泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E07

Part 5 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:39 a.m.

Whatever, I tried.
把我胸罩拿来
Just give me my bra back.
现在你知道我都是填的了
Now you knowl
泰迪我们还漏了点东西
Teddy, we're missing something here
什么
What?
如果她玩的不开心
How am I even supposed to get to the sex
我们还怎么走到上♥床♥这一步啊
if she doesn't have a good time?
我压根都没计划过约会的事
I mean, I haven't even planned the fucking date.
约翰尼你会带她经历
Johnny, you are gonna take her
这辈子最棒的一次约会
on the best date of her life.
什么意思要怎么做
What do you mean? How?
你的泰迪熊宝会帮你搞定一切的
Your teddy bear's got you covered.
嗨贝瑟尼
Hey, Bethany.
这是给你的
This is for you.
泰迪
Ted?
这是什么
What's this?
你今晚约会的行头
Your attire for the evening.
我穿的就是今晚约会的衣服
Wh- - I- I'm wearing my outfit for the evening.
约翰呢
Where's John?
他已经在你的
He awaits you
飞毯上等你了
on your flying carpet.
约翰真不敢相信你做了这一切
Oh, John, I- I can't believe you did this.
这毕竟是我们的初次约会
Yeah, well, it's our first date
我想要它特别一点
I wanted to make it special.
我得跟你坦白
I have sort of a confession to make.
怎么了
What is it?
我还没看过《阿♥拉♥丁》
I still haven't seen"Aladdin. "
天你认真的吗
Aw, man. Are you serious?
我以为所有女孩都喜欢这电影的
I thought, like, every girl loved that movie.
我的朋友都喜欢
My friends love it.
我对电影的品味有些奇怪
I have kind of weird taste in movies
你喜欢什么电影
Like what?
有些难以启齿
It's kind of embarrassing.
不行你得告诉我
No, you gotta tell me now.
80年代早期有一部好坏评参半的电影
Well, there's this really good bad movie
名叫《飞侠哥顿》
from the early 80s called "Flash Gordon. "
她娘的不是吧
No fuckin' way!
你看过《飞侠哥顿》
You've seen "Flash Gordon"?
我看过少说有一千遍
Oh, only, like, a thousand times!
当然了这是我最爱的电影
Of course. It's my favorite fucking movie.
你只是随便说说的吧 -不不
You're just saying that. - No, no, no.
你是谁飞侠哥顿
"Who are you? Flash Gordon.
纽约喷气机队四分卫
Quarterback, New York Jets. "
我超喜欢这个还有奥拉公主说
I love that! And when Princess Aura's like,
父亲去你的父亲
"Father! Damn you, Father! "
可不是一天磕四包就会变成这样的声音吗
Oh, man, is that a four- pack- a- day voice or what?
老兄这肺可是超额工作
Dude, those lungs are working overtime.
还有乌尔坦王子说
Oh, and when Prince Vultan is like,
你们一定从一个极其恐怖的星球而来吧
”That must be one hell of a planet you men come from. "
飞侠哥顿说
And Flash says...
还好吧
"Not too bad. "
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
太神奇了
Holy shit.
我从没见过喜欢这电影的女孩
I have never met a girl who liked that movie.
现在你找到了
Well, now you have.
该死
Oh, shitl
我的天哪
Oh, my God!
我的天啊你们还好吧
Jesus Christ, are you guys okay?
应该没事
I think so.
约翰尼约翰尼你还好吗
Johnny, Johnny, you all right?
跟我说说话
Talk to me!
泰迪
Teddy?
我上过床了吗
Did I sex?
肯定上过了伙计
You sure did, buddy.
你上得棒极了
You sexed real good.
你们该庆幸没有伤更重
You know, you're lucky you weren't more hurt.
现在感觉如何
How are you feeling now?
我还好其实我的胳膊倒有些
Not too bad, actually. My arm is a little
不我问他
No, him
哦对是哈
Oh, right, yeah.
我很好
I'm okay.
其实也没伤那么重
Uh, you know, it doesn't hurt that much.
医生我们真的不知道是怎么发生的
Uh, doctor, I- I really have no idea how this happened.
我俩都好好的坐在车里
You know, we were both sitting inside the car,
安全带也都系着
and we had our seatbelts on,
都按照法律要求的做了
you know, as is required by law- -
孩子我不是第一次在急救室见到这场面了
Son, this isn't my first night in the ER
我都看到那地毯烧焦了
I saw the carpet burns.
我知道现在的小孩追求完美新世界
I know when kids have been"A Whole New World- ing. "
我真恨这电影上映的那一天
I curse the day that movie came out.
好了你们没事的
AlI right You're gonna be okay.
没有脑震荡
There's no concussion.
但你们得休息几天
But Ineed you to get some rest for the next few days.
不要再靠近车子了
And stay off cars.
好谢谢
Okay. Thanks.
听着我真为今晚的事抱歉
Listen, I'm- - I'm sorry about tonight.
这太蠢了
You know, it was stupid.
才不会
No, it wasn't
这样既浪漫又贴心
It was romantic and thoughtful.
等等你没生气吗
Wait, so you're not mad?
没有
No.
我喜欢你很喜欢
I like you- - a lot.
那你回头愿意和我
Okay, well, do you maybe want to go
来一次车内约会吗
on an inside- the- car date sometime?
我有个更好的主意
I have a better idea.
我本来要和丹尼·赫希一起去舞会的
I was supposed to go to the prom with Danny Hirsh,
但他脸上的粉刺长得
but his acne has reached a point
实在惨不忍♥睹
where I need to take action.
你想和我一起去吗
Would you maybe want to go?
好啊
Yeah.
好啊当然愿意
Yeah, yeah, of course,
那就好
Cool.
我其实挺惊讶你没有舞伴
I'm actually kind of surprised you don't have a date already.
不过我在学校
Although I guess I haven't seen you
也没见到你有女朋友
around school with a girlfriend.
约翰有过超多女朋友
Oh, John's had lots of girlfriends.
真的吗 -对啊
Really? - Oh, yeah.
你面前的小伙子
Oh, yeah. You're looking at a guy
经历多的不得了
with a whole lot of experience.
床上经历
with fucking.
对吧约翰尼
Right, Johnny?
额是啊
Uh--uh, yeah.
我昨天的疲累还没休息过来呢
Yeah, I'm still sore from yesterday, you know?
我旋转扭曲整夜不停歇
Yeah, a whole lot of- - whole lot of pounds of torque.
相信我
Oh. - Trust me,
这家伙知道该怎么讨好女孩儿
this guy knows his way around a woman.
知道大家在学校怎么叫他吗
You know what they call him at school?
泡妞情圣
The Ladyboy.
他就是这么经验丰富
He's that seasoned.
抱歉你们得把这房♥间腾出来
Sorry, we need this room.
又来一对
We got another one.
该死的电影
Goddamn movie.
猜猜怎么着
Guess what?
有一颗鸡蛋有两个蛋黄
One of the eggs had two yolks.
我等不及被邀请去参加舞会了
I can't wait to get invited to a party.
我有好多八卦要聊呢
I have small talk.
知道吗约翰尼也有好消息要说
Well, you know, uh, Johnny also has some good news.
快闭嘴吧 -不不行
Aw, shut up, man- No, no, no.
不行我们就要说我真为你骄傲老兄
No, no, no, we're doing this. I'm proud of you, man.
咱们家好小子被邀请去参加舞会了
Our boy has been invited to the prom.
什么