泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E04

Part 3 Jan. 20, 2024, 1:31 p.m.

我去拿抗生素
I'lI get the bacitracin.
说不定你还能停下来
Yeah, and maybe we call a moratorium
把无花果饼干包在小纸条里
on you sticking Fig Newtons in my pocket wrapped
塞进我的口袋
in a little goddamn note!
妈我们家还有薯
Hey, Mom, do we have any more chip-
好好看看吧约翰尼
Take a long look, Johnny.
这就是人生
This is what life is.
干杯小混♥蛋♥们
Cheers, fucksticks. - Whoo!
你们想看点儿吓人的吗
Hey, you guys want to see something terrifying?
看好了
Watch this.
大家一起挥手啊
Everybody wave your arms!
大家一起跳
Everybody jump in the air!
让我们入侵波兰
Let's invade Poland!
看到没这就是米尔格拉姆的服从实验
See that? That's the Milgram experiment.
舞蹈就是一切的开端
That's how it starts, with dancing.
《浑身是劲》里的老爸说得对
The dad from"Footloose" was right.
哦该死
Oh, shit!
已经八点半了
It's 8: 30.
布莱尔布莱尔八点半了
Blaire, Blaire, it's 8: 30.
我们得走了
We got to go.
天我从没意识到你的毛发这么顺滑
God, I never noticed how beautiful your hair is.
天然风干后就是这样的吗
Does it just naturally dry like that?
快别说了
Shut the fuck up.
你的头发也很飘逸动人呢
Your hair's the beautiful hair.
等等你
Wait a minute, are- -
你喝醉了吗
are you drunk?
我有一点就一点
I'mjust a little- - it's sort of.
没事的 -你喝醉了
It's fine. - You're fucking drunk!
你也醉了呀
Well, so are you.
可我们本来就是这样说好的
Yeah, well, that was the plan.
抱歉
Sorry.
那我们还怎么回家啊
How the hell are we supposed to get home?
你已经醉得不行了
You're completely fucked up.
路很好找啊
It's a straight shot.
沿着尼波恩赛特环线走到南路93号♥ 再到西路90号♥
You take the Neponset Circle, to 93 South, to 90 West,
到北路495号♥ 然后走U型转弯
to 495 North, and you just do that U- turn
到警♥察♥局门前的红绿灯处
at the light in front of the police station,
就到家了
and you're home.
我才不要坐你的车
Yeah, no, I'm not getting in a car with you.
听着木已成舟
Look, what's done is done.
可我们都向约翰尼保证过
But we both promised Johnny we'd get me back
让我按时回家一起砸鸡蛋的
in time for egging, all right?
我可以开车的
I'm fine to drive.
你不能醉酒开我的车
You're not driving my car drunk, OK?
那是我的车
It's- it's my car.
要开也该我醉着开
I should be the drunk driver.
好吧说得有理
AlI right, fair enough.
我来帮忙我看到什么就喊你
I'll help by screaming out things I see.
嗨布莱尔
Hey, Blaire.
达蒙教授你好啊
Professor Damon, hi.
这位是谁 -你还好吧
Who's this now? - How are you?
很好很好
Good, good.
感觉很犀利
Feeling sharp.
给我闭嘴
Shut the fuck up.
喜欢你这身蝙蝠侠装扮
I love the Batman costume.
多谢
Oh, thanks.
这位是哪儿来的阿♥拉♥伯的劳伦斯啊
And who's Lawrence of Arabia here?
泰迪那位会说话的泰迪熊你好
Ted, talking teddy bear, hi.
哦泰迪当然了
Oh, Ted. Yes, of course.
你的故事我可是记得很清楚
I remember your story very well.
好吧很高兴认识你
Yeah. Well, it's nice meeting you.
走吧我们走布莱尔
Come on. Let's go, Blaire.
你们赶时间吗
You in a rush?
来我家玩一会儿呗
Why don't you come up to the house for a minute?
我想和你聊两句
There's something I'd like to talk to you about.
我刚去了商店
I just went to the store.
我可以做点卡布里沙拉
I could whip us up a little caprese salad.
好啊好啊当然可以
Yeah, yeah, sure.
