泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E03

Part 6 Jan. 17, 2024, 11:49 a.m.

约翰尼
Johnny!
约翰尼我找到了
Johnny, I found it.
谢天谢地
Oh, fuck. Thank God.
我知道我给我们省下八十块钱呢
I know. I just saved us bucks.
等等你在哪儿找到的
Wait, where was it?
是在
Well, it was, uh
在苏珊的内衣抽屉里
it was in Susan's underwear drawer.
什么
What?
是啊就在那个菠萝图案的内衣下面
Yeah, it was behind the ones with the pineapples on it.
别别说了我不想听你描述我妈的内衣
No, no, no! I don't want to hear about my mom's underpants.
可是她拉肚子你就能毫不犹豫的说出口
Oh, but her diarrhea you bring up at the drop of a hat.
泰迪你知道这意味着什么吗
Teddy, do you know what this means?
是老妈找到了《生殖器医院》
Mom found "Genital Hospital. "
她知道我看黄♥片♥了
She knows I watch porn!
天哪我还没这样想过
Oh, boy. It looks that way.
我再也没脸直视她了
I can never face her again.
我们得跑的远远的再也别回来
We have to run away, never to return.
看来也没其他选择了
I see no other option.
我会想念这里的
I'm going to miss this house.
再见了潮湿发霉的天花板
Goodbye, water- stained ceilings.
再见了总是关不上的餐具抽屉
Goodbye, silverware drawer that doesn't close all the way.
再见了被油漆封住的窗子
Goodbye, windows painted shut.
再见了要用上全身才能关上的门
Goodbye, door you have to lean on to close.
再见了剥落一层就能看到下面一层的墙纸
Goodbye, peeling wallpaper that reveals other wallpaper.
再见了从来没干过的地毯
Goodbye, carpet that's never been dry.
再见了不让扩容的浴室
Goodbye, unpermitted bathroom addition.
再见了每次碰到都会被电到的灯
Goodbye, lamp that shocks you every time you touch it.
再见了往前数三任教皇的照片
Goodbye, picture of a pope from two popes ago.
再见了装满了塑料袋的塑料袋
Goodbye, plastic bag full of plastic bags.
再见了角落里发了霉的药箱
Goodbye, medicine cabinet with black mold in the corner.
天啊咱们赶紧走人吧
Jesus, let's get the fuck out of here.
是啊哪来那么多废话
Yeah, no shit.
要是你能帮我们处理问题
We sure would like it
我们会很开心的
if you'd help us with our problem.
警长你唯一的问题
Only problem you've got, Sheriff,
就是没种
is a short supply of guts.
你们才不需要我
You people don't need me.
听着在那栋楼的楼顶上
Look, place at least a couple good riflemen
安排几个优秀的狙击手
on top of that building up there.
那些绿袋子后面
Maybe a couple more with shotguns down
也能安排几个拿猎枪的
behind green bags over there.
你看什么呢
What you watching?
《荒野浪子》
"High Plains Drifter. "
这周看克林特·伊斯特伍德的电影
It's Clint Eastwood week.
是讲什么的
What's it about?
他是个牛仔
Oh, he's a cowboy.
不过到最后你会发现他是个鬼魂
But at the end, you realize he's a ghost.
但他还是能开枪
But he can still shoot a gun,
所以他并不是个真正的鬼魂
so, you know, not like- he's not like a real ghost.
马蒂亲爱的
Matty, honey,
我们能谈谈
can we talk about that movie
昨天你看的那部电影吗
that you were watching yesterday?
我不记得是什么了
I can't remember what it was.
这些电影都差不多
They're all kind of the same movie.
你看着开心吗
Are you entertained by them?
我是个男的啊所有男人都喜欢
I'm a guy. I mean, all guys like'em.
那是你想要的吗
Is that what you want?
就是电影里的东西
What you see in those movies?
才不是我只是看看
God no. I just - I just watch'em.
