巅峰拍档（2002）

which means that people pull up at the pump
直接去逛超♥市♥了
and then go and do their shopping.
是的，这就是我今天早上迟到的原因
Well, that is exactly why I was late this morning,
因为正要轮到我加油的时候
cos I pulled up behind the car that was at the pump
我看见前面是个大姐
ready for my turn and I knew who it was through the window
她带着四个满满的大朔料袋从超♥市♥出来
it was a woman and she was doing the whole weekly groceries shop
里面装了一个星期的日用品
and she came out with the four massive carrier bags,
这时我欣慰的想“终于到我了”
and I thought, "That's finally it,"
然后她又朝ATM机走去...噢...
and then she went to the cash machine... Oh...
从一大堆票♥据♥里取出信♥用♥卡♥
sorted out Greece's national debt with her card.
我是个耐心的人，但甚至连我...我都会有这种想法
I am a patient man, but even I...I was thinking,
“真想把你裹上一层麻袋
"I want to put your head in a brown paper bag and bludgeon you to death
再拿把没开刃的斧头敲死你”
"with the blunt end of an axe."
想法真邪恶。你知道吗？我的疑问是
That's quite bad. Do you know? My question is petrol stations is
我想这么问，大部分女士
and we could ask this here，and it's mostly women,
你们从坐进车里，到驾车离开这十五分钟里
what do you do in the 15 minutes between getting into the car
都在干些啥？
and driving off?
我知道，我知道。你知道什么？我见过这样的女人
I know what it is, I know what it is. What? I watched it.
她们通常转身把包放到后排的座椅上
She turned round and she put her handbag on the back seat,
摆得好好的，然后围着它捣鼓老半天
fair enough, but then interfered with it for some time.
究竟在干啥？
Doing what, though?
我猜她们是想确保包不会从车座上掉下来
I suspect women try to make sure their handbag doesn't fall over,
要是这样我就更不理解了，
因为女人的包里从来都杂乱无章
which I don't understand, because women's handbags are not well organised,
所以掉下来也无所谓
so it doesn't matter if it falls over.
我觉得即使把一块砖头塞进她们的包里
I reckon I could put a house brick in a woman's handbag,
她们也永远不会察觉。你带着包来的吗？
and she would not know it was there ever. Have you got handbag with you?
没有。你没带？谁带了包？我把它放在家里了
No. You haven't? Anyone got handbag? It's in the home.
真遗憾，因为我正想做个游戏
That's a shame,because I was going to do this game.
我会拿出我的车钥匙
I was going to put my car keys,
这周我开的是辆捷豹，我会把它放进你的包
and it's a jag this week,in your handbag and then,
如果节目结束之前你能找到它，车就归你
if you could find them by the end of the show, you could have the car.
我打赌你不会找到
You wouldn't be able to.
两个狂躁男围着加油站大发牢骚
Two angry old men rampaging on about petrol stations.
一个穿着土鳖的羊毛衫，一个...什么也没穿
Him and his cardigan, him...just him.
最近，如各位所知，在长达13年之后
Now, as I'm sure you know,after 13 years,
英军即将从阿富汗撤离
the British military forces are pulling out of Afghanistan.
但各位有所不知的是这次撤离行动是继二战后
What you may not know is that that operation has been the biggest deployment
英国♥军♥用车辆最大规模的一次海外调动
of British military vehicles since World War ll.
把所有这些车辆带回来是一项艰巨的任务
Now, bringing that lot home is quite a big job,
所以我全副武装前往阿富汗一探究竟...上路吧
so I packed my tin helmet and went out there to... get in the way.
如果你想了解英国在阿富汗战场的投入
If you want to get a sense of just how big the British involvement
究竟有多大
in Afghanistan has become,
你绝对要看看它在这最大的军事基地 - 堡垒营
you just have to look at the size of its main base - Camp Bastion.
