杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S05E22
Part 3
Nov. 20, 2020, 3:22 p.m.
People are getting dangerously drunk.
大家都快喝醉了
I found a loose EpiPen on the floor,
我在地上发现一支用过的肾上腺素注射器
which can't be good.
肯定不是什么好事
I think we're gonna have to start telling people
我觉得我们得告诉大家
that Schmidt's... on a plane.
施密特在飞机上
Or not. Don't freak out.
不说也行 不要慌
Mom?
妈妈
Schmidt's on a plane?
施密特在飞机上
Mom, what are you doing here?
妈妈 你在这儿干什么
If you've come to object to this wedding,
如果你是来反对这场婚礼的
you are too late,
那就太迟了
and in another sense,
但从另一个层面来说
because it's delayed,
因为婚礼延迟了
you're... too early.
你来得又太早了
That's not at all why I'm here.
我不是为这个来的
Mama P. Schmidt with the latest,
妈 这是由施密特带来的最新一♥期♥
"Why I Love Cece." Today's episode:
"我为什么爱希希" 今日内容
Honesty with a Capital Ouch.
坦诚地大叫
He called you?
他给你打电♥话♥了吗
Every Monday for the past year.
过去一年的每周一都打
Your daughter is the best thing...
你的女儿是最美好的
I just lost a fight in the desert, but...
我刚刚在沙漠里打架打输了 但是
And I want her to be the last thing I see
我希望在我生命终结时
when she pulls the plug.
她是我最后见到的人
But it's not an A-plus
但我们俩都得咽气
unless we both finish.
那样才完美
She's so beautiful.
她真是太美了
The odds are really stacked against our children.
我俩的差距对我们的孩子实在是不利
They're not all winners.
他们不能都是人生赢家
I just know that if you miss your daughter's wedding,
我只是知道如果你错过了你女儿的婚礼
you're going to regret it for the rest of your life.
你余生都会遗憾的
I am delighted
我很高兴
for you to marry this man.
你嫁给了这个男人
For those keeping score with row five,
坐在第五排满是怨气的乘客请注意
Cece's mom is at the wedding!
希希的妈妈已经在婚礼现场了
Just get here when you can, okay?
你能来的时候就快来 好吗
We'll wait until you do.
我们会一直等你的
You know what? Have the party without me.
你知道吗 还是别等我了
Babe. No. Okay, no.
亲爱的 这不行 不行
Have the party. We'll...
开派对吧 我们
We'll get married at City Hall with all the immigrants
我们去市政厅和那些移♥民♥ 自♥由♥主义者
and liberals and first cousins.
还有表兄妹们一起结婚
Your whole life has been about this party.
可你整个人生都倾注这场派对上了
My whole life is you.
我的整个人生是你
Plus, my cousin Nathan is just dying for something to go wrong.
还有 我的表亲Nathan就盼着出什么乱子
I'm so happy.
我太高兴了
I have an idea.
我有个主意
Conga!
跳起康加吧
Whoa, whoa, running out of room here.
都要从这儿跑出去了
Let's back it up.
我们往回退一点
Shut up.
闭嘴
Winston, you don't have to prank the wedding anymore.
温斯顿 你不用在婚礼上恶作剧了
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
好的 没问题
You know, FYI, I was gonna go with a simple, classic streak.
顺便提一句 我本打算来个简单老套的裸奔的
Cece's mom showed up. Come out to the party.
希希的妈妈出现了 出来参加派对
Oh! No! Oh! Oh!
不不不
Oh! Oh, no!
哦不
No! No!
不 不
Sounds like you're under water.
听上去你好像在水下面
As we all know, marriage is about sex and property.
众所周知 婚姻就是性和财产
Everybody say that with me once.
每个人都曾这么跟我说过
Marriage is about s...
婚姻就是...
I imagined that differently.
我不那么想
You're okay. You're okay. Pull it together.
没事的 没事的 加油
Just let the index cards go.
别管提词卡了
Speak from the heart.
说出你的心里话
You know who I'm talking to when I say
大家都知道
you were rude to me earlier at the bar.
我说的之前在酒吧对我无礼的是谁
And now who's in control? I could point to you
现在是谁当家了 我可以指着你
and call you out, but I won't.
