泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E03

Part 1 Jan. 17, 2024, 11:49 a.m.

♪我的文字有些懒散♪
♪-*My words are lazy♪
♪我的思维有些模糊♪
♪My thoughts are hazy♪
♪但有件事我很确定♪
♪But this is one thing I'm sure of ♪
♪所有人都要有个最好的朋友♪
♪Everybody needs a best friend ♪
♪我很开心我是你的♪
♪I'm happy I'm yours♪
嘿布莱尔再次感谢你能来接我们
Hey, thanks again for picking us up, Blaire.
客气啥你们最后看的是啥
Yeah, no problem. What'd you guys end up seeing?
《侏罗纪公园》
Jurassic Park. "
这简直就是我看过的
It's, like, the greatest movie
最酷的一部电影
I've ever fucking seen, like, ever.
是斯皮尔伯格用真正的恐龙拍的
Yeah, Spielberg actually got real dinosaurs.
行吧我觉得并没有
Uh, yeah, I don't think so.
真的有 -对真的绝对的
No, he did. No, he did. He totally did.
没有其它解释
There's no other explanation.
我敢保证他拍的不是真正的恐龙
I promise you guys he did not get real dinosaurs.
你这么说就有点无知了布莱尔
Well, that's- that's a ignorant thing to say, Blaire,
你连电影还没看过呢
when you didn't see the movie.
对他拍了《ET》还拍了《大白鲨》
Yeah, no, he made "ET" and he made"Jaws"
这部片子简直就是给他的回报
and this was his reward.
他真的跟真恐龙一起拍摄了
He got real dinosaurs to play with.
聚沙成塔嘛
It all adds up.
我对这部电影唯一的差评就是
My only criticism of the movie
谁会在车里放敞口的水杯呢
who has open cups of water in the car?
对就特别奇怪
Oh yeah, that was weird.
就好像说杯子要有盖防止水洒吗
Yeah, it's like, you want a lid for that water?
不用啊没问题的我不就是在丛林里开个车嘛
Nah, that's OK. I'm just riding in the jungle.
嘿我们能在租录像带那停一下吗
Oh, hey can we stop by the video store?
我要租个片子
I want to rent a movie.
你刚看完一部片子啊
You just saw a movie.
是我知道现在我们对恐龙上瘾了
Yeah, I know. And now, we got dinosaur fever.
我们想多看点带恐龙的电影
We want to see more movies with dinosaurs.
行吧但你得快点我今晚还有事呢
Fine, but you got to be quick. I got plans tonight.
是吗你有啥事啊
Oh, yeah? What- what do you got going on?
就有事呗
Just stuff.
大学那些事吗
Like college stuff?
对啊
Yes.
罗马长袍主题派对吗 -不是
Toga party? No.
联谊会纳新活动周吗
Fucking rush week?
不是
No.
跟新来的联谊生厮混吗
Fucking around with the new pledges,
然后戴安搞的有点过火
but then Diane goes a little too far
发生了特别可怕的事
and something horrible happens
但你们想办法一起掩盖了真♥相♥
but then you all kind of work together to cover it up
然后第二天
and then the next day,
你们就像什么都没发生一样去上学
you just go to class like nothing happened
现在你们要被一个可怕的秘密
but now you're all bonded for life
束缚一辈子
by, like, a horrible secret,
本来一切都慢慢好起来了
and it seems like it's all going to be OK
可是瑞秋却有点摇摆不定
but then Rachel seems a little shaky
于是你就想她会不会惹出什么麻烦来
and you wonder if she's going to be a problem?
你特么这是说什么呢
What the fuck are you talking about?
就随便聊聊嘛
I'm just making conversation.
好了给你5分钟快点选好就出来
OK, you got five minutes. Hurry up and pick something.
嘿泰迪 -嗯
Hey, Teddy. - Yeah?
你看过小黄♥片♥儿吗
You ever seen a porno?
看过啊我在好莱坞时看过可多
Yeah, I saw a lot of them when I was out in Hollywood.
它们真的像人们说的那么刺♥激♥吗
They as awesome as people say?
对约翰尼
They are, Johnny.
什么样的
What are they like?
就是你打开电视你摆好姿势
Well, you turn it on, you settle in,
把纸巾和乳液都准备好
you get your Kleenex and your lotion,
然后你你就嗨起来了
and you- - you fucking go to town.
哇
Wow.
