泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E01

Part 9 Jan. 15, 2024, 7:35 p.m.

拜托等等
Come on. Wait.
嘿布莱尔能跟你聊几句吗
Hey, Blair e, uh, can we talk to you for a sec?
好呀
Sure.
在我无家可归之前还是有几分钟时间的
Got a couple minutes before I become homeless.
嘿听着布莱尔真的很对不起
Hey, listen, Blair e. Uh, I'm really sorry.
我也很对不起
Me too.
嗯现在道歉有点晚了
Yeah, well, it's a little late for that.
我们没想把你逼走
We didn't want you to have to leave.
即便你的床只有台球桌那么点
Even if your bed is the size of a pool table
那个差不多就是
I mean, that's probably about
台球桌大小吧
the size of a pool table, right?
闭嘴泰迪
Shut the fuck up, Teddy.
我们知道你生气是因为爸爸把你赶出去了
Look, we know you're mad because Dad gave you the boot.
是但我生气不是因为这个
But -- - Yeah, that's not why I'm mad.
你都不知道我为什么生气
You have no idea why I'm mad
你知道为什么明明去投奔我自家人开车45 分钟就能到
Do you know all the details of why I've been living here
我却住到这里了吗
when my own family lives 45 minutes away?
我开车上下学很方便的
I could easily commute to school,
但我家里人很差劲每个人都很差劲
but my family is fucked, every one of them.
如果你不了解事情全貌
In case you don't get the scope of things,
我爸你叔叔伯尼是个酒鬼兼混♥蛋♥
my dad, your Uncle Bernie, is a drunk and an asshole
我妈是个精神病我哥在坐牢
my mom's a psycho lunatic, and my brother's in prison
天那你的狗呢
Jesus. What about your dog?
死了
Dead.
草
Fuck.
我爸妈没得救了但
Mom and Dad are lost causes, but.
我很努力想保护凯文
I tried so hard to protect Kevin.
可没能保护成
And I couldn't.
他有那样的家长所以现在他因
He's his parents'son, so now he's serving ten years
持枪抢劫菲尔兹太太
for robbing a Mrs. Fields at gunpoint
以及持有可♥卡♥因♥被判10 年监禁
and possession of crack.
我是说菲尔兹夫人和毒品
Well, I mean, Mrs. Fields and crack.
有什么区别呢对吧
It's like what's the difference, right?
麻烦继续
Please, continue.
是这样我只是
Look, I just --
我不希望同样的事发生在你身上
I don't want the same thing to happen to you.
当初我搬过来就告诉自己
And when I moved here, I told myself
我会照顾好你
that I was gonna look after you
确保该死的本内特家族基因
and make sure the fucked up Bennett DNA
不会影响到你
didn't get to you too.
可相反我把你拉进了
And instead, I introduced you
毒品的奇妙世界
to the wonderful world of drugs
我没生你气明白吗我在生自己的气
I'm not mad at you, all right? I'm mad at myself.
布莱尔我
Look, Blaire, I --
我从没想过你会这么照顾我
I never expected you to look out for me like that.
保重照顾好自己好吗
Just take care of yourself, all right?
我们这个家族有毒
Our family is poison.
要比他们强
Do better than them.
你打算去哪儿
Where you gonna go?
去莎拉那里住几周
Stay with Sarah for a few weeks.
大♥麻♥边上有块空地可以睡
There's an open spot near the sativa.
之后就不知道了
But after that, I don't know.
回见
See you.
天洛莉·拉芙琳太他妈绝了
God, Lori Loughlin's fucking gorgeous.
这女人没得挑
That woman can do no wrong
嘿别打飞机啊
Hey, don't start jerking off
那张海报可不是用来打飞机的
Hey, that poster is not for jerking off
是用来幻想婚姻的你个变♥态♥
It's for imagining being married, you sick fuck.
没错
- Wow. - Yeah!
你想象过婚礼吗
You --you've imagined the wedding?
当然了
Well, yeah.
《人物》杂♥志♥封面照就是我们
The cover of " People " ma gazine's a photo of us
写着"拉芙琳现在又是何人"
and it says, " Who's Loughlin now?"
就是说你入赘
So you took her name?
不是但杂♥志♥得要大卖♥♥嘛
No, no. But they need to sell copies.
挺不错的你既能勃起
Well, it's good to know you can be both erect
还懂市场营销策略
and market-savvy.
泰迪布莱尔所处的情况
Teddy, this whole Blaire situation
真的很糟糕
is really shitty.
是我知道
Yeah, I know.
我都不知道她是这么看我的
I mean, I never knew she thought of me that way.
像是对待弟弟一样
It's like a little brother.
我一直都很想要个哥哥或者姐姐
I always wanted a brother or a sister,
而她就在那里一直都在
and there she was, right there all along
是啊
Yeah.
也许除去那些种族主义的抱怨之外
I guess under all that complaining about racism
她本质还是个很好的人的
there's actually a good person in there.
泰迪我们得做点什么这是我们的错
Teddy, we gotta do something. I mean, this is our fault.
也许我可以去跟爸爸谈谈让他改变心意
Like, may be I can talk to Dad, get him to change his mind.
嗯祝你好运他听不进去的
Yeah, good luck. He's never gonna listen.
我们不能干躺在这里
I mean, we can't just lay here
任由她受折磨
and let her get fucked over.
肯定是能做点什么的
There's gotta be something we can do.
等下你知道吗
Wait a minute. You know what?
还真能
There is.
我们去把盒子开了
We are gonna open the box.
给你我就在外面
There you go. I'll be right outside.
完事儿了叫我
Just let me know when you're finished
谢谢- 谢了
Thank you. - Thanks
你知道吗
Did you know that
现在的纺织聚合物特别薄以至于有人可以
textile polymers are so thin nowadays that someone could be
穿成人尿布没人能看出来
wearing an adult diaper and no one would even know it?
什么
What?
没有厚重的衬垫
No bulky padding
裤子也不会难看的鼓起来
no unsightly bulges in the trousers.
我不知道
I--I didn't know that. No.
很神奇的
It's amazing.
一个人随便谁都可以一边跟你说着话
A person, anyone could be talking to you
一边释放着自己
and relieving themselves at the same time.
而你永远都不会知道
And you'd never even know it.
行吧
Ok.
这是个非常棒的事情
And that's great news.
你是穿着尿布呢吗
Are you wearing a diaper?
才没有别搞的这么奇怪
No. Don't make this weird
好吧
OK.
我只是想说
I'm just saying
技术发展到这个地步
the technology has come so far
限制几乎就不存在了
that limits practically don't exist.
关键在于要有信心
It's all about confidence.
所以去开长途车
So take that long car ride
爬山续满那杯冰茶吧
climb that mountain, have that iced tea refill.
我们会的
We --we will.
什么限制
What limits?
天我们得换家银行
Jesus, we gotta switch banks.
嗯必须的
在这里了
Here it is.
嗯
Yep
你确定我们要这么做哈
You're sure you wanna do this, right?
一旦被老爸发现你有这个
I mean, once Dad finds out you have it,
就没法回头了再也回不去了
there's no going back, like ever.
他会疯了的
He's gonna go nuts.
所以我没跟他提过啊
That's why I never told him
也许在内心深处
I guess deep down,
我留着就是为了等这么一天的
I was saving it for a day like this
危急关头希望渺茫
when the chips were down and all hope seemed lost
好吧
OK.
很好动手吧
Good, Let's do it
好了我们完事儿了
1134 All right, we're done!
先生
Sir?
帮我把1080号♥箱子打开
- I need you to open box 1080.
里面有条牛仔裤