夜间法庭（2023）

Night Court S01E02

Part 1 April 28, 2023, 11:20 a.m.

首先是特科尔的案子
-First up, we have Mr. Turkel,
他被控抢劫未遂
who's accused of attempted robbery.
法官阁下保安摄像机很清楚的
-Your Honor, the security-camera footage
拍到了被告人在犯罪现场的影像
clearly places the defendant at the scene of the crime.
那种模糊的画面就算拍到大脚怪看起来也和我的委托人差不多
-So, grainy footage that could be either my client or Bigfoot?
好吧就算我们可以不考虑影像证据
-Well, we don't even need the camera footage
我们也还有一位目击证人
because we have an eyewitness.
哦抱歉法官阁下
-Oh, sorry, Your Honor.
目击者不能确认他到底看到了谁
The witness could've seen anyone.
我的委托人长相非常普通
My client has an undeniable, everyman look.
他可能被认错成这个法庭上的任何人
He could be mistaken for anyone in this gallery.
辩护人你的辩护就是找和你委托人
-Counselor, is your defense just finding people
长得像的人吗？
who look like your client?
什么？说他们吗？
-What? Do they?
哦！没错！
Oh! Yes!
我的天啊
My God.
他们可真像
They do.
卡尔米内你在这干什么？
-Carmine, what are you doing here?
我在抢劫这位女士店的时候被抓了
-I got caught robbing this lady's store.
他开玩笑的我委托人唯一的罪行
-He's joking. The only thing my client
就是他聪敏”绝顶“
is guilty of is possession of a razor-sharp wit.
被告刚才认罪了能请我们的速记员再读一遍吗？
-The defendant just confessed. Can we have the stenographer read that back, please?
哦你们已经开始了吗？
-Oh, did you guys start?
法官阁下我认为我们很快能了结这案子
-Your Honor, I think we can wrap this up pretty quickly.
现在控方现在主张
Now, the prosecution is going to argue
现有证据是无可争辩的
that the evidence is incontrovertible.
而我将对此进行抗辩
And I will refute it, point by point,
成功证明这些证据是不可采信的
successfully showing that it's inadmissible.
法警的要是要丢了...
The bailiff is gonna drop her keys...
-搞什么鬼！ -而鉴于我的委托人是初犯
-Witch! -...and since it is my client's first offense,
很显然你该裁定他...
you're obviously going to rule --
有罪
-Guilty.
该死！
-Damn it!
好吧好吧
Fine. Fine, fine.
嗯你得承认我说的关键点还是不错的
Well, you got to admit, the key thing was pretty good.
尤其是第二个
Especially the second time.
我是看不懂这个新法官
-I don't understand this new judge.
工作已经结束了
Work is over.
为什么她还要我们留下来？
Why does she want us to stick around?
嗯也许她给我们准备了礼物？
-Well, maybe she got us a present.
也许是穿的
Maybe we can wear it.
也可能是吃的
Ooh! Or eat it.
也许我们能先穿上而后再吃
Maybe we can wear it, then eat it.
比如巧克力夹克
Chocolate jackets.
你要知道如果我是你我就会习惯这个
-You know, if I were you, I'd get used to this.
我和艾比的父亲一起工作了很长时间
I worked with Abby's father for a long time,
除了是一位过度热情的法官
and in addition to being an overenthusiastic judge,
他还是个业余魔术师
he was an amateur magician.
他最擅长的把戏就是让我们的个人时间
His greatest trick was to make my free time
在他的法庭外...
outside of his courtroom...
消失
[gasps] disappear.
我赌10美元会是一场灌鸡汤的演说
10 bucks says it's an inspirational speech.
嗨各位
-Hey, everybody.
我有一些礼物要给大家
I have presents for you all.
但首先我有话要讲
But first, a speech.
当我爸爸在此任职的时候他使每个来到这里的人
When my dad sat in that chair, he made every person
感到自己受到了重视
who walked through those doors feel like they mattered,
而这也是我想做的
and that's just what I want to do.
这就是为什么我为我们找来了一位如此棒的公设辩护人
That's why I went out and got us an awesome public defender.
那他们什么时候能来这？
-When will they be getting here?
哦真好笑
-Oh, God. [ Laughs ]
而这就是这礼物的意义
-And it was the inspiration behind this present.
一个能帮你度过一（白）天的
Water bottles with motivational quotes
刻有励志名言的水壶
to get you through the day.
-或每一晚！ -“中国制♥造♥”
Night! -"Made in China."
