耻辱堂（2020）

Shameless Hall of Shame S01E05

Part 7 March 2, 2021, 10:07 a.m.

不管你真正的名字是什么
whatever the hell your real name is.
拿开眼罩吧
Open up.
我♥操♥ 那是福特吗
Holy fuck. Is that Ford?
-对 -帮帮忙
- Yeah. - Someone help, please!
这男人是个混♥蛋♥[屁♥眼♥] 快看
彩弹枪疼吗
Does a paintball gun hurt?
-绝对疼 -活该就不疼
- Oh, fuck, yeah. - Not if you deserve it.
这是我的结婚大喜之日求你别捣乱
This is my wedding day. Please don't fuck it up.
没错我了解你小肖恩
Oh, yeah, I know you, Seanie boy.
瘾君子才能惺惺相惜
Takes a dope fiend to know a dope fiend,
而你绝对是世界一流
and you are world class.
是真的吗
Is that true?
他就是个彻头彻尾的瘾君子
Oh, he's a junkie, through and through,
你的准新郎
your husband-to-be.
你好菲奥娜
Hi, Fiona!
她听不见你说话小维
She can't hear you, V.
-我知道凯文 -她住在佛罗里达
- I know, Kevin. - She lives in Florida.
虽然你声音很大了但还是传不了那么远
I mean, your voice is loud, but not that loud.
好随便吧
Okay, whatever.
菲奥娜
Fiona.
我该怎么形容我的宝贝姑娘呢
What can I say about my girl?
她是我的闺蜜
She is my bestie.
她还在这儿的时候我们形影不离
When she was here, we did everything together,
闺蜜会一起做的事我们全都做过
any of your typical gal-pal stuff, we did it.
说说我的单身派对吧
Let's talk bachelorette party.
别担心包在我身上
Oh, I got that covered. Don't worry.
因为我们要嗨起来
'Cause we gon' be doin' it
来吧来吧
Let's go. Let's go.
你们两个婊♥子♥竟然骗我
You bitches lied to me!
瞧吧姐♥妹♥们♥
Voilà, ladies!
你俩玩车震啊
You did it in a car?
真浪漫呀
How romantic.
梅格说得对
Meg's right.
我失败得很
I am a loser.
你是菲奥娜·加拉格
You're Fiona Gallagher.
只有你不想做没有你做不到的
You can do anything you set your mind to.
我需要一具尸体
I need a body.
要活的
A real, live body?
要死的谢了
Not live. Thanks.
就知道我可以指望你
Knew I could count on you.
我靠
Holy shit!
预批准了高达
Pre-certified for a mortgage loan
10万美元的贷款
of up to $100,000.
无意冒犯但居然把那么多钱贷给你
I mean, no offense, but giving that kind of money to you?
就是
Totally.
凯文今天不让我吹♥箫♥
Kevin turned down a blow job today.
他现在只想插♥我♥
He only wants to get off inside me now.
全身心投入到造人事业里
Obsessed with saving his spunk for having a baby.
你俩可真浪漫
Look at you, the romantic.
你是为了我们两个喝的
You drinking for the both of us.
只要这些小崽子们一钻出来
Once these little girls pop out,
等不到医生把她胳膊从我那啥里拽出来
I'm gonna be downing my first vodka
我就要喝我的第一杯伏特加
before the doctor even pulls her hand out of my hoo-ha.
我想念从前的身材
I want my boobs back.
想念从前的生活
I want my life back.
想念我从前的老公
I want my husband back.
你俩最近房♥事不太和谐吧
You haven't gotten laid lately, have you?
我要打扮成一个性感女郎
I need to get dressed up like a sex object
被人注视
and be objectified.
喝酒跳舞男人看我的屁♥股♥
Drinking, dancing, guys looking at my ass.
怎么了
What happened?
-我高♥潮♥了 -你...
- I had an orgasm. - You had an--
我现在就是这么饥渴这么寂寞
That's how horny and lonely I've been these days.
我刚才算是出轨了吗
Did I just cheat on Kev?
你跟我说说菲奥娜
Tell me, Fiona.
你对熟食有什么看法
