夜间法庭（2023）
Night Court
第一季
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夜间法庭（2023）
Night Court S01E05
Part 1
April 28, 2023, 11:20 a.m.
丹 过来坐 这水不错
-Dan, come on over. The water's fine.
我这水和你们的一样 而且你知道的这水不咋样
-I have the same water as you, and you know it's not fine.
好吧 嗯 那你可错过了
-Alright, well, you're missing out,
因为我们在一起玩的很开心
'cause we're having a pretty good time over here.
怎么？ 怎么啦？
-What? What is it?
没什么 就是你身上的味... 法官阁下
-It's nothing, your odor -- Your Honor.
假设 如果你有个同事
-Hypothetically, if you had a co-worker
她闻起来像出租车后备箱里馊掉的纸箱
who smelled like soggy cardboard in the back of a taxi,
那你想让我怎么告诉你那就是你呢？
would you want me to tell you that that's you?
我住的公♥寓♥有点问题
-I'm having some issues with my apartment.
它在一家德国啤酒馆的上面 所以无论我怎么做
It's above a German beer hall, so no matter what I do,
我都闻起来像德国酸菜 芥末酱 和足球粉体味的混合物
I smell like a combination of sauerkraut, mustard, and soccer fan B.O.
是啊 和我想要的公♥寓♥有差距 但这里是纽约
Yeah, it's not my dream apartment, but it's New York.
反正没人会在里边多待
Nobody spends time inside anyway.
而这周末我的未婚夫兰德会过来 那就待的更少了
And it will be even less when my fiancé, Rand, visits this weekend.
他要去见《观点》的女士们
He wants to go see the ladies of "The View."
不是在秀场 他不知出于什么原因知道她们住哪
Not the show. He knows where they live for some reason.
所以 完全没问题 没事的
So, it's totally fine. It's fine.
只要任何有鼻子的人靠近你
-It's not fine for people who are close to you
那就会有问题
and still have a nose.
你需要找个新的公♥寓♥ 你知道吗 你身处的这栋建筑里
You need a new apartment. You know, and you happen to be
恰好能获得相关的信息
in the building with the info to get it.
而你要做的就是找个在这里能吃得开的人
What you do is that you find whoever has this place wired,
这样就行了
and you're set.
克莱尔 你看上去不错
-Claire, looking good.
唐尼 我喜欢你的单人秀
Donnie, I loved your one-man show.
蒂莫！ 你妈妈的牛皮藓怎么样了？
Timo! How's your mama's psoriasis?
好吧 告诉她保持头抬起并且注意头皮保湿
Well, tell her to keep her head up and her scalp moisturized.
我知道上哪去找了
-I see where this is going.
嗯 我会帮你的
Fine, I'll help you.
所以 古尔斯
-So, Gurgs,
最近过得怎么样？
how's your life going?
一如既往的好 我有台玉米饼机
-Great as always. I got a quesadilla maker.
只要往里加点芝士
With a little bit of cheese,
我能把任何东西都做成玉米饼
I can turn anything into a quesadilla.
这个文件夹？ 做成玉米饼
This folder? Quesadilla.
这件衬衫？ 做成玉米饼
This shirt? Quesadilla. [ Laughs ]
我听说你可能 额 知道一些确切信息
-I heard you might, uh, know certain things,
比如给人居住的地方之类
like places where people, um, dwell.
法官正试着问你是否能帮她
-What the judge is trying to ask is can you help her find
找一间让她不会闻起来像
a new apartment that doesn't make her smell
在男性专用煎蛋咖啡馆里的新公♥寓♥？
like the inside of a men's-only omelet cafe?
谢谢你 丹
-Thank you, Dan.
我只是想这周末让兰德看到我过的不错
I'd just love to have something to show Rand this weekend.
我们现在一直异地恋
We've been doing the long-distance thing,
但我们让这变得挺有趣的
but we make it fun.
有家小餐馆正好在我们两地中间
There's a nice little diner halfway between us
特♥供♥一种奥塔尼昂蛤蜊浓汤
that specializes in something called Oneonta Clam Chowder,
这汤是灰色的
which is gray.
嗯 我很高兴你能来找我帮忙
-Well, I'm glad you came to me for help.
我是个很棒的业余房♥地♥产♥经纪人
I'm a great amateur Realtor.
我给我朋友谢尔丽找了个非常好的店面
I found my friend Cheryl an amazing storefront
她在那卖♥♥废弃摄像头
where she sells garbage cams.
-罐头 -摄像头
-Cans. -Cams.
-罐头
-Cans.
-罐头 -摄像头
Cans. -Cams.
好吧 我想我懂了
-Okay, I think we got it.
所以帮你找个房♥那是小事一桩
-And finding you a place will be super easy.
我是说 谁不想让法官欠他个人情呢？
I mean, who wouldn't want a judge owing them a favor?
额 我不希望把我的职位牵扯进去
-Uh, I'd rather my position not be a part of it.
我当法官是因为我想
I became a judge because I want
是为了帮助他人 而不是为了额外的好处
to help people, not for the perks.
好吧 所以你有自己的道德准则
-Okay, so you got a moral code.
这让事情有点难办了
That's gonna make this harder.
