泰迪熊（2024）

Ted S01E04

Part 6 Jan. 20, 2024, 1:31 p.m.

我就不用了谢谢
Yeah, I'll pass on that. Thanks.
感觉到你好像带着股批判腔呢
Picking up a little bit of a judgy vibe there.
这可是可♥卡♥因♥啊
Yeah, it's crack.
好吧
Uh, OK.
我敢打赌说
I bet you have some idiosyncrasies
你肯定也有些我觉得诡异的怪癖
I might find a little odd.
我觉得可♥卡♥因♥算不上怪癖吧
I don't think crack, like, counts as an idiosyncrasy.
我能用下你的电♥话♥吗
Can I use your phone?
行吧就在那边
Yeah, yeah, there's one right over there.
我明天想睡个懒觉
Yeah, so I just want to sleep in tomorrow,
所以我得打给办公室说有炸♥弹♥警告
so I'm just going to call in a bomb scare to my office.
看看是谁回来了
Well, look who's back.
又是我们
Us again.
嘿今天是万圣节还是圣诞节啊
Hey, is it Halloween or is it Christmas?
请进 -谢谢
Come on in. - Thank you.
电♥话♥还是占线
Phone's still busy.
那边到底是怎么回事
What the fuck is going on over there?
约翰尼可能很担心我在哪里
Johnny's probably freaking out wondering where I am.
达蒙教授我们很抱歉
Professor Damon, we're so sorry
这样麻烦你
to inconvenience you like this.
一点也不麻烦我很高兴有人来陪我
Not at all. I'm happy for the company.
既然你来了
Say, as long as I've got you here,
我想给你看样东西
there's something I'd like to show you.
哦天哪要来力
Oh, God. Here it comes.
盯着蛋蛋看这样会容易接受一点
Just stare at the balls. It'll be better that way.
这是我下一本书的开篇
It's the opening chapter of my next book.
昨天刚写完
Just finished it yesterday.
你想读一下吗
Would you like to read it?
天啊我很荣幸
Oh, my God. I'd be honored.
太棒了
Fabulous.
不要让那些错别字困扰你
Don't let the typos throw you.
他是个有阅读障碍的叙述者
He's a dyslexic narrator.
泰迪趁我们正紧张地等待布莱尔的判决
Ted, why don't you and I play some
不如我们先去打打台球吧
billiards while I nervously await Blaire's verdict?
欢迎来到我的台球室
Welcome to my billiard room.
好了哥们我们得好好谈谈
AlI right, buddy, you and me got to have a little talk.
我很乐意
I'd love to.
我先给你倒杯酒怎么样
How about I freshen your drink first?
很好
Fine.
哎呦
Whoops.
你好泰迪
Hello, Ted.
这是到底怎么回事哥们
Uh, whatwhat's going on there, buddy?
我想和你做♥爱♥
I want to make love to you.
我相信当你对某人有感觉时
I believe forthright honesty is the only approach when you
直率的诚实是唯一的方法
have feelings for somebody.
我这一生都在等待像你这样的小熊
I've been waiting all my life for someone like you
你毛茸茸的曲线你无穷的奇思妙想
Your furry curves, your boundless whimsy
我的奇思妙想有穷的
It it has bounds.
自从你今晚走出我的家门
I've been going crazy since you
我都快疯了
walked out my door tonight.
我希望我们一起进行私通
I want us to have illicit congress together.
你知道布莱尔真的很喜欢你
You know, Blaire is really into you.
我不在乎
I don't care
我要的是你
It's you I want.
是的我
Yeah, I- -
我不和别的熊约会
I don't date other bears.
我不一定要当一只熊
I don't have to be a bear.
如果你愿意我可以是一匹小马
I could be a pony if you prefer,
或者是一只长着彩色羽毛有一个功能齐全的泄殖腔的鸟
or a bird with colorful plumage and a functioning cloaca.
是啊孩子你知道的这是行不通的
Yeah, boy, you know, it just wouldn't work out.
我不在乎别人怎么想
I don't care what people would think.
如果我能挽着你参加学院活动
If I could take you on my arm to faculty events,
