耻辱堂（2020）

Shameless Hall of Shame S01E05

Part 5 March 2, 2021, 10:07 a.m.

老天第一个
Oh, God, one!
-娘的坎迪丝是谁 -谁
- Who the fuck is Candice? - Who?
-早上好 -这是古斯
- Uh, morning. - This is Gus.
男朋友还是炮♥友♥
Boyfriend and girlfriend or just fuck buddies?
欢迎来我家
Welcome to my family.
昨天晚上是我第一次
Last night was my first time. Ever.
托尼你是说你本来还是个
Tony, are you saying you were a...
处♥男♥
Virgin?
我靠你夺走了他的童贞
Holy shit. You popped his cherry?
那可是件大事
It's a big thing.
我破处的年龄大于平均水平
It's above average.
好极了
Yes.
你和麦克是来真的吗
You and Mike getting serious?
-我挺喜欢他 -床技如何
- I like him. - Sex good?
我还不知道
I don't know yet.
见面上♥床♥的菲奥娜
First date Fiona?
在温迪餐厅外卖♥♥窗口
The girl who puts out
占道开战的菲奥娜
waiting in line at the Wendy's drive-thru?
谁跟你说的卢尼·芬尼根
Who told you that? Ronnie Finnegan?
本·托特曼天啊
Ben Troutman. Jesus Christ.
你还干过不止一次
You've done that more than once?
我们这算是约会吗
Is this a date?
怎么你希望这是个约会吗
Why? Are you hoping it is a date?
还是你害怕我们误解了对方的意思
Or you're afraid we got mixed signals?
我喜欢你流露出的意思
I like the signals.
操
Oh, fuck!
很高兴认识你
Nice to meet you.
你确实很吸引人
You're pretty damn intriguing.
怎么个吸引法
How intriguing?
他是你男朋友的哥哥
He's your boyfriend's brother!
你来这干什么
What are you doing here?
告诉你这个死脑筋我们已经结束了
Trying to get it through your thick skull that this is over.
你可以打电♥话♥
Could've called.
或者用脸书
Or used Facebook.
我不玩脸书
I'm not on Facebook.
你想让我说什么
What do you want me to say?
说我有自毁倾向吗
That--that I'm self-destructive?
说我看到骗子小偷和瘾君子就把持不住吗
That liars and thieves and addicts turn me on?
还是说我不知道如何正常恋爱
That I don't know how to do a normal relationship?
那很难吗
Was that so hard?
怎么了
What?
卧♥槽♥ 是不是有虱子
Oh, fuck. Is it lice?
这种前戏对我来说可真新鲜
This is a completely new brand of foreplay for me.
你真是花样多多加拉格小姐
You really know how to keep it interesting, Gallagher.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
把我的衣服烧了
Ah, just burning my clothes.
为什么
Why?
你不用知道
Ah, you don't need to know.
我要带你去那里
I'm bringing you there.
你是说汽车旅馆真有你的
Oh, this motel? It's classy.
钟点房♥
Rooms by the hour.
够刺♥激♥
That's why it's fun.
通常一段恋情到这个阶段
Usually, by this time in a relationship,
男生会开始只在深夜过来干一炮
the guy starts just showing up for late-night booty calls
或是想让我见他母亲
or wants me to meet his mother.
你的女伴很懂怎么弄"黄瓜"啊
Your lady sure knows her way around a cucumber.
任何一种情况发生我都会找理由开溜
Either way, I start looking for reasons to walk.
所以你才需要陌陌
This is why you need Tinder.
把手♥机♥给我
Give me your phone.
干一炮然后走人
Just swipe, fuck, leave.
小维你在哪
V, where are you?
你喝醉了
You're drunk.
我刚用陌陌打炮了
I just Tinder fucked.
六块腹肌只在这里待一周
Six pack, only in town for a week.
这个纹身是什么
What's the tattoo?
打完炮就继续赚钱
Sex and back to thinking money.
你以为你是谁我的金融顾问吗
What are you? My financial consultant?
你真的是金融顾问吗
You mean you're actually a financial consultant?
你的脖子怎么了
What's wrong with your neck?
疹子
Weird rash.
是嘴巴形状的
Hmm. It's mouth-shaped.
-荡♥妇♥ -你才是荡♥妇♥ 老娘不是
- Slut. - I know you are, but what am I?
我回头打她屁♥股♥
Oh, I'll spank her later.
她吗那我呢
Her? What about me?
有件奇怪的事
Know what's weird?
我居然在家庭餐馆里硬了
Sitting at a family diner with an erection.
我在洗盛炒蛋的盘子时
I'll keep that image in mind
会想着这幅画面的
while I'm clearing plates of fried eggs.
我爱你
I love you.
我有没有说过我爱上你了
Did I mention that I'm falling in love with you?
我太他妈的爱你了知道吗
I fucking love you, okay?
我只想和菲奥娜在一起
What I want is Fiona.
我爱她
I love her.
爱稍纵即逝吉米
Love is fleeting, Jimmy.
你知道他刚才跟我说了什么吗
Do you know what he just told me?
他爱上我了
That he's fallin' in love with me.
你没说你也爱他吧
You didn't say it back, did you?
我也爱上你了
I'm falling in love with you, too.
-没 -好姑娘
- No. - Good girl.
但我有点吓到了
But I'm, like, freakin' out.
浑身酥麻
I'm, like, tingling.
喂
Hello?
跟我走吧
Come with me.
哥斯达黎加
Costa Rica.
我连护照都没有
Well, I don't have a passport.
我们到迈阿密再办一个
We'll get one in Miami.
-想跟我结婚吗 -你若真娶我就会嫁
- Wanna get married? - I'd marry you.
这事要我说的算今天就登记
Well, if it were up to me, I'd do it today.
现在就结吧
Do it right now.
这真是太蠢了对吗
This is stupid, right?
-是啊 -我们还是直接撤了吧
- Right. - Should we just go?
古斯·芬德和菲奥娜·加拉格
Gus Pfender and Fiona Gallagher.
今天过得好吗屁芬德太太
How are you today, Mrs. Pfender?
跟已婚妇女鬼混的家伙可是你
You're the one sleepin' with a married woman.
你这算什么
What's that make you?
鸿运高照
Lucky.
如果我用这枚巨大的戒指跟你求婚
If I proposed to you with this big-ass ring,
你会很感动的
you'd be so impressed.
但时机有点不对劲
Oh, the timing's a little weird.
你离婚协议上的墨都还没干
The ink's barely dry on your divorce.
我都没想过你的婚礼
I didn't think your wedding
会变得像一年一度的感恩节
was gonna become an annual tradition like Thanksgiving.
我们俩挺配的
We're good for each other.
你会后悔的
Oh, you should not have done that.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
你是从哪里了解音乐的你是火星人吗
Where'd you learn about music? You living on Mars?
-从你妈那里 -是吗
- Your mom. - Oh, yeah?
-上次我跟她干了一炮 -是吗
- Last time I banged her. - Oh, yeah.
这就难怪了她的品味很糟糕
That makes a lot more sense. She has awful taste.
*告诉我你想去何方*
* Tell me everywhere you want to go *
*你找不到魔法*
* When you can't find the magic *
你糟透了
You are awful.
我爱你
I love you.
去你♥妈♥的♥
Oh, fuck you.
你还爱我吗
Do you still love me?
-别做傻事 -不
- Don't do it. - No.
菲奥娜
Oh, Fiona.
我理解错了是吗
I misread that, didn't I?
帮我搓背
Scrub my back?
你想让我帮你搓背
You want me to scrub your back?