当英军2006年首次来这时
In 2006,when British forces arrived here,
这里只是矗立着几顶帐篷的沙漠，但现在，瞧
it was just a scrap of desert with a few tents in, but now look.
它的面♥积♥已经赶上雷丁大学了
It's the size of Reading.
在长达25英里（40公里）的防爆混凝土围墙内
And inside its 25 miles of blast-proof perimeter wall
几处舒适军营的旁边
alongside the few comforts of home,
整齐的停放着一片威武的装甲车
you'll find a vast armada of vehicles.
全盛时期，这里的军车超过5000辆
At its peak, the number was 5,000.
我们现在能看到其中一些
We've got a few of them here.
各位从新闻报道中或多或少都听过一些它们的名字
The names will be dimly familiar from news reports.
那是“背脊犬”装甲运兵车，那是“獒”式装甲运兵车
That is a Ridgeback,that is a Mastiff,
那是“猎狐犬”轻型装甲巡逻车，
那辆颜色最淡的是“爱斯基摩犬”快速反应装甲车
then you have a Foxhound,the pale-coloured one is a Husky,
那边有履带且长相奇怪的是“疣猪”全地形车
and that weird-looking thing with the tracks on over there, that is a Warthog.
别期望哪辆车有熊猫或嘉年华这样可爱的名字
Don't expect cute and cuddly names like Panda or Fiesta
所有车都以犬类命名，除了“疣猪”
everything here is named after a dog, except the Warthog,
以疣猪命名
which is named after a warthog.
为了保证这些车能随时出动，军方建造了这所巨大的维修站
'To keep the wheels turning, the Army has built this enormous workshop,
满负荷时期，
这里堆放了价值六千万英镑的备件（595890000人♥民♥币）
'which, at full strength,carries £60 million worth
并且150名机械师日夜进行维护
'of spares and employs 150 mechanics.
堡垒营甚至建了一个特殊用途的驾驶训练场
Bastion even has its own purpose-built driver training ground,
由一小队驾驶专家进行这里的日常训练活动
approved by a squad of driving instructors.'
整个军营的规模令人如此震撼
The sheer size of this operation is truly impressive,
但同样令人震撼的还有阿富汗战争
but equally fascinating is what the Afghanistan campaign has done
留给英军装甲部队的伤痕
to Britain's military vehicles.
这场战争改变了整整一代人的命运
'It has brought about the biggest change in a generation.
当英军第一次来到这里时，他们主要的运输车辆
'When the British first arrived here, their staple patrol vehicle,
是路虎卫士，在面对路边炸♥弹♥的威胁时惨不忍♥睹
'the Snatch Land Rover, offered woeful protection against IEDs.
单在2009年中，79名战士牺牲在这种车辆里
'In 2009 alone, 79 soldiers fell victim to such devices.'
29吨♥重的美制“背脊犬”装甲运兵车是个不错的选择
The 29-tonne American-made Mastiff offered a quick fix,
但在利明顿温泉镇
'but in Leamington Spa,
一小群英国工程师造了一种更先进的装甲车
'a small British firm devised a more 21st-century solution.'
这是设计巧妙的“猎狐犬”装甲巡逻车
This is a Foxhound and it's very clever,
因为这车不带任何装甲模块
because it's actually made out of armour.
不像其它装甲车挂满了装甲片
It's not a normal vehicle to which armour plate has been added.
它由一体式装甲构成，你可以这么理解
It's sort of armour monoblock,if you like.
“猎狐犬”的V型车身能有效抵挡路边炸♥弹♥爆♥炸♥
'The Foxhound also has a V-shaped hull to deflect mine blasts
由于先进的装甲设计，
'and thanks to its state-of-the-art armour, it weighs
它重量只有7.5吨♥
'just seven and a half tonnes,
这让它面对恶劣环境时身轻如燕
'which makes it a featherweight around these parts.'
就驾驶感而言它很像一辆普通越野车
To drive, is pretty much like an off-road car.
这车感觉像只敏捷的野羊
It's a positive mountain goat,this thing.
