夜间法庭（2023）

Night Court S01E11

Part 1 April 28, 2023, 11:21 a.m.

接下来是对杰西卡.德尔加多
-Next up, the People v. Jessica Delgado
和凯特琳.科马基软扰乱治安指控的公诉
and Kaitlyn Komacki on a charge of disorderly conduct.
真的假的?
-Really?
又一起在纽约婚博会上发生的扰乱治安案子?
Another disorderly conduct from the New York Wedding Expo?
他们在同一栋楼里举♥行♥摔角狂热大赛
They had WrestleMania in the same building,
摔角狂热大赛(WrestleMania)是WWE(世界摔角娱乐)的年度四大PPV之一
不知怎么的它都不怎么暴♥力♥
and somehow, it was less violent.
这两位女士同时看中了一条梦寐以求的裙子
-These women both saw a dress they simply had to have,
然后她们就开始互殴而不是抛米
and instead of throwing rice, started throwing haymakers.
抛米，是一种国外的古老♥习♥俗，认为向孕妇抛米或麦子可以有助生育
throwing haymakers，抛干草为了对应上边抛米，
但实际应该是引申为haymakers punch，摆拳，拳击中大幅摆动手臂进行强力打击的拳法
你瞧法官阁下我的...我的委托人
-Look, Your Honor, my -- my clients
不能为她们的行为负责
cannot be held responsible for their actions.
她们都被这件裙子逼疯了
They were driven to madness by this dress.
就我而言我可以理解
I, for one, can understand.
我是说看看这精致的礼服
I mean, look at this exquisite gown.
象牙色的蕾丝隐藏的口袋
Ivory lace, hidden pockets,
不知如何裁剪同时具有A型和鱼尾型特点
a-a cut that is somehow both A-line and mermaid?
A-line(A型)和mermaid(鱼尾型)均为礼服款式
-快说话啊 -我知道怎么解决了
-Come on. -I know how to solve this.
我要把婚纱剪成两半你们每人拿一半
I'm gonna cut the dress in two, and each of you can have half.
我们为什么要这么做?
-Why would we do that?
这只会毁了这件礼服
-That would just ruin the dress.
我只是试着学习所罗门的智慧
-I was trying to do the Solomon thing.
指"旧约.列王纪"中所罗门王智断亲子案
圣经里的记述的
From the Bible.
就像"权力的游戏" 但人们更喜欢它的结局
It's like "Game of Thrones," but people like the ending more.
吐槽"权力的游戏"最终季的逗比剧情
我什么要费力从石头中拔出这把剑?
-Why'd I even bother pulling this sword out of that stone?
好吧我就按圣经处以30枚银币
-Alright, I'm gonna go with the biblical fine
或者200美元罚金
of 30 pieces of silver, or $200 American.
还有这件礼服要归还展会
And the dress needs to be returned to the expo.
出了点小问题
-Little problem with that.
啊哦耶
-Ah, hell yeah.
凛冬将至!
Winter is coming!
本作品仅供学习交流使用，禁止商业用途
婚礼实在太糟糕了
-Weddings are the worst.
为什么我不得不请假飞去芝加哥
Why should I have to take off work and fly to Chicago
就因为你要多个新室友?
because you're getting a new roommate?
嗯我还不会那么快安顿下来
-Well, I'm not settling down anytime soon,
但一旦我做了我要在海滩上举♥行♥温馨的仪式
but when I do, I want an intimate ceremony on a beach,
在山坡上举♥行♥招待会
reception on a hillside,
在火山举♥行♥余兴派对
afterparty on a volcano.
希望你能找到一个容纳如此多地形的地方
-Good luck finding one place with all those terrains.
看来有人从来没去过关岛
-Someone's never been to Guam.
那里的地形就是山丘海滩山丘
That place is like hill, beach, hill,
海滩山丘山丘火山山丘海滩
beach, hill, hill, volcano, hill, beach.
你知道婚礼最疯狂的时哪点?
-You know what the craziest thing is about weddings?
是你正在和两个你确定
-The fact that you're having a fancy meal
之后就要去做♥爱♥的人一起吃大餐的事实?
with two people you know are definitely gonna have sex later?
是从来没人请我当她们的伴娘
-It's that no one's ever asked me to be their maid of honor.
人们总是选她们的姐妹
People are always choosing their sister.
这是裙带关系
That's nepotism.
更讨人厌的是我能做的很棒
It's even more annoying because I'd be great.
没人能比我更有条理
No one's more organized than me.
我只去了一次就记住了家得宝的布局
It takes me one visit to memorize the layout of a Home Depot.
家得宝即美国家得宝公♥司♥。为全球领先的家居建材用品零售商，美国第二大零售商，
家得宝遍布美国、加拿大、墨西哥和中国等地区，连锁商店数量达2234家。
我刚看见一位天主教牧师一位犹太教拉比和一位新教牧师一起走了进来
-I just saw a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk in.
这也没什么好笑的
It wasn't that funny.
也许只有他们走近酒吧的时候才会这样
Maybe it only works when they're walking into a bar.
我们这在讨论婚礼
-We're talking weddings over here.
这些例子给了你什么灵感吗?
Any of these cases giving you ideas for yours?
好吧我的婚礼计划在
-Well, my wedding planning has kind of been on hold
我爸爸过世之后就搁置了
since my dad passed away.
兰德和我只是还没回去继续
Rand and I just really haven't jumped back in.
也许你们永远不会继续也许你们会分手
-Maybe you never will. Maybe you'll break up.
-你说什么? -没什么
