巅峰拍档（2002）

好的，詹妮弗...
Well, Jennifer...
有你的！
Funny!
是的，如果各位看了上周的节目，杰瑞米说了
Yeah, if you were watching last week,Jeremy did say on the show,
就在电视上，如果保时捷918比迈凯轮P1快
on TV, that if the Porsche was faster than the McLaren,
他会改名叫詹妮弗。是的
he would change his name to Jennifer.Yes.
对吧，詹妮弗？但是，它做不到。跟你讲，我感觉918是这样的
Didn't you, Jennifer? Well, it won't be. See, I think it might just be.
说实话，这车...快的让人胆颤
Honestly, it... It's staggering Really.
它的加速感不像其它车那样
It doesn't accelerate like most other cars.
你不会觉得它的加速
You are not conscious of it
是伴着转速提升而逐渐提高的
gaining speed through the gear as the revs rise.
它不像这样加速“噢 - 啊！”
It doesn't go, "Ohhh-aaahhh!"
它的速度直接像这样“啊啊啊啊！”
It just goes straight to, "Aaaaargh!"
但是，哈蒙德...什么？
But, Hammond... What?
迈凯轮比保时捷的动力更强
the McLaren has more power than the Porsche
体重更轻。我知道
and is lighter than the Porsche。I know.
但是听着，詹妮弗，保时捷有四轮驱动系统
But listen, Jennifer,the Porsche has four-wheel-drive
以及四轮转向系统，并且在我们赛道上的表现...
and four-wheel steer and on our track...
它会输给迈凯轮
It will lose.
听着，我承认纳粹空军飞行员对他们的
Listen, I'm sure the Luftwaffe were very proud
梅塞施密特109战斗机非常骄傲和自豪
and pleased with the Messerschmitt Me 109.
那是种很优秀的战斗机。是的，但它没有...
That was a damn good aeroplane.Yes, but it wasn't...
它没有喷火式战斗机优秀！
It wasn't as good as the Spitfire!
不，梅塞施密特109能做负过载机动动作
No, you could do negative G in the Messerschmitt 109.
梅，你怎么和他一样讨厌！我会让它会输得很难看
May, you are as bad as he is! That is going to be humiliated.
我们会赢得胜利。我说“我们”，指的是我们英国...
We are going to win. When I say we,Britain is going to...
我们都是爱国人士，那没错
I'm all for patriotism,that's great,
但你必须面对事实。这车很棒
but you've just got to face facts.The thing is astonishing.
它的精髓在于如何控制三台引擎一起...给我闭嘴！
It's about how it manages those three engines... Shut up about it!
我赞同你的爱国情怀
I'm with you about the British thing,
但我同样希望保时捷能赢，詹妮弗
but I sort of hope the Porsche wins, JENNIFER.
不管怎样，最近新闻里充斥着各种洪水之后
Anyway look，The news has been filled with a lot of scenes
灾民冲镜头挥手求援的场面
of flood victims all waving their arms around
“噢，不，我们该怎么办？”
and going, "Oh, no,what are we going to do?"
就像世界末日一样
End of the world really.
这场面让我很失望，因为解决的方法
I mean, it certainly makes me very sad because the answer,
非常简单
as we all know, is simple.
你买♥♥辆福特全顺，在地板上挖个大洞
You buy a Ford transit van,cut a big hole in the floor,
卸掉后门，放个引擎进去，加上风扇，裙边
take the back doors off, couple of engines in it, fans, skirts,
然后开到水上，这样它就沉了。没错
put it in the water, it sinks.That's true.
之后你再买♥♥辆全顺，弄台更大的引擎
You get another transit van,more powerful engines,
一番大改。就像这样
totally redesigned. Here we go.
表现完美。这就是解决方案
And it works perfectly.That is the solution.
我们六个月前就预测到了这场洪水并且给出了解决方案
We predicted these floods six months ago and came up with the solution.
