耻辱堂（2020）

Shameless Hall of Shame S01E02

Part 5 March 2, 2021, 10:06 a.m.

"Whoa, this is kind of freaky-deaky."
不能让其他男的加入不能让其他男的加入
No other dudes. No other dudes.
我们知道你和伊冯的事了
We know about Yvon.
-伊冯是我老公 -这么说你不是和你♥爸♥啪啪啪了
- Yvon is husband. - So you didn't fuck your dad?
离开俄♥罗♥斯♥之后就没有了
Not since I left Russia.
你们有什么需要咨♥询♥的
So what brings you here?
那个
So, um...
我跟我的两个老婆
me and my two wives are having trouble
互看对方不顺眼
seeing eye to eye...
互看双方不顺眼
eyes to eyes.
我做饭我给他们口♥交♥
I cook. I give oral.
我保护他们不受危险俄♥国♥人伤害
I protect from dangerous Russian.
对他们我付出一切
Everything for these two.
小凯小维你们听到了吗
Kev and V, are you hearing Lana?
-是的 -她说了什么
- Yes. - What is she saying?
她给我们口♥交♥
She gives oral.
我还以为你就是个帮人打飞机的妓♥女♥
I always thought you were just some handjob whore.
没关系
Oh, that's okay.
之前我也觉得你是个文盲酒保兼皮条客
I thought you were illiterate bartender pimp.
订单上写的是斯维特拉娜·费歇尔
Paperwork says Svetlana Fisher owns the joint.
我是艾莱伯的新老板
I am new owner of Alibi.
家庭重聚干杯
To being a family again.
移♥民♥局不许动
Immigration! Nobody move!
这他妈是什么情况
What the hell is going on?
就是她她是团伙的头目
That's her. She's the leader.
绝对不行我不想再经历一遍了
Yeah, no. I'm never doing that again.
小凯和小维想出了唯一一个
合理的解决方式
早餐来了孩子们
Here's your breakfast, girls.
艾米你现在有了一项新工作
And Amy, you have a new job.
你要把你知道的知识全都教给杰玛
You are gonna teach Gemma everything you know.
是不是很兴奋就像玩游戏
Isn't that exciting? It's like a game.
你把杰玛变得和你一样聪明最后就能拿到大奖
You make Gemma as smart as you, you get a big prize at the end.
确保杰玛上完所有的网课
And make sure that Gemma doesn't leave Zoom until school is over.
好吗妈妈爸爸要去工作了
Okay? Mommy and Daddy are gonna go to work..
-你觉得这样能行吗 -她教
- You think it'll work? - Well, it's better
总比我们教要好
her teaching homeschool than us.
这实际上是我的错小维
It's actually my fault, V.
-什么 -杰玛
- What is? - Gemma.
我以前学习也很差杰玛从我这遗传的
I was a bad student, too. Gemma got it from me.
我把自己学习差的基因遗传给杰玛了
I passed on my bad student gene to Gemma.
我去希望我没把我的
Shit. I hope I don't pass on
乳腺癌基因也传给她
my breast cancer gene, too.
你上次乳♥房♥♥自检是什么时候
When's the last time you did a self-exam?
你说什么
A what?
你这里有个肿块
You have a lump.
你右胸有一个
There is a four-centimeter mass
四厘米大的肿块
in your right breast.
我们必须立刻为你做活组织检查
We need to do a biopsy immediately.
凯文想分享一下吗
Kevin, do you wanna share?
好
Uh, yeah.
你们好
Hello.
你好
Hello.
很高兴来这儿
Glad to be here.
明天我就要做手术了
Tomorrow, I get this guy cut into.
一些念头不停在我脑中盘旋
And I got all these thoughts swimming around my head,
比如... 手术会成功吗
like "Will I survive surgery?"
癌细胞有没有扩散
"Has the cancer spread?"
我还能亲眼看到我的孩子们长大成人吗
"Will I get to watch my kids grow up?"
我还有机会在健身房♥脱掉上衣
"Will I ever be able to take my shirt off again in the gym
或是让男人摸♥胸♥好多赚点小费吗
or let men feel me up for tips?"
如果我们拥抱你一下
Would you be comfortable
你会好过一点吗
