耻辱堂（2020）

Shameless Hall of Shame S01E06

Part 1 March 2, 2021, 10:08 a.m.

无♥耻♥家庭之无♥耻♥堂
第六集
弗兰克加拉格家昔日的鬼魂
我们就把他留在店里吗
Are we just gonna leave him there?
不能把他丢到街上外面太冷了又下雪
Too cold and snowy to dump him out in the street.
但愿他别偷东西
I hope he doesn't steal anything.
小凯和小维会宰了我们的
Kev and V'll kill us.
开什么玩笑
Are you kidding me?
我们明早回来时
Frank's ass will still be lying there
弗兰克还会躺在原处
when we come back in the morning.
弗兰克你又醉倒了
Frank. You passed out again.
弗兰克是我
Frank, it's me.
我们把他挪开吗
Should we move him?
醒醒弗兰克
Come on, Frank.
我时间不多
I don't have a lot of time.
老爸醒醒起来
Dad, wake up. Get up.
-弗兰克 -弗兰克
- Frank? - Frank?
-弗兰克 -弗兰克
- Frank! - Frank.
-弗兰克 -起来
- Hey. Frank? - Get up.
快点哥们该醒醒了
Come on, buddy. Up and at 'em.
-弗兰克 -醒醒
- Frank! - Wake up!
快起来
Get up!
起床了你个懒猪
Rise and shine, you lazy fuck!
别伤害我
Don't hurt me.
我以为吧台上的钱是我的
I thought the money on the bar was mine.
我没偷我会还给你的
I didn't steal it. I will pay you back...
下次
next...
老爸是你吗
Dad?
我看着像腿间带屌♥的戴安娜王妃吗
Do I look like Princess Diana with a hog between my legs?
你是鬼吗
Uh, you're a ghost?
人死了就会变成鬼
That's what happens when people die.
你还真成了火箭专家呢
And a real rocket scientist you turned out to be.
三二一滑
Three, two, one, go!
把钱给我
Give me the money.
弗兰克
Frank?
啥不是
What? No.
弗兰克你怎么会在这儿
Frank! What are you doing here?
感恩节快乐
Happy Thanksgiving.
我需要威士忌
I need whiskey.
我们必须得保证水分
We have to stay hydrated.
我在想要不要买♥♥带空调座椅的
Wonder if I should've gotten the air-conditioned seats...
为了我的屁屁
for my tushy.
法官阁下恕我直言
Uh, Your Honor, all due respect,
也许现在正是您做出改变的时候
maybe it's time for you to be
把世界变得像您期望的那样
the change you wanna see in the world.
傻♥逼♥
Hey, dipshit!
内♥裤♥不错
Nice panties.
电击疗法
Electroshock therapy.
在电视上看的
I saw it on TV.
插电
Plug that in.
-你说真的吗 -怎么我结巴了吗
- Really? - What, did I stutter?
我说了...
I said--
你怎么会出现在这里
What are you doing here?
我是加拉格家昔日的鬼魂
I'm the ghost of Gallaghers past...
或是类似的玩意
or some shit like that.
我被派来帮你改过
I've been sent here to help you change your ways.
为什么派你
Why you?
没有其他人想来
Well, no one else wanted to do it,
所以他擅自指定了我
so he volunteered me.
上面你上天堂了吗
Upstairs? You're in heaven?
上面是地狱
Upstairs is hell.
下面才是天堂
Downstairs is heaven.
人们搞反了好多年了
People have been getting this wrong for years.
你相信有上帝吗弗兰克
You believe in God, Frank?
我相信有一种力量
I believe in a force
自认为比我更强大
that thinks it's greater than myself.
当你流浪街头
When you're living on the street,
你开始质疑是否真有上帝存在
you start to question if there really is a god.
世上根本就没有上帝
There is no God.
我们都逃不了一死
We're all gonna die.
不管他们用多少功夫来冥想
I don't care how much they meditate.
当死亡降临时
When the time comes,
那些印度教人都会吓得屁滚尿流
those Hindus will be shitting their pants,
就像其他所有人一样
just like the rest of us.
你知道他们会想什么吗
You know what they'll be thinking?
