耻辱堂（2020）

Shameless Hall of Shame S01E02

Part 3 March 2, 2021, 10:06 a.m.

- V? - Making a video for one of those
拍个小短片呢
do-it-yourself websites online.
人家肯给150块呢这周是灌肠
Pays 150 bucks. This one's on a high colonic.
下周是把菊花漂白
Next week, I bleach my exit ramp.
你想要什么维柯丁吗♥啡♥还是皮约特
What do you want? Vicodin, morphine, peyote?
-我要河豚毒素 -红色的这些
- Tetrodotoxin. - These red ones.
给我足够弄晕一匹健壮驮马的
Give me, uh, the horse tranquilizer,
马镇静剂就行了
enough to knock out a Clydesdale.
宝宝快出来了
This baby is coming.
-现在 -头已经露出来了
- Now? - She's crowning.
好的救护车马上就到
All right, ambulance is on its way.
我生孩子的时候
When I was having my girls,
医生跟我说短促呼吸3次
the doc told me to do three quick pants
加深呼吸1次好吗
and then one long blow. Okay?
-我陪你一起做 -开始用力推好吗
- I'm gonna do it with you. - Start pushing now, okay?
用力宝贝用力
Push, push. Push, baby.
用力用力
Push, push, push.
孩子没事吧
Is the baby okay?
没事她很好
She's great.
是个女儿吗
She?
弗雷德里克·道格拉斯
Frederick Douglass.
-谁 -作家演说家
- Who? - Author, orator,
挣脱枷锁的奴隶
escaped slave.
普通白人男性的
The life expectancy
预期寿命是76岁
for an average white man is 76.
没错
Exactly.
南区穷光蛋白人男性的预期寿命
For a poor white man from the South Side,
则是70岁前提还是你命好
it's 70 if you're lucky.
耶稣是金发的吗
Jesus was a blond?
不耶稣是个爆♥炸♥头黑人
No, Jesus was Black and had nappy hair,
只是没人愿意承认
but no one ever wants to talk about that.
这跟腌黄瓜有什么关系
What does this have to do with pickles?
腌黄瓜能提供人体所需维他命
Pickles provide essential vitamins,
矿物质和抗氧化物
minerals, and antioxidants,
促进消化并保护肝脏
improve digestion and liver protection.
你的药就像一罐腌黄瓜但效果更佳
Your drug is like a jar of pickles, but better.
你怎么这么了解腌黄瓜
How do you know so much about pickles?
-怎么样了 -你真是天才
- How'd it go? - You are a genius.
如果这种二合一的药
If this one pill had been around
能在我爸爸要吃两种药和打三份工时出现
when my daddy was juggling two pills and three jobs,
他现在就会还活着
he would still be here...
享受天伦之乐
to be a grandfather.
别哭请不要哭
Don't cry. Please don't cry.
对不起
I'm-I'm sorry.
所以一片药集♥合♥了两种功效对吗
So it's one pill instead of two, huh?
我们假设
What if you were to, say,
你把处方簿放错地方了
misplace your scrip pad?
好了女士们做好准备
All right, ladies. Saddle up.
我们要去实地考察了
We're going on a field trip.
米非司酮你要堕胎吗
Mifepristone. You need an abortion.
这是挂号♥费
Here's my copay.
恐怕您得付全额药费
I'm afraid you're gonna have to pay full price.
医保只承担强♥奸♥ 乱♥伦♥怀孕
Medicare only covers abortion in cases of rape, incest,
和母亲有生命危险情况下的堕胎费用
or when the mother's life is in danger.
我都80岁了
I'm 80 years old.
生孩子八成会要了我的命
Having a baby'll probably kill me.
我是强♥奸♥怀孕
I was raped.
-我是乱♥伦♥ -我也是
- Incest for me. - Me too!
