夜间法庭（2023）

Night Court S01E04

Part 3 April 28, 2023, 11:20 a.m.

我们三个一起出来聚聚
-The three of us were having a group hang,
而丹出了个好主意
and Dan had the great idea
邀请他几天前遇到的优雅女士
to invite the charming woman he met the other day.
好吧我很高兴她来不了然后你们邀请了我
-Well, I'm glad she couldn't make it and you asked me.
不不我们说的就是你
-No, no, we mean you.
她就是在说你为什么你要这么说呢？
She means you. Why did you say it like that?
-为什么我们不先坐下呢？ -好的
-Why don't you have a seat? -All right.
哦没错
-Oh, yes.
啊我喜欢这个地方
-Ah, I love this place.
你知道吗这地方的意大利蔬菜汤可好吃了
You know, the minestrone here is incredible.
她可真会撩
-[ Whispering loudly ] This one's a keeper.
我一直不喜欢喝汤
-I've never been a fan of soup.
就有点像热果汁
It's sort of like hot juice.
所以朱丽安娜你是哪里人？
-So, Julianne, where are you from?
嗯啊我出生在斯塔顿岛
-Uh, well, I-I grew up on Staten Island,
-但我12岁的时候我父母... -哦哦！冷知识！
-but when I was 12, my parents -- -Oop! Trivia!
你知道吗纽约和新泽西是用一场赛艇比赛
Do you know that New York and New Jersey had a boat race --
来决定斯坦顿岛的归属的？
[mimics motor] -- to decide who would incorporate Staten Island?
真的吗？
-Really? Huh.
你要知道我都没听说过
You know, I never heard that.
-你是说我在说谎？ -什么？
-You calling me a liar? -What?
-哈哈！这家伙！
-Ha, ha! This guy!
丹对不起是我太笨拙了
-Dan, I'm sorry. I'm so clumsy.
你为什么不去卫生间把身体擦干呢？
Why don't you go to the bathroom and dry off?
-搞什么？ -还有尼尔陪他一起去
-What the? -And Neil, go with him.
-让他冷静下 -好的但我也要
-Calm him down. -Okay, but I'm also gonna pee
去里边撒个尿
while I'm in there.
你为什么要和我说这个？
-Why would you tell me that?
对于丹的表现我很抱歉
I'm sorry about Dan.
我保证平时他只是坏脾气而不是精神失常
I promise he's usually more grumpy than he is insane.
他只是因为真的喜欢你而感到紧张
He's just nervous because he really likes you.
他没什么好紧张的
-He's got nothing to be nervous about.
你知道的我又不是来办什么正经事
You know, it's not like I'm looking for something serious.
只是来找点乐子罢了
I just want to have a little fun.
啊找乐子
-Ah, fun.
比如找人打保龄球那种乐子？
Fun like someone to go bowling with?
-不是比如寻欢作乐 -对寻欢作乐
-No, like a fling. -Right, a fling.
就像支持对方的感情生活并且
Like an emotional fling where you support
在精神上互相拥抱那样放纵自己的感情吗？
the other's inner life and embrace each other spiritually?
是说性♥爱♥ 艾比我是说性♥爱♥
-Like sex, Abby. I'm talking about sex.
性♥爱♥就像...
-Sex like --
没法解释了这个车速太快了
Nope, no way to intentionally misinterpret that.
就是性♥爱♥！
Sex it is!
丹丹丹丹
Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan.
哦是的我知道彻底搞砸了
-Oh, yes, I know, it's going terribly,
但你也不要派尼尔来厕所陪我啊
but you didn't have to send Neil to the bathroom with me.
他还在里边反复摆弄他的头发
He's still in there moving the part in his hair back and forth.
我得和你说点关于朱丽安娜的事
-I gotta tell you something about Julianne.
不用费心了你知道为啥吗？因为我要回家了
-Don't bother. You know what? I'm going home.
我显然还没准备好和别人约会
I was clearly not ready for a date with a person.
今晚到此为止也不失为一个好主意
-Calling it a night is probably a good idea.
朱丽安娜不想慢慢来
Julianne doesn't want to go slow.
她想要速战速决直接约炮
She wants to go fast. Sex fast.
我们还是离开吧
Let's just get out of here.
喔喔喔喔等一下
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on there.
让我理一理什么情况
Just give me a minute to process this.
理什么理？
-What is there to process?
我不觉得你准备好了
I don't think you're ready for this.
你准备怎么做... 回家关上灯
What are you gonna do -- go home, turn down the lights,
点几根蜡烛然后对她喊船上的事？
light some candles, and yell boat facts at her?
我...我还从来没想过要和女人
-I-I don't think I've ever told a woman
说我不想做♥爱♥
I don't want to have sex.
我也不知道听起来会是什么感觉
I don't even know how that would sound.
嗨我叫丹我不想看到你的裸体
Hi, my name is Dan. I don't want to see you naked.
