耻辱堂（2020）

Shameless Hall of Shame S01E05

Part 2 March 2, 2021, 10:07 a.m.

I have five kids.
他们是我的兄弟姐妹但我抚养他们
They're my siblings, but I raise them.
我抚养了一个反♥社♥会♥的人
I'm raising a sociopath.
你马上毕业了
You're graduating.
我没毕业遗憾到现在
I didn't, and I still regret it.
-谁阻碍你了 -黛比卡尔利亚姆还有你
- Who's stopping you? - Debbie, Carl, Liam, you.
我不会再照看一个孩子了
I'm not taking care of another kid.
我养大了五个混孩子
I raised five fucking kids.
你根本没有能力抚养孩子
There's no way you're going to be able to raise a baby,
这破事肯定又落到我身上
and I am going to get stuck doing it!
你觉得如果你外出一晚上
You feel like the world would stop spinning on its axis
世界就要脱轨了
if you take a night off.
你知道吗飞机下坠的时候
You know when a plane starts going down
他们要求先戴上你的氧气面罩
and they tell you to put your mask on
再帮助他人
before helping anyone else?
带上你的面罩菲奥娜
Put your mask on, Fiona!
是吗
Yeah?
我还从没坐过飞机呢
Well, I've never been on a plane!
当上监护人不代表你会突然成为超级妈妈
You know, being guardian doesn't make you super-mom.
你注意到了呀
You noticed.
我养孩子还能再失败点吗
Could I possibly be doing a worse job of raising these kids?
至少利亚姆没有在吸毒
Liam isn't smoking crack.
我就是告诉你别什么都自己扛
I'm just saying, uh, it's not all on you.
希望我别毁了这帮孩子
I hope I'm not fucking up the kids.
谢谢
Thanks.
她离开了我们
She left!
我才九岁
I was nine!
照顾我们所有人
Taking care of all of us.
我的责任就是努力维持好这个家
My job is to keep this house going.
我们要锁门了
We're locking up the house.
为了你们拼死拼活给你们做饭
Busting my ass, making meals,
操持好一切
keeping everything straight.
能先等我一会儿吗
Can you give me a minute first?
没问题
Sure.
我牺牲了一切养育他们你猜怎么着
This is about what I did, and you know what?
我他妈的干得很不赖
I did a fuckin' great job.
黛比参加了辩论队
Debbie is on the debate team.
马上就要打全国赛了
Going to nationals.
利普是他们班的第一名
Lip, top of his class.
绝对的天才
He set the curve.
伊恩在预备役军官训练营被升了官
Ian was promoted in ROTC,
他英文水平超群
and he tested out of English,
卡尔做的东西在科技博览会上酷"爆"了
and Carl made something blow up for his science fair,
你猜怎么着
and you know what?
他们能有今天的成就你没出过一分力
They did it all, no thanks to you,
因为你根本就不在我们身边
because you weren't here.
你准备好接手监护权了吗
Are you prepared to assume custody?
准备好了
I am.
如果你决定这样做
If you decide to do this,
就没有回头路了
there's no changing your mind.
我们现在说的事关乎你的余生
We're talking about the rest of your life.
你同意成为这些孩子们的监护人吗
Do you agree to be the guardian of these children?
是的我同意
Yes, I do.
他们还是我的孩子们
They'd still be my kids,
但她会承担全部职责吗
but she'd have all the responsibility?
我觉得可以
Works for me.
把你的孩子们带回家吧
Take your children home.
看看
Let's see here.
可以了
Here we go.
你们好啊
Hi. How are you?
你们想了解菲奥娜
Um, so you want to know about Fiona.
提醒我一下菲奥娜是哪个来着
Now, remind me, which one is Fiona again?
开玩笑的她是我姐
I'm joking. She is my sister.
比我大四岁
She's four years older.
很善良
Good soul.
她曾操持着这个家
She, uh, ran this household.
她就是我们这个家的
She was the, uh, the glue,
粘合剂
held this family together.
