夜间法庭（2023）

Night Court S01E07

Part 4 April 28, 2023, 11:20 a.m.

我知道对有些和我们国家最伟大的猴子见过面的人来说
I get that meeting a celebrity might not be a big deal
和名人见面也许不是什么大事
for someone who's met some of our nation's greatest monkeys.
但对新来这里的人不是这样
But it's hard being new in town.
在你的人生里你总是听到有人和你说纽约是多么神奇
Your whole life, you hear about how magical New York is,
而当你来到这里发现这里只有脚手架和奇怪的水坑
and when you get here, it's just scaffolding and weird puddles.
而当一些神奇的事情终于发生时
And when something magical finally does happen,
比如猛♥男♥兰迪.萨维奇来到我们法庭
like Macho Man Randy Savage coming to your courtroom,
（兰迪.萨维奇，著名美国摔跤运动员）
嗯你却因为当天请假
well, you miss it 'cause it's the one day you took off work
并且没有人告诉你而错过了
and no one even bothers to page you.
你的偶像是兰迪.萨维奇？
Your hero is Macho Man Randy Savage?
Oh, yeah!
[ As Randy Savage ] Oh, yeah!
（Oh, yeah!是兰迪.萨维奇的口头禅）
我只是想照顾艾比
[ Normal voice ] I-I just wanted to look out for Abby
就像我希望有人能照顾我一样
the way I wish someone had looked out for me.
最后一个案子对肖恩.皮尔斯的公诉
Last case-- People vs. Shawn Pierce.
我看到被告对袭击轻罪不做抗辩
I see here the defendant is pleading no contest to misdemeanor assault.
根据由目击者
Based on the witness statements
国宝塔拉·利平斯基和约翰尼.威尔提供的陈述...
provided by national treasures Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir--
嘿!... 我将判处被告缴纳100美元罚金后开释
hey!-- I will let the defendant off with a $100 fine.
-结...
- Case dis--
法官阁下辩方律师要求暂停
Your Honor, the defense would like to call a time-out.
但我正准备发出法槌的声音
But I was about to make my gavel noise.
哇哦丹.菲尔丁进行大胆的行动
Whoa. Dan Fielding making a bold and daring move.
没有人预料到这点
No one was expecting this.
让我们听下去他是否能笑到最后呢？
Let's listen in. Will he stick this landing?
我们要修改我们的认罪申请改为无罪
We're gonna be amending our plea to not guilty
并且要传唤一大堆目击者
and calling a bunch of witnesses,
所以如果有人预定了预付餐费和小费的晚餐
so if anybody has a pre-paid and pre-tipped dinner reservation,
好吧他们可以和这说拜拜了
well, they can kiss that goodbye.
所以我们的第一位目击者我们想传唤
So for our first witness, we'd like to call
那个从袋子里吸牛奶的男人
man sucking milk out of the bag.
这是你第一次被困在地铁里
For your first time getting stuck on a subway,
你处理的很好
you handled it pretty well.
老实说这和我被困在
Honestly, it wasn't that different
玉米地里的时候没什么不同
from when I was trapped in a corn maze.
田里的稻草人和我度过了一段美好时光
That scarecrow and I had some good times.
尽管我知道某种程度上
Though I think, on some level,
我们都知道我们所拥有的东西转瞬即逝
we both knew what we had was fleeting,
而这就是它的特别之处
and that's what made it so special.
好吧你刚在里边的确干的不错
Well, you definitely kept it from getting ugly in there.
所以你觉得这让我更接近一个真正的纽约人了吗？
So you think this gets me closer to being a real New Yorker?
额谁知道一个真正的纽约人是什么样的？
Eh, who knows what a real New Yorker even is?
我所知道的就是这是个怪咖的城市
All I know is, this is a city of weirdos,
而你那种不可理喻的积极态度
and your relentless positivity
让你成了我遇到的最怪的一个人
makes you one of the weirdest people I ever met.
奥利维亚谢谢你
Olivia, thank you.
你会好起来的
You're gonna be just fine.
好到足够做你的地铁伙伴吗？
Fine enough to be your subway buddy?
没有
No.
你根本不认识被告
You don't know the defendant at all,
但你父母给你取名叫斯蒂芬妮带个“F”
but your parents named you Stefanie with an "F."
为什么你不能一伙儿带我们一起走过这路呢？
Why don't you take us all down that road for a second.
我问完了辩方出示证据完毕
I've heard enough. Defense rests.
等一下我有个问题
Hold on. I have a question.
约翰尼塔拉你们觉得对我来说
Johnny, Tara, do you think it's too late for me
学怎么滑冰是不是太晚了
to learn how to skate?
艾比看看这是谁
Abby, look who's here.
-艾比.斯通？ -塔拉约翰尼嗨！
- Abby Stone? - Tara, Johnny, hi!
完美的登场
Flawless entrance.
没有比艾比.斯通更适合走进这个房♥间了
Nobody walks into a room better than Abby Stone.
等一下你们互相认识？
Wait a minute. You know each other?
当然我每年都在冰人节见他们
Of course. I see them every year at Freezing Man.
就像火人节一样但是为冰雪运动而设
It's like Burning Man but for winter sports,
（火人节始于1986年，基本宗旨是提倡社区观念、包容、创造性、时尚以及反消费主义）
我们不嗑药而是进行冰上表演
and instead of drugs, we're high on ice pageantry.
所以等一下
So hold on a second.
你让我错过了我一生中重要的一餐
You made me miss the meal of a lifetime
就为了让艾比能见一下她已经认识的人？
so that Abby could meet people she's already met?
我也是无意中听到她和别人说起的
For a conversation I overheard her having with someone else,
我已经很接近了
I got pretty close.
哦我们该走了
Oh, we've got to go.
某个白♥痴♥放弃了在科尔蒙松的预定。
Some idiot gave up their reservation at Chromosomme.
哦！你愿意和我们共进晚餐吗法官阁下？
Ooh! Would you like to join us for dinner, Your Honor?
哦当然啦！
Oh, hell yeah!
现在休庭
Court is adjourned.
接着你可以吃我的鸡肉面
Here. You can have my chicken noodle.
我们出发出发抱歉让一下
Let's go, let's go. Excuse me.
我很抱歉你错过了你的特别晚餐。
I'm sorry you missed your special dinner.
但作为朋友我想我比科学更了解你所以...
But as a friend, I think I know you better than science, so--
古尔斯猪头奶酪
Gurgs, hog's head cheese,
炖鸡爪炸鸡胗
stewed chicken feet, fried gizzards.
哦！
Oh!
这是为国王准备的盛宴
It's a feast fit for a king.
这些都是你长大的地方
These are all the weird swamp delicacies
路易斯安那州的奇怪沼泽美食
you grew up on in Louisiana.
你知道吗？我觉得你的描述很粗俗
You know what? I'd call your description rude,
但我从小到大最喜欢的餐厅
but my favorite restaurant growing up
就叫做沼泽美食
was called Swamp Delicacies.
哦那简直太梦幻了
Oh. It was very fancy.
你可以自己从水箱里挑选活鳄鱼
You could pick your own live gator from a tank.
嘿伙计们我只是想说太感谢你们
Hey, guys, I just wanted to say thank you so much
在庭上为我拖延时间了
for stalling court for me.
那是...呦那些是鸡胗吗？
It was-- Yo, are those gizzards?
-是啊！ -让我也加入吧！
- Yes! - Let me in there!
快来找位子坐
Come on, sit down.
人人有份
Feet for everybody.
快来啊
- Come on.
我不行...呕！
I ain't-- Ugh!
-城里人 -城里人
- City folk. - City folk.