泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E06

Part 7 Jan. 24, 2024, 8:21 p.m.

就和他一样
just like he is.
祝你和卡车希♥特♥勒♥节日愉快
Have a good Christmas with truck Hitler.
我走了
I'm out of here.
天哪这些人吵不过别人
Jesus, they always bring up Hitler
就把希♥特♥勒♥拿出来说事
when they're losing an argument.
再说了他做的事又不全是
And by the way, not everything he did was
我要再来一罐啤酒
I need another beer.
你怎么不骂她
Why didn't you tell her off?
我还能说什么
What the hell was I supposed to say?
提醒她是谁负担这个家的花销
You remind her who pays the bills around here.
让她别再公然蔑视上帝
You tell her to stop giving God the finger.
你什么都不懂
Ah. You don't know nothing.
可不是
Oh, no shit?
现在我算知道约翰尼怎么长成这个样子了
Well, now I see why Johnny's the way he is.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
你儿子都16了
Your son is 16.
连个女朋友都没有也不擅长体育运动
He ain't got a girlfriend. He doesn't play sports.
一天到晚都待在屋里和一个泰迪熊一起
He spends all of his time in his room with a teddy bear
谁知道做些什么
doing fuck knows what.
说不定他就是明蒂
For all you know, he's minty.
明蒂
Minty?
明蒂是什么东西
What the fuck is minty?
他会把面包皮切掉
You know, he's trimming the crust off the bread.
什么
What?
在晚上耙树叶
He's raking his leaves at night.
吃过的桃核也不会扔掉
He ain't throwing away all his peach pits,
你懂我什么意思吧
if you know what I'm saying.
我完全不懂你什么意思
I don't have a fucking clue.
他从堆肥里捡蛋壳
He's picking his eggshells out of the compost
拜托你知道我什么意思的
Come on, you know what I mean.
你儿子就是个奶酪穿孔机
Your kid's a cheese puncher.
嘿你怎么敢这么和我说我的儿子你个混球
Hey, don't talk to me about my son, you asshole!
喂在这间房♥子里我是唯一
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, I'm the only one in this house
不会对你撒谎的人
who doesn't lie to you.
我知道要怎么做了
I know what I'm gonna do.
好极了我们走
Great. Let's go.
你给我留在这儿
You stay here.
你能把电视换到体育频道吗
Hey, can you change the channel to the game?
哦看看啊
Ah, look at this.
都怪该死的克♥林♥顿♥
Fucking Clinton.
你们俩是分床睡吧
You guys in separate beds?
是啊
Yeah.
那就好
Good.
有事么
What?
我成长的过程和你们不大一样
I grew up different.
我
I'm- -
但我不是那种人
but I'm not one of those guys.
我虽然不理解你们俩怎么才能
I mean, I don't understand how you can do what you do...
好了 -但是但是
OK. But- - but- - but
我不想让你觉得我家不欢迎你
I don't want you to feel unwelcome in my house.
我不擅长说这种事儿
I'm not great with this stuff.
但
But
这个家有你真的很好
It's good that you're here-
对约翰来说
for John.
行吧
Sure.
那天我放了个屁他说很刺鼻
The other day, I farted, and he said it was pungent.
我猜那是个词语吧
And I guess that's a word.
有你在身边
So he's learning stuff
他能学到很多
with you around.
圣诞节对苏珊也很重要
And Christmas is just a whole thing for Susan too.
她想要你在这里
So yeah, she wants you here.
我也
And I- -
我也不想做个糟糕的叔叔
I don't want to be a shitty uncle.
对不起
I'm sorry.
但我不是唯一被你冒犯到的人
I'm not the only one you disrespected.
莎拉
Sarah.
欢迎你来我家过圣诞节
you're invited to Christmas.
抱歉我管你叫恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
And I'm sorry that I called you a terrorist.
你没这样说过我
You you never called me that.
对哈你那会儿没在屋里
Oh, that's right. You were out of the room.
那丹尼斯呢
Well, what about Dennis?
我会让它消失的
I guess he's got to go.
这老混♥蛋♥
Son of a bitch.
嘿
Hey.
丹尼斯
Dennis?
你要抛弃的竟然是我
I'm the one you're gonna get rid of,
你个天杀的完蛋玩意儿
you piece- of- shit fuck face?
天哪你想怎样弄死我吗
Jesus, what the fuck are you trying to do, kill me?
我是为了你才活过来你就用这个来感谢我吗
I come to life for you, and this is the thanks I get?
你还有什么可说的
What have you got to say for yourself?
我也不想把你赶出去丹尼斯
I don't want to kick you out, Dennis,
但我的家人是第一位的
but my family comes first!
闭上你的臭嘴吧
Oh, come the fuck on.
有你在的日子并没有我想象的那样好
It ain't worked out with you the way I thought it would.
我每次都声援你这不就是你想要的吗
I backed you up every time, just like you wanted.
但我不想惹我侄女哭啊我的老天爷
I didn't want to make my niece cry, for God's sakes.
你干嘛非要做个毒舌混♥蛋♥呢
Why you got to be such a prick?
怎么你现在又站她那边了
Oh, what, so now you're on her side?
我那边都不站
I'm not on anybody's side.
可是她又没伤害到谁
But...she's not hurting anybody, God damn it.
她伤害到了这个社会
It's hurting society.
这就是肯尼迪在达拉斯一枪自杀的原因
This is why Kennedy blew his own brains out in Dallas.
什么鬼
What the fuck?
别天真了
Oh, don't be naive.
你什么毛病啊
What the hell is your problem?
我倒成了那个有毛病的了
Oh, oh, I'm the one with the problem?
是啊你为什么非要揪着不放
Yeah. Why the fuck are you digging in like this?
我就好奇了 -你想知道马蒂
I want to know. You want to know why, Matty?
是啊 -你想知道为什么
Yeah. You want to know why?
为什么
Why?
因为我对男人有想法
Because I have thoughts of men!
什么
What?
我对男人有想法
I have thoughts of men.
性♥爱♥上的想法
Sexual thoughts.
我想千男人
I want to do to men
就和你想干女人一样
what you want to do to women.
你是说 -我是基佬马蒂
You're saying I'm gay, Matty.
我是基佬
I'm gay.
天哪我
God, I-
真不敢相信我说出来了
I can't believe I just said it.
该死
Uh Ah, shit!
我一直都在做些什么啊
What the fuck have I been doing?
我把这辈子都给浪费了
I've wasted my whole goddamn life,
庸庸碌碌了三天
three days down the drain,
从没允许自己尽情的去爱
and I've never allowed myself to love.
我说
Well, I mean...
你随时都可以
You could always
现在已经太晚了
Ah, it's too late now.
我又老又锈
I'm old and I'm rusty.
我不知道该怎么做马蒂
I don't know what to do, Matty.
我不知道该做什么该找谁该怎么做
I don't know what to do or who to be or how to be it.
天哪
Oh, God.
我还是个孩子的时候
When I was a kid.
你一直陪着我
You were always there for me.
我也会支持你的
Well, I'm gonna be there for you.
我爱你伙计
I love you, pal.
我想是该说再见了
So I guess this is lt.
是啊
Yeah.
谢谢丹尼斯
Thanks, Dennis.
谢什么
For what?