-What? -Nothing.
我想要做些计划但我没有时间
-I'd love to do some planning. I just haven't had the time.
我太忙了所以我让兰德来主导
I've been so busy, so I'm just letting Rand take the lead
那些我觉得不太重要的事情
on things I don't feel too strongly about.
你觉得重要的事是在辣椒星期三时
-You feel strongly about which beans should be in the chili
-辣椒里该放哪种豆子 -班豆
-on Chili Wednesdays. -Pinto.
鹰嘴豆应该只用来做鹰嘴豆泥
Garbanzo beans should just stick to hummus.
婚礼将是你一生中最特别的时刻
-A wedding is the most special day of your life.
你至少要把它放到和豆子一样的关注度
You should care about it at least as much as you care about beans.
丹.菲尔丁喜欢婚礼?
-Dan Fielding loves weddings?
哦原来你是刀子嘴豆腐心
Oh, you are a big, mushy softy inside.
额这不算是什么新鲜事
-Eh, it's not that big a surprise.
听着婚礼是你一生中唯一一次得到你想要的一切的机会
Look, a wedding is your one chance in life to get everything you want.
烘培师为你带来无穷无尽的蛋糕
Bakers bringing you an endless parade of cakes.
裁缝为你披上最好的衣衫
Tailors draping you in the finest fabrics.
也是一个你能说出其他日子里
And the one opportunity to say what you want to be able to say
想说而不能说的话得时候...
every other day --
儿童禁止入内
no children allowed.
我是说纽约的一些婚礼活动很酷啊
-I mean, some of this New York wedding stuff is pretty cool.
你知道你可以在尼克斯队比赛中场休息时结婚吗?
Do you know you could get married at halftime at a Knicks game?
纽约尼克斯队是一支位于美国纽约州纽约市的NBA球队
至少肯定有人能戴着戒指离开
At least someone then is leaving with a ring.
NBA会为每年总冠军球队队员发放冠军戒指作为纪念
好吧听着如果实在是没时间
-Well, look, if time is the issue,
今晚你就能解决一切
you could knock it out all tonight,
就在这里都不用挪地方
right here, without moving.
我是说在这栋楼里有你需要的一切
I mean, everything you need is in this building.
包括能帮你策划的完美人员
-Including the perfect person to help you plan it.
好吧我不知道...
-Well, I don't know --
我！
-Me! [ Laughs ]
你知道我喜欢这种我们同舟共济的主意
-You know I love the idea of all of us working together.
嘿我已经得到我想要的了
Hey, I'm getting what I want already.
好吧让我们开干吧这一定很有趣
Alright, let's do it. It'll be fun.
婚礼可不是为了好玩
-Weddings aren't about fun.
它是关于无情的得到你想要的东西
They're about ruthlessly getting whatever you want.
这才是乐趣
Which is fun.
这么说是很有趣你是这么说的?
It is about fun. You said that?
奥利维亚我们来这干什么?
-Olivia, what are we doing here?
我和艾比还有许多计划要做
Abby and I still have a lot of planning to do.
我们还要准备新娘和法警的舞会
We have to pick the bride-bailiff dance.
你可以选择任何你喜欢的类型
It can be whatever you want,
但最后都会变成"辣身舞"
but it will end in a "Dirty Dancing" lift.
辣身舞（Dirty dance），一般指动作比较充满性暗示的低级舞蹈
好吧我想我们应该从最重要的事开始
-Well, I thought we'd start with the most important thing.
让她们进来
Bring them in.
请转个圈
Do a 360, please.
好吧我不认为这是最好的...
-Okay, I don't really think this is the best --
哦我喜欢那件的领口
Ooh, I like the neckline on that one.
请四号♥上前一步好吗?
-Can we have number four step forward, please?
能否请你展示一下这件婚纱是否
-And can you demonstrate if the dress has enough give
足够宽松到可以跳小鸡舞?
to do the chicken dance?
事实上能否请你们所有人都演示下?
Actually, could all of you, please?
我知道这是怎么回事你不是想要帮忙
-I know what this is about. You're not trying to help.
你只是想证明你是个好伴娘
You're trying to prove you'd be a good maid of honor.
我能同时做好这两件事
-I can do both at the same time.
这叫做多任务处理
It's called multi-tasking.
什么? 是的我还在线
What? Yes, I'm still holding.
作为一个已经做过五次伴娘
-As someone who's been a maid of honor five times
两次获得最佳古尔斯称号♥
and a Best Gurgs twice,
我可以明确告诉你这份工作不需要清单和正式的服装
I can tell you the job isn't about lists and dress line-ups.
这只与乐趣相关
It's about having fun,
而我在这方面是垄断性的
and I've already cornered that market.
四个字阴♥茎♥法槌
Two words -- penis gavel.
译者注：只查到早期有用牛阴♥茎♥制成法槌，但不明白代表什么
好吧我们就走着瞧谁的风格更有用...
-Well, I guess we'll just see whose style works bet--
不是女士我不会给你发阴♥茎♥法槌的图片的
No, Mom, I'm not sending you a picture of the penis gavel.
所以这里边有你看得上的吗？
So, are any of these jumping out?
我也说不好
-I don't know.
我是说它们都很漂亮但老实说
I mean, they're all nice, but if I'm being honest,