夜间法庭（2023）

Night Court S01E02

Part 4 April 28, 2023, 11:20 a.m.

嗯那是因为你脑袋
-Well, that's your fault for having a head
看起来像个鸟窝的错
that looks like a birdhouse.
从头到尾它就长在那
Beak to butt, that thing was in there.
你们要知道即使是有争论
-You know, even though there's an argument to be made
但这全是她的错
that this is all her fault,
我都忍♥不住为艾比感到难过
I can't help but feeling a little bad for Abby.
但这是她必须明白的只要她还在这
But she's got to learn, as long as she's here,
那她的未来就会越来越黯淡
there are gonna be a lot of disappointments in her future.
你知道吗？
You know what?
至少我让她首先意识到这点
At least I'm helping her realize that by being her first,
因为无论她觉得看到了我有什么特质
because whatever it is she thinks she sees in me,
那都是幻觉
[laughs] not there.
我听到你说的了伙计
-I hear you, man.
我对怎么看到不存在的东西略知一二
And I know a thing or two about seeing things that aren't there.
有时候我觉得也许我的继父是对的
There are days I feel like maybe my stepdad is right
我应该收起我的蜥蜴网
and I should just hang up my lizard nets
然后去找个辣妹做♥爱♥做的事
and do sex stuff with hotties.
但我又想我能让我那些性感的子孙们
But then I think, do I want my smoking-hot grandkids
生活在一个满是蜥蜴的世界上吗？
living in a world that's riddled with lizards?
等等
-Wait.
这是如我想的那事吗？
Was that what I thought it was?
没错一个委托人正在向你倾诉
-Yeah. A client just opened up to you.
你们建立的真正的链接
Y'all made a real connection!
就像尼尔和鸟那样
Like Neil and that bird.
如果那是你的辞职信你可以直接把它放在那
-If that's your resignation, you could just leave it right there.
这没什么可尴尬的
This doesn't have to be awkward.
也许有点我也不知道
Or maybe it does. I don't know.
我从来没有在一屋子人面前
I've never gotten into a fight with an old friend
和一个我父亲的老朋友
of my father's in front of a room
在鸽子风暴里争吵
full of people during a pigeon storm.
这是菲尔.克莱门斯
-This is Phil Clemens.
他因未经人同意的情况下剃发而被捕
He was arrested for performing non-consensual haircuts.
但那仅仅是因为他的侄女患有脱发
But that was only because his niece has alopecia
而他想为她做一顶假发
and he wanted to create a wig for her.
顺便说下他很欣赏你的头发
He complimented your hair, by the way,
所以如果他在附近转悠你最好能靠着墙
so I'd keep my back to the wall if he's around.
这个是罗莎.罗森博格
This is Rosa Rosenberg.
她因私自携带武器而被捕
She was arrested for carrying a concealed weapon,
但那只是一把作为感情寄托
but it is a completely non-functional
已经失去功能的枪♥支♥
emotional-support gun.
那是为了纪念她的父亲
Reminds her of her father.
他叫做柯尔特
His name was Colt.
他45岁去世的
He died at 45.
所以你和你的委托人进行了交流？
-So you connected with your clients?
还有一个
-There's one more.
这是丹.菲尔丁
This is Dan Fielding.
他可能有点混♥蛋♥
He can be a bit of a prick,
但他足够聪明能意识到身边有个
but he's smart enough to realize that having someone around
能看到人身上光明一面的人也许是好事
who can see the best in people is probably a good thing.
我们之前都见过这种类型的人
We had that type here once before.
在他看来
And it seems, to him,
试着去帮助他人是件好事
that it's a good thing to try and help that person.
这绝对不是他最最糟糕的打发时间的方式
It couldn't be the very, very worst way to spend his time.
♪丹你会成为个优秀的公设辩护人♪
-♪ Dan, you'll be a great public defender ♪
♪你会永远在这里♪
♪ You're gonna be here forever ♪
别把判决唱出来
-Don't sing sentences.
我只是临时来帮忙的
And I'm still just here temporarily.
但现在我搞明白怎么做了
But now that I am the whole package,
纽约得做好准备了
New York is gonna have to brace itself
因为我要把一大堆罪犯给放出去
for the number of criminals I am gonna set free.
过程和我想的不太一样不过足以我把“搞定丹”从计划上划掉了
-Not exactly what I had in mind but enough to cross "Fix Dan" off my list.
我就知道我在上边！
-I knew I was on there!
你已经上榜四次了
-You're on there like four more times.
所以那个差点把尼古拉的作品收录进去的不是指
So, the Getty Museum Nikolai almost had his painting in
洛杉矶那个著名的盖蒂博物馆而是...
wasn't the famous one in L.A., it was --
是佛罗里达迈阿密的埃斯特尔盖蒂博物馆
-It was The Estelle Getty Museum in Miami, Florida.
很显然尼古拉是从看”黄金女郎“的重播
Apparently, Nikolai learned American painting
来学习的美国绘画
from watching "Golden Girls" reruns,
所以他只会画这些
and that's all he can paint.
我可能不是那种做大事的人
I might not be a big-swing guy.
我很欣赏你的尝试
-I appreciate you trying.
我知道从目前来看这些可能并不那么美好
I know it probably doesn't feel like it right at this moment,
但我相信我们已经走在了正确的道路上
but I really believe we're on the right track.
人们会慢慢开始接受的
People are starting to buy in.
至少你做到了一次大改善
And at least you made one big improvement --
你把那些鸟赶出了屋顶
you got the birds out of the ceiling.
它们终于离开了
They're finally gone.
它们没离开
-They're not gone.
它们只是在等待
They're just waiting.
但下次我会做好准备的
But next time, I will be ready.
嘿不是应该他来打扫这里的吗？
-Hey, shouldn't he be cleaning this up?
那你去和他说呀？
-Are you gonna tell him?
-不要 -这不就得了
-Nope. -Yeah.