泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E05

Part 5 Jan. 20, 2024, 1:31 p.m.

那下一次禁毒大会时
And the next time there's an anti- drug assembly,
他们要是找人问问题我能提个问题
and they ask for questions, I will ask a question.
泰迪别啊你疯了啊
Teddy, don't. What, are you crazy?
闭嘴约翰闭嘴
Quiet, John, quiet.
我会向演讲者提出问题
I will ask a question of the speaker.
禁毒大会上从来没有人提过问题
No one has ever asked a question at assembly.
我来提
I will ask one.
真正的问题 -对的
A real question? Yes.
不是什么我能看看你的胸吗这种问题
Not like a, can we see your nipple, kind of question,
而是真正的问题
like, a real one.
像是如何能帮助
Like, how can I help ensure
我的同学远离毒品这种问题
my school remains drug- free?
像是如果怀疑同学吸毒应该如何举报这种问题
Like, who should I tell ifI suspect a peer is on drugs?
天呢 -泰迪不要不要
Good God Teddy, no, no
闭嘴约翰 -不值得
Shut up, John. It's not worth it.
闭嘴这是为了苏珊
Shut up. This is for Susan!
成交
You have your deal.
愿上帝保佑你
And may God have mercy on your soul.
赶紧出去吧别等我动手
Now get out of this office before I kick your ass myself.
好的老师谢谢 -谢谢你非常感谢
Yes, ma'am, thank you. - Thank you, thank you so much.
谢谢
Thank you.
天啊我好爱这份工作
God, I love this job.
这就是土豆怪兽
both: *And that's the monster mash J
怎么样会火吗
What do you think? Is it a hit?
我不是和你们说了吗
I just told you.
已经有一首叫《土豆怪兽》的歌♥了
There's already a song called the"Monster Mash.
不布莱尔老天啊
Oh, no, Blaire. Jesus Christ.
你再看看这个图
Look at the diagram again.
我们这首土豆怪兽歌♥的灵感来自
So this song the"Monster Mash"was inspired by this dance
土豆怪兽舞
the Monster Mash.
而土豆怪兽舞的灵感来自这首土豆怪兽歌♥
But the song the"Monster Mash, "
我们的土豆怪兽歌♥唱的是土豆怪兽舞
which is about the dance the Monster Mash,
和那首土豆怪兽歌♥
which was inspired by the song the "Monster Mash"
不是同一首土豆怪兽歌♥ 好吗
is not the song the"Monster Mash, "all right?
这首歌♥在我们的宇宙里不存在
That song does not exist in our universe.
1962年之后我们就生活在外圈
Ever since 1962, we have been living in the outer circle.
可我们并不知道
And we don't even know it.
泰迪和我写了这首土豆怪兽歌♥
Teddy and I have written the song the"Monster Mash"- -
会让我们的现实世界
Which will take our reality to the innermost circle
在宇宙的历史上第一次回到最内圈
for the first time in the history of the cosmos.
我们只需要2000刀来录歌♥
AlI we need is $2, 000 for studio time.
我给你们省省时间吧
I'll save you the time right now.
都1993年了没人会听一首叫作
Nobody in 1993 is going to give a shit about a song
土豆怪兽的歌♥的
called the "Monster Mash. "
为什么
Why not?
因为现在所有的好音乐
Because all the good music now
唱的都是重要的事情人们的真实故事
is about shit that matters, people with real stories.
你们不听嘻哈吗
I mean, don't you guys listen to hip- hop?
好吧好吧这样如何
OK, OK, how about this?
♪这就是土豆怪兽♪
♪both: *And that's the monster mash♪
♪黑人活得真难♪
♪It's hard being Black ♪
约翰
John.
嘿妈妈
Hey, Mom.
刚才校长给我打电♥话♥了
I just got a call from the principal.
真的吗
Really?
他们想让我接替乔治老师的工作
They want me to take over for Mr. George.
真的吗
They do?
真的
Yeah.
约翰他们说是你提出的
And, John, they said it was your idea.
是真的吗
Is that true?