有哪个是你最喜欢的吗
Well is there one you like best?
我喜欢《永不低头》（走遍每一个通道但弄松它们）
I like"Every Which Way But Loose. "
那个可狂野了
Yeah, that one's crazy.
里面有只猴子对所有人竖中指（指交）
There's a monkey that gives everybody the finger.
我可爱看那个了
Yeah, I'd love to see that.
气氛好浓烈啊
It is getting hot in here.
热的不得了了
Powerful hot.
不能开空调
We can't run the air conditioner.
里面有只死鸟
Found a dead bird in it.
维修工说我们得等它的内脏完全干透了
Repair guy says we got to wait till its guts dry out
才能重新打开
before we run the unit again.
这我可不懂
Well I wouldn't know about that.
我只是个小姑娘
I'mjust a girl.
你干嘛呢
What are you doing?
我想要大香蕉
I wanted a banana.
那就吃啊
Well, then eat it.
你盯着我♥干♥嘛
Why the hell are you staring at me?
因为
Because.
我很坏坏呢
I've been bad.
什么叫你很坏
What do you mean you've been bad?
我的天啊苏珊
oh, Jesus Christ, Susan.
这是最后一根香蕉吗
Is that the last one?
老天爷
God damn it!
那我还有什么零食可吃啊
Now what am I supposed to have for my snack?
好极了苏珊
Oh! Oh great, Susan!
品客薯片里就剩一片
A Pringles can with one left!
真是好极了
That'llbe satisfying!
这该死的灯又电到我了
Fucking lamp shocked me again!
谁
Yeah?
苏珊阿姨怎么了
Aunt Suze, what's up?
布莱尔我能跟你聊聊吗
Blaire, can I talk to you for a minute?
好啊进来吧
Sure. Yeah, come on in.
发生什么了
What, uh, what's the matter?
那个
Well
昨晚我和马蒂出去吃饭
last night, Matty and I went out to dinner.
我把自己收拾的漂漂亮亮
I got all dressed up.
还用了杂♥志♥上的倩碧香水样品
I rubbed on a Clinique sampler from Redbook.
我觉得他根本没注意到
I don't even think he noticed.
然后等我们回到家我打开电视
And then when we got home, I turned on the TV.
我发现了
And I found
什么
What?
黄♥片♥
A porn.
我觉得马蒂一直在看黄♥片♥
I think Matty's been watching porns.
这样啊
Right.
你觉得他会是
Do you think maybe he
不再被我吸引了吗
doesn't think I'm exciting anymore?
是我令人失望了吗
Am I a disappointment?
不当然不是了苏珊阿姨
No, absolutely not, Aunt Suze.
听我说
Listen to me.
你大概是我认识的最棒的人了
You are probably the most wonderful person that I know.
但如果那才是他想要的我该怎么办
But if that's what he wants, what can I do?
我可不想掐住另一个女人
I don't want to have to choke other women.
我觉得你不用这样
Yeah, I don't think you need to.
我如果这是马蒂想要的我会做的
But I'll do it if that's what Matty wants.
不咱们还是别用这个法子
No, let's not go down that route.
我会向她们一样做
I'll do what those women did.
我真的觉得没那个必要
I really don't think that's necessary.
我甚至愿意像电影里大香肠医生那样做
I- I- I'|| even do what Dr. Sausage did in that movie.
我会的 -好了
I'll do it. OK一
我会做的 -别说了
I'll do it. Stop.
听着
Look.
要把这个说出口真是很艰难但是
This is difficult for me to say, but, um,
你看到的磁带
the tape you found.
是我的
it's mine.
什么
What?
真抱歉
I'm sorry.
我太粗心了
I apologize for being so careless.
真不该把它留在录像机里的
I never should have left it in the VCR
太蠢了
It was stupid.
所以那不是马蒂的
So it's not Matty's?
不不是的
No, it's not.