泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E02

Part 4 Jan. 20, 2024, 1:30 p.m.

我管医生说什么我管他说什么
I don't care what the doctor says.
我就是不做
I'm not doing it.
你要再说一次我就出去住旅馆
If you ask me one more time, I'm going to stay at a motel.
马蒂为什么你这么抗拒做结肠镜检查
Matty, why are you so resistant to a colonoscopy?
不是吧你也来叨叨我
Oh Christ, not you too.
我知道检查结果或许
Look, I know it's scary to think about
很可怕但是早发现
what they might find, but early detection is- -
你觉得我是害怕得癌吗
You think I'm worried about cancer?
得了癌症就不用缴税了
You get cancer, you don't have to pay taxes.
不是这样的吧
I don't think that's true.
要是自♥由♥党掌权就是这样的了
Not if liberals have their way.
我就是想说赶紧得癌去吧
All I'm saying is, get your cancer now.
别瞎扯了和我说实话
Look, cut the shit and just tell me the truth.
为什么不去做结肠镜检查
Why won't you get the colonoscopy?
麻醉以后我就控制不了自己了
When they put you under, you're not in control.
对吧
AlI right?
可能会说些胡话事后还完全想不起来
You can say some shit and not even remember it.
我不想乱说话
I don't want to say stuff.
老天爷
Jesus.
还有你不敢说的话
There's things you're not saying?
我就是有些秘密不想被别人知道
I just- I don't want anybody to find out my secrets.
C 什么秘密
What secrets?
我有秘密
I got secrets.
好好好就算医生知道了
OK, well, what the fuck do you care
又有什么关系呢
what some doctor thinks of them?
医生可八卦了这地方又不大
Doctors talk. This is a small town.
我不想毁了我的声誉
I don't want to ruin my reputation.
你都已经上了唐恩都乐甜甜圈的黑名单了
You're banned from Dunkin' Donuts.
听我的你一定得做这个检查好吗
Listen to me. You got to do this. OK?
结肠癌发现得晚你就没命了
You catch colon cancer too late, you're dead.
留下约翰和苏珊孤儿寡母的
You'd be leaving John and Suze on their own.
这真的是你想要的吗
You really want to do that?
好吧我去做
AlI right. I'll go in there.
很好
Great.
但你得和我一起去
But you got to go with me.
陪你去做结肠镜检查 -对
To your colonoscopy? - Yeah.
为什么
Why?
因为我被他们迷晕后
Because when they drug me up,
要是提到了越南
if I start saying anything about Vietnam,
你得赶紧发出声音
you got to make a lot of noise.
为什么你在越南怎么了
Why? What happened in Viet- -
啦啦啦啦啦啦就像这样
La, la, la, la, la, la, la! Like that.
懂了吗
You got it? - Mm- mm.
你没懂来练习一下
No, you don't. Let's practice.
这是我这是医生
It's me. Here's the doctor.
嗨医生在越南有一次
Hey Doc, this one time in Vietnam- -
对该你了
right, that's you.
啦啦啦啦
La, la, la, la
不再大声一点快一点
No, you got to be louder and faster.
来再试一次在越南有一次医生
Come on. Again. One time in Vietnam, Doc-
啦啦啦啦 -继续
La, la, la, la, la. Keep going.
在越南有一次
One time in Vietnam
再大声一点
Louder.
在越南有一次继续
One time in Vietnam. Keep going.
继续 -我特么在继续啊
Keep going. I'm fucking trying.
在越南有一次
There was this one time in Vietnam.
继续
Keep going.
我马上就要说出我的秘密了
I'm about to spill my secrets!
你俩干什么呢
What is going on in here?
我会去做结肠镜检查的
I'll get the colonoscopy.
真的吗
You will?
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
我开心得像是过圣诞节
Oh, I feel like it's Christmas.
我就是想让你们一家知道从现在开始
I just want this family to know that from here on out,
我要敞开了喝了
I'm going for full- on alcoholism.
嘿我是不是疯了
Hey, am I crazy?
