泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E01

Part 2 Jan. 15, 2024, 7:35 p.m.

which I mostly do.
20世纪60年代以前他们不算是白人
Of course, they were n't white up until the 1960s
朝鲜战争后他们的地位得到了很大提升
They got a big bump after Korea.
他们也没变得有多白
And it wasn't so much they got more white,
古巴人也没变得有多黑但我也都接受了嘛
the Cubans got more Black, but I was OK with that too.
这就是你在罗尼婚礼上的敬酒词吧
Isn't this the toast
所以你才被赶了出来
that got you kicked out of Ronny's wedding?
再说一次我当时就是想解释
Again, I was explaining
为什么他和一个意大利人结婚是没有问题的
why it was OK that he married an Italian.
老天爷啊
Jesus Christ.
你这不就是论证了我的观点吗
You are literally proving my point.
你特么就是个大号♥的种族主义者
You are a raging fuckin'racist.
喂我们在吃晚饭呢
Hey, we're at dinner.
公平地说布莱尔你也会种族歧视
Well, in fairness, Blaire, you can be racist too.
什么
What? - Mm-hmm.
不不可能
No, I'm not.
你还记得你小时候吗
Do you remember when you were a little girl?
你会剪掉芭比娃娃的头发
You used to cut the hair off your Barbies?
然后呢
Yes?
你会先剪掉黑芭比的头发
You used to cut the Black Barbie's hair off first
看看好不好看
to see how it looked
不是吧你说真的吗
Oh, come on. Are you serious with that?
如果你觉得喜欢
And then if you liked it
才会下手剪白芭比的头发
then you'd cut the white Barbie's hair.
你也有点种族歧视哦布莱尔
So you're a little racist too, Blaire.
哇哦这比今天发生的所有事情
Wow, that is weirdly so much more damning
都更值得被遣责
than anything else today.
她很小就开始这样了
And it started when she was very young too.
你们特么不是认真的吧
Are you guys for fucking real right now?
这和变♥态♥纳粹医生的狗屁言论没什么两样
I mean, that is some sick Nazi doctor shit right there.
你有没有呢
Did you?
有没有什么
What?
有没有先剪掉黑芭比的头发
Did you cut the Black Barbie's hair first?
好吧对我是会先剪黑芭比的头发
Fine, yes, OK, I cut the Black Barbie's hair, yes.
我才八岁好吧
I was eight years old, OK?
我啥也不懂
I didn't fucking know any better.
黑芭比叫什么
What was the Black Barbie's name?
我不记得了一哟吼这下更糟了
- I don't remember. - Oh, it gets even worse!
我去她不记得黑芭比的名字了
Oh, my God, she can't remember the Black Barbie's name.
但我平等地爱着两个芭比
But I still love both Barbies equally.
平等且分别地爱着-对对
And separately? - Yeah, yeah.
你的芭比梦幻屋里的泳池
What was the water fountain situation like
是怎么搭的-对是不是给
at the Dream House? - Yeah, was there like
黑芭比开了一个特殊入口
a special entrance for the Black Barbie?
听着
- Look -- - Oh.
是不是还给它起名为"我有一个梦幻屋
Did you call it the " I Have a Dream House "?
啊哈我就是个孩子
A-ha! - OK, I was a fucking child.
好吧我至少还有这么个理由
All right? At least I have that excuse.
而你们都是成年人了
You guys are adults.
你们知道问题出在哪吗
You know what the problem is?
教育
Education.
这个家里的人太缺乏教育了
There is a complete lack of education in this family.
不对我有上学啊
That's not true. I go to school.
我在上陶艺课
I'm taking a pottery class
那泰迪呢
What about Ted? Hmm?
这辈子没有接受过一天教育
He's never had a day of education in his life,
从他说波兰佬就看得出来
and it shows, using words like " Polack."
就是波兰佬
Oh, it was " Polack."
老师说我做的烟灰缸很有天赋
The teacher says my ashtray shows promise.
你应该每天和约翰一起上学
You should be going to school every day with John.
学点东西
You'd learn something.
或许就不会发表这些无知言论了
And maybe you wouldn't make all these ignorant comments.