没有她我们都活不成
We couldn't have survived without her.
你们大伙觉得一晚上没有菲奥娜能挺住不
You think you guys can survive one night without Fiona?
不能
No!
开玩笑的
Kidding.
-当然可以 -对啊放心玩去吧
- Sure. - Yeah, have a great time.
孩童总动员开始咯
The rush is starting!
我没法同时做早餐准备日托
I can't do breakfast and set up for daycare all at the same time.
卡尔泳池我拆了一半
Carl, I took down half of the pool.
剩下的归你了
You have to do the rest.
今年夏天你可得找点活干
Look, you gotta get a job this summer
挣点钱我们好过冬
so we can make it through the winter, all right?
茉莉擦一下宝宝玩具桌和磨牙玩具
Molly, wipe down the extra saucers and teething toys,
再检查一下枕巾上有没有头虱和鼻屎
and check the nap pads for head lice and boogers.
咱们走了利亚姆送你去高大上的学校上学
Come on, Liam, we gotta get you to your fancy school.
菲奥娜说了我可以送他
Fiona says I can take him.
这家已经不归菲奥娜管了
Fiona's not in charge anymore.
饼干1块钱布朗尼1块5
We have dollar a cookie, buck fifty a brownie,
70就可以过过枪瘾
70 for the gun.
你能这样吗
Can you do this?
要看着他喝完
Make sure he drinks the whole thing.
他需要补充电解质
He needs his electrolytes.
我一直在帮黛比看孩子
I've been helping Debbie with daycare.
谁还想听故事
Who wants a bonus story?
我
Me!
故事叫做
This is called
《菲奥娜不能说的秘密》高二 2006
"Fiona's Thoughts, Sophomore Year, 2006."
我今天跟克雷格·海斯纳调情了
"Flirted with Craig Heisner today.
他牛仔裤下的小屁屁看起来好销魂
"His ass looked great in his jeans.
我打赌他肯定能抱起我转上几圈
I bet he could really pick me up and throw me around."
卡尔我们也带他们上学吗
Yo, Carl, we taking all them to school, too?
不是送他们回以前住的停车场
No, back to the parking lot where they live.
-我们坐不下 -当然能了
- We're not all gonna fit. - Sure we will.
糖霜饼干比斯吉面包还有...
Frosted Flakes, Bisquick, and--ooh, ooh!
还有两张汰渍洗衣粉买♥♥一赠一的优♥惠♥券
Even got a couple of two-for-ones for Tide.
我从我打工的那家破饭店带了点爆米花虾
Brought some popcorn shrimp back from my shitty-ass job.
这些都是什么
What's all that shit?
我的焊接装备
My welding gear.
干什么用的
The hell is it for?
投资未来
The future.
到了发工资的那天
But, come payday,
你们就知道谁才是真正的船长了
you'll see who the real captain is.
搞定了
Got it.
太恶心了
That's disgusting.
除了焊接工我应该把管道工也加进简历
I should add "plumber" to my welding résumé.
-是你的小孩 -是
- That's your kid? - Yep.
随意播种无所畏惧
Not afraid to knock a bitch up.
你要来吗
You game?
这些是从假日旅馆的伊梅达尔那里弄来的
We got these from Imelda over at the Holiday Inn.
用它取暖不错
It'll be a good way to stay warm.
3500美元我来给
3 1/2 Gs? I got you covered.
要百元大钞还是小额钞票
You want hunnies or small bills?
你今天要照看利亚姆记得吗
You're watching Liam today, remember?
我可没和你们一样抽大♥麻♥
I haven't abused marijuana like the rest of you,
所以我当然记得
so, yes, I remember.
壁炉小黛
Uh, working furnace, Debs?
马上
On it!
把房♥子买♥♥回来
Buy back the house.
听我说
No, look, look, look.
别会错我的意思
Don't-- don't get me wrong, okay?
菲奥娜绝对竭尽全力了
Fiona tried her absolute best, okay?
但真要算功劳的话就这么一说哈
But if we were keeping score, which, of course, we're not,
我想可能还有一个人
right, I think there may have been somebody else
让这个家变得更加和睦友爱