夜间法庭（2023）

Night Court S01E12

Part 1 May 4, 2023, 10:57 a.m.

下一案纽约市对詹姆斯.T.库什队长的起诉
-Next case, The City of New York vs. Captain James T. Kush.
他因在自己租的船上种植和销♥售♥大♥麻♥而被捕
He was arrested for growing and selling marijuana on his charter boat.
等一下
-Hold on.
这是我遇到的最正常的一个案子了
Yes, this is the least surprised I've ever been.
法官阁下我的委托人是在运营一项
-Your Honor, my client runs a respectable business
被大学学生狂热歌♥迷和伍迪.哈里森都喜欢的体面生意
beloved by college students, Deadheads, and Woody Harrelson.
伍迪.哈里森，好莱坞演员，22年的时候在西好莱坞开了家大♥麻♥药店
另外阁下我当时在公海
-Plus, Your Excellency, I was in international waters.
只有大海能审判我
My only judge should be the sea.
嗯你那是在东河
-Um, you were in the East River.
东河，是美国纽约州纽约市市内的一条潮汐型海峡，北接长岛海湾，南接上纽约湾，
将曼哈顿岛与布鲁克林区和皇后区分隔开
那里既不国际也不是海域
That's not international or water.
不过判非法毒品交易这种重罪似乎有点重了
Still, though, felony drug trafficking seems a little steep.
额检察官你知道为什么地检办公室这次这么严厉吗?
Uh, Counselor, do you know why the DA's office went so harsh?
嗯? 哦当然
-Hmm? Oh, absolutely,
我在听
I am listening.
本庭决定判处被告缴纳罚金后开释
-The court chooses to let the defendant off with a fine
并且严正警告"不许再在你的船上种大♥麻♥了啊!"
and a stern "don't ye be growin' any more cannabis on yer vessel, argh."
好了老兄给你个建议...
-Okay, dude, a piece of advice --
奇多不能当防臭剂
Cheetos are not a deodorant.
奥利维亚你没事吧?
-Olivia, you feeling okay?
我是说我知道你不喜欢待在这
I mean, I know you don't like being here,
但今晚这表现的太明显了
but tonight it actually shows.
当艾利.贝登古尔在那的时候
-It's hard to care about these other cases
我实在很难关注这些案子
when Eli Bettencourt is over there.
等等艾利.贝登古尔? 在这? 今晚?
-Wait, Eli Bettencourt? Is here? Tonight?
那是谁?
Who is that?
就是那个有护士陪着的人
-He's the one with the nurse.
他是这座城市里最大的政♥治♥掮客之一
He's one of the city's biggest political power brokers.
对我来说幸运的是他在晚餐后
And luckily for me, he was assaulted
回家的路上被袭击了
on his way home from dinner.
如果我赢了他不会忘记感谢我的
If I win, I'll gain his undying gratitude
而这将让我变成史上第一位性感的
and be on my way to becoming the first classically hot
最高法♥院♥法官
Supreme Court Justice.
好吧除非你把厄尔.沃伦也算上
Well, u-unless you count Earl Warren.
厄尔.沃伦，美国法学家，美国第14任首席大♥法♥官，
在美国宪法发生重大变化的时期主持了最高法♥院♥
哦他可是个帅哥
-Ooh, he was a smoke show.
那么如果你不介意的话我听到命运的召唤了
-Now, if you'll excuse me, destiny awaits.
法官阁下本人地方检察官杰夫.德威特
-Your Honor, District Attorney Jeff Dewitt,
代表纽约市
representing New York City
和我亲爱的朋友艾利.贝登古尔
and my dear friend Eli Bettencourt.
接下来由我接手了艾莉西亚
I'll take it from here, Alicia.
嗯保持乐观
-Well, stay positive.
也许你下一个案子里的受害者也是个权利掮客
Maybe the victim in your next case is also a power broker.
又或者那条巨蛇会把你生吞下去
Or maybe that giant snake will swallow you whole.
你永远都不会知道
You just never know.
这就是夜间法庭宝贝
That's Night Court, baby.
嗯这不是丹.菲尔丁嘛
-Well, if it isn't Dan Fielding.
这么说谣言是真的
So the rumors are true.
-你现在当了公设辩护人? -杰夫.德威特
-You're a public defender now? -Jeff Dewitt.
我听说你没来得及跳下雷曼兄弟那艘破船
I heard you drowned on the Lehman Brothers boat.
雷曼兄弟公♥司♥，曾经美国第四大投行，在2008年次贷危机中破产
你想得美他们把妇女和儿童放在最后
-You wish. They do women and children last.
-你俩是朋友? -前同事
-You two friends? -Former colleagues.
我和杰夫是老交情了
Jeff and I go way back.
我曾经给过他如何穿搭的建议
I used to give him advice on how to dress.
但很显然他已经忘光了
Obviously he's forgotten all of it.
我真的很高兴你的到来地方检察官先生
-I'm actually glad you're here, Mr. District Attorney.
我注意到了从你办公室流出来的一些动态
I've noticed some trends coming out of your office
我真的很想和你谈谈
that I'd really like to talk to you about.
太过公正了?
-Too much justice?
鼓掌嘭！
Up top, boom!
说笑的当然地检办公室非常重视
No, of course, the DA's office takes the concerns
来自于像你这样法官的意见
of a jurist like yourself very seriously.
让我们...让我们安排个正式的会议
Let's -- Let's get a meeting on the books.
哦我不开正式的(on the books)会议
-Oh, I've never had a meeting on the books.
我只开关于书的(about books)会议
I've had a meeting about books.
当在我们那他们试图禁止"戴帽子的猫"的时候
Back home when they tried to ban "Cat in the Hat"