但令我们失望的是每个人
But what is really annoying is that everybody
都在抱怨戴维·卡梅伦（英国首相），环境署
is blaming the floods on David Cameron, the Environment Agency
以及更多你可以抱怨的对象...
pretty much anything you can name...
恩，我知道谁最应该
Mm-mm, I know exactly who is to blame
对这种情况负责
for this problem everybody is having.
米兰达·哈特（英国演员、作家、喜剧演员）
Miranda Hart.
你们都笑了，但事实是
You laugh, but here's the thing
虽然每周日晚上我们坐这陪着各位
We are sitting here now on a Sunday evening.
可还是有8、9百万英国人选择观看
Eight, nine million people in Britain have chosen to watch
另一个频道的1950年助产教学片
some 1950s midwifery on the other side,
以至于他们从没说过我们的气垫车
so they don't know about the hover-van.
这是个问题
That is the problem.
他们宁愿看米兰达也不看我们的节目，
They have chosen Miranda over us and our show is
即使我们节目充满了各种有用的小贴士和消费建议。每周如此！
rammed full of helpful hints and useful consumer advice. Every week!
换个话题，嘿，盖拉多已经生产多久了
Now, hey, listen, how long has the Gallardo been in production
有17000年历史了吧？有了？有了
17,000 years? Just over? Just over.
我知道它们在史前文明时就已经在产了。是的
I know there are cave drawings of it in the Pyrenees. There are.
如今兰博基尼宣布他们将停产盖拉多
Well, Lamborghini has announced they are stopping making it
并发布全新换代车型。它叫“胡拉坎”（飓风）
and are going to replace it with this. It's called the Huracan.
600马力，5.2升排量V10引擎，四轮驱动
600 horsepower, 5.2 litre V10,four-wheel-drive.
没任何新鲜玩意
None of that is interesting
因为如果你痴迷于速度、马力、操控感
because if you're interested in speed and power and handling,
你会选择法拉利458或者迈凯轮12C，对吧？
you're going to buy a Ferrari 458 or a McLaren 12C, aren't you?
而选择兰博基尼的唯一理由是它们看起来很疯狂
The only reason you want to buy a Lamborghini is because it looks mad.
虽然这车看起来疯狂，但我认为它疯狂的还不够
And that's very nice, but I don t think it's bonkers enough.
我明白你的意思。它看起来很漂亮，但是...
I know what you mean.It looks nice, but...
是的，它还要长得更疯狂。是的
Yeah, it needs to be outrageous.It does.
如果一个人没喝下两大瓶苦艾酒
Nobody should be allowed to design a Lamborghini
他就没资格担任兰博基尼设计师
unless they've just consumed two bottles of absinthe.
像这样！
Now you're ready!
这里面的精髓是
The essence of it is,
一辆兰博基尼不在于它的驾驶感如何
it doesn't really matter how a Lamborghini drives
因为兰博基尼是用来在城市里招摇过市的
because a Lamborghini is for prowling around the city
法拉利是用来在银石赛道刷圈速的
Ferraris are for doing a 2.35 around Silverstone.
兰博基尼适合徘徊于凌晨2点35的骑士桥附近
（骑士桥：伦敦市中心西部繁华商业街）
Lamborghinis are for doing Knightsbridge at 2.35am.
是的，是的
Yes, yes.
最近，政♥府♥正为一种新的气体头疼
Now, there's a new type of gas which is worrying the government.
是氰化物？不。二氧化碳吗？
Is it cyanide? No.Is it carbon dioxide?
不，曾经是二氧化碳。怎么说呢
No, it used to be carbon dioxide.Now the days where
我都难以启齿
I can hardly bring myself to say this.
他们担心的是氮氧混合气
They are very worried about a terrifying new combination of nitrogen and oxygen.
什么，你是说空气？是的
What, you mean air? Yes.