但我会想办法的
But I got this.
如果作为艺术实验的一部分让
Would you be okay if people watched you sleep
人们看你睡觉 会不会有问题？
as part of an art experiment?
艾比会找到合适住处的 而且她回想此事时会充满感慨
-Abby will find a place, and she'll look back on this fondly,
因为在纽约租到糟糕的公♥寓♥
because having a bad apartment in New York
就像场常人仪式 就像告诉你的朋友你喜欢他的玩笑
is a rite of passage, like telling your friend you loved his play.
我曾经住在过罐头工厂下边
-I lived under a cannery once.
你们知道原来鱼会尖叫吗？
Did you know fish scream?
这是雄性鲑鱼
-That's male salmon.
我好像有东西忘在餐厅了
-I think I left something in the cafeteria.
嗯嗯 没错 是我的充电器
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. It was my charger
为了我的 额 “bippity-bip, ring-ring”
for my, uh, bippity-bip, ring-ring.
(实在查不到这个是什么，似乎是两首歌♥？）
喔 等等 发生了什么？
-Whoa. Wait. What's happening?
-哦 那是她吗？ -是什么？ 什么她？
-Oh. Is that her? -Is what? Is that who?
-我什么都没看见 我们快走吧 -不 等等
-I've never met anyone. Let's go. -No, wait, just --
我从没想过会对这栋建筑里的任何人说这句话
I never thought I'd say this to anybody in this building,
但是 尼尔 快请告诉怎么回事
but, Neil, please, tell me more.
几年前 奥利维亚申请了一家
-A few years ago, Olivia was up for a job
在代表那些可怕的坏蛋的大律所的工作
at one of those big law firms that represents all the terrible people.
-真是恭喜了 -谢谢你啊
-Congratulations. -Thank you.
所以 她面试搞砸了
-So, she bombs the interview,
抓着那个女人不放 骚扰她...
chases that woman down, corners her --
不是这样 我面试成功了
-No, I nailed the interview,
然后 在大厅里
and then after, in the lobby,
我遇到了律所的一个合伙人 莱斯利
I bumped into one of the partners, Lesley,
我有点焦虑不安
and I got a little flustered
试图和她进行友好交流
trying to engage in polite conversation,
你懂的 比如“你准备怎么吃你的布丁？"之类的
you know, like, "How do you take your pudding?"
我的天啊
-[ Laughs ] Dear God.
然后...然后...然后我想挤进
-And -- And -- And then I accidentally crammed myself
她进入的旋转门的同一个格子
into the same section of the revolving door
结果却意外被卡住了
that she was in, and it got stuck.
整整六小时 她一直在说布丁的事
-For six hours, and she talked about pudding the whole time.
简直毁了自己的职业生涯
-[ Sighs ] That is a career ruiner,
但往好的方面想 你真是把我逗乐了
but on the bright side, you have made me very happy.
我们能不谈这事吗？
-Can we stop talking about this now?
我讨厌回想起这事
'Cause I hate this story.
哦 你们在说门和布丁那事？
-Oh, y'all talking about door pudding?
我喜欢那个故事
I love that story.
她在这里干什么？
-What is she even doing here?
我...我以为再也不会见到这个女人了
I-I thought I would never have to see that woman again.
看起来她明晚在这里有个案子要办
-It looks like she has a case here tomorrow night.
什么？ 我明晚也要上庭啊
-What? I'm gonna be in court tomorrow night.
也就是说我不得不面对她
That means I'm gonna have to look at her.
而她也能看到我
And she's gonna be able to look at me.
嗯 这就是和一个人在同一屋檐下的相处方式
-Well, that's how being in the same room with a person works.
你是要进来干♥你♥的活还是咋地？
-Y'all gonna come in here and do your job or what?
检方控告西姆斯先生袭击他人
-The State is charging Mr. Simms with assault.
在他第九次因噪音原因被投诉后
He had an altercation with his landlord,
房♥东要驱逐他 之后二人发生口角
who evicted him after his ninth noise complaint.
但是 法官阁下 你要理解
-But, Your Honor, you got to understand,
我只是想要写出一首完美的歌♥曲
I'm just trying to write that one perfect song.
请别弹
-Let's not.
袭击？ 法官阁下 这只是个误会
Assault? Your Honor, this was a simple misunderstanding.
我的委托人只是推了他的房♥东一把
My client accidentally pushed his landlord
当时他正被赶出他住了12年的家
as he was being evicted from his home of 12 years.
法警 你有什么话要说吗？
-Bailiff, do you need a moment?
我没事 法官阁下
-I'm fine, Your Honor.
驱逐 嗯哈？ 这很有意思
Eviction, huh? That's interesting.
一间空置的公♥寓♥
An empty apartment.
空虚的像发疯一样
Empty like crazy.
法警 上前说话
-Bailiff, approach the bench.
哦 我还从来没这么做过
-Oh. I never get to do this.
你是不是把这回收房♥屋案件放到了文件最上边？
-Did you move an eviction case to the top of the pile?
没有 法官阁下
-No, Your Honor.
我重放了整叠文件
夜间法庭（2023）
Night Court
剧集 | 夜间法庭（2023） | 导航列表