我确实更有动力了
I do feel motivated.
我知道这里的有些问题
-I know there are problems here
不是水壶能解决的...
that water bottles can't solve --
像墙上奇怪的污渍
the weird stain on the wall,
房♥顶上住着的欣欣向荣的鸟群
the thriving bird colony that lives in the ceiling
我裂了一整张清单
I've got a whole list.
但如果我们能像夜鹰一样团结一致这都不能阻止我们
But there is nothing that can stop us
这都不能阻止我们
from making this place better
让这个地方变得更好
if we all work together as Nighthawks.
哦我可没精力花在改善这个地方上
-Oh, I'm not putting energy into making this place better.
我正在想法逃离这个地方
I'm trying to get out of here.
这不是一份工作
This isn't a job,
这是一个逃生间
it's an escape room.
别啊这里肯定有人
-Come on. There's gotta be someone here
想和我一起搞一些大动作的
who wants to make some big changes with me.
尼尔！
Neil!
感谢你的加入
Thank you for volunteering.
我想让你挑出这法庭上任何一件
I want you to pick anything you want to improve out
你想改善的事物然后开始动手去做
this courtroom and go crazy.
从尼古拉身上找找灵感他已经很努力的
Take a cue from Nikolai, who's already hard at work
去除屋顶这些讨厌的鸟了
getting rid of those pesky ceiling birds.
哦我们可没有去除它们的预算
-Oh, we don't have the budget to get rid of them.
他只是往上扔一些事物来满足头鸟们
He's just throwing food up there to satisfy the alphas.
意大利辣肠是它们的最爱
Pepperoni's their favorite.
让我们解决这问题
-We're gonna fix that.
因为我们是夜鹰！
'Cause we're the Nighthawks!
别在它们喂食时这样
Not while they're feeding.
谢谢嘿你能给我点建议吗？古尔斯
-Thanks. Hey, can I get your advice on something, Gurgs?
我是说我能看出这是假发
-I mean, I can tell it's a wig,
但我不觉得其他人可以
but I don't think anyone else can.
我的问题是
-Here's my problem --
我让丹做我们的公设辩护人是因为
I asked Dan to be our public defender because,
根据我爸爸和我说的故事
based on the stories my dad told me,
我觉得他有能力在这个位置上做的很好
I thought he had the potential to be really good at it.
这你就搞错了
You were wrong about that.
你♥爸♥爸还真照顾你
Your daddy got you good.
这我知道我只是需要一个好的
-I know. I just need a good
辩方律师来让这更好的运作
defense attorney to make this work.
我就是担心如果逼的他太紧
I'm just worried if I push him too hard,
他就会回到他那孤独的生活中去
he's gonna go back to his lonely existence.
独自一人装了一冰箱肉饼
Just a man, a freezer of loose meat,
购物袋里装满了甜面酱
and Target bag full of duck sauce.
嗯除非你能把这些话都装进水壶里
-Well, unless you can fit all that on a water bottle,
否则你就该直接把话怼在他的大胡子脸上
you're gonna have to tell him to his bearded face.
谁的大胡子脸？
-Whose bearded face?
你会有办法的
-You're gonna figure this out.
你的假发歪了
Just keep your wig on.
你有事找我？
-You wanted to see me?
是啊是啊谢谢你能来
-Yes! Yeah. Thanks for stopping by.
首先我得说你的确是个了不起的律师
First off, gotta say, you are an amazing lawyer.
能请到你是我的荣幸...
It is truly an honor --
-你想说什么？ -好吧嗯...
-What do you want? -Okay, um...
好吧你知道有些时候
Well, you know how sometimes
当某人想要做些事情的时候...
when someone is doing some things --
说正题
-Faster.
你曾是个很棒的检察官而我注意到
-You were a great prosecutor, and I just noticed
你可能对现在站在对立立场感到不适应
that you might be hitting a rough patch now that you're on the other side,
我想知道你在这种转变中是否需要帮助
and I was wondering if you might need any help in the transition.
没有必要
-Not necessary.
我只是临时帮忙到你找到
I'm only here temporarily until you find someone
能长♥期♥担任这职位的人
to fill in permanently.
好吧好吧听我说说真心话
-Okay, okay, just hear me out.
对很多人来说在夜间法庭受审
For a lot of people, coming through night court
是一个很糟糕的经历
can be a major low point.
我只是觉得如果我们能对他们表达一些关怀
And I just think if we show them some compassion,