耻辱堂（2020）

Shameless Hall of Shame S01E02

Part 9 March 2, 2021, 10:06 a.m.

I can't tell if you're laughing or crying.
我来这帮你
I'll help you out in here.
你帮我解决下心中烦恼
You'll help me out in here.
成
You're on.
我带帮手来了
I brought help.
大家伙儿把所有碎瓷砖都铲出去
Everybody shovel all this broken tile out.
都铲出去
Get it the hell out of here.
滚开
Oh, fuck off!
今天早上洗澡的时候
Have you examined your breasts
你检查你的乳♥房♥♥了吗菲奥娜
in the shower this morning, Fiona?
不只是这里
It's not just here.
还有这里和手臂下面
It's here too, and under the arms here.
知道了吗
All right?
如果没有小凯和小维《无♥耻♥家庭》会怎么样
最后一杯
Last one.
要是这话你每说一次给我一角钱的话
If I had a dime for every time I heard you say that...
我现在就正好有一角钱了
I'd have exactly one dime.
温蒂
W-Wendy!
-把电♥话♥给我 -喂喂
- Give me the phone! - Hello? Hello?
-你不会扇我吧 -不会啊
You're not gonna slap me, are you? No.
通常维罗妮卡逼我说完实话后
Usually, after Veronica asks me to level with her,
都会扇我
she slaps me.
我丈夫为了怀孩子上我亲妈
My husband fucked my mother to get pregnant.
抱歉我们不能用正常方式怀孩子
Sorry we can't all have our baby the normal way!
如果等下你要坐我脸上的话
Just remember, if you're gonna sit on my face,
记得照顾下我的鼻窦炎
I have that sinus thing. Okay?
我以为你们女人就想要
I thought that's what you ladies wanted,
男人分担家务要收入平等
is shared housework, wage equality,
还有什么饥饿游戏
and all that Hunger Games
和嘎嘎小姐那些狗屁女权主义
Lady Gaga girl power shit.
别跟穿得这么强势的女人讨价还价
Don't haggle with a woman who looks this fly in a power suit.
我们赶快让那些贱♥人♥们开工吧
Let's get those bitches tugging.
敬老派的美国资本主义
Here's to good old-fashioned American capitalism.
尽管它给男人准备了种种艰难险阻
You can keep a man down,
但它永远无法阻止小兄弟要站起来的愿望
but you can never keep him from getting it up.
说得好
Yes, sir! Ow!
终于大便咯
Poop, there it is.
终于大便咯
Poop, there it is.
马桶马桶
Toilets? Toilets.
每时每刻都有孩子溺死在马桶里
Kids drown in toilets all the time.
盖上马桶盖
Close the lid.
你每时每刻都得盯着
You gotta be on it all the time.
什么样的人会不担心这些事
I mean, what kind of person doesn't worry about this shit?
好吧我这就回家上我老公
Fine. I will go home and fuck my husband.
你就不能表现得更积极点么
Maybe with a little more enthusiasm?
说是卖♥♥大♥麻♥的难民比较贴切
I'm more like a refugee who sells weed.
贫民窟的噪音多得是
Lots of noises in the ghetto.
机关枪声人们的求饶声
Automatic gunfire, people begging for their lives...
我换过你的尿布我知道你的小鸡鸡
I changed your diaper, so I know your little pudding pop
可不是黑色的
ain't never been chocolate.
400年的压♥迫♥才能让你知道什么是黑人
Four hundred years of oppression makes you Black,
如果你再搞这种假扮黑人的鬼玩意
and if you keep up with this wigger bullshit,
我就逆转乔治·齐默尔曼案一枪崩了你
I'm gonna reverse George Zimmerman your ass.
昨天买♥♥的没有发霉
They're a day old, but no mold.
我检查过了赞美主
I checked. Praise Jesus.
我整天都在对付小屁孩