哦这听起来有问题
Ooh, that sounds wrong.
在你做出任何动作前先仔细想想
-Before you jump into anything, just take a minute.
想想如果是空洞的毫无意义的放纵是不是你真正想要的
Consider if an empty, meaningless fling is really what you want.
你说得对
-You're right.
你想要离开这吗？
-Do you want to get out of here?
当然我去拿下东西
-Absolutely. Let me get my things.
哦我们会在这过的很欢乐的
-Oh, we're gonna have so much fun in here.
好了来看看...
Okay, check it out --
这是我的热辣嫌犯日历
it's my Hot Mug Shot Guy of the Month calendar.
哪个更能让你性奋辛科.马尔科
Who are you more excited for, Cinco de Marco,
还是...
or [chuckles]...
八夜的肖努卡？
Eight Nights of Shawnukkah?
古尔斯这些人里有的是正儿八经的谋杀犯
-Gurgs, some of those guys are legit murderers.
好吧我可没想像自己和他们的犯罪记录一起在阿鲁巴的海滩上
-Well, I'm not picturing myself on a beach in Aruba with their rap sheets.
而且我们的重要日子都记在上边
Besides, it's got all our important dates on it --
我们的生日我们的办公室纪念日
our birthdays, our officeiversary,
也就是今天
which is today,
我们的假期圣诞派对
our holiday [whispers] Christmas party.
我们要不还是你懂的
-How about we just, you know,
先别说日历的事情
hold off on the calendar talk for now
先集中注意力把这点工作干完？
and maybe focus on getting a little work done?
我们的想法不谋而合
-We couldn't be more on the same page.
我也很关心工作
I'm all about work, too.
事实上我能听听你的意见吗？
Actually, can I get your opinion on something?
想像下你正在法庭上
Imagine you're in the courtroom,
人们在四处闲逛
people are milling about,
然后我对你说“全体起立！”
and then I hit you with, "All rise!"
是不是太响了？
It's too much bass?
还是说你更喜欢这样
Would you prefer something more of a,
“全体起立”？
[sensuously] "All rise"?
嗯我很抱歉我们必须在
-Well, I'm very sorry that we had to
商店边停一下买♥♥瓶红酒但你要知道
stop at the bodega for the wine, but, you know, I understand
我了解这个年份...是袋鼠地酒庄红酒的好年份
that this vintage of... Kangaroo Fields Table Red is a very good year.
（我猜大概是neta了Kangaroo Ridge酒庄吧？）
我来这可不是为了喝酒的丹
-[ Chuckles ] Oh, I'm not here for the wine, Dan.
哦好吧额那来点零食怎么样？
-Oh, well, uhhhhh, how 'bout a snack?
你知道吗我打赌这红酒会和
You know, I bet that wine would pair well with a --
奇多或者弗利多或者多利多兹
a Cheeto, uh, or Frito, of Dorito,
（以上皆为零食品牌）
任何一种零食很配还有多氏！
any of the 'to snacks. Tostito!
啊这样就开头结尾都是“to”了
Ah, that has "to" on both ends.
额你喜欢雨声棒吗？
Uh, uh, do you like rain sticks?
（雨声棒，一种南美土著乐器）
不如我们换个房♥间看看其他棒棒怎么样？
-How 'bout we move to a different room with a different stick?
嗯哦你知道吗
-Well, um, oh, you know,
这是我的亡妻给我的嗯莎拉
I got this with my late wife, um, Sarah.
那是我们第一次一起旅行
It was on our first trip together.
她想要额...
She wanted to, uh --
她想去哥斯达黎加玩高空滑索
She wanted to go zip-lining in Costa Rica,
但我不想去哥斯达黎加
but I didn't want to go to Costa Rica.
我是说我不想去任何需要
I mean, I didn't want to go anywhere
我接种叫做“海龟热”疫苗的地方
where I had to get a vaccination for something called Turtle Fever.
但我又想让她开心
But I wanted to make her happy.
在遇到莎拉之前我都...都无法想象
Before Sarah, I couldn't -- couldn't imagine
把任何人的需求置于自己之前
putting anyone's needs ahead of mine,
但是她改变了我
but she changed me.
我是说额以前的我肯定喜欢这样
I mean, uh, the old me would have been very much into this,
但是额现在我已经改变了
but, uh, I'm a different man now.
我意识到生活不止如此...
I realize there's more to life --
哦天啊！
-Oh, my God!
快别说了
Please stop talking.
哦你真是会扫报复计划的兴
Oh, you really know how to take the fun out of a revenge plot.
对不起等等等等报复计划？
-I'm sorry, wait, wait. Revenge plot?
当然你都不记得我了
-Of course, you don't remember me.
你让法官就因为一点小事而制裁我
You had the judge throw the book at me
比如我烧了前男友房♥子之类的
for a little thing like setting my ex-boyfriend's house on fire.
抱歉稍微等一下
-Sorry, wait a minute.
所以这一切都不过是为了