让你滚蛋 但我不会
When I first met this guy,
在我第一次遇到这家伙
Schmidt, I thought, "I'm not gonna be friends with him.
施密特的时候 我想 我不要跟他做朋友
I don't like his personality."
我不喜欢他的性格
Magic's fake.
魔术是骗人的
Believe what you want,
爱信不信吧
but I want you guys to think about something,
但我希望你们想想
and now this is off the jack.
现在这是个安慰
In a couple generations,
再过几代
we're all gonna be dead,
我们都将逝去
and no one's gonna remember any of us.
没人有会记得我们任何人
I mean, think about it. Do you remember
想想看 你还记得
your great-great grandparents or...
你的太太太爷爷奶奶吗
or their parents, or what they did day to day?
或者是他们的父母 或者他们每天都做些什么
The point is, it doesn't matter.
重点在于 这都不重要
Everyone you know will be dead.
你认识的每一个都将逝去
That's right.
说得漂亮
Congratulations, man. I love you.
恭喜你 伙计 我爱你
Best friends.
友谊万岁
That's my time, everybody. Thank you.
我的话说完了 谢谢你们
Look, if it made sense, it wouldn't be my wedding.
如果有逻辑的话 就不是我的婚礼了
Your speech wasn't that bad.
你的致辞还不赖
My speech was fantastic.
我的致辞棒极了
It's the best 17 minutes of my life.
这是我人生中最美好的17分钟
I really opened up my heart. I was gonna say.
我真的敞开了心扉 我正要说呢
Nah, I'm just feeling bad about Reagan.
我只是对里根的事感到难过
I think I came on too strong, or-or...
我觉得我太强势了 或者...
I don't know. She told me she's leaving tonight on a train.
我也不知道 她跟我说她今晚就坐火车走
On a train? Where's she going, Hogwarts?
坐火车 她要去哪 霍格沃茨吗
No, San Diego.
不 圣地亚哥
I don't know if "Hog-warts" is near San Diego.
我不知道"霍格沃茨"是不是在圣地亚哥附近
I've never heard of it. Never mind.
我从没听说过 别管了
But, I mean, it's okay. I just, I feel like I, you know...
倒也没什么 我只是觉得...
I just got excited for a second.
我之前还兴奋了那么一下
Nick, she came here to see you.
尼克 她是来这见你的
I bet you're reading into it. What if I go talk to her?
你肯定是会错意了 要不我找她谈谈
Talk me up a little bit?
稍稍提及我
Woman to woman? That's implied.
女人间的对话 太含蓄了
Winston.
温斯顿
No hay Weenstons. It's ocupados.
不是温斯顿 有人在用
Winston, I know you're in there
温斯顿 我知道你在里面
'cause I'm looking at a picture of your butt cheeks right now.
因为我现在正看着一张你屁♥股♥蛋的照片
Oh, that's a working class butt.
这是对工人阶级的屁♥股♥
Nothing wrong with that!
没什么不对的
Give me...
给我...
Give me those. That's a fatty. You got a fatty.
把它给我 真够大的 你屁♥股♥真大
This is not Winnie's day.
今天可不是温尼的大日子
Ernie, give him your jacket.
厄尼 把你外套给他
What? Give me the damn jacket.
什么 把外套给我
All right, here, dude.
好吧 给你
I jabbed my giblets in the breast pocket.
我的大鸟戳进胸口的口袋里了
Tie it around your waist.
绑你腰上
Then that leaves the front porch open or the back.
那就得露出鸟鸟或者屁屁了
I don't think this is gonna work.
这样我看不行
I'll just sit here cold and naked
在我的好基友结婚的时候
while my best friend gets married.
我就坐这裸着冻着吧
Look, you were right, Coach.
你说得对 教练
I'm not a serious man. I'm a nude,
我不是个严肃的人 我是个裸着的
apple bottom, long-fronted dumb-ass.
有着苹果型屁♥股♥大长鸟的蠢货
Ooh, look. At least you can change the background. Look.
至少你可以换背景
Now I'm in the Oval Office. That's crazy.
我现在在总统办公室了 太厉害了
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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