泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E07

Part 6 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:39 a.m.

What?
真的吗 -给我等等
Are you serious? - Wait a minute.
给我等等被邀请
Wait a minute. Invited?
她邀请的你
She invited you?
看到没苏珊
Yeah. See that, Susan?
还觉得克♥林♥顿♥是无辜的吗
Still think the Clintons are harmless?
时移势易了马蒂你得跟上时代
Times are changing, Matty. You gotta keep up
约翰
Oh, John!
我真为你开心
I'm so happy for you.
谁是这位幸运姑娘
Who's the lucky girl?
贝瑟尼·博格瓦特
Bethany Borgwardt.
等等就是那晚的女孩吗
Wait, the- - the girl from the other night?
就是那个
The one with the- -
我穿胸罩假装的那位
The bra lady, yeah.
看来是有人给了他个好建议
Guess somebody gave him some good advice.
真让人惊讶啊
Well, I'm very surprised.
祝好运
Uh, I guess, good luck.
好了我要去上班了
AlI right, I gotta go to work.
回头见
I'll see you later.
别忘了带午餐亲爱的
Don't forget your lunch, honey.
把水果拿出去
Take the fruit out!
我不能让人看到我拿着个李子干活
I can't be seen at work with a plum!
为什么啊
Why?
水果里面有纤维素
There's fiber in here, hon.
你还没拉臭臭呢
You haven't made caca yet.
布莱尔反正约翰尼舞会有伴了
Hey, Blaire, you know, since Johnny's got a date,
要不咱俩也一起去吧
how about you and me go to the prom?
还是算了吧
Yeah, no thanks.
为什么
Why not?
高中舞会
A high school prom?
去过了也干过了
Been there, done that.
不想喝酒也不想参加
No booze, no thanks.
拜托别丢我一个人尴尬着呀
Ah, come on. Don't leave me hanging!
约翰尼可是都有妞上了
Johnny's gonna be off getting laid.
我可不想自己过去
I don't want to be stuck talking
和一群软蛋玩啊
to a bunch of wiener bags.
你不觉得你对这事儿
Don't you think you're being
有点过于自信了吗
a little overconfident about this?
他才刚开始和这女孩约会
I mean, he just started dating this girl.
是啊可是
Yeah, but it's- -
我们进展相当好布莱尔
it's going really good, Blaire.
初次约会很顺利呢
We had a great time on our first date.
就连在医院也蛮有趣的
Even the hospital was fun.
没错他们绝对会干上的
Yeah, they're gonna fuck for sure.
除非你懂时机不对
I mean, unless, you know, the timing's off.
什么意思
What do you mean?
你懂的嘛如果
Well, I mean, you know, if- -
如果她来月经了
if she's gotta make her period.
什么 -你懂的呀
What? - You know, if it's
每个月的那个时候
that time of the week
所以呢来月经了又怎样
Okay, so what? So what if she gets her period?
那就不能上♥床♥了呀
Well, like, you can't have sex then, right?
我听说如果和一个
Like, I heard that if you have sex
来月经的女孩儿上♥床♥
while a girl's doing her period,
那你就会回到过去
then- - then you could go back in time
我现在是真觉得我回到过去了
I think I just went back in time.
这屋里的男的有一个知道
Does any male in this house
月经到底是怎么回事的吗
actually even fucking know how it works?
知道吗
Well, do you?
我不知道 -我其实
I- I do not. I actually
也不知道
have no idea, no. - Yeah.
好吧
Yeah. - Ugh. Okay.
我其实一直都挺好奇的
I actually was always kind of curious.
是会用到一个小管子对吗
There's, like, a a little tube, right?
是的卫生棉条
Yes, a tampon.
哦我听说过这个
Oh, yeah, I know that word.
冰爪也是个词儿吗
Is a crampon also something?
冰爪是用来攀岩的
A crampon is used for rock climbing.
跟月经一点关系都没有
It's got nothing to do with periods.
但这个词的一部分
It's weird that it has the word
意思是经期腹部绞痛
"cramp°inthere though, yeah?
完全不是一回事
Two completely different things.
但你也能明白我
But you can see why I thought- -
你是想开玩笑
Okay, you want to make jokes,
还是想认真了解点东西
or you want to fucking learn something?
我没在开玩笑
I wasn't making a jokel
冰爪我也不知道什么意思啊
I didn't know about the rock climbing! God!
那是怎么用的
How's it work?
给我好好猜猜
Give me your best guess.
把一个棉条放进去
You put the tampon inside.
太天才了没错然后呢
Genius, yes. How?
吞下去
Y- you swallow it.
用导管把它插♥进♥阴♥道♥
You use the applicator to insert it into the vagina,
再把导管抽出来
and then you remove the applicator by pulling it out.
这情况会一直持续吗
And this happens all the time?
一个月只有几天
Once a month for just a few days.
二月份时会短一些吗
Is it shorter in February?
你是想让我把你淋湿吗
You want to get fucking wet?
不不不不用了不用了
No, no, no. No, I'm good, Im good.
我知道你们自以为够聪明了
Look, I know you guys think you're pretty smart.
但或许还没准备好进行性行为
But maybe you're not as ready for sex as you think you are.
你好
Hello?
约翰我是贝瑟尼
John, it's Bethany.
嘿贝瑟尼
Oh, hey, Bethany.
我们正在讨论舞会的事
Yeah, we were, uh- - we were just talking about the prom.
我真的很激动
I'm really excited.
我要什么时候去接你
What time should I pick you up?
这个吧我一直在想
Yeah, about that, Ive been thinking,
或许我们还是各自去吧
maybe it's better if we go separately.
等等你说什么为什么
Wait- - wait, what? Why?
我只是觉得对于我来说你太过
I just think you might be a little bit too, um,
阅女无数了
experienced for me.
可是
No, but-
快回床上来约翰尼
Come back to bed, Johnny!
我是你其中一个
I'm one of your many satisfied
床伴 -快住嘴
sexual partners! - Stop!
干嘛他还得谢谢我
What? He's gonna thank me.
他才不会的 -嘘
No, he's not! - Shh!
我们能再商量一下吗
Hey, uh, can we talk about this?
肯定还有很多女孩子
Im sure you've got lots of other girls
愿意和你一起去呢
who'd love to go with you.
你还是邀请她们吧
Maybe you ask one ofthem
抱歉
Sorry.
她甩了我
She dumped me
什么
What?
是啊我们结束了
Yeah, it's- it's over.
绝不
No, it's not
我们要像电影里那样做
We are gonna do what they do in the movies.
今晚就冲去她家站在门外草坪上
Go over there tonight, stand on her lawn,
在全世界面前宣告你对她的爱
and declare your love for all the world to hear.
抱歉了警官多谢你
Sorry about that, Officer. Thank you so much.
我们很抱歉不会再这样了
Our apologies. Won't happen again.
事情进行得太不顺利了
Wow, that was so not good.
她爸真的不在乎你是不是爱她
Yeah, her dad really did not care that you love her.
真不敢相信我听了你的话
I can't believe I listened to you.
你把整件事都毁了泰迪
You fucked this whole thing up, Teddy!
没事的约翰尼我们还能挽回一切
It's okay, Johnny. We can still salvage this.
舞会上会有很多女孩儿
AII right, there's gonna be a lot of girls at the prom.
我们给你做个假胸肌
We're gonna get you a fake chest.
把袜子塞进裤裆里
We'll stick a sock in your pants
这不仅仅是上♥床♥的事儿好吗