听起来可真刺♥激♥啊
Sounds amazing.
对尤其是等你完事了
Yeah, especially afterward when it's over
你会想自己做过的事
and you think about what you did.
是吗
Really?
嗯然后你把自己擦干净
Yeah, and you clean yourself up
但是片儿还继续放着就像背景音一样
but the porn's still going on in the background,
只不过现在声音好像大了一倍
but it seems twice as loud now.
即便你没有离开家
And even though you didn't leave the house,
你也知道自己会让一个女人做噩梦的
you know you've contributed to a woman's nightmare.
然后你用过的那只袜子
Oh, and you can't
就想着塞到脏衣筐的最里面去
shove that sock in the hamper deep enough.
每次我来到这看到这两扇门
Man, every time I come in here and I see those doors,
都觉得好神秘啊
it's like it's so mysterious.
私人专属的成人房♥间
The private, exclusive adults- only room.
约翰老爷泰迪老爷
Master John, Master Ted.
很高兴你们能加入我们
I'm so delighted that you've joined us.
今晚我们要不要租点小黄♥片♥儿啊
Are we thinking of renting some pornography this evening?
的确有此打算劳埃德
Indeed, we are, Lloyd.
真是极好极好的
Splendid, splendid.
我们有相当多的精品供你们选择
We have quite a fine selection for your perusal.
你有什么好推荐吗
Mm, well, what would you recommend?
要看你的口味了先生
Your preference, sir.
你是喜欢掌控一切的
Would you like to feel in charge,
还是喜欢像个小宝贝
or like an itty, bitty baby?
我相信我应该喜欢感觉像个小宝贝
I do believe I would like to feel like a baby.
先生没有人选过另外一种
No one has ever chosen the other one, sir.
我觉得也是如此
Yes, I would imagine not.
非常好
Very good, sir.
我去给你们拿乳液和手帕马上回来
I'll be right back with your cream and kerchief.
你老婆还好吗劳埃德
How's the wife, Lloyd?
先生克拉拉上个月就过世了
Well, sir, I'm afraid that Clara passed away last month.
哦劳埃德真为你遗憾
Oh, Lloyd, we're so very sorry.
谢谢先生她勇敢的与病魔做了斗争
Thank you, sir She fought bravely,
但医生到最后也没什么能做的了
but there was nothing the doctors could do.
你儿子情况如何
And how is your son taking the loss?
自从她离世后我们就没说过话先生
We haven't spoken since she passed away, sir.
恐怕杰里米为他母亲的死一直在责怪我吧
I'm afraid that Jeremy blames me for his mother's death.
太可怕了
How terrible.
谢天谢地我还有份工作
Thank heaven I have my work.
否则我都不知道要如何生活下去
Elsewise, I'm not sure I could go on living myself.
好了享受你们的小黄♥片♥儿吧
Well, enjoy your pornography, sir.
天
Jesus.
你的幻想中还包括那家伙失去了自己的老婆和家人吗
Your fantasy includes the guy losing his wife and family?
儿子没死啊
Well I mean, the son didn't die,
只是疏远了嘛
they're just estranged.
我只是觉得
I just feel like
你给他设计了那么多情节我们就跑题了
by putting all that on him, it distracts from our story.
泰迪你想进去吗
Teddy, you want to go in there?
后面的房♥间吗
In the back room?
对啊
Yeah.
对你不觉得我该来个
Yeah, don't you think it's about time
租黄♥片♥的第一次吗
I rented my first porno?
我希望你已经完成了
Well, I hope you've gotten everything done
所有你需要完成的事情
that you need to get done ever.
为什么
Why?
到时你就知道了走吧
Oh, you'll see. Come on, let's do it.
嘿 18岁以下不能去成人区
Hey! No one under 18 in the adult section!
没事约翰尼我去给你租
It's all right, Johnny. I'll go and get it.
你没听见吗
You hear me?
我说了18岁以下不许进
I said no one under 18!
没事伙计是我啊
It's all right, buddy. It's just me.
你是1985年成精的吧到现在你多大 8岁吗
You came to life in 1985. That makes you what, eight?
伙计不是这么算的好嘛
Dude, it's a little different.
不行规矩就是规矩
No Rules are rules!
哇这里选择这么多啊
Wow, what an amazing selection!
都好色情啊
These are all so erotic!
好了如果你们
AlI right, if you guys are done