泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E03

Part 5 Jan. 17, 2024, 11:49 a.m.

她或许会死的
She could have died.
对吧苏珊
Right, Susan?
你要是把那钉子吃了或许会死的
You could have died if you ate a nail.
我想我或许会死的要是吃了那颗钉子
I guess I could have died if I ate a nail.
我真的很抱歉本内特夫人
I am so deeply sorry, Mrs. Bennett.
当然了你们今晚的一切消费全免
Of course, your entire evening is comped.
还有什么能为您做的吗
And if there's anything else we can do for you,
请告诉我们
please tell us.
你们窗户上那个
Yeah, you see that old- timey
旧时代的潜水头盔
diver's helmet you got there in the window?
我要你在里面装满虾
I want you to fill it with shrimp.
那螃蟹是不是美味极了
Wasn't the crab good?
好了就要搞定了
OK, almost got it.
拿到了
Ah. There we go.
你留在这儿我去看看外面有没有人
OK, you stay here, I'm going to make sure the coast is clear.
冰敷一下汉普顿
Ice it up, Hampton.
你会没事的
You'll be fine.
我不确定教练
I don't know, Coach.
我感觉都听到骨头断掉了 -敷点冰块
Ithink I heard it break. A little ice.
很快就好了
Best thing for it
嘿本内特
Hey, Bennett!
啥
Uh, yeah?
球员不够了赶快给我上场
We're a man down. Get in there!
不用退赛这儿有一个球员
No forfeit! We got a player!
其实教练我不是
Actually, Coach, you know I'm not
快啊本内特还有场比赛要赢呢
Now, Bennett! We got a game to win!
这能有多难
Ain't so fucking hard.
咱们赶快走
Let's get the hell out of here.
天哪今晚真带劲儿
Jesus. What a night, huh?
马蒂
Matty.
你刚刚是在造孽
What you did there was a sin.
你欺骗了他们
You lied to them.
是他们先骗我们的
Ah, they lied to us first.
一盘牛排怎么能值24块呢
Goddamn steak doesn't cost 24 bucks.
我们现在扯平了
We're even.
最棒的是我都没用到这个
And the best part is I didn't even have to use this.
这是什么
What is that?
查克牛排馆免费用餐的优♥惠♥券
A coupon for one free meal at Chuck's Steak House.
全部算上我们用一顿饭钱享受了三次免费晚餐
So all in, we get three free dinners for the price of one.
你是因为这个才要出去吃饭的吗
Is that why you wanted to go out to dinner?
因为你有优♥惠♥券
Because you had a coupon?
我携着一位漂亮的女士还一分钱都没花
I had a beautiful woman on my arm and I spent no money.
今晚多完美啊
A perfect evening.
还有儿童活动书
And the activity bookl
约翰尼
Hey, Johnny!
你老爹今晚解开了一个迷宫
Your old man solved a maze tonight!
今天周五
It's Friday night.
他说不定参加篮球比赛去了
He's probably at the basketball game.
上楼吗
You're going up?
不了
Uh, no.
我就在这儿待会儿看看电视吧
I think I'll stay up for a while and watch TV.
随便你
Suit yourself.
么么
Mwah!
我要上♥床♥打几个滚试着打出嗝来
I'm going to roll around in bed and try to burp.
哦就是这样 -太爽了
Oh, yeah! - Yes!
我的天哪
Oh, my Godl
嘿
Hey.
一边儿去
Knock it off.
我刚意识到我们其实可以
You know, I just realized we probably
穿自己的衣服假装是去看比赛
could have just dressed like ourselves going to the game.
嘘灯关了
Hey, shh! The lights are out.
爸妈一定都睡了
Mom and Dad must be asleep.
好了我去换掉你确保没人过来
AlI right, I'll swap it out. You make sure no one's coming.
好
Right.
好了完成了
AlI right, it's done.
还没呢我们还得把磁带拿出来
Not quite. We still got to get that tape out.
搞什么
The fuck?
该死 -不见了
Oh, shit. - It's gone!
我们我们先冷静
OK, let's- let's just calm down here.
还怎么冷静磁带没了
What do you mean calm down? The tape's gone!
不可能凭空消失的肯定在什么地方
It can't just be gone. It's got to be somewhere.
该死
Oh, shit.
该死 -怎么了怎么了
Ah shit. What, what, what?
有人发现了
Somebody found it.
有人发现然后拿走了
Somebody found it and they took it.
完蛋
Oh, shit.
明天所有人出门后我们把房♥子搜个遍
OK, tomorrow, when everyone's out, we search the house.
要是找不到呢
What if we don't find it?
那我们就只能
Then we'll have to
从另一家店租一个同样的磁带
rent the same movie from another store
然后还给第一家店
and return it to the first store
每隔三天都重复操作
and we'll have to do that every three days
直到永远
until the end of time.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
这就是个黄氏骗局嘛
Yeah. Like a Pornzi scheme.
我们惹了大♥麻♥烦但还是可以嘴上耍耍宝
Yeah, we're in trouble, but we can still have fun with words.
保佑我吧神父我有罪
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
你好苏珊
Hello, Susan.
天哪
Oh, dear.
真希望你这次能把窗户关上
I wish you'd close it this time.
在上帝的眼中我们都是恶贯满盈
We're all sinners in God's eyes.
那个
Well
神父我看了一个色情片
I saw a porno, Father.
你怎么会看到的苏珊
And how did you come to see this, Susan?
是马蒂落在录像机里的
Matty left it in the VCR
那晚早些时候我们出门吃晚餐
Earlier that night, we went out to dinner.
我本以为他要
And I thought he was
带我去吃一顿浪漫晚餐
taking me out for a romantic evening
只有我们两个人我就好好打扮了一番
just the two of us, so I got all dressed up.
可他压根没注意到
And he didn't even notice.
然后我才发现他有一个优♥惠♥券
And then I found out that he had a coupon.
所以他才要出去吃饭的
And that's why he wanted to go out.
神父或许
And Father, maybe.
我不再是他想要的了
I'm not what he wants anymore.
苏珊我想事情一定没那么严重
Susan, I'm sure it's not as bad as all that.
丈夫和妻子的感受本就不相同
Husbands and wives have different sensibilities.
上帝如此造人
There's a reason the Lord made it
就是为了让男人可以手♥淫♥ 女人却不行
so that a man can masturbate and a woman cannot.
那倒是真的
W- well, that's true.
至于你所看到的
And as for what you saw,
上帝明白不是你主动去看的
God understands that you didn't seek it out.
只要影片里面的男女
And as long as the man and the woman in the film
结了婚并且没有采取防范措施
are married and not using birth control,
你就没什么可担心的
I don't think you have anything to worry about.
不仅仅是一男一女
It wasn't just a man and a woman.
另外还有一个女人
There- there was another woman, too.
这样啊
I see.
但她并没有真的参与进去
Although she wasn't really participating.
她只是掐住了另一个女孩儿
She was just sort of choking the other girl.
马蒂是你的丈夫
Well, Matty is your husband.
如果你们之间的一人厌倦了婚姻
And if one of you is bored in the marriage,
另外一人不妨考虑一下如何处理
then the other may wish to consider
想想怎么将夫妻生活变得更火花四射
how to address that and ways to make things more exciting.
要记得只要你没那么享受其中就没有错
Remember, nothing is wrong if you don't enjoy it too much.
我当然可以试试
Well, I could certainly try.
很好很好
Good, good.
掐人那事儿那姑娘有不高兴吗
So the choking, was she upset by it?
还是 -我还是回家吧
Or- - I should probably get home.
好的下次再讲
AlI right. To be continued.
不
No.