夜间法庭（2023）

Night Court S01E02

Part 2 April 28, 2023, 11:20 a.m.

我们也许就有机会真正的扭转他们的人生
we have the opportunity to really turn their lives around.
谁知道呢？也许你的某个委托人
Who knows? One of your clients could be
就会是下一个比尔.盖茨或者玛雅.安吉罗
the next Bill Gates or Maya Angelou.
所以那个因为偷薄荷烟
-So, the guy busted for stealing menthol cigarettes
和牛肉干的家伙能成为下一个玛雅.安吉罗？
and beef jerky could be the next Maya Angelou?
你也不知道玛雅干过什么
-You don't know what Maya got up to.
好吧你看啊
-Okay, just look.
我来这可不是为成为某人课题的一部分的
I am not here to be part of anybody's project.
等等！等等！你不是在什么课题里
-Hold on! Hold on! You're not a project.
我知道你来这是为了帮我忙但是...
I realize that you're doing me a favor, but...
你就不能换种思路来帮我吗？
is there any way you could do that favor slightly differently-ish?
所以你是想让我表现的更像个公设辩护人
-So you want me to act more like a public defender.
-没错
-Yes.
一个可怜的爱喝汤住在郊区的公设辩护人
-A sad, soup-eating, outer-borough-living public defender.
如果这真是你想要的我可以做得到
If that's what you really want, I can do that.
所以你准备好看到更多的抗辩...
So you just get ready for more public defending than --
说正题！
-Faster!
你说的时候听上去更好
Sounds better when you say it.
我就是在等你意识到这点
-I was just waiting for you to realize that.
这是骨白色这是幽灵白
-This is bone white, and this is ghost white.
我家附近的鬼看上去可不是这样的
-That's not what ghosts look like in my neighborhood.
所以这就是你的大改进？
-So, this is your big change?
老板给了你想要的所有权限
The boss gave you carte blanche to do anything you wanted,
结果就这？
and that's what you did?
看看你知道什么
-Shows how much you know.
这就是全权委托
This is carte blanche.
这机会给你完全就是浪费
-This opportunity is wasted on you.
这不是什么机会奥利维亚这是个诅咒
-It's not an opportunity, Olivia, it's a curse.
因为在这里所以我能无所事事
I come here so I can do nothing.
而我不想赢就不会输
And if you do nothing, you can't fail.
这里有无数事等着你去改善
-There are a million things you can change around here.
就从速记员开始
Start with the stenographer.
我以为你们是朋友
-I thought y'all were friends.
她告诉所有人你是她的紧急联络人
She's telling everyone you're her emergency contact.
哦不是的那只是因为她的前三个
-Oh, yeah, no, that's only 'cause her last
紧急联络人都神秘失踪了
three emergency contacts mysteriously disappeared.
等等
Wait.
我是不是也该担心下？
Should I be worried about that?
是我的话就会
-I would be.
你得保证速记员站在你这边
-You gotta keep a stenographer on your good side.
否则他们就会漫不经心的复述证词
Otherwise, they'll read back testimony with just a tinge of disdain.
这可能会让你输掉官司
It could cost you a case.
但我觉得...快受不了这样的逢场作戏了
But I'm just -- I'm so tired of keeping up this relentless --
哦嗨玛吉！
Oh, hey, Maggie!
姑娘这裤子很适合你
Those pants are on you, girl.
你觉得朋友就是这样子的？
-Is that what you think a friend sounds like?
尼尔我注意到了纸的事我很中意
-Neil, I noticed the paper, and I love it.
想看看我用它打印的第一个东西是什么吗？
Want to see the first thing I printed?
这都是纸的作用？
-Is that paper serious?
这纸简直绝了而你知道吗？
-The paper was a home run. And you know what?
要放轻松下次你要搞个大动作
Feel free, next time, take an even bigger swing.
大动作尼尔
-Big Swing Neil.
也许该在我们处理了庭审之后
-Probably after we do the court stuff.
是啊没错先做好庭审
-Yeah, right, the court stuff.
额好的
Uh, okay.
额下一个案件是...
Uh, next up, we have...
额对那个伙计...
uh, the People vs.,
额的公诉
uh, that guy.
布赫瓦尔德先生因对着星巴克撒尿
-Mr. Buchwald is charged with indecent exposure
而被控犯有猥亵暴露罪
while urinating on a Starbucks.
法官阁下这起案件的事实无可辩解
-Your Honor, the facts of this case are not in dispute,
但这个人...这个美丽的人类男性...
but this man -- this beautiful human person man --
应该被更好的理解
deserves better.
如果你亲爱的父亲死在
If your loving father had died
哥伦比亚的咖啡豆田里