戴帽子的猫，2003年上映的家庭奇幻喜剧电影，
主角是一只戴着帽子直立行走会说英语的巨猫
因为它太能捣乱了
for being pro-mischief.
想不想像从前那样赌一把丹?
-Care to bet on the outcome like in the old days, Dan?
我已经收手很久了
-Sadly I'm no longer a gambling man.
所以说赌500？
So say 500?
这不白给的嘛她看起来挺菜的
-Easy money. She looks like a pushover.
啊亲爱的杰夫你到时会希望自己走的安详
-Ah, sweet Jeff, you're going to wish you died at sea.
下一案对吉尔.克兰德尔的公诉
-Next up, The People vs. Gil Crandall.
我们办公室以一级人身攻击和抢劫罪名起诉
-My office is charging assault and robbery in the first degree.
听着这就是我说的那种过度指控
-See, this is exactly the kind of excessive charge I'm talking about.
事实是贝登古尔先生因为他那箱
-The fact is Mr. Bettencourt was attacked
难得的的生蚝而被攻击
for his to-go container of hard-earned oysters.
这位吉尔从这位伟大的人口中夺食
Gil here stole food out of this great man's beautiful mouth.
好吧根据看门人的证词...
-Well, according to the doorman's statement --
哦我想知道看门人是站在哪一边的
-Ooh, I wonder whose side the doorman is going to be on.
这两人互相撞在一起
-The two men bumped into each other
而贝登古尔先生把他的食品袋扔向被告
and Mr. Bettencourt threw his doggie bag at the defendant,
并叫骂"去你♥妈♥的♥ 穷逼"
yelling, "Suck on that, Poor-o."
和你说下我现在很少用现金了
-By the way, I'm a cashless business now.
我现在有在用Venmo
I have something called Venmo.
Venmo是一个知名的网络社交平台，同时也提供点对点移♥动♥支付服务，
简单的来讲Venmo类似于我们国内的微信，可以社交也可以进行小额转账。
这些都是什么?
What's all this?
啊明天下午我和杰夫.德威特在一个叫
-Ah, I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon with Jeff Dewitt
曼哈顿遗产俱乐部的地方的地方有个会
at something called the Manhattan Heritage Club.
遗产俱乐部? 那是老纽约了
-Heritage Club? That's old New York.
你知道吗那地方创立于1784年为的就是
You know, it was founded in 1784 as a place to be able
能在背后说亚历山大.汉密尔顿的闲话
to gossip behind Alexander Hamilton's back.
亚历山大.汉密尔顿，美国国父之一，财政体系的创建者，
第一任财政部长，华盛顿经济政策的左膀右臂
好吧听起来是个说服杰夫的完美地方
-Well, it sounds like the perfect place to convince Jeff
他的办公室只关注于指控率的作风
that his office's focus on conviction rates
正在毁掉很多人并且也没有让城市变得更安全
is ruining lives and not making the city any safer.
你就准备这么和他说?
-And you're going to say all those words to him?
当然不是
-Of course not.
我还在我的iPad上做了饼状图
I also have my iPad loaded up with pie charts.
哦你觉得我是不是该叫这饼帕得?
Ooh, do you think I should call it a pie pad?
谢天谢地我来了
-Thank God I'm here.
你要明白如果你直接告诉他你想要什么那你就永远得不到
You know, if you tell him what you want, you will never get it.
你需要丹.菲尔丁的三个幕后交易小妙招
You need Dan Fielding's three-pronged approach to backroom dealing.
听着你首先由一些和善的侮辱开始
Alright, you start with a few good-natured insults,
接着再来点带着讽刺的赞美嗯?
Follow it up with a couple of backhanded compliments, huh?
而到了这个时候他差不多已经喝了三杯威士忌了
And by that time, he's going to be three scotches deep
并且他会告诉你他真正想要什么
and he will tell you what he really wants
到这时候就是你说了算了
and then you're in the driver's seat.
这就是打个比方
Metaphorically speaking.
如果你真在一辆车里
If you're actually in a car,
那就是两回事了
it's a whole different set of prongs.
丹我很感谢你的建议但我没事的
-Dan, I appreciate the advice, but I'm all good.
这不是什么幕后交易
This isn't some backroom deal.
事实上当我和杰夫见面的时候
In fact, when I meet with Jeff,
我会问他们要他们最前面的房♥间
I'm going to ask for the front-iest room they've got.
他会把你生吞活剥了的
-He's going to eat you alive.
牛肉干?
-Beef jerky?
你为啥要在大庭广众之下吃这丢人玩意？
Why are you eating shame food out in the open?
艾利应该是我离开这里的天赐良机
-Eli was supposed to be my Golden Ticket out of here.
而杰夫.德威特就像个德国胖小子一样突然冒出来
And then Jeff Dewitt showed up like a fat German kid
我到手的大奖就这么被他截胡了
and snatched my Golden Ticket away.
嘿你还是赢了只要你不是
-Hey, it's still a win, as long as you're not
这四个一直睡在
one of those four weird grandparents
客厅里的怪老头老太
sleeping head to toe in the living room.
好吧至少你不用把你的周六像艾比一样
Well, at least you don't have to waste your Saturday
浪费在杰夫那愚蠢的老式俱乐部里
at Jeff's dumb old club like Abby.
艾比被邀请去曼哈顿遗产俱乐部了?
-Abby got invited to the Manhattan Heritage Club?
那个汇聚了纽约法律精英的顶级俱乐部?
The premier club for legal elites in New York City?