模最大的一场
No，the best thing about this latest tour,
it's the biggest one I've done,
我坐的是大巴，感觉很棒
and I'm going to be in a tour bus,which is amazing.
但我发现一点，旅途中
Cos the worst thing, I find, about doing a tour when you're in a car
不得不用加油站公厕
is having to use petrol station toilets,
但加油站的厕所门把手
cos the lock on a petrol station toilet door
通常是坏掉的
is always broken.
总是关不上，所以我慢慢学会了一套油站如厕大♥法♥
They're always bust, then you have to do that thing which we all do,
通常叫做“厕所瑜伽”
which I call "lavatory yoga"
为了一边方便一边防止有人破门而入
where you work out how to keep the door with a broken lock shut.
是啊
Yeah.
一共有三种方式，第一种“汤姆·戴利式”（英国跳水选手）
There's three main schools of it - you've got the Tom Daley,
探身伸手就像这样
where you lean forward with the arms like that.
用指尖顶住门。
Use the fingertips.
但这种方法不适合我，
因为我上厕所时喜欢玩糖果粉碎传奇（手♥机♥游♥戏♥）
But I can't BLEEP unless I'm playing Candy Crush, so that doesn't work.
第二种方式“老僧拜佛”
Then you've got the Bowing Monk,
把头伸出去顶在门上
where you put your head forward and just use it as a doorstop.
但有时有人急着开门
But someone can, like, knock you out
你会被门撞的头疼
if they're too insistent on getting in.
所以还有第三招，最棒的一招
Then your third option,which is the best one,
我经常用的一招，“孕妇分娩式”
which you should always use,is the Woman In Labour,
把双脚抬起来顶住门
where you plant two feet onto the door.
但我承认这一招在博尔顿的一家油站时
But I committed to this recently in a petrol station
居然失效了，郑重申明
just outside of Bolton,and I'd fully committed,
你一定要先侦查好周围的环境
but you have to be a master of your surroundings,
那次我就没意识到厕所门是两面开的！
I didn't realise the door in question opened both ways!
于是有个比利一样的卡车司机猛的把门拉开
This, like, hairy trucker ripped it off and literally thought
看见了我的全部隐私
I was kind of presenting myself to him!
哈罗！
"Hello!"
好吧，说点新闻...你要在O2体育场演出？
Now, I want to just go on to...Are you playing the O2?
是的，O2体育场，时间是...噢，我忘了几号♥！
I'm playing the O2 on the...Oh, I've forgotten the date!
快点
Come on.
3月17号♥。3月17？
17th March. 17th March?
17或者18号♥。大概
The 17th or 18th March.Like, roughly.
17号♥，这家伙知道，他一定买♥♥了票。17号♥！
17th, he's coming,he's got a ticket. The 17th!
噢，不对，他是演出人员
Oh, no, he works here.
一定去看看...
And there we are, so...
那不是一场普通的演出，有很多惊喜
It's not just going to be a tour,there's plenty of surprises as well.
会有一个前所未有的盛大赛格威入场式
（赛格威：一种两轮电动代步车）
There will be the greatest ever Segway entrance to a stand-up tour
你骑赛格威？
the world has ever seen.Somebody's putting you on a Segway?
是的，值得一看
I'm on a Segway, yeah.Well, that's worth going to see.
所有喜剧巡演的必备元素你都能看见
It's got everything you'd want from a stand-up comedy tour.
好吧，说回赛道
Anyway, the lap.
需要解释一下，你最后使用了自动档车，而不是手动档
I ought to explain, you did actually ditch the manual, didn't you,
for the lap and go to an automatic?
是的，因为只有自动档才能让我跑完一圈
Yeah, I thought that was best cos I wanted to get all the way around it.
但自动档的成绩是不可能...
The only trouble with an automatic is you're not going to...
你也没可能排到较高的位置，随便了，
所以...不要在意这些细节
You'll probably not get very high up that anyway, so...
Let's not worry too much about that.
有谁想看看他的教学成果？
Who here would like to see the result of your driving lesson?
是的！放片。噢，亲爱的
Yeah! Here we go. Oh, dear.
初次上阵
Flying solo for the first time.
上吧，杰克。你就是二环十三郎！
Come on, Jack.You are a king of speed!
看得出，你有些紧张。很紧张
We shall see, you look a bit frightened. I was very frightened.
进弯。听着真难受
You've steered round that one.It sounds awful.
噢，天啊！滑出去了
Oh, good God! And off.
这也算成绩吗？是的，没错，你还在赛道...
That counts though, doesn't it?Yes, yes, yes, you're still...
说实话，Stig教我的东西全是（和谐音）！
To be honest, a lot of what The Stig says is BLEEP!
这真是...噢！
It's really just about... Oh!
我猜没人知道你说的是啥，芝加哥弯
I guess we'll never know,as we do Chicago,
接着是锤子弯。你要去哪？
heading down to the Hammerhead.Where are you going?
线路完全错误...噢，真想吐
That's completely the wrong...Oh, I feel so sick.
你把自己恶心着了？我晕车了
You made yourself sick!I made myself sick.
来到锤子弯...唔！
And here we go,round the Hammerhead... Whoops!
看起来还不错。不敢恭维...哦！
That was quite good.Not really... Ooh!
要抓紧方向盘啊
The big circular thing is necessary there in front of you.
油不够了吗？
Is it low on petrol?
它一直在响
Cos it kept beeping.
一直响？
Right, so, it was beeping at you?
别朝那边开！轮胎墙
Don't go off there! Tyres.
这个弯不错
This one was good.
噢，带了一脚刹车！
Oh, braking there!
胆子真大，因为那会让前驱车
That's ballsy because that can upset the rear end
产生摆动
in a front-wheel-drive car
可能你听不懂我的话
and I may be talking French as far as you're concerned there.
最后一弯，能顺利过去吗？
Only Gambon to go and can you do it?
噢，等等，是的，你做到了！冲线！
Oh, wait a minute, yes, nearly,you can! Across the line!
我做到了
I got there.
早上来之前
When you bear in mind that you arrived this morning having
你只开车去过一次肉铺...是的
driven a car once to the butchers and back... Yeah.
而在这上过一次课就能做到这样
And then you had a lesson and then put that together,