if we gave you a group hug?
就是这样
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
万众一心并肩作战
Together we stand. Together we fight.
积蓄力量满怀信念
We do it with power. We do it with might.
癌症你个混♥蛋♥ 滚出我们的视线
Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight.
来吧许个愿
Go on, make a wish.
操
Shit.
怎么还在
It's still there.
小凯我们祈祷吧
Kev, let's pray.
上帝请保佑小凯
Mm. God, please protect Kev
手术顺利
during his surgery.
希望他不要带着癌症醒来上帝
Let him wake up cancer-free, God.
还有上帝我被麻醉后
And God, when I'm under,
千万不要让别人
please, please don't let anyone probe me
随便对我动手动脚
where they're not supposed to.
小凯...
Kev...
不是的我在癌症聊天室里了解到的
No, I read about it in my cancer chat rooms.
小维
V!
发生什么了我还活着吗
What happened? Am I alive?
宝贝发生什么了
Baby, what happened?
好了我去叫护士好吗
Okay, I'ma go get the nurse, okay?
我的奶♥子♥怎么样了
What happened with my titty?
他们是不是切了我的乳♥头♥
Did they take my nipple?
它们还在你们好
Oh, hey there, fella. How are you doing?
你感觉如何博尔先生
How do you feel, Mr. Ball?
他得癌症了吗
Does he have cancer?
我去叫医生
I'll get the doctor.
我不够资格回答你们的问题
I'm not qualified to discuss what needs to be discussed.
这他妈是什么意思
The fuck is that supposed to mean?
不知道听着不妙
I don't know. It sounded bad.
听起来是挺不妙的对吧
It did sound bad, didn't it?
宝贝...
Baby...
我要你为我在艾莱伯酒吧举办追悼会
I want you to set up a memorial for me at The Alibi.
每年大家都要在我的往生时分敬我一杯
Everyone drinks at the exact time I die every year.
我要你在追悼会上放"男孩男人"组合
And I want you to play Boyz II Men
那首《路的尽头》
"End of the Road"
放得大声点
really loud.
抱歉来迟了两位
Sorry for the delay, folks.
我对你的肿块进行了活检博尔先生
I biopsied your lump, Mr. Ball.
是良性的
It's benign.
苍天啊为什么
Why? Why?
怎么了
What?
是好是坏啊我记不清那词啥意思
What--is that good or bad? I can never remember.
是好的宝贝你没得癌症
Oh, it's good, baby. You don't have cancer.
我没得癌症
I don't have cancer?
-谢天谢地 -谢谢老天爷
- Oh, thank you, Lord! - Oh, thank God.
我脑子是不太灵光
Not the brightest bulb.
上帝不会让你十全十美的
Well, God doesn't give with both hands.
你有别的优点
You have other great qualities.
是啊我有对吧
Yeah, I do, don't I?
比如呢
Like what?
你是个好爸爸
You're a great dad.
穿黑白队服的
Now, the players in the black and white--
是白袜队我们的队
they're the White Sox. That's our team.
灰蓝队服的那帮娘们呢
And the pussies in the gray and blue--
是双城队
they're the Twins.
我们讨厌双城队[双胞胎]We hate the Twins.
不不不
No, no, no, no.
不是你们两个
Not the baby girl twins.
你们是世界上最棒的网球运动员
You're the best tennis players on the planet.
杰玛你的反手扣球世界一流
Gemma, you have the number one backhand smash in the world.
小凯...
Kev...
我觉得潜移默化这玩意儿好像真的管用
I'm thinking the subliminal message thing is really working.
没有杰玛
There is no Gemma.
杰玛不存在了
Gemma doesn't exist anymore.
只有艾米
Only Amy.
而且你们都是虔诚的天主教♥徒♥
And you're devout Catholics,
所以要多做十字架动作像这样
so cross yourselves a lot like this.
在我家要想更接近上帝
In my house, the way to get closer to God
星期六就要去玩
on Saturday is to play.