我爱吃沙拉
I love salad.
喂喂等等啊
Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, hang on.
你也一起来泰迪
Oh, you're invited too, Ted.
待会儿见吧
See you in a few?
好极了
Awesome, yeah.
待会儿见 -好嘞
See you in a few. - OK.
你个笨蛋脑袋
You buttnut!
我向约翰尼保证过九点前回家的
I promised Johnny I'd be home by 9: 00.
你显然不知道那人是谁
You clearly don't know who that is.
一个50多岁骑电瓶车的家伙呗人生赢家啊
Yeah, a guy in his 50s riding a moped, fucking winner.
他是卢卡斯·达蒙我的英国文学教授
That is Lucas Damon, my English lit professor.
就是那个被《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》评为
The Lucas Damon who also happens to be
最畅销小说作家的卢卡斯·达蒙
a"New York Times"best- selling novelist.
小说讲的是个买♥♥不起车的家伙吗
Yeah, was the novel about a guy who couldn't afford a car?
讲的是
Was the guy- -
不他正在为下一本小说
no, he's looking for a student research
挑选一位学生研究助理
assistant for his next book.
几乎所有人都想要这份工作
Literally everybody wants this job.
我爱吃沙拉
"I love salad. "
我就知道你在撒谎没人喜欢吃沙拉
See, I knew you were lying. Nobody loves salad.
我喜欢啊我真的喜欢吃沙拉
I do. I really love salad.
这个星球决不可能有一个人喜欢吃沙拉
Not one person on this planet loves salad.
我就是喜欢 -假设你是个死囚犯
I do. - You're on death row.
你的最后一餐饭可以选择牛排或者沙拉
Your last meal, you can have a steak or a salad.
我会选沙拉 -去你的
I'm going to choose a salad. - Fuck you!
就给你吃牛排
You're getting a steak.
看看你对那家人做的事吧
After what you did to that family- -
那宝宝的耳朵在天花板上啊
the baby's ear was on the ceiling!
我做这份工作20年了
I've been doing this job 20 years.
从没见过这么恐怖的场面
I never seen anything so horrible.
什么 -老天我果然是醉糊涂了
What? - Oh, Christ, I'm fucked up
还好是你开车
Yeah, it's good you're driving. - Eh.
我最新的作品是一部历史小说
My latest work is a piece of historical fiction
参考了19世纪新英格兰的种族和阶级状况
that examines race and class in 19th century New England.
听上去好棒
Wow, that sounds incredible.
对了沙拉真好吃
Hey, great salad, by the way.
不加面包丁是我的最爱了
I love that there are no croutons.
通过一个玛莎葡萄园岛
It explores the balance between sociopolitical change
的劳工组织者的经历
and personal relationships as seen
探索了社会政♥治♥变革和人际关系
through the eyes of a labor organizer
之间的平衡
in Martha's Vineyard.
有一处情节转折点会让你大跌眼镜
There's a plot twist that will shock you.
能给我一个不是30度温热的
Hey, can I maybe have a different can of Schweppes
怡泉汽水吗
that's not 85 degrees?
知道吗约翰·艾文总喜欢以小说最后一句话
You know, John Irving always starts a novel
作为小说的开头
with the last sentence.
而我喜欢用倒数第二句话作为开头
I like to start with the second to last.
你想听听吗
Would you like to hear it?
当然了
Absolutely.
当克拉拉
The horizon wept
一♥丝♥不♥挂♥的躯体加入到人群之中时
as Clara's undraped mortal frame
地平线也在哭泣
joined the coiled multitudes,
喜悦革命
elation, revolution,
那是血的苦涩滋味
a taste of bitter blood.
太精彩了
It's brilliant.
这唤醒了詹姆斯·乔伊斯善的一面
It evokes the best of James Joyce
又没有过分包装和渲染
without feeling derivative or overly aureate.
你简直是我肚里的蛔虫
Hey, how'd you get inside my head?
我再拿些喝的来
I'lI freshen our drinks.
泰迪克莱尔肯定警告过你了我是个有趣的教授
Ted, I'm sure Blaire has warned you, I'm the fun professor.
好吧
OK.
我滴个老天爷啊
Jesus fucking Christ.