空气99%成分是由这两种气体构成
99% of the air that we breathe is nitrogen and oxygen,
但政♥府♥有关部门现在为这点破事瞎操心
but the government has got his knickers in a twist about it,
尤其是氮氧化物，我事先补了点化学知识
specifically about nitrogen dioxide and I've done some checking.
抱歉
Bear with me on this.
它们大多来自土壤、锅炉
It mostly comes from soil or stoves
以及柴油车在市中心行驶的工况排放，知道吗？
or particularly from lorries in stop-start city driving, OK?
所以政♥府♥决定解决这个问题
So the government has decided to address the problem
他们把谢菲尔德市旁的M1公路限速降到60英里
(英格兰南约克郡城市)
by limiting cars to 60mph on the M1 just outside Sheffield.
这就是他们的解决办法。但这和减排毫无关系！
That's their solution.But that's got nothing to do with it!
就像说“我牙痛
Isn't that like saying,"I've got toothache,
我要去理个发，那样牙就不痛了”
I think I'll go and have a hair cut. That will sort it."
大夫，我扭伤了脚。你得穿上件小马甲
Doctor, I've twisted my ankle."You must put on a bomber jacket"
实际上，有关部门表示“这是整个欧洲的法规，
The thing is, they actually say "Well, it's as European law,
所以我们必须限速”
so we have to lower the speed limit."
德国不这么干，法国不这么干，
意大利也不这么干，只有英国这么做
Germans aren't, French aren't,Italians aren't, only we are.
我知道究竟怎么回事了
And I know exactly what's happened here.
政♥府♥里有些这样的人，你懂的...
You've got some guy in the government, you know...
你知道那种类型。噢，是的，没错
You know the type. Oh, yes, right.
OK，现在，他有权利降低限速
OK, now, he has the power to lower the speed limit
禁止车内有儿童时父母不准吃三明治
and stop parents eating sandwiches in cars if kids are present,
但他真需要做的事情是行使女王的权利
but what he needs to do is take a leaf out of the Queen's book.
什么，嫁给希腊人？不！
What, marry a Greek? No!
宪法赋予女王
The Queen has the constitutional power
对他国宣战的权利
to declare war on another country,
但她从没用过
but she never does.
甚至一场派对结束之后她有点...
Even after a big party where she's a bit...
所有伙伴都怂恿她
and all her mates are egging her on.
上啊，莉兹！去宣战！她真会那么做吗？
Go on, Liz! Declare war on someone!" Can she really do that?
是啊，她有权利那么干，但从未做过。
“哈罗，是奥朗德（法国总统）阁下吗？
Yes, she can do that, but she doesn't. "Hello is that Mr Hollande?
我是英国女王。我们正处于战争时期！”
我每周都这么干！
"This is the Queen. WE ARE AT WAR!"I'd do that every week!
她能这么干。我都会这么干...我会每天都...
She could do that. I'd be constant... I'd do it every...
噢，天啊，我都干了些什么？
Oh, God, what have I done?"
没错，我想成为喝醉酒的女王！
Yeah, I would love to be a drunk Queen!
我意思是...
I didn't mean...
继续下个话题好吗？好的。好的
Shall we move it on? Yes. Yes.
每周，我们都收到数千封观众来信
Every week, we receive thousands of letters from people that say
他们说“亲爱的TopGear节目组，为什么你们从不测试些
Dear Top so-called Gear,why do you never test the sort of
普通人买♥♥得起的车呢？”
affordable cars that normal people are likely to buy and drive?"
好吧，实际上，我们想这么做。但制片人不让
Well, the truth is, we would love to. But the producers won't let us.
让人挺遗憾，因为和大多数人一样
It's frustrating,because contrary to public opinion,
我们很喜欢小巧、方便的小型车
we really do like small,sensible little cars.
他家有一辆菲亚特熊猫。我家有一辆菲亚特500
I mean, he has a Fiat Panda.I have a Fiat 500.
是的，我则有一辆小巧的梅赛德斯AMG