你生气了吗
Are you mad?
没有没有
No, no.
就是一时之间还无法接受
I'm just overwhelmed.
你会答应的对吧
Well, you're going to do it, right?
我不知道
Well, I don't know.
天呢
Oh, my God.
你一定得答应这是你的机会
You have to say yes. This is your chance.
那如果我工作了谁来给邮递员开门
Well, if I'm working, then who's going to let the mailman
让他进来用洗手间呀
in to use the bathroom?
听我说
Listen to me.
关键在于你你要为自己做点事情
This is about you doing something for yourself.
如果你想的话我就接了这份工作
Well, if it's what you want.
不是天呢这和我无关
No, Jesus. It's not about me.
是看你想要什么
It's about what you want.
这曾经就是你的梦想拜托
This was your dream. I mean, come on.
你得给自己一个机会去实现梦想
You got to give yourself a chance to see it through.
妈妈教你们班
You're not embarrassed to have your mother
你不会尴尬吧
teaching your class?
我已经带着我的泰迪熊去上学了
I already walk around school with my Teddy bear.
我想不会的
I think I'll be fine.
约翰
Oh, John.
谢谢你 -天啊
Thank you. OK, oh, God
好了妈妈 -太谢谢你了
Oh, Jesus, Ma. - Thank you so much.
我太激动了脸都红了
Oh, I'm so excited. I'm all flushed.
我得去地下室站水里凉快凉快
I'm going to go stand in the basement water.
约翰你为她这么做了
John, you did that for her?
对啊
Well, yeah.
你说过没人为她做过任何事情所以
You know, you said nobody ever does anything for her so
对我们关心的也不仅仅是抽大♥麻♥
Yeah, you know, we're not all about smoking weed
在各地的海滩上搜寻
and scouring the beaches of the world
最美的波浪
looking for the perfect wave.
我们是在意的
We care.
你俩越来越有可能不是
It's increasingly possible that the two of you
十足的混♥蛋♥了
might not be total fuck ups
我没事
I'm OKI
苏珊别待在地下室里了
Susan, get out of the basement!
我在看电视呢
I'm watching TV.
大家早上好
Good morning, everyone.
我是你们的代课老师本内特女士
I'm your substitute teacher, Mrs. Bennett.
欧耶开始得不错
Fuck yeah. Great start.
这方面我还是个新手
I'm a little new at this.
所以我希望你能对我有耐心
So I hope you'll be patient with me.
我听说你们在学20世纪
I was told you're studying American poets
早期的美国诗人
of the early 20th century.
对吗
Is that right?
对对没错
Yeah, yeah. That's right
好的
OK.
我们来看看
Now let's see.
乔治老师好像说到T. S. 艾略特了
It looks like Mr. George left off with T. S. Eliot.
是吗
Yeah?
好吧你知道T. S. 艾略特在我心里
OK, well, you know, I have a very special place
有个特别的位置
in my heart for T. S Eliot
是他写了那些关于猫的美妙诗歌♥
He wrote those wonderful poems about cats.
当我还是个小女孩的时候每当我生病在家
And when I was a little girl, whenever I'd get sick
躺在床上
and I'd stay home in bed,
我妈妈就会给我读那些诗
my mother would read me those poems.
听完之后我总会觉得好多了
They always made me feel better.
我说了什么好笑的话吗
Did I say something funny?
你是说你是那种猫女士吗
You're saying you're a cat lady?
对对
Yes, yes.
我想我是个猫女士
I guess I am a cat lady.
怪不得她穿那件衬衫
Well, that explains the blouse.
衬衫
The blouse?
看起来还行吗
Does it look OK?
嗯看起来很棒
Yeah, it looks great.
事实上我奶奶的浴室里有窗帘
Actually, my grandma has curtains in her bathroom,
好像和你这个花纹一样的
And I think that they might be the same pattern.
真是个有趣的巧合呢
Oh, what a funny coincidence.
别烦她艾琳 -就是
Leave her alone, Erin. Yeah.
我们有些人是来学习的
Some of us are here to learn.