历史会记住那些
'Now, history will record that government bureaucrats
在阿富汗战争问题上反应迟缓的
'dragged their heels over the military vehicle crisis
政♥府♥官僚们
'in Afghanistan,
但设计“猎狐犬”的工程师们没有如此
'but the boffins who developed the Foxhound certainly didn't.'
这车从设计、制♥造♥、测试、验证
This machine was designed,engineered, tested, proved
到最终大规模列装仅仅用了三年多时间
and got on the ground in large numbers in just over three years.
只相当于一款家用车研发时间
Try doing that with a small hatchback or something.
当我还在体验猎狐犬时...
'Alongside the Foxhound...
..部队正策划着一场
'..the military drew on a policy
代号♥紧急行动的作战计划，简称UOR
'called Urgent Operational Requirement or UOR,
如大家所见，士兵们正在集♥合♥
'which saw them combine operational demands
重要的警示标语也摆在了显眼位置
（keep off the grass：远离草丛）
and the best vehicle-related suggestions from soldiers on the ground.'
这里是一个UOR的简单例证 - 我现在驾驶着一辆“背脊犬”装甲车
Here's a very simple example of UOR - this is a Mastiff.
车身侧面装备了旋转摄像头
It's got cameras mounted on the sides.
巴兹指挥官能从车内监控外面的状况
Commander Buzz here can look at the pictures on his screen.
在最初的型号♥上，它们是固定的
On the early ones,they were originally mounted.
所以当你驶过一片村庄后，它们就被子弹打烂了
When you went through things like villages, they got smashed.
于是有人提议“为什么不给它们装上转轴呢？”
So somebody said,"Why not put them on a hinge?"
后来他们就这么干了
So they did.
有时部队需要车辆在夜里保持行踪隐蔽
'Soldiers also needed their vehicles to be more stealthy in the dark.
所以他们又给车加装了夜视系统
'So a night-vision system was developed
这样他们就能在夜里关灯行军
'that would allow them to switch off their headlights.'
我现在驾驶着“背脊犬”行驶在黑暗中
I'm now driving the Mastiff completely blacked out
但眼前的这台夜视仪对我帮助巨大
but using the night-vision system suspended in front of my face.
感觉太神奇了
And this is quite amazing.
现在它是我的眼睛。如果没这块屏幕我就是个瞎子
This is actually my eyes. I can't see a single thing through the windscreen.
这些车灯发出的是红外光
'These lamps on the outside are infrared
它们照亮了周围环境
'and illuminate the surrounding area.
我们的夜视系统能接收到这些光
'Our camera can see the light they emit,
但人眼却无法察觉
'but it's invisible to the naked eye.'
必须强调一点，通常行军不会打开这些车内照明
We ought to point out that normally,
we wouldn't even have these red interior lights on.
这只是为了我们拍摄需要
Those are there so our cameras are working properly.
事实上，你能驾驶着它...
But actually,you could drive this...
我们完全可以让车内一片黑暗，是吧？是的，完全黑暗，没错
we could be completely black in here,couldn't we? Yeah, complete blackout, yeah.
好的，我错过了这些...
Right, so I've missed those...
这些是什么，是石头还是...？
what are those, are they rocks or are they...?
是的，就在你前面
Yeah, they're just in front of you.
路线校正中，长官
Straightening up, sir.
看见前方土丘了吗？是的
See that compound ahead of us? Yeah.
选边绕过去
You want to be going round to the left of right.
清晰得如同白昼
I can see that as clear as day.
这是套神奇的设备，对吧？太神奇了，不是吗？
It's a good piece of kit, isn't it? It's brilliant, isn't it?
如今，像“背脊犬”这种级别的装甲车
'Now, on a machine is heavily armoured is a Mastiff,
能有效抵御路边炸♥弹♥袭击
'the protection against roadside bombs is good.
但阿富汗战场上还有其它问题需要解决
'But Afghanistan threw up another issue that needed sorting.'