I've been dealing with toddlers all day,
咿咿呀呀的
talking ABCs,
告诉他们牛是怎么叫的
telling them what sounds a cow makes.
是哞妈的是哞
It's moo, motherfucker. It's moo.
那真是她姑姑吗
Is this really her aunt,
也许我们一周后就会发现
or are we gonna find her fucking her in our bed
她们俩在一起滚床单
a week from now?
我刚跟小凯在一起时我跟他说
When I started dating Kev, I was like,
"你是我男人我是你女人
"You're my man, I'm your girl,
你要是不满意
and if you're not happy with that,
小心我半夜杀了你"
I'll kill you in your sleep."
是真的
It's true.
太累了都不愿意跟我跳舞了
Too tired to jump up and down with me?
是但别往心里去这就是我开心的样子
Yeah, but if it helps, this is my happy face now.
你跟黄蜂掉进可乐罐里似的
You're madder than a hornet in a Coke can.
"打我屁♥股♥ 叫我萨利"
"Well, slap my ass and call me Sally."
"坐我脸上叫我伯纳德"
"Well, sit on my face and call me Bernard."
瞧瞧你们两个
Look at you two.
就跟那部老剧里的好闺蜜一样...
You're like two friends from that old show...
《老友记》
Friends.
乳环虽小情义深
Nipple piercing. It's small but meaningful.
如果我在外面看见你
I would legit not say hello to you
我连招呼都不会跟你打
if I saw you in public.
小维
V!
小维
V!
我♥操♥
Holy shit.
你也跟她搞了
You had sex with her, too.
小维那真是...
V, that-that is...
性感到爆♥炸♥
really hot.
我丈夫太风流
My husband's a slut.
小维这么说有点伤人
V, that's a little harsh.
小凯你在扯些什么鬼
Kev, what the hell are you talking about?
该死的小维
God damn it, V.
爱你小凯
Love you, Kev.
婚姻是神圣的
Marriage is a sacred institution.
-她给你舔了吗 -舔了
- Did she go down on you? - Yes!
-她用舌头玩花活了吗 -玩了
- Did she do that thing with her tongue? - Yes!
那你出了很多水吗
Did you come a lot?
-小凯 -好吧
-Kev... - Right.
你俩就趁我不在
You two just...
整天像只猫似的在对方身上舔来舔去
lick each other like cats all day while I'm gone.
那男的要给我四千块买♥♥你一个小时
The guy offered me $4,000 for an hour with you.
他认为我是妓♥女♥
He thinks I'm a whore?
-当然 -不
- Of course. - No.
只是误解而已小维
It's just a misunderstanding, V.
没什么
That's all.
小凯能上来一下吗
Kev, can you come up for a sec?
小维你瞧我有多硬
V, look how hard I am for you.
距离上一次聊到强♥奸♥话题
过了43小时
你是凯文·博尔吗
You Kevin Ball?
你是卫生督察员吗
You a health inspector?
不是
Uh, no.
耶♥和♥华♥见证人
Jehovah's Witness?
-不是 -国税局
- No. - IRS?
不是
No.
是的我是凯文·博尔
Then yes, I'm Kevin Ball.
小凯
Kev.
干嘛
Uh, what?
小维小维
V? V!
小维你妈来了
V, your mom's here.
小维别哪壶不开提哪壶啊
V, don't start that shit.
-凯文 -小维
- Kevin... - V!
-凯文·博尔 -小维
- Kevin Ball. - V!
我受够了再也不喂母乳了
No, I'm done. No more breastfeeding.
小凯快醒醒
Kev, wake up.
小维我们做到了宝贝
V, we're doing it, baby.
小维我们得谈谈
V, we gotta talk.
凯文凯文
Kevin? Kevin?
凯文凯文
Kevin? Kevin!
凯文·博尔给我滚下来
Kevin Ball, get your ass down here.
搞什么鬼小维
What the fuck, V?
小凯别说了
Kev, please stop talking.
宝贝蛋们...
Snookums...
小凯快点我们要迟到了
Kev, come on. We're gonna be late.
凯文·博尔
Kevin Ball,
赶快给我滚出来
get your ass out here right now