How do you feel about deli meats?
小维你那个
Hey, V, do you still have
在线裸聊用的摄像头还在吗
that mini camera you use for titty shots?
他在里面你知道该怎么做吧
He's right in there. You know what you're doing?
勾引男人这种事我能不会吗
Do I know how to make a man ask me for a hummer?
在这等着
Wait here.
我全录下来了
I got it all on tape.
他太恶心了对吧
He's nasty. Right?
得有点创业精神对吧
Gotta be entrepreneurial, right?
看来你俩还算亲近啊
Yeah, I guess you two were pretty close.
还算亲近
"Pretty close"?
但我和菲奥娜可是亲密无间
But Fiona and I were thick as thieves.
什么亲密无间扯蛋
What? "Thick as thieves"? Bullshit.
没有我认真的
No, I'm serious.
那也没有我和她亲密
Not as thick as me and her.
要更亲一些
Thicker.
你疯啦
Are you out of your mind?
有吗
Am I?
小凯男人有大姨夫吗
Kev, do guys get PMS?
你是问
You asking me
我的蛋蛋会不会每个月流血吗
if I bleed from my nuts once a month?
你跟托尼搞上了
You hooked up with Tony?
托尼人很好
Tony's sweet.
真会可怜他献爱心啊
How charitable of you.
服务人♥民♥ 保护人♥民♥
Serve and protect, huh?
"服务"真到位啊
Serve and protect.
整个夏天你都跟男人一样到处勾搭
You've been acting like a dude all summer.
就兴男人玩女人我就不能玩玩男人吗
Oh, it's okay for guys to play the field, but not me?
如果你想让男人在上过你之后
It's okay if you want guys to start running their dicks
都用洗碗机洗屌♥ 那倒是无所谓
through the dishwasher after they bone you.
闭嘴
Shut up.
这么说我的小凯文你是不会上的喽
So you won't be getting up on my Kevin anytime soon?
你恶心人不他就像是我哥
Ew. He's like my brother.
跟他做就好像在跟你做一样
It'd be like making out with you.
美女蜜吻让哥看得欲♥火♥焚身啊
You just made my boy parts get bigger.
滚开
Fuck off.
自我检查可不是开玩笑
Self-exam is no laughing matter.
你是来真的吗
Are you serious?
这跟性无关
It's not a sex thing.
跟"救你的命"有关
It's a "Save your life" thing.
该死那个词是什么来着
Shit. What is the word again?
-恶性的 -恶性的
- Malignant. - Malignant.
抬起你的手臂菲奥娜
Raise your arms, Fiona,
因为"恶性"这个词
because "Malignant" is not a word
是你永远都不想记住的
you ever want to have to remember.
谢谢
Thank you.
好了你很健康
All right, you're good.
你什么时候开始在洗衣店工作了
Since when do you work at the Laundromat?
我是这的老板
I own the place.
我以为很容易呢
It seemed like it would be easy.
几台洗衣机
You know, a half a dozen washing machines,
就坐等收钱了
nice cash flow.
我以为我抓住了机会
I-I thought that I was seizing an opportunity,
现在我觉得自己像个白♥痴♥
and now I feel like a fuckin' idiot.
我都不知道咱们在笑什么
I don't know what we're laughing about.
听好了大伙们
Hey, listen up, everyone.
如果你们来帮我♥干♥几个小时的活
I'm offering free drinks
就可以在这免费畅饮
if you come help me out right now for a few hours.
我带帮手来了
I brought help.
我的妈乱成一锅粥了
Christ. What a shit show.
我车上有工具我去拿
I got tools in my truck. I'll go grab 'em.
大家伙儿把所有碎瓷砖都铲出去
Everybody, shovel all this broken tile out.
都铲出去
Get it the hell out of here.
我不知道没有你们我该怎么办
I don't know how I'd do it without you guys.
我看你喝了野格酒后真是废话连篇啊
You know that Jagermeister really makes you chatty.
是吧