in the bean fields of Colombia,
你也会痛恨咖啡的
you would hate coffee, too.
你看见的是一滩小便
You see a puddle of urine,
我看见的是因死去的爸爸而流下的一滩泪
I see a puddle of tears shed for the loss of a dear papa.
先生这些都是真的吗？
-Sir, is any of this true?
求你了法官阁下不要让我的委托人再想起
-Please, Your Honor, don't make my client relive
这种成千上万人经历过的
a painful experience that happened
痛苦经历...也许也包括他
to millions of people -- and possibly him.
菲尔丁先生你这是在干什么？
-Mr. Fielding, what are you doing?
我这完全是在按你要的在做
-I'm doing exactly what you asked me to do.
我正在扮演一个公设辩护人
I'm acting like a public defender.
我正在对我的委托人表示同情
I'm feeling for my client.
我这有很多很多同情
And I have so many feelings.
它们流淌在我的血管里
They're moving around [gasps] inside my body.
辩护人近一步说话
-Counselor, please approach the bench.
我喜欢这件毛线衫
I like the sweater.
这简直就是个通告就像在说
It really makes a statement, like,
“我告诉法官我准备做些什么
"I told the judge I was gonna do something
但实际上几乎什么都没做”
but then did as close to nothing as possible."
这可不是无意义的
-This is not nothing.
额这是我正在向你展示你关于
Uh, this is me showing that your idea of how
我该如果为这些委托人辩护的想法并不比我做的更好
I should defend these clients is no better than how I do it
因为总的来说他们本来就是有罪的
because, basically, [whispers] they're all guilty anyway.
布赫瓦尔德先生我嗯...
-Mr. Buchwald, I, um --
我注意到这是你第一次触犯法律
I notice this is your first run-in with the law.
而且我看见你的登记表上拼错了几个单词
Also see here on your intake forms you misspelled a couple words.
你把你的元音调换了好几次
You transposed your vowels a few times.
你是不是患有阅读障碍？
By any chance, are you dyslexic?
我有法官阁下但按我所知
-I am, Your Honor, but it's my understanding
这只有在德州才算犯罪
that's only a crime in Texas.
那这是不是会造成对
-And does this condition make it difficult to, say,
厕所这个词的读写困难？
type in a bathroom security code?
额我反对... 法官你在做他的工作
-Uh, objection -- the judge is doing his job.
基于伤残原因法庭裁定被告胜诉
-Court finds in favor of defense on the basis of disability.
案件驳回
Case dismissed.
干得漂亮我们合作的很好是吧？
-Good catch. We make a great team, huh?
好吧好吧好吧好吧你证明了你的观点
Yeah, all right, fine, fine, fine, you made your point.
你的...你的方法也能起作用
Your -- Your approach could work, too.
但你知道的我不是那种律师
But, you know, I'm not that kind of lawyer.
我都是基于证据和判例
I deal with evidence and precedent,
而不是感觉情绪
not feelings, emotions,
或者“妈妈没有给我爱所以我现在吃人”
and "Mommy didn't hug me enough so now I eat people."
瞧你这是在自暴自弃
-See, you're giving up on yourself,
这让你成为了代表这些被
which makes you the perfect person to represent people
不断抛弃的人的最佳人选
who are constantly given up on.
好吧
-Fine.
好吧好吧好吧
Fine. All right, fine, fine.
我会试试的
I will try.
我会深入了解
I will dig in.
我会像大家一样去了解我的委托人
I will get to know my clients as people.
就像我水壶上写的“你能递（做）到”
Just like my water bottle says, "You Can D It."
那个“O”已经被洗掉了
The "O" is already washed off.
给你个建议你不能把这个弄湿
FYI, you can't get these wet.
所以这个周末我们还去吗？
-So, are we still on for this weekend?
这周末... 这个周末不行
-This weeken-- This -- Can't.
嗯我要参加表妹的宝宝派对
Ugh, got my cousin's baby shower.
不你有空 10月8号♥的时候
-No, you don't. On October 8th,
我问你这个周末有没有安排
I asked if you had anything planned this weekend,
你就说要去参加表妹的宝宝派对
and you said it was your cousin's baby shower.
但之后 12号♥的时候当我邀请你去中世纪剧院餐厅的时候
But then, on the 12th, you said it moved to my birthday
你说这派对改到了我生日那天
when I invited you to Medieval Times.
也就是说这个周末你是属于我的
So that means that this weekend, you are all mine.
闺蜜旅行！
Girls trip!
公车早上五点出发
Bus leaves at 5:00 a.m.
你有连环杀手的记忆力
-You have the memory of a serial killer.
在找乐子方面
In a fun way.