不用了
Uh, yeah, no thanks.
为什么
Why not?
因为
Because.
电视
TV.
苏珊阿姨帮我说说
Aunt Suze, help me out.
泰迪说不定会很有意思的
Well, Ted, you might have fun.
而且约翰肯定愿意你陪他一起上学
And I'm sure John would love to have you there
不不我不会开心的
No, no, I would not have fun.
《价格竟猜》早上10 点开播
And " The Price is Right " is on at 10:00 a. m.
我会错过炫光接球环节的
and I'd miss Plinko
而且约翰尼这么尊重我他不会希望我错过的
and Johnny respects me too much to want me to do that.
确实我尊重他
• I do. I respect him.
我回家以后他会把炫光接球环节发生的事都告诉我
He tells me all about Plinko when I get home.
你这借口太烂了
That is such a cop-out.
你们不在家时我要看着房♥子
Look, I guard the house when you guys are out.
哪有啊
You do not.
-有啊-怎么看
- Yeah, I do. - How?
如果有人闯进来你会怎么办
If somebody broke in, what would you do?
我会告诉他后院里有好多好东西
I--I would tell him all the good stuff's in the backyard
等他出到院子里就把门锁上
and then I'd lock the door behind him.
这纯纯的浪费时间我还约了莎拉
This is pointless. I have plans with Sarah.
今天的炫光接球太好看了
Oh, Plinko was wonderful today.
炫光接球绝对是《价格经常》里最棒的游戏
Plinko is the best " Price is Right " game.
是
我们住在特别的年代
We live in such special times.
到目前为止共1000美元
$1, 000 total thus far.
-天-第三个是
- Oh, God. - Third one is...
天
Oh, God.
卧草草草草
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
靠靠靠靠靠
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
耶我的天
Yes! Ah! Oh, my God!
我想找人叨逼叨两句
I want to tell somebody.
算了没事
No, it's OK. It's all right
就成为我独享的一刻吧
This will be my moment.
好吧又是独自在家的一天
All right, another day with the house to myself
玩点什么好呢玩什么玩什么
What's fun? What's fun? What's fun? What's fun?
对了去看看能不能找到马蒂藏的小黄♥片♥儿
Oh, let's see if we can find where Matty hides his porn.
天什么都没有吗
Jesus, he's got nothing?
结婚25年居然都没有小黄♥片♥儿
25 years of marriage and no porn,
要我♥干♥脆一枪毙了自己
I'd put a bullet in my head
找到了
Oh, here we go.
谈什么持枪权
Oh, talk about the right to bear arms.
持(熊)枪的熊哈
Bear arms bearing arms, right?
天这么好笑的笑话大家都错过了
Oh, man, everybody's missing all this great stuff
等会儿我知道该怎么玩了
Oh, wait. Oh, I know what to do with this
太帅了
Awesome!
幸好我在家里试玩了这个
Oh, I am so glad I tried this at home
什么鬼啊
What the hell was that?
没事的菲驰克太太
Oh, it's Ok, Mrs. Fechko.
我只是在做个科学实验
I'm just doing a science experiment.
你拿的是枪吗
Is that a gun?
它是有这么个功能
I mean, that's one function of it, yeah.
那你开枪打啥呢
Well, what are you shooting at?
没啥
Nothing.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
确定
Yeah.
好吧
All right.
我去
Ah, fuck.
那俄♥罗♥斯♥拳击手拥有各种科技对吧
The Russian boxer has all this technology, right?
但是洛奇在山上呢
But Rocky's way up in the mountains.
他只有些滚木啊什么的
And all he's got is, like, logs and shit.
这相差太悬殊了因为俄♥国♥人
So it's wicked uneven because the Russians
把德拉戈身体的各个部分都用机器武装起来了
have machines for, like, every part of Drago's body.
但你知道他们哪部分没有机器吗
But you know what part they don't have a machine for?
这里就在这
This guy, right here
你真该看看
Aw, you should have seen it.
我现在应该也能看听上去他们都拍电影了
I'm sure I still can. It sounds like they film ed it.
我不明白了一开始聊的堕胎
I don't know how we started talking about abortion
最后怎么聊到这了
and ended up here.