"操早知道尝尝牛排了"
"Fuck, I wish I'd tried steak."
想要启迪都是浪费时间
Enlightenment is a waste of time.
教派可不是新兴公♥司♥ 伊恩
Religion isn't a startup, Ian.
你要是想和上帝对话
You want God to talk to you,
就得信那些经典教派
you gotta stick with the classics:
佛教犹太教基♥督♥教
Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity.
皮特神父我一直在找你呢
Father Pete. Just who I was looking for.
银器都被锁起来了弗兰克
Silver's locked up, Frank.
好吧念十遍《圣母经》点盏长明灯
All right, ten Hail Marys and light a candle.
十遍搞什么就十遍吗
Ten? Really? Just ten--
好好二十遍你到底想怎么样
All right, 20. What the hell do you want?
《圣经》是上帝的格言
The Bible is the word of God...
如果它被詹姆士国王重写过
How can it be the word of God...
传了一代又一代了
...passed down for generations!
怎么可能是上帝说的话呢
...if it was rewritten by King James?
现在的宗教就是缺乏幽默感
There's not enough laughs in religion these days.
只充斥着愤怒与惩罚孩子们都不感兴趣
Too much fire and brimstone. It turns the kids off.
你要是破坏了规矩
And if you break the rules,
就会万劫不复永世不得超生
you burn in hell for all eternity.
这就是你想要的启迪
And there's your enlightenment.
开悟
Enlightenment.
涅槃
Nirvana.
我喜欢他们的第一张专辑
I loved their first album.
就这样了吗你要拒绝
So that's it? You're turning away sinners
请求原谅的罪人
who are looking for forgiveness?
这就是为什么白种小孩成群的投奔真♥主♥阿♥拉♥
This is why white kids are flocking to Allah.
如果人们在天主教会都无法
If a man can't find a little comfort
找寻到些许慰藉
from the Catholic Church,
那还不如追随马丁·路德呢
maybe it's time to admit Martin Luther had a point.
人类的生殖器就像天赐的指南针
The human genitalia is like God's compass.
要是我们企图指引它们
Our devices don't work
去一个它们不想去的地方那它们可就要闹罢♥工♥了
if we try to point them in a direction they don't wanna go in.
我们必须否认存在着永久的实体
We have to deny the existence of a permanent entity.
所有的事物都处于稳定流动的状态
All things are in a constant state of flux,
没有恒定不变的状态
and no permanent state exists by itself.
我丢东西的时候我会祈祷
When I lose something, I like to say a little prayer.
天父圣母玛利亚
Heavenly Father, sweet Mary,
她骑的小驴仔还有那个小鼓手
that donkey, little drummer boy...
东西丢了找不到
Something's lost and cannot be found.
圣安东尼求你帮帮我
Please, Saint Anthony, look around.
阿门
Amen.
-不错呀弗兰克 -谢谢
- Frank, great! - Thank you.
你还没丢掉工作呢
You didn't lose your job yet.
你跟我说话的时候我希望你叫我"弗兰西斯"
When you address me, I'd prefer you call me Francis.
今早我做了个新工牌
I made a new tag this morning.
叫我"圣徒"也可以
I'll also accept "Saint."
"弗兰西斯"指代圣方济各
"Francis" refers to Saint Francis of Assisi,
被指派为动物们的守护神
designated patron saint of animals.
我一直很喜欢动物
I've always been a lover of animals.
我会为他们祈福吗
Do I bless them?
我愿意
Yes, I do.
我去她朝弗兰克走过去了
Oh, shit, she's walking to Frank!
这些孩子走向我
"Suffer the little children to come to me,
请勿阻止他们因为上帝的王国
and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God
终将属于他们
belongs to such as these."
卧♥槽♥ 他还真是圣弗兰西斯了
Shit, he really is Saint Francis.
圣经上说