我有点想给克莱夫打给电♥话♥ 告诉他考得很棒
I kind of want to call Clive and tell him he did good.
是吧我也是
I know. Me too.
很明显他为了这次考试用功复习了
I mean, he obviously studied so hard for that test.
对他得知道他爸为他骄傲
Yeah, he should know his dad's proud of him.
对
Yeah.
但是但是难道我们想让他觉得
But, but, but, do we want to send the message
我们在乎的只是成绩吗
that all we care about is grades?
但如果我们不告诉他我们的期望
Well, I mean, he can't live up to our expectations
他也无法达到呀
if we don't set any.
对但我希望他为自己努力而不是为了我们
Yeah, but I want him to do well for him, not for us.
给他打个电♥话♥吧 -好
Let's just call him. OK.
你好
Hello?
嗨克莱夫是你♥爸♥
Hey Clive. It's your dad.
爸爸你知道吗
Dad. Hey, guess what?
我考得巨好
I totally aced that test.
拿了个C+
I got a C+.
厉害了
Well, how about that?
你真棒小冠军
Good for you, champ.
太好了
That's great.
虽然不算巨好吧不过也真不错
That's not really ace, but wow, good job.
我知道你挺忙的
Hey, I know you're busy and all,
但这周六是我生日
but my birthday's coming up on Saturday
我想知道我能见见你吗
and I was wondering if maybe I could see you.
这个嘛抱歉了儿子我有工作
Ah, yeah, sorry pal, I got a work thing.
我就想和你见一面
I just wish I could meet you just once.
我知道我也是
I know. Me too.
但这次的任务很重要
But it's an important mission.
我们在溜冰场下面发现了恐♥怖♥分♥子♥大本营
We found a terrorist base under the roller rink,
要卧底成毒贩混进去
so we're going undercover as coke dealers.
要是在过程中找到了爱情那就发展一下
And if we find love along the way, we'll take it.
要不明年吧好吗
But hey, maybe next year, huh?
好的
Yeah, sure.
考得真棒
And great job on that test.
好了之后再聊吧
AlI right, I'll talk to you later.
再见爸爸
Bye, Dad.
又让他失望了我觉得很不好受
Man, I feel really bad letting him down again.
对我们得补偿他一下
Yeah, we got to make it up to him.
你知道吗
You know what?
他爸应该给他送一份超棒的礼物
His dad needs to send him a really great birthday gift.
这个怎么样
Oh, what about this?
世嘉超级游戏机
Sega Genesis.
我觉得不太好诶 -为什么
Yeah, I don't know. Why not?
我担心他会成天待在屋里打游戏
I'mjust worried he's going to spend all day in his room
都不出门玩了
instead of playing outside.
棒球手套如何
What about a baseball glove?
他不喜欢运动
He doesn't like playing sports.
那我们可以鼓励他去运动嘛
Well, that doesn't mean we shouldn't encourage it.
棒球是你的梦想不是他的
Baseball's your dream, not his.
我勒个老天爷 -这是他的17岁生日
Oh, my fucking God. - Look, it's his 17th birthday.
他马上就要成年了
He'll be an adult soon.
没有几次送礼物的机会了
We don't have many of these left.
我就是觉得你太惯着他了
I just feel like you're always trying to spoil him.
你不能用钱买♥♥他的爱
You know, you can't buy his affections.
我没有想用钱买♥♥ -你有
I am not trying to buy his Yes, you are.
你就是想用钱买♥♥他的爱
You're trying to buy his affections
因为你从来不在家 -你对他太严格了
because you're never at home. - You're too strict with him.
你一直都是这样
You always have been.
总得有人唱黑脸吧
Well, somebody has to be the bad cop.
老实说你老让我当坏人
And frankly, I feel like it's shitty of you
太可恶了 -行吧
to always dump that on me. You know what?
这些破事都无所谓了
None of this shit matters anyway,
因为我们只有20刀 -哦对你说得对
because we only got 20 bucks. - Oh yeah, you're right.
我们怎么办呢
What are we going to do?
男装在哪里
Where's the menswear?