我也是被强♥奸♥
Rape again.
-我也是 -我是乱♥伦♥
- I was raped too. - Incest too.
说什么呢我才不要在家教她
Bullshit. I'm not homeschooling her.
-你在家教她 -才不要
- You homeschool her. - Fuck that.
我得管理酒吧
I got a bar to run.
什么你管理酒吧明明是我
You run the bar? I run the bar.
艾莱柏艾莱柏
Alibi. Alibi.
艾莱柏
Alibi.
我得去艾莱柏酒吧
I gotta go to The Alibi.
赶紧走我得去艾莱柏酒吧
Vamoose. I gotta go to the bar.
谁想喝一杯
Who wants a drink?
小维多倒些像小凯那样大方点
Come on, V. Free pour it like Kev does.
所以酒吧才会亏本
That's why the bar's losing money.
要货真价实的钱才行弗兰克
Gonna take real money, Frank.
小凯不在这儿被你耍了
Kev's not here for you to confuse.
扶他坐椅子上清醒一下
Drag him to the sober chair.
大家都去哪儿了
Where is everybody?
现在是早上十点
It's 10 A.M.
别掺和比利没人问你
Shut up, Billy. Nobody asked you.
好吧不跟你争了
All right, you know what? Fuck it.
我会待在家教杰玛
I'll homeschool Gemma.
能有多难
How hard can it be?
"学习就是懂得几招小把戏
"Learning is knowing a few tricks."
比如
"For example,
学习色谱
to learn the color spectrum,
只需要记住ROY G. BIV
just remember ROY G. BIV."
代表的是红橙黄绿
"Which stands for red, orange, yellow, green,
蓝靛紫罗兰色
blue, indigo, violet."
靛是什么鬼
What the hell is indigo?
是紫色
Purple.
紫罗兰色不就是紫色吗
I thought violet was purple.
我不知道
I-I don't know.
括指乘除加减
Pemdas,
就是"括号♥
which stands for "parentheses,
指数乘法除法
exponents, multiplication, division,
加法减法"的缩写
addition, subtraction."
这也太难了
Yeah, this is way too hard.
笨学生凯文
我会听话
你是说我笨吗
Are you calling me dumb?
不
No.
听起来像是
Well, it sounds like you are.
也许我太蠢了听不出来
Maybe I'm just too dumb to understand.
我没说你蠢
I'm not calling you dumb.
你"应示"了
You applied it.
是暗示
"Implied."
我知道
I know.
但我绝对不是个文盲
It's not like I'm "unliterate."
你说啥[西班牙语]Como se huh?
我要买♥♥下艾莱柏酒吧
The Alibi Room. I'm gonna buy it.
拿什么买♥♥ 你的银项链吗
With what, your silver chains?
我等下去贷款的地方
No, I'm gonna go to the loan store today
拿些表格回来
and pick up some forms.
你是指银行吗
You mean the bank?
是啊
Yeah.
不是S开头吗
Well, does it start with an S?
搞毛
What the fuck?
"猫" 我知道这个狗屁单词混♥蛋♥
Cat. I know that shit, bitch.
是"猫"
That's a cat!
你又从电视上学垃圾了
You learning shit off the TV again?
就差一点知识亲爱的
Just a little bit of this, honey.
就差一点
Just a little bit of this.
他妈的烫死了
Son of a bitch, that's hot.
我的超级"颈子" 她承受不了吗
My super "spermazoa" too much for her?
是精♥子♥
Spermatozoa.
怎么你还能裁定
And what, now you're-you're the arbiter
谁属于哪里了
on where everybody's supposed to be?
可能吧
Yeah, maybe,
如果我知道"裁定"意思的话
if I knew what "Arbiter" meant.
操你自己
Gfy.
谢天谢地今天是周五了
Yeah, TGIF.
"这边射"
"进"这个字可不是这么拼你知道吧
You realize that's not how you spell "Come," Right?
文凭有什么用
Diplomas are overrated.
我就没有文凭看看我