我就不会感到尴尬了
I wouldn't be embarrassed
对我来说这不是问题的终点
Yeah, that's not the holdup for me.
我明白了
I see.
所以你的答案是否定的
So your answer is no.
教授你介意我用一下你的卫生间吗
Hey, Professor, do you mind if I use your bathr- -
布莱尔
Blaire.
对你看完了吗有什么想法吗
Any thoughts about the pages you read?
太好了
Great.
很很棒
Uh, they they were great.
那向丁尼生致敬那段呢
And the homage to Tennyson?
可行吗
Did that play it all?
嗯很好
Uh, fine.
我们自己出去
We'll let ourselves out.
你知道如果我们能把这件事保密的话
You know, if we could just kind of keep this quiet.
我是出了名的高风亮节
I have a reputation as a guy who doesn't do this.
当然当然
Sure, of course.
但有一个条件你让布莱尔
On one condition, you make Blaire
做你的研究助理
your research assistant.
没关系泰迪
That's OK, Ted.
不不不不布莱尔不
No, no. No, no, Blaire, no.
你特别聪明你也很努力
You're wicked smart. You work hard.
这是你应得的 -他说得对布莱尔
You deserve it. - He's right, Blaire.
你有很强的分♥析♥能力
You've got a great analytical mind.
我得睡一觉考虑一晚
I'm going to have to sleep on that.
哦还有一件事我们需要你的车
Oh, and one more thing, we're going to need your bike.
嗨约翰尼
Oh. Hi, Johnny.
你想感受一下那些恐怖的眼球吗
You want to feel some spooky eyeballs?
我只是在开玩笑的
I'm just kidding.
它们只是去了皮的葡萄
They're just peeled grapes.
我不会伤害任何人的约翰尼
Oh, I'd never really hurt anyone, Johnny.
妈我受不了这家伙了
Mom, I cannot take this guy anymore.
怎么了
What's the matter?
威尔好吗他他是个怪胎
WiII, OK? He's- - he's a freak.
他是个疯子你就不能让他走吗
He's crazy. Can't you get him to leave?
他是你的朋友啊约翰尼
Well, he's your friend, Johnny.
如果你想让他离开就得你去请他离开
If you want him to leave, you'll have to ask him.
他不是我的朋友
He's not my friend.
是你邀请他过来的再说他都40岁了
You invited him over. Plus, he's like 40.
我已经47岁了我们还是朋友呢
Well, I'm 47, and we're friends.
对啊你是我妈妈啊
Yeah, you're my mom.
即使你还在我肚子里的时候
Even when you were still in my guts
你也会踢我的子♥宫♥颈但我知道你只是在说
you used to kick my cervix, but I knew it was you just saying,
嗨我等不及要出来做朋友了
hi, I can't wait to come out and be friends.
行行好吧我来
Yeah, yeah. Fine, I'll do it.
好好
Yeah, yeah.
天啊
Oh, my God.
哦不不不
Oh, no, no, no.
好吧 -威尔
AII right. - Will?
你在里面吗
You in there?
是的请进
Yeah, come on in.
真不敢相信我们居然
Oh, I cannot believe we're taking
在同一时间洗澡
a bath at the same time.
就像我们在一起洗澡一样
You know, it's like we're taking a bath together.
好了我得走了
AlI right, I got to go.
但我我晚点再跟你说爸爸
But I'lI- I'II talk to you later, Dad.
我爱你
I love you.
我爱啊
I love- - ah.
他没听到
Didn't get him.
搞什么鬼老兄
What the fuck, dude?
什么搞什么
What the fuck what?
谁会跑到别人家
Who just comes over to somebody's house
钻进别人的浴缸里泡澡
and gets in their tub?
嗯我会
Uh, I do.
这叫做充分利用生命
It's called making the most out of life.
有些人等着收到派对邀请我就直接开始
Some people wait for an invite to the party, I start it.
我会抓住时机约翰尼
I seize the moment, Johnny.
你看完美的例子你整晚都在闷闷不乐
You see, perfect example, you've been a drip all night.
你猜怎么着我度过了一个美妙的夜晚
Guess what? I've had a killer evening.